I have read all of the posts and I usually don't respond but this time I feel I have to. I was raised by a relative, my parents were not married and they did not want me. All the time my relative raised me I did not ever had a birthday cake, a party, or anything. Then I got married and I had 5 kids I bought my kids birthday cakes they had their parties, but then I was divorced, single with 5 kids, working, I had the house payment, bills, kids to raise, I could not afford the cakes I used to buy, so I decided I would bake and decorate their cakes, mind you they were NOTHING like I bought at the stores/bakeries but the point is I had to try. I did NOT want my children to go with-out like I had to. Mind you, you may think what's the big deal not getting a cake, presents, party, well to a child it is a big deal. So yes I tried, the kids loved them even if they weren't store bought. They never complained as a matter of fact they told me that my cakes were better than the store/bakeries. They hated how sweet the icing was from the bought cakes. I am self taught and even thou I am not as good as I wished I was, and nothing like the decorators on this board,(you guys are amazing decorators) I still make my kids cakes (they will not eat a cake bought from a store/bakery). I have 10 grandchildren and two great grandchildren I bake and decorate all of their cakes. Some of the grandchildren do not want parties but they still want grandma to bake their b/d cakes. So I can see someone wanting to do something extra for their children or for someone else. I have on many occassions made cakes free just so that person will have a day that they can remember (hopefully good memories). Then I can also see the other side of the discussion I was in the grocery store one day and the lady in front of me had a Links Card, she had soda, chips, junk food and 5 bottles of wine (yes wine) and the lady paid for her purchase with a Links Card, and the cashier did NOT take any MONEY from her for the 5 bottles of wine. So she got 5 bottles of wine on the Links Card. So in this case if she can't afford to pay for her groceries then why buy all of the junk food and the wine. She had 7 children with her she is taking food out of the childrens mouth to buy wine. I know some people will think it's none of my business and maybe so I just wanted to note that I can see both sides of the fence. We will always have people that will take advantage of the system but hopefully most of the people will not. One last note I have a daughter that works and she kept driving by this homeless person it bothered her so much that one day on her lunch hour she went out and bought blankets, a pillow, food, and other items and took them to him. I guess my point is that we need to help people out sometimes. Sorry for the long post and I hope I have NOT offended anyone that is NOT my intention.
I want to thank the OP for her comments to me about speaking my mind and letting my comments be heard.
I also want to thank Twinsline. You said in better words what I was trying to say lol.
I never wish ill things to anyone, because I believe in Karma. So with that said I will add that Karma is a ***** and it will reer it's ugly head your way one day. If you put down someone because of their current situation not knowing what they had before you saw them swiping that food stamps card in the store.... you're no better then the dirt on the pavement I just stepped in to get into the store.
I drive a piece of crap car that is falling apart. My uncle GAVE me the car because we didn't have one at all. My husband walked 10 miles ONE way to work every single day while I stayed home with our infant daughter. He busted his ass every single day of his life for the last 20 years since he was 16. The little bit of food stamps we received was earned. Earned by me when I worked and paid my taxes, earned by my parents who have worked since they were both 16 yrs old and earned by my husband who has worked since he was 15 years old. And also earned by everyone else in my family who has worked. You all have no idea why anyone is on FS or any form of government assistance. And I bet anything any one of you that's up on your high horse bragging about never being on the system because you have it made blah blah blah I bet anything! if something were to happen tomorrow and you were to lose that cushy job or your husband lose his cushy job you'd be strapped and end up on government assistance in one way or another just to get by because Jobs in the US are few and far between. You can't sit here and yell at me and tell me "no I would never go on assistance" because you don't know what you'd do until you were presented with that situtation of not knowing where the next meal was coming from or knowing how the hell you were going to pay the electric bill AND the rent for the month.
Not all of us are priveledged enough to be able to save up for the worst happening, most people in the US are living pay check to pay check. My parents whom have ALWAYS been very comfortable are now living pay check to pay check which is actually Social Security check to SS Check each month because dad is 72 yrs old and was forced to finally retire. Mom still works and pays her part of the bills but for some reason they have it all set up and split things up to make it easier on each other. Anyway they are falling on hard times and I wouldn't beat them with a stick if she told me to teach her how to use the food stamps card because they were finally approved because she was fired or her company went under. There was a time years ago many years ago my mom got fired from her great paying job. She went on unemployment, looked for another job, did a few temp jobs, took on jobs she hated, and never walked near social services, just to pay her half of the bills. Dad worked more hours to help take up the slack and they made it thru it because she found a great paying job. Now she spends her money like it's never ending... I have no right to tell her not to because she's earned it.
