i agree with you tina not everyone was here when RB was pastrydiva. one of her victims back then was the every ones beloved Squirelycakes. this was her second chance on CC if she had left under good circumstances the first time she would have kept her original name dont you think??? 

yes she was friendly to some but extremely rude and ugly to others. some on here have said we are all adults but that is not the case we have teenagers on this site as well. yes the world is a rough place but this is a place we should all be able to come to and just relax. its ok to disagree but not be ugly about it. i try to think of things this way before submitting a post or in general when speaking to people........would i want someone talking to one of my kids that way???? true feelings are hard to interpret from written/typed words all the more reason to read and reread what we are typing before hitting the submit button. how boring life would be if we all smiled and agreed thats not what anyone is asking for here. just use some tact when making your point.
I was not aware that RB had previously been registered as Pastry Diva! I do remember her and the previous problems, she left shortly after I originally joined CC.
That being said...I think we all need to keep something in mind. "Just because we read a post, and then interpretted(sp?) it in a bad manner...that is not necessarily as the post was originally intended!" No one should ever have to apologize for their opinions, or the way that is was read by another person!
If you think someone is being rude, please go back and re-read their post, it is possible that you are mistaken...give everyone that chance! And then if you find their post to be in poor taste, simply ignore it instead of attacking.
First and foremost...I appreciate this site and everything that Jackie and Heath do to make it fun.
Risque certainly had her own style and way of expressing herself. Keep in mind that the written word can be very deceiving. Two different people can read the same sentence and get a different take on it. Multiply that by the thousands of members, this site has, and you can get the result we are now discussing.
I appreciate that the owners of this board want it kept civil. I have no problem with that. If I did I would leave. But I do think that sometimes members can be conflicted, especially when "judging" the work of others.
I've answered queries,honestly, as the person asked and have been dressed down for it. I only reply to personal pms. I won't leave comments on many photos, even when members want "honesty". Why? Because I don't think that alot of members really want honesty and I can't tell the difference between them. I would rather keep my mouth shut than risk the ire of someone with a wounded ego.
Risque was honest about the business end of things. Like it or not, not everyone who does what we do will be successful at it. Alot of us have invested alot of money in this hobby or business, not to mention the time we put into it. And alot of us, despite all of our good efforts, will fail at it. That is a sad fact of business. Where do you think all those goodies come from on Ebay? From people who just couldn't make things work.
I was lucky enough to have someone, much like Risque, who critiqued my work when I started. Sometimes after a session, with her, I would drive home, sobbing. But I realized that her "harshness" was an act of kindness. She was no tougher on me than any paying customer would be if my work didn't meet their expectations. I've said before that if you don't have a thick skin you aren't meant to be in a business that deals with the public. That is my opinion and I'm sticking to it. ![]()
I'm sorry she is gone. She never hesitated to help someone who asked. She knew her stuff and would share whenever she could. Some didn't appreciate her blunt style and others applauded it and made it work in a positive way. I have a feeling that Risque will still have a successful business long after others have given up the ghost.
As someone said before, this site belongs to Jackie and Heath and they have the right to run it as they see fit. We can like it and stay or lump it and leave. Our choice. But I think that many are losing out on honest evaluations of their work because many are afraid to help, lest they be accused of being "mean". I do think that can be accomplished diplomatically but many times it comes down to the perception of the reader and whether, when they ask for "honesty", they have really checked their egos at the door. ![]()
I have waited all day thinking how I would word a post to this thread. Did I want to post and take the chance of being trounced here? If I didn't post would people think I was sitting back and enjoying this because I made the suggestion that RB be banned from the forum? I am glad those of you who consider yourself to be Mara's friend or who have been helped by her advise are defending her. That is what I would hope my friends would do for me if I needed support. I have only been here for 6 months and I don't know all of the facts about what had happened with regards to Mara before I came here. All I can go by is what I have seen since joining. So many negative post or threads that involved cruel and hurtful comments by her towards others who tried to express their opinion and were attacked and talked down to and made to feel less than. I pmed her once when she was particularly cruel to a person who posted in a sugar thread. I asked her why, and if she didn't see that it made her look like the bad guy? She apologized to me and said she hadn't thought it out before she posted. She never really admitted she was wrong, only that she hadn't considered how it sounded to him. She said at that time that she was going to back off and try and not do that again. But she did do it again, and not just with that member. What Turtle and Flava are saying is true. I came here to this forum as a place to enjoy sharing and learning from people who shared an interest in cake decorating. Not to see infighting and negativity. And it isn't that you can just say "don't read the post, ignore her" because often she didn't come into a post until the second page or so. It may have started with someone asking for help or posting about something they were considering doing and everyone would be supportive or at least listening politely. But then Mara would come into it and either insinuate the person didn't know what they were talking about or go off on a rant about unlicensed decorators, the mods, Heath or Jackie closing a thread she had posted in. How CC wa a dictatorship where no one could express their opinion, or where people were too thin skinned, overly sensitive or just didn't understand her. And it would quickly become a "He said, she said" kind of thing with people getting angry and rude. Yes, she had as much right to express her opinion as any of us, but when someone said she was was offending or upsetting them it seemed she always turned that around to "that's just the way I am" and we were supposed to accept that and say "oh that Mara, that's just her way" Well her way was wrong in my eyes. You don't say things over and over again that are inflammatory and hurtful and then expect people to ignore it. So, I thank Heath and Jackie for weighing this decision carefully and doing what in my mind was the right thing.
