"Why are there so many people saying that this person (because they are on assistance) should be able to get something she obviously couldn't afford? Why should this particular customer get a discount on her cake?"
If you read through all the posts, this discussion is not about people thinking this gal should get a designer cake for next to nothing. This all started because people were outraged that a person on food stamps can buy a grocery store birthday cake.
I read through all the posts. I guess I just got confused when people started saying that people had a right to a birthday cake. My train of thought went back to the beginning of the thread. I didn't know they were specifically referring to grocery store cakes. Sorry! 
It's fine. =0) No need to apologize for confusion. Just wanted to clarify for you.
I think you misunderstood what she meant when she said the person didn't have a right to cake. My understanding of what she meant was that cake was a luxury item that nobody...on assistance or otherwise...has a right to. There's a difference in having a right to order pizza for your children and having a right to pizza. The first implies that you have made the necessary allowances to provide for their pizza....when the pizza guy shows up, you will pay him. The second, the right to the product, implies the sense of entitlement, that whether or not you can afford it, you have the right to call up the pizza place and they have to provide you with pizza because you have the "right" to it.
am I reading that correctly??? So....if a person is on any type of goverment assistance they dont have RIGHTS to luxury items ever?? .....do you also feel the same that since I made the choice to stay home and care for my 5 kids I dont have a right to a break? wouldnt a break be a luxury for me?do I not have a right to it because I made the choices to be in this crazy house???....and honestly I'd dare someone to tell me that to my face!
as far as the pizza goes...would it be the same if I hadn't said we're not on assistance? What if I was on assistance and still budgeted and had a little extra for pizza....would it still be ok for me to order it...or does it change?
In order for me to order pizza...that means I have to manuever my grocery or gas money next week....does that mean if I paid for my groceies with foodstamps then my kids should ONLY eat what is eligible for foodstamps they are never allowed a splurge if afforable?
....Im just not getting how anyone can think its any different!!??.....
You COMPLETELY missed the point of what I was saying. I was just saying that cake is not a right...not for someone on public assistance, and not for Bill Gates. I made no comment about my beliefs of what should be purchased with public assistance or by someone on public assistance. I simply stated that cake is not "a right." I do not have a right to cake. My son does not have a right to cake. If I can make or buy a cake for us, that's great. But we don't have a RIGHT to cake. Should you and your family be able to order pizza? It doesn't bother me one bit, whether you are on assistance or not. If you can pay for it, go for it. It's just the way it was phrased that these items are "a right" that I took issue with.
I really think every child should have a birthday cake, poor family or not. It's not the child's fault the parents are having a rough time of it. A child is a child and a birthday is a birthday, and should be special for them...storebought cake or homemade. Don't punish the child, they have no choice or say in the situation. Is it a right? No, but there are lots of things that are special and aren't rights.
I really think every child should have a birthday cake, poor family or not. It's not the child's fault the parents are having a rough time of it. A child is a child and a birthday is a birthday, and should be special for them...storebought cake or homemade. Don't punish the child, they have no choice or say in the situation. Is it a right? No, but there are lots of things that are special and aren't rights.
I definitely don't think there is anything wrong with buying a birthday cake using gov't assistance, and I agree with your above idea in theory -- the problem is, if the parents truly can't afford to buy a cake or a mix, where does the free cake come from?
I say this as someone who had a couple of birthdays without a cake or party growing up (because we couldn't afford it), but my parents still did things to make the day special for me. I don't think I even knew that something was "missing"!
I say this as someone who had a couple of birthdays without a cake or party growing up (because we couldn't afford it), but my parents still did things to make the day special for me. I don't think I even knew that something was "missing"!
In our house, the birthday person got to pick what we had for dinner. That was usually more fun and important to us than whatever the cake happened to be.
You know, after reading more then half the pages of this I think the one thing that offends me the most is how self-righteous some of you are about 'scraping thru the hard times NEVER taking assistance!' 
As if you not only deserve a medal for NOT accepting help but, in a sense, shaming those who have had to do so, regardless of their situation..... unfortunately, not everyone is able to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads without taking some help ~ they don't have that 'choice'. 
