did you guys miss my question?
I'd like to know if I can now pass out business cards?
hehe
Oh I saw it but chose to ignore it because you didn't search for the answer first!
Good one!
14 pages of things we can make fun of ourselves with. We are a pathetic group!
And I luv ya all!! 
Hey, hey, hey now..... did we forget? I already patented butt scratchings... nobody else is alowd to use them anymore! I sue.... my lawyer is Larry H Parker and he'll got me 2.1 million!
You can't sue me because I'm calling my business "Butt Scratch Cakes©"
See I already copyrighted it and used it before you so there neener neener nu nu on you!
I'll Get You My Pretty!!!!! I'm melting... melting.... ooh, something else to add for extra flavor!
New product lines:
Butt scratch scotch cake
Crunchy Coakroach Crumble
Triple Poo (assortment of rodent drops) chocolate dream
leppar lizzard lime with toe jam filling
body shot cherry with navel lint
snotty chocolate covered boogies and cherry cream
Laundry day special (too busy to know the exact flavor, resembles bleach)
Armpit dander delight
Maggot cream for all the above.
Sameneolla Surprise
E coli Cola cake
What a day. I had no idea that I would get so many ideas for the new place after the bill passes. I can't wait to open shop.
We luv you to indydebi!
Jly and Mommy....
OH... MY... GOD...!!! 
You disgusting, revolting, back biting, heart stabbing, filthy little tweaks!!! How LONG have you been SPYING on me in my kitchen??? I cannot believe you are up to page 15 of mocking some of my best work! All I ever do is come here and humbly offer any help and advice I can to all the cakers across the world, and you pathetic knobs can only bust my chops over a few unorthodox methods that I use. Well, all I can say is that I'd better not run into any of you skank chippy's in a dark alley at ICES this year. You'd better watch your buttercream if you know what's good for you! Oh, and you all have saddle bags, love handles, and dark little bags under your eyes!!!
Stupid cake b*tches...
(By the way, I tried to post something similar to this earlier and it apparently didn't go through. If it did, then don't I look silly... but I haven't seen it pop up, so I'm assuming it didn't. Oh, but I'm still mad at you, so shut up. Fatty.)
ah man.. I thought we were now " Cake whores"...what changed?
Has anyone else had success greasing their cake pans with KY jelly or mens grecian hair formula? I used some on 2 different cakes today, just wondering if the stupid customers will notice. Oh well, they were snobs anyhow.
Has anyone else had success greasing their cake pans with KY jelly or mens grecian hair formula? I used some on 2 different cakes today, just wondering if the stupid customers will notice. Oh well, they were snobs anyhow.
Nah, I usually just have my husband rub his shiny bald head onto my pans, it's a huge cost saver. 
Hello. I am fairly new to CC and I would like to know the best way to transport cakes to my customers. The last time I was delivering one, I had to slam on my brakes. My cake became covered in spare change, fast food crumbs and dirt from my shoes. So I turned around, took it back home, and covered it with another layer of BC. Hey, they don't call it crumb coat for nothing!
Hey Debi
If we don't make fun of ourselves someone else will do it and then that will just piss us off and we'd be talking all this crap about them! Then we'd be in trouble for slander, and the thread would get locked and, we'd all end up hating each other...so this way is much better and waaaay funnier!! 
Alicia,
I say your off to a good start! High five on your quick thinking and not wasting a perfectly good cake! They actually ended up with more since they got your spare change too!
sorry to say, I use the ky for laundry, ear wax works great as pan release, however. I have also used the grease from the fried chicken pan. Try not to get the little crunchies in it. If you use grease, just strain out the solid stuff, let it solidify and you can make bc with it. What else do you do with used crisco any way? Is it ok if I vacumn up the RC on the floor, sift out the dust and all, and use the other stuff for RCT? I only plan on sculpting it, not really planning on serving it. I hate to go to the store this late at night. Please help, I have no clue. I haven't bathed in a week, and well they give me dirty looks and say something about the smell. I just want to get this done and go to the cake club and hang with leahs.
People just don't understand when I say I put "My blood sweat and tears in to that cake" I really mean it. Blood is awesome to get that frosting that perfect shade of red. The tears are because it really hurts to extract your own blood, and the sweat is from the raging bacterial infection I got from using a dirty knife to get the blood out. Anyone got a pint to spare I'm a little low and I need to get some for an Elmo cake that's due in 20 minutes.
