Me either! Hmph! (You hear that Cake Pro? I'm talkin to YOU) 
Yes Play doh is great and none of that messy food coloring!
I just wanted to add, everyone on CC is a complete idiot. I have 79+ years of experience in this industry. I would tell you something I've learned but it'll be more fun to have you guess what you are doing wrong. Just believe me it's everything. But I hope we can all be friends and you'll realize I just know what's good for you.
But let's not forget that "we don't know enough to know that we don't know" 
Hey, I just had a thought.....the above quote sounds like a Mike Brady line from the Brady Bunch, do you think that susiecreamcheese or whatever her name was could have been him? 
Oh, wait I think he's gone from this earth...........never mind.
Oh and "never take advice from what you read on the internet"!
Oooooh.... Ahhhhh..... I want that Handy Dandy FCS (Ferret Cleaning System) that Cocorum has!!! Here I've been using just a miniature dachshund all this time. 
She's useless! Can't even get onto my island!
and AND... Gulp! I have a confession. While I've never sold any, I'm a Mexican mommy making tamales for her family. 
Not just at Christmas time either. I just made some last week. I didn't know I was going to introduce everyone to Sally. Sally Monella that is...OH WAIT that wasn't my food. It was those peanuts from that big fancy factory! 
Thanks so much for all the info here. I will start with the butt scratching right away! I always thought those cola cake recipes were calling for soda pop in the recipe! I get it NOW! Cola = Butt 
Off to the kitchen I go 
I just wanted to add, everyone on CC is a complete idiot. I have 79+ years of experience in this industry. I would tell you something I've learned but it'll be more fun to have you guess what you are doing wrong. Just believe me it's everything. But I hope we can all be friends and you'll realize I just know what's good for you.
But let's not forget that "we don't know enough to know that we don't know"
Hey, I just had a thought.....the above quote sounds like a Mike Brady line from the Brady Bunch, do you think that susiecreamcheese or whatever her name was could have been him?
Oh, wait I think he's gone from this earth...........never mind.Oh and "never take advice from what you read on the internet"!
Maybe he's been re-incarnated into susiecreamcheese! Stranger things have happened!
So I have a few confessions to make...since all of you psychos are admitting your issues, I might as well too... Your whole post had me cracking up!! I bow to the newest and greatest comedian caker on here!!!
***fanning hand in front of mouth*** O-M-G!!
The queen of comebacks has said she digs my post!
Omigosh, Omigosh! DUDE!! Where's my printer...I'm printing this out and putting it on my headboard so that every night before I go to sleep I can rub my cheek against it and know that Debi really does loves me...(((sigh))), I luuuuv you Debi...
So what happened to the consumer safety post with susiecreamcheese? Did it get deleted?
BTW I found a great way to color buttercream red or black without useing a ton of food coloring (bleck)
Just use acrylic paint! Pour it right in the bowl and mix up, hey the bottle says non-toxic, and boy does it help with the crusting once it dries. One bottle goes along way too, you don't have to use nearly as much as that nasty food gel stuff.
Oh My! you guys better make sure that your escape tunnel to the cake catacombs are in good working order.
There she goes, blabbing about the "Secret Place" again.
Theresa 
Oh My! you guys better make sure that your escape tunnel to the cake catacombs are in good working order.
There she goes, blabbing about the "Secret Place" again.
Theresa
Well I would feel so Guilty if one of you got caught because you didn't know about them. Please notice I didn't say how you got in to them just that they were there.
Did you miss the part where I said it was a secret place?
Theresa
ah man.. I thought we were now " Cake whores"...what changed?
Umm, duuuuu-uuuuuh! Different thread, different inflammatory, highly insulting names!! Sheesh, you got a brain injury or something, so you can't remember this stuff?
And speaking of back-stabbing, cheating cake hoochies... Tita... you are officially on my poo-poo list. All this time you've been secretly coveting Indydeb's affections behind my back. I thought I was your main cake goddess, but I see now that you used me. *sob* Well, fine... you take your Debi love and run with it. I hope the two of you will be VERY happy together. *gasp* *sob* Who needs you! And Debi, don't think I will soon forget how you courted my cake drone right under my very nose.
So, here's a picture of a cake I made. Please leave a comment, but not a short, fakey "That's great!", it must be three sentences long and you must tell me in at least twenty words how wonderful my skills are. And don't PM me and ask me for the directions. No, I won't tell you how I made it. Unless you say please. In French. In fact, I changed my mind, don't leave me any comments. NO CAKE FOR YOU!
And speaking of back-stabbing, cheating cake hoochies... Tita... you are officially on my poo-poo list. All this time you've been secretly coveting Indydeb's affections behind my back. I thought I was your main cake goddess, but I see now that you used me. *sob* Well, fine... you take your Debi love and run with it. I hope the two of you will be VERY happy together. *gasp* *sob* Who needs you!
And Debi, don't think I will soon forget how you courted my cake drone right under my very nose.
*holding arms out* C'mere, Melvira...*rubbing Melvira's head*...shh, c'mon now, you know you'll always be my fav psycho cake whore...*wiping Melvira's tears away and handing her a tissue*...now wipe that glob of Bettercream off of your chin, you look crazy.