What I don't understand here is you say it's YOUR tax dollars going into her food stamps account each month. Did you ever think maybe that person you're seeing in the grocery store with that card is also employeed? Maybe they are working hard and just don't make enough to support their family in full and need a little help from the government. Which in turn states very plainly they are paying for their groceries with their own money because they are in fact going to work every single day paying taxes in to the government just so they can be eligiable for $61.~ a month food stamps! just because that little bit of money may help that family be able to get some fresh meat from the meat department instead of having to eat box foods every single night of their life.
Until you have walked a mile or 10 in their shoes keep your snotty stuck up comments to yourself. You are no better then I am just because you own your house or are buying your house and have a nice car. I have a nice car that I can not afford to get on the road right now because the government charges so blessed much in taxes and other fees that we just can't possibly pay the rent, utilities, and food bill and add in the cost of putting another vehicle on the road right now. You are no better then the person infront of you using that food stamps card and one day you'll see that when Karma kicks your ass back down off your horse and shows you that real honest to goodness people do fall on hard times.
Very well said twinsline7.
I usually don't like to get in on these threads but this one hit a little to close to home for me! At times working two or three jobs at a time so I would not have to be on assistance there was a time that I needed the help because of unforeseen circumstances. I did not like having to tell my child that he could not have a birthday cake for his birthday, so I went to my pantry and made one. If you are on assistance and you do not have the necessary ingredients to make one, there is a problem. Most of what is in a cake should be a staple in your pantry. That was one of the reasons I learned to decorate. I might not be as good as some of you but my child surely appreciated it. Why can't she learn to do this??? I know that she was asking for a baby shower cake and we do not know whom it is for. It could be for her child. What does that matter? If she cannot afford it then why put her down for wanting to learn??? By her telling you that she is a single mom, and on food stamps she probably was looking for sympathy. I think you were more than accommodating in trying to help her stay within her budget. I sure hope that some of you that think she is wrong for wanting to inquire how much a cake was, are never in this type of situation because it really stinks. Just because a person has had to have assistance does not make them a bad person or that their priorities are screwed up.
Twinsy...couldn't have said it better myself.
And these kind of discussions are important...it gets other perspectives and raises awareness....thats a good thing!
Let me just say....we get all bent out of shape because we hear about people abusing the welfare system....It happens alot less than you may think. Most people on assistance use it when they need it to get on their feet.
You know what does happen? Corporate welfare!!!!! Why don't we get upset about that??? No, we get all hyped up about a woman on foodstamps wanting to buy a cake.
Before this goes on into Saturday morning, let me add that I wasn't judging this woman. I wanted to work with her, was fine with doing something inexpensive (for cash, not stamps). I would never turn anyone away because of simplicity of design, and I don't have a min order amount. Also, when she asked for things that were out of her range, I never told her that it was too expensive for her, I just gently told her the cost and explained why (hand sculpted gumpaste flowers, and lost of them, tons of time) and then suggested something else. I spent 20 minutes with this woman on the phone.
I don't think anyone here was being snotty about whether or not she should make her own cake. In fact, someone earlier on applauded that, because who knows? She could make a business from it, just like we all want to!
A lot of people here with customers have gotten frustrated because someone doesn't want to pay them, or has made the comment that they can make it themselves. There is nothing wrong with having pride in your work and getting frustrated when someone assumes that it is super simple and they can just pick it up in no time flat.
I happen to think most people can learn how to do this if they want to-so more power to them-but they can't do it on a Friday evening the night before a birthday party. I think that was all anyone was saying.
If that was all anyone was trying to say then why are we so far off topic? I truely believe that that is all you were trying to say but I think a lot of people have far more to say about it than that.
I appreciate a place where I can vent about my silly customers because I can't tell the customer they are silly and have them understand what I am talking about and not be offended. I also understand your frustration with spending time with someone who didn't appreciate the intricacy of your work and wasn't really able to afford to pay for it. I think you handled it very well. I suspect you handled it well because you remember what it was to have no clue how hard decorating and baking really is. I don't feel that a lot of the people here have any compassion or understanding for this woman.
Before this goes on into Saturday morning, let me add that I wasn't judging this woman. I wanted to work with her, was fine with doing something inexpensive (for cash, not stamps). I would never turn anyone away because of simplicity of design, and I don't have a min order amount. Also, when she asked for things that were out of her range, I never told her that it was too expensive for her, I just gently told her the cost and explained why (hand sculpted gumpaste flowers, and lost of them, tons of time) and then suggested something else. I spent 20 minutes with this woman on the phone.
I don't think anyone here was being snotty about whether or not she should make her own cake. In fact, someone earlier on applauded that, because who knows? She could make a business from it, just like we all want to!
