Cake Board Manners

Decorating By SquirrellyCakes Updated 18 Nov 2005 , 1:12am by mistygaildunn

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 25 Nov 2004 , 7:27am
post #1 of 54

Hi there.

So am I just old-fashioned or does it ever bother anyone else? I have noticed on a few cake sites that frequently people ask for information, recipes, instructions, pictures etc. A lot of folks go to a lot of trouble and spend a lot of their time answering these posts, sending scans, answering E-mails, typing out recipes etc. A number of the people making the requests never respond again to those posts. They never tell you they received the e-mailed instructions, detailed explanations. Frequently they post the same requests on every cake board site that is out there and everyone runs to get them the information they need and they never post again to say that they received it.

I know personally that I have spent hours, days and weekends answering questions and passing on instuctions etc. only to never hear if that information is received. It isn't a question of expecting a thank-you, just wanting acknowledgement that the information was actually received.

I would say personally that out of all of the posts and e-mails I send that are generated from folks on these sites, only about 10 percent of the folks actually let me know they received the information ok.

I will give you an example, I send out the Cake Lady's Recipes on the Wilton site. Only about 1 in 10 people I send them to actually tells me they have received them.

So is it just me, am I old-fashioned or what? I am curious about other folks' experiences with this issue.

Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

53 replies
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GHOST_USER_NAME Posted 25 Nov 2004 , 5:17pm
post #2 of 54

NO, you are not alone. I have noticed that over and over on this site myself. Another member and I have even discussed it frequently. In fact, I wanted to stop responding to certain people's post on this site because they are typically going to be rude and not acknowledge that you've helped them. But then I decided I may be of help to someone else who just hasn't asked the question yet. It is very upsetting to me, indeed. I don't do things for people to receive thanks, at the same time, it's just nice manners. I know it would never occur to me to ask for help and then totally blow off the person that helped. Once, I asked for help and was in an accident later that day. It was 2 days before I could even check back in. I felt so horrible even though it was justified. I called a friend and asked her to post the situation for me so people wouldn't think I was just being ungrateful and think ill of me. I would rather crawl under a rock than have that happen. Just me, though. My mother pushed that manners thing deep down into my soul. Some of it is my age (42) and the different time I was raised in. Some people are still raised with manners, many are not. And it sure shows.

I have had people ask for templates of certain characters which I've done the leg-work for and supplied great links.. only to have it go unnoticed. I have to assume it went unnoticed because nice people would have acknowledged it and said thanks, right?

Now, there are a few people on this board who are very grateful and openly let us all know so. They make this board fun (you know who you are and you are a joy to help and interact with!). But there are more that don't (you also know who you are).

I am a member of 2 other boards where this is not the case. 9 times out of ten people say thank you and openly show gratitude.

And then they post the results. That's another thing that gripes me. You help someone and they don't post the results of that help. I've even posted back, "Hey, so-and-so.... how did that blah-blah cake turn out?" Just to never get a response of any kind.

Very sad indeed!! SquirrellyCakes, you have just been braver than I about mentioning it. I've wanted to say something but didn't. Thank you for doing so.

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 25 Nov 2004 , 9:43pm
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Hi cali4dawn,

Well I debated saying anything, but a cake friend of mine is just going through this type of situation. Whenever she posts a picture of anything, she is inundated with posts and E-mails requesting the instructions and some folks even E-mail to tell her that she is lying and there is no way that those pictures could be of real cakes. She is upset to the point of not wanting to post to any boards or help anyone. So I thought I would see if this was a common issue and perhaps just the post might remind a few folks that any help any of us get is done out of the goodness of people's hearts. There is so much we wouldn't learn if it wasn't for these cake boards and folks like Jackie that provide these boards to us.

I know that I have also received requests for a lot of help and sometimes after these folks receive what they want, they proceed to insult you or go after you for advice you have given or something like that. Sometimes you never hear from them again. Sort of surprises me.

However, a good 99% of the folks you do hear back from are super nice people. But the other 1% and the other folks who never respond, well they do cause a few issues.

I have put in many hours on E-mails and posts etc. only to never hear from the folks again. Then you see them post a cake and say how easy it was and they pass off the instructions like they were their own, never giving credit to the authors.

Some folks seem to assume that you have all of the information at your fingertips and it is just a question of E-mailing a file. They have no idea of the amount of time that goes into formulating a response.

I guess one of the things that still surprises me are the people that are just starting to decorate, they advertise and get orders for cakes like wedding cakes, that they just don't have the knowledge or experience - yet - to do. Then they post or E-mail and they want the complete information, from design, to recipes to construction, to dowel and separator plates etc. This is acceptable when someone is doing a cake for themselves or for a family or friend when cost is the biggest issue.

However, in my view, it is not acceptable to set up shop and advertise and sell to the public, as though you were an experienced and professional decorator and to charge fees accordingly. If you are a professional, then you should have this knowledge and not need to rely on people for every bit of information possible. The public has a right to expect quality and knowledge and experience when you have presented yourself as a professional.
I find that these are the folks that are the worst culprits for asking for many details and then never acknowledging the information.

I also take issue with some of the folks that are being hired to teach the Wilton courses, often just as they have completed one themselves. I often receive E-mails from some of these folks, asking how to make Royal Icing, or how to make their roses, etc.

If they are hired to teach these things, they should know how to do them. They sometimes give really bad advice to students in their course, mainly becuase they don't have the knowledge themselves. Yes, there are many good instructors out there, but there are also some that should never have been hired as they are not ready.

I believe that anyone signing up for a course should be able to expect a certain level of quality in the quality of the hands-on instruction as obviously the written insturctions provided should be consistent everywhere.