In my life, I have been up and I have been down. I went from being the one who was donating to the 'giving tree' in the mall at Christmas and being in awe when my friend was telling me that 'duh, she didn't have a savings account' because she had to spend every dime on food, bills, etc.... to becoming a single mother of 4 who gets free breakfast, lunch and afterschool daycare in addition to a box of food at Thanksgiving & donated gifts for the children this past Christmas!
As the Good Lord as my witness, I do not judge other people. I have realized with frightening regularity that the minute I take something for granted, something happens to me to make me open my eyes. It's like God does this to me to keep me appreciating what I have...and I would have it no other way, as I never want to become someone who forgets how lucky & blessed I am! Whether my cakes come from Costco or my own kitchen, whether our clothes come from a thrift store or a mall store & regardless of whether I pay for them with food stamps or an ATM card, the sooner we realize that we are all the same, the better off we will be! No one is 'better' then the other, regardless of money, religion, race, the kind of car you drive, the kind of party you throw or how many kids on honor roll you have.....
And as a God fearing parent who tries to do the right thing, I am ROTFLMAO at the comments about 'how flip we are about breaking the rules' or 'how easy it is to follow them!' These people who look down on people from the lofty height of their soapboxes..... pullllleeeeeeze! Give it a rest.
We are all flawed in some way or another... I find it impossible to believe there are not infractions made by EVERYONE at least once in our lives. Perhaps it makes you feel better to appear above reproach, but I for one ain't buyin' it! Give me an honest, down-to-earth person over a phony-bologna-nice-to-you-to-your-face-but-talkin'-trash-about-you-behind-your-back type of gal or guy anyday!
I was about to follow this up with one of those "I hope I didn't offend anyone, blah, blah, blah" lines but decided against it. Perhaps if I had read such niceties after the insults thrown around, I may have been inclined to follow suit but why bother? It's as if no one seems to understand that to disagree is a part of life....it's not the end of the world nor a reason for lines to be drawn.
Opinions vary.....doesn't mean we can't all agree to disagree. I saw lots of opinions I disagreed with and others will undoubtedly feel the same about mine......it's ok. For some reason, when I read the bible, I got the impression that God seemed to appreciate charity, good will, forgiveness, acceptance.....all that good stuff. I never got the impression he was waiting to pounce on the sinners with the judgements & punishment but rather encourage faith and helping others and then further encouraging those who had been doing it all along to forgive and accept them with open arms....the whole ' prodigal son & killing of the fatted calf' thing. Now granted, my bible days are olders then Methusela so I'm sure many of you can talk circles around me but I think I am getting the 'gist' of it right.
Sorry for the novel......
Amen, CakeDiva73 You hit the nail on the nose!!!
I think what this boils down to is cake a 'need' or a 'want'.
A 'need' is something you need to live on, like milk, bread, water, soap, etc.
A 'want' is something you want to have, but can live life without it, like toys, expensive TV's, etc.
I belive cake is a 'want', and if you want something you should find a way to pay for it.
I've grown up poor as a teenager, and it wasn't fun, BUT I learned to love life living simply. I don't want the big boat, and the big house, they would be nice but they are not a necessity.
My husband on the other hand, he grew up poor, but he wants the big house and the big boat.
Unfortunately, we've made some poor financial decisions because of his wants (and some of mine, I'll admit it), but we both realize that and are trying to square them away. Hence, I was very happy to downsize from a 3 bedroom rental home to a 2 bedroom apartment.
I don't think there is anything wrong with using the system when you need it. My mom went to the food pantries so we could eat- so in turn I donate to the food drives when possible.
Just last week we ran out of money in our checking account and had used everything up in our savings account, and I had no money to buy some milk for my mom to have in her house while she had my son overnight for his weekly visit (she lives on disablity from the government, so her budget is tight as well) so I gave her the last of my milk in the house so that my son could have it, and in turn my mom would then have it for herself to use.
Overall, everyone has done a good job giving their opinions in a respectful manner- thanks guys & gals! 
