How Do You Tell Someone You Won't Bring A Cake To A Potluck?
Decorating By keyshia Updated 13 Aug 2007 , 4:51am by keyshia
I've had people call me on Friday afternoon for a Saturday party, too...I just laugh for a little bit, and then say, "Oh--you're serious??"
Really, it's easier to just say "I'm so busy this weekend. I can bring a cake or a salad, or whatever you like, if you don't mind me stopping at the local XYZ Grocery store on my way to the party to pick it up!"
Been there done that. My friends and relatives are always asking if I would do cakes (free). Even wedding cakes, I have been asked, oh will you do so & so's wedding cake (with no mention of payment) and me being one who has a hard time saying NO (except to my kids) will do the cake and still give them a 100.00 bill in their card. I have done cakes that I would normally charge 800. - 900.00, for free. It's like they expect it. Even friends of my friends and friends of my relatives asks for free cakes. I am hoping that one day I will learn to say NO!!!!, but I will do it for such & such cost. So I would be the wrong person to give advice but I totally know where you are coming from.
I was assigned a cake for 100 moms, plus hubby/so and children. I was like, ummm....nope! LOL
It would have been a cake for over 300 people. I thought they had lost their minds.
I'm in huge agreement here with everyone, tell him you would love to have done it but you are booked solid! Tell him you'll have to assign your self something simpler like a salad because that's all you have time for.
I would go buy one at the grocery store! lol
I agree with this .
Few of my close friedns threw a surprise birthday party for and other friend that was a pot luck ,but you are right if you invite some one to a party at least birthday party guest only bring gifts.
Not to defend him but really, he was probably just 100% clueless. He just figured: you do cakes all the time, it's probably just a "simple" thing for you to do, you just whip em right out. He's probably never seen what goes into baking and decorating a cake beyond a mixing bowl, three eggs, a cup of oil and a box of DH (and a tub of frosting) LOL.
But clueless people don't get a "pass" - it's still outrageous!! I can't even believe he had the nerve to assign ANYONE any item w/talking to them first, much less the person who was assigned the centerpiece of the party (that would be you!) Sorry for having to go thru this, I sure hope at least your friend appreciated your kind efforts.
It's true though, unless you set some boundaries, you are always going to be known as the cake lady. Which is a compliment to you in your profession! But will lead people to continually, cluelessly try to take advantage of your talent.
I am hoping that one day I will learn to say NO!!!!, but I will do it for such & such cost.
You deserve to be paid for your work. Take another look at your talent! WOW! Remember...they will still LIKE you, even when they have to cough up the cash$$$$!
If they assigned you the cake, does it count as the gift? It stinks how people assume that it is nothing to just "bring" a cake, they don't realize the work and cost. I think if that happened to me, and I had the time, I would make that their gift. Just make sure the cake would be at the same price as what you planned to spend as a gift.
.... and me being one who has a hard time saying NO (except to my kids) will do the cake and still give them a 100.00 bill in their card. I have done cakes that I would normally charge 800. - 900.00, for free. It's like they expect it. Even friends of my friends and friends of my relatives asks for free cakes.
Of COURSE they expect it! What have you done to make them think otherwise?
You need to get over the not-able-to-say-no thing..... and fast!!!!
If you can't learn to do it for you ..... learn to do it for your kids. Do you want them to grow up not knowing how to say no to their friends ... who want them to start smoking, have a drink from daddy's liquor cabinet, or go someplace they know they are not permitted to go to? Just because they've watch mommy and learned that you "never" say no to your "friends"?
OMG!!! For a minute there I thought I started this post. At work we have a potluck every month and I am always resp for the cake/dessert and people have even gotten bold enough to put in requests. Do ou think I get any orders for birthdays, anniversaries?? Not really. I wanted to try a sneaker cake and a coworker wanted a cake for her son's birthday...so since I wanted to try the sneaker, I only charged her for a reg cake to feed 25 ppl. Plus the area I live in $2.50 per slice for a wedding cake is really pushing it.
I truley don't think this guy has a clue (along w/ anyone else that does not know what goes into making/creating a cake) what it takes to create these things. We take pride in what we do and would and should expect some sort of gratitude and appreciation for what it takes to help make their precious memories.
how rude. I guess you can atleast hope that if he is a doctor you can assign him to give you a free checkup or if he is an accountant you can assign him to do your taxes.