A lot of people here with customers have gotten frustrated because someone doesn't want to pay them, or has made the comment that they can make it themselves. There is nothing wrong with having pride in your work and getting frustrated when someone assumes that it is super simple and they can just pick it up in no time flat.
I happen to think most people can learn how to do this if they want to-so more power to them-but they can't do it on a Friday evening the night before a birthday party. I think that was all anyone was saying.
If that was all anyone was trying to say then why are we so far off topic? I truely believe that that is all you were trying to say but I think a lot of people have far more to say about it than that.
I appreciate a place where I can vent about my silly customers because I can't tell the customer they are silly and have them understand what I am talking about and not be offended. I also understand your frustration with spending time with someone who didn't appreciate the intricacy of your work and wasn't really able to afford to pay for it. I think you handled it very well. I suspect you handled it well because you remember what it was to have no clue how hard decorating and baking really is. I don't feel that a lot of the people here have any compassion or understanding for this woman.
I didn't mean the WHOLE discussion, I meant the topic of page 6 where someone was mad that people suggested she make her own cake.
I didn't mean the WHOLE discussion, I meant the topic of page 6 where someone was mad that people suggested she make her own cake.
someone...me! 
Disgusted is a better word... And it doesnt just orginate in this thread...its in several threads by many....it seems to be a big defense around here.....the second they dont get the order because the customer is shocked at the price and says well maybe I can just make one instead.....it becomes a big joke.
dont get me wrong..Im not oblivious to fact it probably wont turn out....or that once they start getting necessary supplies to even get started they will realize having someone else do it for 50 is a LOT easier and cheaper......but I would not dare laugh at them for the attempt or thought of it! And I surely wouldn't lower them if they decided to take a grocery store route!
but what I shouldve done was take that rant out into another thread because the bigger issue in this thread is the hypocracy and judgmental comments about goverment aid which I think starts to get that way around page 2 
I am going to apologize because I did not mean for my post to turn it into what it did.
I said that because I am in the cake business and it is how I make my living and I have had people try to trade their food stamps with me for a designer cake (can we say illegal) and I have been told by assistance recipients that I should contact the state and become part of the program. It disgusts me.
You'd go with out food for your family for a $300 cake??? truely sad.
With that said...
I have been on assistance in the not to far past with the state. I did not become dependant on it, I used it as a suppliment when I didn't have enough. When it came time for the previus month allotment to expire I used it and took it to the local Food for Lane county program and donated it. There were people who needed what I had to share. Part of what little I had went to someone who needed it just as badly.
I have no issue with the ability to purchase a $20 sheet cake or bakery cupcakes from your local Safeway with their assistance money everyone even when on assistance should get a birthday cake it's a matter of self esteem and we all need that boost from time to time. I have issue with them coming to a cake designer/custom cake shop and trying to use it. That was what my snide remark was for.
I had my infant in my hand at the time and just kept it short because I didn't have the time to say more.
As for the government welfare system... It's pretty sad when I can buy packaged beef jerkey that is packaged with so many damn things you don't want to know about for $7 a package with maybe 8 or 9 strips inside but I can't purchase diapers and formula with it.
I have 2 friends on assistance right now.
One from the way she shops you would never know it. She buys smart with it and even her kids wouldn't realize she is on an assistance program because of it if they didn't already know it. She is using it as I did, when the money is gone and she needs food it's her back up. She is going to school at night while freinds/family watch the kids so she can better herself.
Another goes through the aisles screaming "you can't get that on these food stamps little Johnny!". She wears her stamps with pride. She works the system with anyone and everyone she can. She boasts on how when her youngest is about 8 or 9 she can find any man to get pregnant with so she can be guaranteed assistance for another 18 years. She will be on it for life if she can find a way. (she's not a friend in teh fact we hang out, she's more someone I know that I hate to see on caller ID.) Her older daughter just was removed to a safe house (thank God!) and she's not concerned with it, she's angry because while she goes through her 3 month of classes to get her back she won't be paid by the state for her welfare.
For those that need the system and utilize it's services I have no issue. It's when people abuse it or try to use it to their advantage is when I get hostile about it.
As for this woman... If all she had was $15 and she was my customer and I could tell she truely wanted a cake I would have done a 1/4 sheet cake with double layers of BC filling and a shell border, balloons, and a "congratulations mom and baby" on the top for that amount. I would have given her a cake to be proud of for the shower and was what 15 minutes of decorating time? I would have made it clear ina polite way that I can't continue to give her such a discount like this but that I could tell she was in a tough spot financially and that this was a one time deal.
"Wow Sheila you are getting a good deal on this. This cake usually costs everyone $30. I hope you realize I can't do this every time for you."
If she came back again asking for the discount I'd explain to her that I can't do it but if she wants to bring the ingredients over I could help her with baking and frosting it.