I am heartsick that Janice has been banned as well and I hope that she and the administrators can talk this over and work it out so that she is allowed to return. She is in her 70s, confined to home much of the time because of her health. CC is her social outlet and way of keeping in touch in the world with people she has something in common with and cares about. I think she had something of value to contirbute to CC and I would hope that she is able to return. And I hope that once things calm down here it will get back to a pleasant place for all members to come and escape from the outside world for awhile, to make some cake buddies and share in the art of cake decorating.
I fill silly for getting drawn into this topic but since I have spent the last hour (all my free time) reading every post I feel compelled to state my own opinon. RB never offended me personally but I can see where she would have offended a lot of people.
I do however take some offense to some of the things being said in this thread and the way we are all treating eachother as a gallery supporting member I do not believe that my comments are fluff or sugar coated or fake and im certainly not wearing rose colored glasses I know the world can be harsh but does cc have to be ? I honestly believe that even if its not the best cake in the world you can always find something nice to say whether it be something just as simple as the color they used or a really nice border there is always something I do not always say great cake when its not.
As far as running an illegal home bakery it is not ones persons job to lash out at people because they do not have a buisness license and you do how does someone without a license 2,000 miles away affect your buisness or people like me who live in a state where I dont have to have a lincense.
Many have written that it should be ok for someone to state there opionon even if it differs from the group and causes a stir and if we dont like it we dont have to read it is that to say that one person is allowed to read a post and state there own opionon but If i come along and disagree with the person I should just skip over it and not respong maybe the orginal person should have skiped over what she did not agree with?
I would just like to thank heath and jackie for keeping this site a fun friendly place to be and to all of you who keep stating your opionons and then saying wait I hope I dont get banned for this or oh wait is this going to offend someone that is very childish have some respect for the people that created our much loved web site and know that this is there home and they have the right to ban disruptive behavior and you should not make a joke out of them.
heather2780... Good for you for speaking up!!!! I wish everyone who was offended by RB or not would speak up. You can say what you mean without being mean! IMHO you did a good job of it!
I believe Jackie & Heath are ALWAYS fair!!!!!! As are our moderators!!! ![]()
I very seldom post, mostly read. etc., when time permits. I appreciate having CC free of charge, a place to learn from such wonderful people with such talent.
Rules are made to be followed in this "ole world" including this site. Some people choose their own path. God loves all of us!
When I comment on cakes, I am sincere. I may not post an elaborate statement, but mean what I say.
There has been so much negativity on this site, I hope that Jackie and Heath and other moderators will continue to keep this site up and running.
I know it is difficult to view pictures in the gallery but hopefully, the problem may be resolved in time to come.
Thank you for allowing me to be a member of this site, I Love It! as much as I love Icing on the Cake!
Melanie
^I agree with you ShirleyW.
I must say that Ive not posted in a thread to avoid something RB might say... I have never felt the need to avoid any other member on CC.
Boy o' boy! ![]()
Not that I think anyone's going to read my little humble opinion buried on page 13, but I just had to throw in my 2 cents.
I've been a member of cc for almost 2 years now, and I really love this site. I've only had 1 negative interaction with a member, and that was through pms, mostly. But, I have noticed a couple of changes recently that have been bugging me.
1. The tone seems to be negative around the edges because people are complaining that they aren't being allowed to be negative! ![]()
Well, no one ever said we can't be constructive - just be kind about it. That doesn't mean sickly, syrupy sweet -- it means, be constructive. I tell my high school students that every day, and they've learned how to be honest but tactful. My humble advice is to be specific if you see need of improvement. "Great 1st fondant cake. Keep working on the smoothness." Nothing wrong with that, is there?
2. I've gotten the feeling that there's a lot of cliquishness going around. I'm not a part of it and don't want to be, but I sometimes wonder if people don't reply to questions I have because they're ticked that I didn't look for it in the previous threads. I have a lot of trouble finding exact answers to questions I have, and I trust the expertise of the cc members. I don't think I'm lazy. I just like to hear a current response.
3. RB's situation is a tough one for everyone who cares, it sounds like, but it's brought up some really good points of discussion. I don't have an opinion one way or the other about her -- some of her posts are caustic sounding -- others are very, very respectful, but whatever the case, I hope someone will e-mail her and let her know how much good discussion has come from this.