I recently offered to do a retirement cake for a co-worker who is just so sweet, I started to get a bit annoyed when another design than my initial idea was requested, then I was asked to bring it in on another day than rather than have it on the day they were taking him to lunch because everyone would be too full from cake to go to lunch and then to top it off I was asked to contribute to the collection, at that point I smiled sweetly and said I'm donating the cake remember!?! Next time I want to something nice for someone I won't tell anyone i'll just do it and bring in my idea at my leasure and give it to the recipient that way THEY can decide if they want to share it or not!
LOL !!! Just flour & sugar etc !!!! I would rather give a cake away.. When I want to ... Then sell 1 for less then I think its worth ...
I learned a long time ago that if I wanted to make a real business out of
selling my cakes I needed to say no to people expecting freebies. Most people don't realize the expense that goes into making cakes.
In my small business I spend one to two days per week baking and freezing my cakes. At that time I also make several bundt style cakes and freeze them along with several dozen cookies. When I'm asked to bring a cake to a pot luck, the bundt cake and cookies or brownies is what I take.
When I'm asked or volunteered to bring a cake to a function or even a wedding my answer is always "Let me check my calender to see if I'm free for that day, and if I'm, I will be happy to provide you with my price and flavor list and you can give me your deposit when you make your selections" It works every time. 
BeachBuns
I truly feel it is the epitome of bad taste to ask birthday guests to bring anything...of course a gift is customary...but if I have a dear friend who knows me well, they know that I am horrible to try to buy for and am terribly spoiled and there is no great list of thing that I want or need...so a card, or small donation to one of my pet "causes" is a great gift for me. (causes being the Democratic party, and save the baby harp seals, hepatitis C foundation , Boys & Girls Club) but I digress.
In my humble opinion unless a group of friends are getting together to throw a party for someone who might not otherwise have one i.e. a friend who has no family living in their town etc...nobody should TELL anyone else what to bring...now friends and myself have done as stated above and thrown together a party for someone then we would kind of say...well Ill bring the cake can you do the chips and dip?....and so on. But if a family member s "GIVING" the party it is downrght rude to ask others to foot the bill!
Just my $0.02
EDITED TO ADD...I think I have come up wth the perfect come back for me when asked ""Can you bring the cake?....I am going to answer... "Sure!..Can you write a check?
In my full-time job I work in a large office. I was asked only a couple of times to donate cakes because when asked, I replied that I was already booked for the date but that I could bring something similar to what everyone else was bringing which usually meant a bag of chips and some dip or a couple bottles of pop. Why should you or I spend more money and spend way more time than anyone else in the group? And, I think your friend's husband lacks alot. If he's is throwing a party, it's his responsibility to provide for his guests.
Oh my goodness, you guys are SO funny! I've loved reading everyone's responses or tales of their own...glad to see I am NOT alone. I thought about sending an email to all those friends that we consider close enough to let them know the "free" policy as they have ALL received a free cake from me. I'm DONE with free cakes, unless it's something that I WANT TO DO! My friend seemed to like the cake, but to me, she seemed to be a little more caught up in her little clique. I went home for 3 months to the states, and noticed when I got back that the friends that USED to be all cohesive, are now in individual groups? I guess that's part of overseas military life?!
We live on a VERY small base in Turkey...it's only around 2 miles long (the parts that we inhabit). The only grocery store is the commissary and their cakes are NASTY and NOT decorated, so there's only a few cake decorators on base. I wish it was easy enough to just stop by the grocery store...but maybe if I did do that, it might stop them from assuming I'd bring a cake that I made?! 
The cakes off base, from what I hear, are pretty yucky...so that's a no go.
My aunt told me something that made a lot of sense. She told me not to give away free cakes, if I felt like I wanted to give it for FREE , to at least charge for the supplies to make it. It made sense to me...
Thank you all for your insight. I really appreciate all the advice and hope to NOT have to use it! I already gave them the free anniversary cake, that was in June! But it's okay, I won't be doing anymore cakes for free. And at our next base, I told dh I won't even TRY to start with that! DH understood a little more of what went into the cake, but he sees me do them, so he KNOWS how long it takes me to do certain things, or that it takes me as much as a week in advance depending on what I am doing, so I think he understands why I am so upset about the situation. I'm not upset anymore though, now it's just a learning experience. 
Keyshia
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