I'd sit her at my kitchen table and make her watch me bake the cake and make the frosting then put the cake and frosting on the table and hand her a spatula and tell her with a laugh to get frosting. From there I'd do my magic simple decorations and tell her to box it up and wish her well.
She would see how easy it is and I'd suggest in a VERY subtle way the Wilton class at Michael's to her, then tell her after she completes the classes that the local grocery store bakeries would love to hire her (they are always looking for decorators)
I would never make a person feel less than human for their circumstances (if I did that here I am truely sorry). I've been in those shoes and it was hard for my husband and I to accept we were a "welfare family". We swore it would make us a better people for it and not break us.
If she would have offered to trade for food stamps illegally though I would have declined and referred her back to a store bakery. I won't work with anyone who trys to do anything shady or under the table. It's not worth my business license and it's not worth my reputation.
Again I do apologize and can't apologize enough for those who were offended by my comment and I apologize for not explaining what I meant at the time.
Lesson learned, don't post when holding the baby! 
Going back to the original post, I think it's truly a matter of not WHAT the person who called said, but HOW you said it... If the Mom had started off the conversation with "I'm going through a rough time in life and my daughter's birthday is coming up but I don't know how to bake and I really want to have a personalized cake for her (sounding like there was a tear welling up), is there any way that you can help me out.." I'm sure that gal would have been in the original poster's kitchen with an apron and hair net learning the basics of baking 101 with a box mix for the occasion for the money she did have. Give a woman a cake she won't appreciate it more than an hour, Teach a woman to bake and she'll bake for life and you never know when that would be the turning point for her to consider getting a job at a local bakery because it was demystified for her that she really CAN do a job like that.
I know families that didn't have a pot to pee in (some of which, DID have an outhouse because a running toilet was a luxury).. You know, they never wanted a handout because they were happy with what they had and made due. When we had an extra deer from hunting season, they were happy to have meat for the next several months. They weren't afraid to load up the kids to come over and help out for a day to have some extra $$ on the side after working their 60 hours that week already to pay their house payment.
On the flip side, like the PP, I have experienced a lot of people who abuse the welfare system back home when I worked in an area known for migrants in the summer. OMG, those people knew how to work the system. Not casting all migrants that way, but it was excessive. They'd come into town with their soup'd up crew-cab long box new pickups with the doulies in the back, and the first stop they'd make is to apply for food stamps and subsidized housing (and get both). What's wrong with this picture???
Again, it's how she asked, not WHAT she asked...
.....If she came back again asking for the discount I'd explain to her that I can't do it but if she wants to bring the ingredients over I could help her with baking and frosting it.
I'd sit her at my kitchen table and make her watch me bake the cake and make the frosting then put the cake and frosting on the table and hand her a spatula and tell her with a laugh to get frosting. From there I'd do my magic simple decorations and tell her to box it up and wish her well.
She would see how easy it is and I'd suggest in a VERY subtle way the Wilton class at Michael's to her, then tell her after she completes the classes that the local grocery store bakeries would love to hire her (they are always looking for decorators) ......
Very well said.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetimeAuthor unknown
I think for just as many people that really need assistance, there are others that abuse it. It's sad, but it's going to happen. We can complain about how our tax dollars are used, but I'm not sure it will do much good. I'm sure the people on Capital Hill will say there are more pressing matters. I think more money should be devoted to health care. And I agree, there should be more restrictions on what you can and cannot buy with food stamps. I have no problems with using them for name brand items, but when people use them for lobster and crab legs, that's when I (and most people) do.
I had some woman buy cigarettes once with the cash portion of her benefits card. She told me when I asked her what kind (100s or regular or whatever it was) that they weren't even for her. Michigan gives cash benefits too (presumably for the paper goods), but you can use those for prepared foods and smokes and stuff. I don't think that's right.
I do believe that kids are entitled to a birthday cake and well, some parents just can't bake. They'd burn the crap out of that cake if they tried to make it themselves. So let them buy a cake. It doesn't need to be extravagant, just not overcooked lol.
PS - DH and I were on food stamps once - $130/mo. The job market where we were was horrible - DH was working at McDonald's. Neither one of us could get a full-time job. We never had milk and we occasionally had meat. It was just too expensive. We'd buy a $5 tube of ground beef and some cheap chicken breasts and try to make that last the month. We ate a lot of pasta though. Pasta's cheap. We moved away from there and we've been doing fine ever since. There are still things we don't buy because we can't afford it, but we have food on the table and the bills are caught up. It's just how life works.
Someone earlier asked how she talked about the food stamps....
I told her $2.00 a serving for a 2 tiered fondant cake that served 32, so 64 total. She was a bit indignant, chuckled, and said "let me tell you what type of budget I'm working with".