I just wanted to add, everyone on CC is a complete idiot. I have 79+ years of experience in this industry. I would tell you something I've learned but it'll be more fun to have you guess what you are doing wrong. Just believe me it's everything. But I hope we can all be friends and you'll realize I just know what's good for you.
So, I have to add a question here - If I use a cake mix, while scratching my butt, can I call it a scratch cake?
Baking a marble cake?
Theresa 
I just wanted to add, everyone on CC is a complete idiot. I have 79+ years of experience in this industry. I would tell you something I've learned but it'll be more fun to have you guess what you are doing wrong. Just believe me it's everything. But I hope we can all be friends and you'll realize I just know what's good for you.
π
Ok, here's my problem. I bake cuppies that have domes and cakes that don't. But wait, no, reverse that, why do my cakes have domes? And now my cuppies are flat! Do I need to level/not level something here? And I want sharp edges on my buttercream, but I want it to look like fondant and maybe have rounded edges instead? 
Too many angles/not sharp enough/need to be sharper/level/domes ARRGGHHH *runs from room screaming*
Is it ok if I vacumn up the RC on the floor, sift out the dust and all, and use the other stuff for RCT? I only plan on sculpting it, not really planning on serving it. I hate to go to the store this late at night. Please help, I have no clue. I haven't bathed in a week, and well they give me dirty looks and say something about the smell. I just want to get this done and go to the cake club and hang with leahs.
I say why bother with straining the RCs, just empty the vacuum cleaner bag into the marshmallow mixture and go for it!
BTW---I was crying when I read this---hilarious!!
Cindy - your avatar looks just like my counter/dish/table/floor cleaner! Aren't they great? Who needs a sink with a scrubber like that?
I know I'm late to this thread but I wanted to share my secret.
<insert your best infomercial host voice here>
Those of you using dogs & cats to do the cleaning are way behind the times. I have the new and improved "ferret" cleaning system! Dogs are just too big and clunky to be around my delicate cakes and counter top kitchen equiptment. Dogs are good for ground work but that about it. 4-5 ferrets and you are good to go! Kinda like a Roomba, ya know!
One ferret for licking those hard to reach places like your recycled bubble tea straws! A dogs tongue would be way to large for that job!
Another ferretwill burrow in your flour & confectioners sugar thus eliminating the need for sifting!
Another for rummaging through your cupboards and drawers to help you find your piping tips and small items.
Then you have one ferret that likes the water so he is good for the final clean up so you save him for last, he'll just splash around the kitchen sink and then drag his body all over the counters to dry himself/clean the counter!
Oh and that's not all, they even come with their own special ferret scent! How fantastic is that?!
You all should have this system it's the best! Just run out to your local ferret shelter and adopt 4 or more TODAY!
Just wanted to add that you people are nuts I was in stitches reading this thread. Thanks!
(I really do have 5 ferrets...they have their own house out back, the ferret scent is much too potent for my taste 
)
Cindy - your avatar looks just like my counter/dish/table/floor cleaner! Aren't they great? Who needs a sink with a scrubber like that?
My avatar is my beloved Sally dog. She was a great pot scrubber, but she lost her battle with cancer in December. I have a new one now,
his name is Chance and he is an 80 lb Golden mix.
Aww, Cindy I'm so sorry to hear about Sally. Golden's make such good scrubbers don't they? I'm currently using the 79 pound oversized puppy model. He doesn't always wait until I'm ready for the pots to be scrubbed before he starts scrubbing though!
Oh My! you guys better make sure that your escape tunnel to the cake catacombs are in good working order. So you can run out the back when the Health Departments comes after all you "outlaw" cake decorators. And don't forget to take all your cake toys with you when you go underground. Otherwise they'll know you're a outlaw cake decorator. Destroy the evidence or take it with you!
Um...how does everyone explain to their customers why they are always doing laundry instead of working on their cakes and why it always takes two to do it?
Um...how does everyone explain to their customers why they are always doing laundry instead of working on their cakes and why it always takes two to do it?
Well, powdered sugar gets everywhere, so the clothes need to come off...just makes things easier...and someone needs to be folding the laundry while the other...
Ok, I can't continue...it's too much for me!! lolololol
Hey guys, do remember this site that Cakepro made up? It was the funniest thing ever about being able to make ANY cake in THE WHOLE WORLD! For some reason, this reminds me of that.
http://www.notmycakes.webs.com/
Hey guys, do remember this site that Cakepro made up? It was the funniest thing ever about being able to make ANY cake in THE WHOLE WORLD! For some reason, this reminds me of that.
http://www.notmycakes.webs.com/
That site depresses me...she never did steal any of my cakes.
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