*rubbing Melvira slobber off of shoulder*...there's nothing going on between Debi and I, I swear. I know you found her "Member Profile" picture plastered on my bedroom walls, but I was just looking for inspiration. She means nothing to me. Come on, you know you're the only one I can talk to on here, all these other whack jobs are just playthings.
You forgive me? I mean, I didn't dream Debi was a Bettercream fairy, now did I? Only you have tormente...I mean blessed me in my dreams...
So, here's a picture of a cake I made. Please leave a comment, but not a short, fakey "That's great!", it must be three sentences long and you must tell me in at least twenty words how wonderful my skills are. And don't PM me and ask me for the directions. No, I won't tell you how I made it. Unless you say please. In French. In fact, I changed my mind, don't leave me any comments. NO CAKE FOR YOU!
I think i just threw up a little on top of my cake..I'll just clean it up so is ready for delivery tomorrow in my pick up truck...Hope is not raining...
Edna
I can't help you either...
but here's another bump.
(you're all waaaaayyyy beyond help anyways)
Just have to ask...........What's a cake catacomb? Is that what you use to "comb" the "cat" fur out of your butter cream?
Seriously.......not kidding, what is it? Pretty please!
Well dkelley I'm not at liberty to say much on the subject but I can give you the definition as given in Aunt Em's 2009 dictionary of cake terms (abridged version)
Cake Catacombs- noun (keyk kat-uh-kohms) a mysterious underground place the existence of which has never been definitely confirmed by the Health Departments. Supposedly cake bandits go there when the health department looks for them and people selling staph infected tamales. The reason that the health department believes that cake decorators are responsible for the tamales has never been confirmed either. The catacombs are said to have been dug by many cake decorators with 1000s of plastic spoons. Others say they were dug with cake scrapers. This rumor is to have been started in the making Texas legal thread.
Cake Bandits- noun (keyk ban-dit) Cake decorators who sell cake illegally out of they're homes. You can tell them because they wear Zorro masks and go around piping Z's on everything. They have even been known to pipe z's on the doors of the health department.[i]
That is all that I'm at liberty to say. I'll never disclose their location. I'd eat a tamale first (and that is saying a lot because I really don't like them )
So, here's a picture of a cake I made. Please leave a comment, but not a short, fakey "That's great!", it must be three sentences long and you must tell me in at least twenty words how wonderful my skills are. And don't PM me and ask me for the directions. No, I won't tell you how I made it. Unless you say please. In French. In fact, I changed my mind, don't leave me any comments. NO CAKE FOR YOU!
I think i just threw up a little on top of my cake..I'll just clean it up so is ready for delivery tomorrow in my pick up truck...Hope is not raining...
Edna
And I forgot to say I decorated this seven tier all buttercream, dragee covered cake in two hours, from bowl to cake stand. And if you knew anything about cake decorating you could do it, too.
In all seriousness, I am so flattered that EDNA (!) liked my comment enough to throw up on her cake!! Hey, just leave it on there and charge 'em extra!!
You'll notice Debi is not defending herself... she knows what she did was 
we can only have one queen? I thought they were goddesses and we had many. Some have fallen from grace and have lost all their worthiness even thought their talent and history are grand. I thoought we could worship and covet several. I had no idea the Dark One would make us chose just one. I am a horrible minion lower than the FCS that is now all the rage. I can only dream of regaining faith in the whores and hope some day to be a grand whore like the rest and not a cheap slut like I have become. 
You're right, there are many cake Godessess... I'm simply angry because I THOUGHT I had managed to completely assimilate Tita's soul and leave her a mindless stuttering shell of herself. I am disappointed that she seems to retain some modicum of free will.
All the big words really make my heart strings flutter.
For some two-bit cake "B*tches" as Melvira so lovingly refers to us, we sure got us some smarts don't we?
There's enough of the fine, "wicked hot" (see Melvira...I don't quote Debi, do I?), voluptuous (that's stretching it huh?), witty piece of art that you call Tita to go around.
What you all don't realize is that I've slipped a little sumthin-sumthin' into all of your BC so that you'll turn into mindless Tita zombies...
All the big words really make my heart strings flutter.
See, that's how I reeled her in in the first place.
What you all don't realize is that I've slipped a little sumthin-sumthin' into all of your BC so that you'll turn into mindless Tita zombies...
You too? Oh man... I wonder who's recipe is stronger. I guess we'll find out at the zombie gathering... er... 'cake convention' that we are arranging.
we can only have one queen? I thought they were goddesses and we had many. Some have fallen from grace and have lost all their worthiness even thought their talent and history are grand. I thoought we could worship and covet several. I had no idea the Dark One would make us chose just one. I am a horrible minion lower than the FCS that is now all the rage. I can only dream of regaining faith in the whores and hope some day to be a grand whore like the rest and not a cheap slut like I have become.
So maybe that needs to be our new forum status'...
Newbie (cause we wouldn't want to offend anyone right off the bat)
Cheap Slut
Grand Whore
CC Goddess
Ok, so maybe some will take offense to this...
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