So, she wasn't rude, but it definately wasn't a I-really-need-a-nice-cake-please-work-with-me story, it was more of a I-want-a-good-deal-on-this-cake story.
I have just stumbled across this site, looking for instructions on stacking cakes, and this topic has really struck a chord with me. Some of your stories have really moved me and made me realise how very lucky I am.
I'm from the UK and we don't have food stamps but the government does give payments to unemployed, single parent families and families on low incomes. I think that it is only right and proper that people who need it are given extra help from time to time but I don't think we really notice or comment to others about the people who don't abuse the system. People who abuse the system frustrate us because we work hard for our families (and to 'better') ourselves so it's hard to see others being 'given' what we work so hard for. I genuinely think that the people abusing the system are in the minority it's just commented on more because it is so noticeable. Just take a look at the news - bad news is deemed more interesting than good! I work in the town centre and there is a taxi rank outside my window - I see some people coming into town in a taxi, cashing their giros (this is their benefit check), then going back home in a taxi. The check might be for £40-£80 and a taxi there and back will cost about £10 (the bus would be around £1-£2 but people are too lazy to walk 200yards to the bus stop). This is a big % of the money they have been given to help in times of financial difficulties. I do sometimes think that if money is not earned through hard work it can be hard to see the value in it.
I also think one of the biggest problems today is that we are becoming more materialistic, nowadays most people think washing machines, microwaves, TV's etc are nessesary items yet to my Grandma they were luxuries. Come to think of it my 16 yr old sees his computer, mobile and stereo as neccesities whereas I think he is lucky to have them!
I haven't had anywhere near as hard a life as many of you, we certainly weren't poor, yet we didn't have as many material possessions as some of the other children at my school. I'm going to sound really old now (I'm only 38 though - honest) I have never in my life had a bought cake for my birthday (in fact I never had bought cake until I left home!). Not only did my mother bake all our Birthday cakes, my sister and I would help her. The cakes would usually be a simple chocolate or coffee cake (I had a very grown up pallette as a child!) covered in chocolate or icing and decorated with sprinkles and sweeties but they were the best in the world because we made them! Parties would consist of party games organised by dad followed by a teaparty made by mum and grandma. As a child I can remember wishing I had the latest Nike trainers (or whatever the fad was at the time) but as an adult I remember being safe and warm, loved and cherished by my parents. I didn't have all the latest toys and gadgets but I spent time with my parents learning how to cook, garden and do housework!
In my opinion this is where a lot of the problems in society today come from. Children have so many things it can be hard to appreciate them. Also, we don't seem to be teaching our kids the skills they need to run a household! My earliest memories are of helping dad in the garden (he grew his own vegetables) or mum in the kitchen or planning menus for the week or doing the housework. I am amazed when work collegues say they cannot cook (I'm a firm believer that if you can read you can cook - Delia Smith books 1,2,3 
) I am also amazed by how much ready packaged meals cost and don't think it is entirely coincidental that the ones who say they can't cook are also the ones pleading poverty!
Anyway, sorry if I've rambled a bit - it's past my bedtime I think what I'm trying to say is that:-
1) I think everyone is entitled to a birthday cake on their birthday and a huge custom made cake is fantastic but if there is no money for one a homebaked cake is just as wonderful and special (the first cake my son made me was burned but it was the best cake ever to me!).
2) As a society I think we have a moral duty to help out people less fortunate than ourselves but I think a small minority do take advantage.
3) I think that a lot of people haven't got the key skills needed to look after themselves or their families (as can be seen by going without food for a month for a cake) and maybe it's just a case of educating them?
4) People abusing the system are in the minority.
One thing I am sure about is that there is no easy answer. I also think that most of us can look back on the choices we have made and see where maybe we could have chosen differently - I know there are a few things I would do deffinately do differently - still I suppose that's the fun of growing up!
Cakepro, I am sorry you quit the thread before I had a chance to say you are the possitive example why we need these programs. This is what they were designed for. I am so glad it was in place when you needed it.
I'm sure your husbands hard work helped contribute taxes to help fund this program. Many who abuse the system never contribute.
Hugs, and wishing you well being in the future.
Now...this is getting funny.
It is soooooo illegal to buy food stamps from someone.
I went ten mph over the speed limit today too...AND?
Now...this is getting funny.
It is soooooo illegal to buy food stamps from someone.
I went ten mph over the speed limit today too...AND?
Well, first let me say that I'm glad that you didn't HURT anyone while doing it! You should be very PROUD of yourself--just like the person
who buys the foodstamps and doesn't get caught--NOT 
But, if you'd been caught you'd have gotten a ticket, possibly points, maybe lost your license if you've been caught before, may have increased your insurance premiums with another ticket, provided a bad example for your kids if that 10mph was in any way reckless--like in a residential zone...........so ??????????????