I think it is pretty disgusting how judgemental some of you are. (This loong rant is obviously aimed at the ones saying such vicious things on here)
I am on wic (which is basically like food stamps, only they tell you exactly what you can buy on each check) I am also one of those people you will see using a wic check, also paying for beer, and driving off in a new truck, and I am NOT about to apologize for it. 
My husband is enlisted in the Air Force 
, and guess what? We not only make so little that we qualify for it, they actually tell us it is considered one of our "benefits" for being paid at almost poverty levels. We cannot bring the kids to the pediatricians office on base without seeing wic signs everywhere asking us if we have "remembered this benefit." Politicians making 6 figures go to bed at night feeling good about not paying our troops anything, because that $25 check a week makes up for it in their eyes. We qualify for this whether we use it or not. Don't tell me for a second if next year instead of raises your companies started offering gift cards to the grocery store that you would pass it up. Nope. It is one of our "benefits" that our employer, the government, offers us & I intend to use it. My husband works his a** off, our family makes so many sacrifices I couldn't begin to list them all, and I sure as heck am going to take any compensation they offer us.
The beer in my cart? Well I make trade offs every week. If I decide that we are going to have eggs for dinner one night and baked potatoes another night so that my husband and I can have a beer together on his one night a week off....why is that your business? The new truck? We drove a beater with no ac for years, making car payments to ourselves until we could buy our truck outright. I am proud of every single thing we have and not about to apologize to anybody for them. We make trade offs every day, and have never lived beyond our means.
You keep talking about how this is "your money" we are using. It is also ours. My husband pays taxes just like you do.
I can't believe that if any of you saw me shopping at the store you would be thinking all of these vicious things about my family you are saying here. We are not "abusing" anything. My children deserve the same things your children deserve. I am perfectly capable of good hygiene. These mean spirited comments are pathetic.
And I'm sure every one of you chastising the poster for buying her SILs foodstamps (which wasn't even the point she was making) have never broken a law It's pretty easy to pretend to be better than the rest of the world from behind a computer screen.....
I would just like to say, the reason I feel that many people get so worked up about public assistance wherever in the world we might be (I am in the UK) is because their is a fear....
We all walk a very fine line between being wealthy and not....
I for one was very lucky 18 months ago, my husband and I worked together, we had our own business and could support ourselves and 4 children in a manner that often embarrassed me.... over night things changed.... due to a bank error a busines bank loan was foreclosed.. this was Okay as we could still work to make it up.. however I then became really ill and was diagnosed with two chronic and incurable liver diseases... I was signed off work for two years but most probably for good.... we lost our business and our home and went from being relatively wealthy to managing on assistance. I have two autistic children and struggle daily. I am lucky to have loads of cake decorating equipment that was bought before the crisis...
I make cakes only for family and for gifts.... I am considering though making cakes for free, when I am good enough ( when I say free I mean at cost - as I can't afford to buy the ingredients for others) but I remember my mom once said " no matter how little you have, always try to spread a little happiness" If I can help another family who is poor and make them smile, then I will, I hope that if and when anything happens to me and I become really ill or worse, then someone will be there for my husband and children. I think that as humans we often judge others just because we are afraid of being in that situation, maybe we feel that if we put more distance between ourselves and a situation, then it won't affect us..... In the past, I worked as a nurse and midwife, I worked many many hours unpaid overtime, I was a stay at home mum when my kids were very tiny and I had to budget ... I could say that I could never envisage being in the situation I am in now, but it is the hand I have been dealt and one thing I know with absolute certainty is that their are really good people in the world, and really mean people, but we should never resume to 'know' why some people do something and why they do not.... Back to the original post we shouldn't presume to know anything about the situation that made the initial customer mention her food tokens.... We can only really comment on the initials poster not being able to make the requested cake for the proposed amount of money.... Anyway..... everyone chill out.... I love coming here and lookign at the posts that all you clever people have made and looking at your photos and gaining from your experience.. don't let the down side of human nature prevail.... this is one place that we can all be supportive of each other regardless of age, sex, colour, religon, financial staus or any of those other things that sometimes get in the way in the non virtual world!!!!
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