The "family" title never, EVER gives someone the right to abuse another person. Ever. If you need to tell her to her face that what she did was wrong - do it, but do it calmly. People have obviously allowed her to get away with this behavior (out of fear or whatever) for far too long.

Well, constantly "keeping the peace" while being a real victim of someone is called enabling.
It allows the victimizer to continue to be rewarded, albeit intermittently, for their bad behavior as everyone works double time to sidestep the issues and bombs that the troublemaker continually lobs....

In psychology, intermittent reinforcement is THE BEST TYPE OF REINFORCEMENT. It works better than being reinforced every time......It keeps the subjecty TRYING and trying and trying. They know the "lever" will pay off--sometime.

So she's winning, at least some of the time, and you're miserable having to deal with her all of the time.....how is this fair in any world order?????

Me, I tell "her family" members that I'm done. No more dealings at all. No sidestepping, no direct contact. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Refer to blood relative in all cases: "Honey, Jill called. Call her back. I won't talk to her." Honey, Jill is at the door. Better open it. I'm outta here. I can't speak to that, Jill, you'll have to ask Mr.Cabe. Mr.Cabe isn't home. I'll have him get back to you........

Rae

I'm just wondering if the scam went further. Did the bride pay "Jill" for the cake? If so, was it more than the $10 that "Jill" paid you for the cake. This may not have been a $30 scam...It may have been a $130 or even more scam. I've been following this all day...this is just my conclusion.

Does she have a drug problem by any chance? Addicts will do anything for a few bucks. A lot of scammers have some kind of addiction issue- drugs or alcohol.

She has been this way as long as I have been in the family. Always "looking for a deal", that's what she calls it.

I already deleted her out of my phone, and I don't accept her calls. If she calls on my husband phone, I won't answer it, and I won't take the phone if she calls him. I'm done. I've had no contact with her since, nor will I have contact with her in the future. I refuse to be the person she ripped off for a "deal".

She is in my opinion a drug addict, because she takes too many prescription drugs. She has so many doctors that all the doctors don't know the stuff she is getting from other doctors. She pays for most of her stuff by other cons she pulls. I think they are cons anyway. No, no more contact with this person. She is not worth my time.

I wouldn't give a rats a$$ who's relative she is I'd unload on her. If it's DH's relative you can bet you're booty he'd be taking care of the situation. There's no excuse for people like that and I wouldn't be their stepping stone.

What exactly does a 2" top tier look like?? A tall skinny shot glass?

Weirdest.thread.ever.

Oh cool. I don't know why I automatically thought of round tiers.

Cabecakes, I just had a look at your photos. It is incredibly generous of you to provide these at cost; I am never going to be as kind-hearted as you I guess! The time that goes into baking and decorating is a factor that few outside the industry understand, but I hope you will consider raising your prices to compensate yourself to some degree.

As for Jill, not only would I never bake another cake for her, I'd avoid her like the plague!!

I really doubt that the cake from AUGUST was the cake that she was discussing these issues about now, in May. It definitely probably looked similar, i.e. being a small square 4 tier stacked cake--just not the same one, as she mentions on the description of that one, that she had to use a fan to keep it from melting. Further, from the tone of the post, this seemed like a "freshly inflicted" slap in the face from her DH's deplorable relative.
To the OP, I want to say that I admire you. You knew this woman's "MO" and went above and beyond anyway--giving her the benefit of the doubt as well as giving her the opportunity to do the right thing with you, You are definitely the bigger person in this situation. From where I stand, you are and would continue to be well within your rights to tell her to go _____ herself were she to ever actually grow a pair large enough to approach you EVER again for ANYthing, much less a cake!!
I applaud you for keeping your cool and remaining the bigger person even when the truth about her actions were revealed. Good for you!!

Since this is DH side of the family, what has he to say about this deceitful b*tch? He's not happy when you take out of your household budget to make free cakes...how does he feel about his own family trying to steal from him?

Sweetie, you are a victim only if you allow yourself to be. I vote for 'slap the bit#ch'... if only with words.

You're right, of course Foxicakes...that may not be the cake. I have no idea if it is or not, and I didn't even look at the date on it. Somebody was wondering how a 2" tier would look, so I peeked through the OP's photos and spotted that one, which has the same tier sizes as mentioned in this thread. Either way, it gives an idea of what those sizes might look like.

Why not send Ms. Deceitful an "invoice" for $10, and a little letter stating that the bride thanked you for the wonderful cake you had made when you saw her at nieces wedding. Leave it at that...this way you are calling her out on her behavior, I wouldn't expect the $10, but I think that would be a "calm" way to do a little hand slap.