Buying foodstamps has resulted in some stiff, ugly penalties for those stupid enough to do it. Why bother? It's one of those not so "victimless" crimes because it's your kind of cavalier, nobody-really-gets-hurt-if-nobody-gets-caught attitude that can lead to cuts and increased costs in these programs--and therefore great harm to those who really need them and depend on them.
Gawd, is it really so hard to follow the rules 
Rae
back when i was a teen my mom, stepdad and i were on assistance of sorts and i made her a cake; you know the kind that gets left in the pan lol.. i frosted it and for some reason decided to form a couple dinosaurs on it- mom loved purple and green and dinosaurs..
now keep in mind i did all this with only the tip of a butterknife. No i dont havea pic; how i wish i did as this was the start of my interest in decorating cakes.
i'd started seeing cakes and thinking "there's got to be something more we can do with this"... and it went from there.
heck mom thought it was the best cake she'd ever had- not just cause i was her daughter but i dont think she'd ever had a cake made for her like that. i still remember 16 years later quite clearly how much she loved it.
I forgot to mention it was for their anniversary and the cake was from a mix- the frosting from a tub! lol - not that this has any reflection just this was the occasion lol.. heck back then i never knew they had shaped pans beyond round square and cookie sheets lol.
Now...this is getting funny.
It is soooooo illegal to buy food stamps from someone.
I went ten mph over the speed limit today too...AND?
Wow.... 
I'm sorry you feel so flippant about the law. I don't know if you have children or not, but please think this attitude over. Children absolutely learn by the example we set. Ten mph is considerable especially in a school zone or where there is a lot of foot traffic.
I'm truly saddened by your response.
back when i was a teen my mom, stepdad and i were on assistance of sorts and i made her a cake; you know the kind that gets left in the pan lol.. i frosted it and for some reason decided to form a couple dinosaurs on it- mom loved purple and green and dinosaurs..
now keep in mind i did all this with only the tip of a butterknife. No i dont havea pic; how i wish i did as this was the start of my interest in decorating cakes.
i'd started seeing cakes and thinking "there's got to be something more we can do with this"... and it went from there.
heck mom thought it was the best cake she'd ever had- not just cause i was her daughter but i dont think she'd ever had a cake made for her like that. i still remember 16 years later quite clearly how much she loved it.
I forgot to mention it was for their anniversary and the cake was from a mix- the frosting from a tub! lol - not that this has any reflection just this was the occasion lol.. heck back then i never knew they had shaped pans beyond round square and cookie sheets lol.
Gen, you wrapped this whole discussion up beautifully. I know your mom still holds that cake fondly in her heart. As a mom myself, there is nothing that means more to me than something my kids did from the heart. Lean times can produce the sweetest memories. I'm sniffing and teary eyed relating to your memory of the dinosaur cake!
...and I wish you had a picture of that cake too!
I read alot of stuff here about taking advantage of the system and illegal activity.
What about some of you who are doing cakes out of your home? Is it all legal? Are you all paying your taxes to the IRS?
Let me say that I'm not against home baking legal or not, just bringing up a point. We can't always pick and choose which laws we want to follow or have others follow.
This thread started out with the information that a customer had wanted an expensive cake to give as a gift but she only had $15. to spend on it. The customer went on to say she was on a limited budget as she was a single mom and on food stamps. It appeared she was implying that because of that she should be able to get the custom cake for less.
The discussion was that a lot of people on food stamps get the idea they are receiving food for free and that other people should also give them a break on what they pay for an item.
The conversation then turned to how the food stamp program was abused. Not abused by everyone by any means. Concern was expressed as to how this abuse could be curbed. A lot of tax payers, myself included, certainly have no problem with a government program helping those who need a helping hand. It is the ones who try to cheat and scam on the program, using our tax dollars, which is upsetting.
We were not trying to discuss everything that is illegal to do. We were talking about buying items which we really could not afford and using government issued food stamps to pay for it.
Some members had very good ideas on this subject as to how they could make their own cakes, filled with love, and that their families would be very happy with it.
Not sure how we got to a confession thread with everyone telling all of the illegal things they have done, and trying to see who has commited the most illegal acts.
I read alot of stuff here about taking advantage of the system and illegal activity.
What about some of you who are doing cakes out of your home? Is it all legal? Are you all paying your taxes to the IRS?
Let me say that I'm not against home baking legal or not, just bringing up a point. We can't always pick and choose which laws we want to follow or have others follow.
I believe that fits into the category and phrasing earlier in the post about being sick and tired of paying taxes so someone can sit on their butt abusing the system portion of the discussion... As for legalities... the kitchen I use for my public and sale cakes is completely licensed by the DOA and DHS.. It's an absolute PITA but yes, completely legal and pay enough in taxes to supply government workers with a far better life than I am able to afford.