I love CC, and I'm glad there are moderators and that Jackie and Heath are really paying attention to what goes on here. I don't agree that they want a utopia, but I think it's pretty clear that they do want a haven from the "real world" where people can discuss cake, view cake, and show off cake in a place unlike any other out there.
Long vent, but thanks for listening.
Sarah
are we beginning to flog the proverbial dead horse here?
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I heard ya'll the 1st time......
So true!
I email off forum. She knows that I am a freelance cake designer. No bakery not licensed. Legal if we do not advertise. She has never said Boo about what I do.
I think that it is terrible to talk about someone in fourteen pages.
Ugh, this is just so awful, this whole situation. ![]()
What it boils down to that this is Jackie's and Heath's site. Heath let us know what we needed to know and I am fine with that. The rules posted are clear. This is a free site and we are certainly darn lucky that is possible!! Their site, their rules.
I became a member back in 2005 and lurked almost daily, but did not make my first post until May of 2006. I don't recall all that happened in the past. What I do know is that I made a handful of CC friends since I started posting. And I would like to say that Tina is at the top of my list with stephanie214 and JanH, but Risque was there as well. Risque was full of insight and great information, but yes, she was blunt. Cruel? I don't know, maybe? I don't read everything that goes on with the forums now and I have no clue what happened in the past. But, there was obviously something that was enough to justify Heath and Jackie to consider her to be gone, I guess twice. I'm sorry that it had to be this way, but they make the rules--it is their site--and I appreciate everything that they do to make this place worth coming to everyday. I do know that Risque was considerate--really. She was one of two people that PM'd me birthday wishes and stephanie being the other
Both took the time to acknowledge that of me and I appreciate it. Two personalities at either end of the spectrum--I appreciate and respect them both. Risque was also willing to help with a possible wedding cake for my friend's SIL (which unfortunately turned into a big mess--the soon to be bride and groom not getting along)--outside the norm of her business.
I think the best way to look at repsonding to posts is this way: by all means, write what you truly feel, but before posting, hit that preview button and re-read it and remember: "... step with care and great tact and remember that life's a great balancing act...."--Dr Suess. And then rewrite as necessary. ![]()
I read it Sarah and you have some great points. Things like this may not be what people want to hear or talk about but it can lead to some good discussion.
With all due respect, Risque has had much support in this thread...Jackie and Heath must have left this open for everyone to air any grievances, thoughts or suggestions they may have. It has gone on for awhile but honestly, if you are done with it or tired of reading it - you do have the choice of whether or not to open it again. No offense to anyone... 
I toyed with posting to this all day but didn't...the first time I tried, the thread WAS actually locked. Maybe it was being moved at the time.
I really do not believe that she was banned for stating her opinion or being "honest". If that wasn't something acceptable here, this thread would not be open. I will say that I am always, always for 100% honesty and appreciate straight forwardness, as that is how I am. So I didn't have a problem with that in her style. It wasn't so much that she was blunt and "tell it like it is" but it seemed that every opportunity was taken to almost berate others for certain things in ANY thread. I saw the topic come up about "illegals" in threads that had nothing to do with it. Or about people with pets. That is someone with a bone to pick, not someone giving feedback. And I had no idea until I read through this that she was Pastry Diva...I used to be astounded at how argumentative and nasty their posts were at times. And this is coming from a very thick-skinned, sarcastic woman.
She was indeed very insightful on the business side of caking and I've seen good posts of hers but I think this was brewing for a very long time...and it obviously wasn't the first instance of banning. Nobody knows the full story.
I am very sorry to see Janice go.
I know the decision to ban is not an easy one so I trust Jackie and Heath are doing what they feel is best.
I just had to get those pennies off my chest and into this growing fat piggy bank. My intent is not to bash anyone - just give my own honest opinion.
I sincerely hope that CC can make a turn back to the more carefree place it was when I found it almost 2 years ago.
When you think about the tens of thousands here, all of the info, galleries, contests, the online store, etc....Jackie and Heath do an outstanding job! Their house deserves respect.
I was at the brunt of RBs tongue lashings -- can't say it was the nicest thing to happen on this site, and many times I considered not coming back because of it... but then I came to my senses and as an adult know that you shouldn't let a bully win... and that's what would have been if I had not returned.
However... maybe some people need to remember what most kids get taught at a very young age... "if you have nothing nice to say... don't say it at all".
I think that it is terrible to talk about someone in fourteen pages.
I agree, however this is mainly support of her and pretty much we have remained pretty honest BUT also pretty respectful... it goes to show you can be honest without all the horrible disrespect.
Now I will repost what I asked in my last post here Please please please, if you have already posted once in this thread please don't repost, we all need to continue on, we don't want to lock it yet, but the time is coming, we need to move on. (I know I reposted but I had too
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