I agree it's not a choice on which laws we want to follow, it's a matter of the difference in people who are using the system to help pick them up in a time of legitimate need versus people like DH's cousin who know how to abuse the system in 3-million ways (her latest is that she signs up to take credits at a state university, gets approved for her grant money, shows up to three classes then drops all of the classes), then she's a master at staying on welfare and claiming injuries making her unable to work and then sits around watching TV all day in her subsidized apartment with absolutely NO desire to get off her bottom and work ANY sort of a job yet we're all stuck paying the bill for her.
Wow! i've been reading this forum off and on the last few days and i have to say, some of ya'll can be really mean to people you don't know. If you live in a glass house, maybe you shouldn't throw stones. Also, someone important once said "those of you without sin, cast the first stone". oh yah, it was Jesus. See you in church tomorrow morning.
Seems to me that people have a tendency to stick their noses in others' business without being asked....such as being behind someone in the grocery and being snobish about what those folks have in their cart. If you are REALLY concerned about other children and their nutrition, maybe you should contact your local job and family (welfare dept.) about volunteering your services for instructing women on meal planning and nutrition, budgeting household, ect.
I grew up on the poor side of town, my folks were children thru the depression, my Dad had to leave school at age 15 to work in the Government CCC Camp to help support his family, served our country in WW2 and received the Purple Heart, both my parents were "blue collar" workers all their lives...I have worked all my life...with that said, my folks never turned away anyone who was hungry, and there were what we called tramps who would come to our door and ask for food, Mom always gave them a handout even though we might be a little short ourselves. I still hold to that example, share what we have, don't judge someone on appearance, offer your skills to teach, and I just bet it will come back to you...ten fold. For those that are very hard nosed about the food stamp/working class poor issue, maybe you could use a little more compassion in your life.
One last thing, just because someone only has 15.00 to spend, doesn't necessarily make them a cheapskate...pardon me, but I hate that word.
I read alot of stuff here about taking advantage of the system and illegal activity.
What about some of you who are doing cakes out of your home? Is it all legal? Are you all paying your taxes to the IRS?
Let me say that I'm not against home baking legal or not, just bringing up a point. We can't always pick and choose which laws we want to follow or have others follow.
That's a dead horse that's been beaten over and over.
I have read post here & there on this thread. For the love of God let it go! Is the whole thing sad about this poor woman? Yes. Does it affect your live directly?Not really. Just thank God you are not in her situation & pray for her for things to get better.
Just my 2 cents on the whole thing
Summer, When I have a customer that is shocked by prices I also take the time to tell them what is involved and the expense and time it takes to make a flower. The cakes I sell I only use the best ingredients and that's not cheap. This helps them understand why my cakes may cost more than the local grocery store.
Growing up we didn't celebrate holidays or birthdays. I didn't even know when my family members birthdays were. I never really thought about it growing up.
When my children had birthdays we were doing more than fine financially. I wasn't going to have children I couldn't afford. I still made their cakes I always thought that it meant more because I used my time and added love.
Donna, to add to your post I find it interesting that people on Gov't aid not only own computers but pay the monthly fee for the internet. Let's not forget cable TV and cell phones. When I lost a job and things were tight those were the first things to go.
In refereance:
Seems to me that people have a tendency to stick their noses in others' business without being asked....such as being behind someone in the grocery and being snobish about what those folks have in their cart
I don't agree that it is snobish to notice that someone on welfare is paying for wine with food stamps. It's bothers tax payers because this is not what the system was designed for. Some may feel that since it is their hard tax monies that is providing the food stamps it's a slap in the face.
I think it would be a wonderful idea to invite someone in to watch as you made the cake so they could learn. As one member told of making all her family cakes, perhaps this woman would do the same.
I have to admit when I have a customer that I know can't afford much I throw in a lot of extras so their event will be extra special. Most of the time I make zip on a cake but it's ok.
Maybe what happen here is that gov't aid is a touchy subject because of the abuse. Just watch Judge Judy. And it kind of set things in motion because the woman wanted to use food stamps for a decorated cake. If you really stop to think about it a $15 cake is not really a big deal it just made people think about the system in general not so much this woman. People do know how to work the system I have seen many do it.
I remember when social workers would go into Mother's who were on aid homes and if they saw a man's razor, clothing they would cut them off. If a man lived there then they could support the family or he had no business living there. Could you see the uproar that would cause today. There was a lot more control back then. Now they just don't have the staff.
This makes me think of a family member that came from generations of welfare families. That was their way of life. I could see her wanting to buy a decorated cake not even thinking anything about it. She lives her life in the style most of us live. She doesn't see anything wrong with it or anything she does or buys because she grew up that way.
I had a woman where I worked that worked part-time because that's all we had available at the time. She came in to give her notice because the state (MI) was cutting her assistance off because she was working. By not working she could get aid. But, if she wanted to continue at her job it wasn't enough to take care of her family. With great regret she had to leave.
Our state does little to help - they could easily let these Mothers work, perhaps work their way to a better job by suppplementing their income and help with childcare. Teach them to help themselves. I would be very happy to see tax dollars go to a program like that.
Ok, this really isn't having anything to do with the OP but this subject hits too close to home for me, as I see it is for some of you. A couple years back my husband and I went on temporary assistance (which lasts for 3 months, and for food only). My father in law had an accident and needed 24/7 care for the rest of his life, which was estimated that he would have about a year. My husband and I both quit our jobs to take care of him and we were going to be in a caregivers program, which essentially makes us paid caregivers (paid by my father in law). While we were doing the paperwork on this program we needed help getting through. On one trip to the grocery store, my husband was checking out and someone behind him had the nerve to scoff at him and turned to her husband and said "POOR PEOPLE". He came home and cried for hours because here he is, his father dying, with no family left (he was only 30 at the time) and she's making him feel bad for doing the right thing? This was shortly before Thanksgiving, and by the first week of December his dad was back in the hospital. We spent Christmas eating ramen noodles and praying that the phone wouldn't ring with more bad news on his dad. He died 5 weeks later. It makes me wonder if that woman had known how much pain she inflicted with her words and if she would have said them differently had she known our circumstances? Would she rather of had us put his dad in a nursing home, or better yet, is that what she someday wishes her children to do to her?
My husband and I are in a different place now, we just bought a 3 family home so we will always have a source of income, and we are lucky enough to have not needed to get a mortgage for it. That little bit of government help got us through the darkest time of our marriage so far, and I'm thankful it was there. We paid so much in taxes this year, so I get what some of you are saying about the "abusers". On the flip side, we donate to charities all the time, because somewhere out there, there's a young couple who might really need that help, or a single mother trying to raise her children after getting beaten by her husband for years on end. No one really knows why a person is in the situation they're in and its unfair to lump them in together. I'd also like to point out as someone said earlier, food stamps are for food, not paper goods. So I have a little challenge for all of the people on here who feel that the "abusers" are getting their tax dollars unjustly. Next time you use the restroom, only use the cheap one-ply toilet paper, and then limit yourself to one square. I personally couldn't do this, but I know people who have, to make it last. As for everyone who's family was too proud to take assistance, I agree that working for what you buy is very very rewarding, but also, there are a lot of homeless people on the street who are dying every single day because they are too proud to go to a homeless shelter. Pride will only get you so far when you are at rock bottom.
As far as people having the internet while on assistance, who's to say that they are the ones that pay for it? I have AOL, and with AOL, you can have multiple screen names and multiple people can connect at the same time for no extra cost, so I gave my niece a screen name and my sister a screen name. Guess what, my sister is on assistance! I also bought my niece a playstation 2. I really hate that a person would judge my sister for the things I BUY WITH MY MONEY for her children. Not to mention, my sister should be at home with her autistic son, but instead, she's working a terrible job that will work around her schedule so she can get him off to school and such. My niece is stuck being a secondary caregiver, so why shouldn't I give her nice gifts. Does she not deserve them??? She didn't ask for this life. My sister provides them with necessary things, like food, heat, a place to live. They don't have cable, they don't have expensive clothes. My husband and I gave my niece $100 for her birthday, and she spent it on school clothes. They are responsible people and it bothers me to think there's people out there thinking they don't deserve the things they have.
There's a lot of good and bad in the welfare system and congress has noticed. I'm surprised it wasn't mentioned here, but recently a few members of congress and other cabinets participated in a "food stamp challenge" to see how its like to live on this type of budget. You guys should google it. here's a link to a participants blog.
http://foodstampchallenge.typepad.com/
I hope I didn't offend you guys, I was just so hurt to read some of the things being said, and then again, I can relate to so many of you. Before I am flamed to death, know that my heart was in the right place, but its 5am and I haven't been to bed yet. Be gentle
Irelandshs, thanks for the link to the food stamp challenge. That has been interesting reading. I am on the board of directors of our local food pantry and people are just not aware of how many hungry people live right under our noses. For those abusing the system, shame on them. It brings me to tears sometimes seeing some of the older clients we have swallowing their pride to ask for help. Some do without because they can't swallow their pride to ask for help.
I think we all have gotten somewhat off of the subject of the original post and I apologize for my part in that but seems that everyone needed to get their feelings expressed.
Diane
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