I think that we are very lucky to have these boards to go to where you can keep up on the latest in trends and get help with various issues. However, all too often the help isn't acknowledged and sometimes, there is no effort to do a search to find out the information that is already posted.

It isn't a question of people being new to the boards and not knowing how to search for the information, often it is just a case of them not wanting to take the time to search for it themselves.

Sure you can just stop responding when you feel like that, but if that was the case, there would be nowhere to go to get this information. So at least posting acknowledgement of receipt of the information, even if saying thank-you is not part of your demeanour, would go a long way in insuring that in the future there will be people available to help.

Perhaps, at 50, it is really just a sign of expecting the type of manners that I was taught to be a part of everyone's history. Maybe you and I are dinosaurs, haha! Seriously though, it doesn't seem to be an issue of age as many of the younger folks have excellent manners - from what I have seen.

Hugs, Squirrelly Cakes

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CarolAnn Posted 26 Nov 2004 , 4:48pm
post #4 of 54

Hello, If it were't for the kind people who contibute and participate on this board and another I use I would have lost my ever lovin mind in October planning for my first and second ever wedding cakes. I cannot express my appreciation enough for the help I have received. It is absolutely heart-warming knowing there are people here and on other boards who care about helping me to feel confident and successful. I am posting a picture of the cakes I did using the faux fondant. I couldn't have done it without the help I got here.
Thanks soo much!!

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Lemondrop Posted 26 Nov 2004 , 8:48pm
post #5 of 54

Hi SquirrellyCakes,

I just had to send you a quick note. You know how you picture people on these boards, well, I pictured you...frankly quite a bit younger than I am(37) You just sound so young and energetic icon_smile.gif

Also, I don't ask lots of questions on the boards, but I do get lots of info from your answers to the others...and I just wanted to say thank you.

So, thanks again, from one Canadian to another(I'm in N.-B.)


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SquirrellyCakes Posted 27 Nov 2004 , 6:46am
post #6 of 54

Hi again all.

Lemondrop, you are a sweetie and you pose wonderful questions that make us think and I know that you are not a person to ignore answers that you get to your posts. I have probably learned more from your questions and posts than you have learned from any of my answers!

I like that young and energetic comment - you should have seen me Christmas shopping today, you would be re-thinking your mental picture of me, haha!

It is a topic that comes up a lot. There are many folks out there on many boards that help out all of us. I know that many get frustrated and wonder if they are just wasting there time posting or E-mailing information when they never hear back that it was received.

I think the danger is that we lose some of these folks who are absolute fountains of knowledge for all of us. I have some wonderful young cake friends who haven't been decorating all that long, but are excellent decorators and they find the whole situation frustrating. They are often asked for instructions and go out of their ways to share and never hear back. They have become a bit disullusioned about sharing information and it would be a shame for them to stop providing it as they have so much to share.

If people only realized that most folks enjoy helping and watching people grow and if they were as enthusiastic when they receive information as they are when they request it, well the offers to help would multiply.

And having said all of that, I would be remiss in not thanking Jackie for providing a place such as this, as such a valuable resource for all of us.

Thanks Jackie, Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 27 Nov 2004 , 6:56am
post #7 of 54

Hi CarolAnn,

Just wanted to say that I went to see your pictures in the galleries and aren't you doing well! Very pretty, I thought they were rolled fondant, you did a nice job! I love the way that heart shaped table is set up wit the way the petals are done in the heart shape and the little cakes to the side and all. Pretty colours too! You should be proud of yourself!

So nice to have a place like this to get help from, isn't it?

Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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cinnamon Posted 27 Nov 2004 , 11:57am
post #8 of 54

I want to say a great big thank you to anyone on these boards who have been so helpful the last few weeks. Many times I read a post and use the ideas, yesterday using the frozen buttercream transfer idea. I am not new to cake decorating but my business is just taking off in a new area-therefore I spend all my extra time and energy reading the boards and practicing new techniques. Again, thanks for all your great ideas and being big enough to share them with all of us, it is greatly appreciated. Squirrelly, you and I would be in the same age bracket and I love your name as my beloved grandfather's nickname all his life was Squirrelly! Every time I see it I feel I can trust you...funny how name association works. icon_biggrin.gif Blessings! Lou/Cinnamon

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Kiddiekakes Posted 27 Nov 2004 , 6:29pm
post #9 of 54

Hi Mary Lou,

I know you know I agree with you!! I enjoy all aspects of this board and others and learn extreme amounts of knowledge every time I read or post.Thankyou to all that have answered my questions in the past and present.

Laurel Kiddiekakes

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 28 Nov 2004 , 3:14am
post #10 of 54

Hi Cinnamon,
I think we all keep up on the latest trends and methods on these boards. I know that I do - when your children are adults you really have to rely on the younger mothers to find out what is hot and what is not. there is always something to learn!
You will have to tell me how your late grandfather earned the name Squirrelly! So we are in the same age group? The one that is past gaining a mouth and losing the knees and celebrating everything else starting to break down?
Kiddiekakes, you are always so agreeable! Yes we have had this discussion many times haven't we? Heavens what an excellent decorator this young lady is! Had the pleasure of meeting Kiddiekakes in her home town and she is every bit as lovely and nice as she is on the sites and a wonderful mother and daughter to boot.
Hugs to all,
Squirrelly Cakes

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prettytoya Posted 6 Dec 2004 , 6:32pm
post #11 of 54

I haven't asked (bothered) you lately-LOL! But learned from a very young age to be appreciative. You and others take loads of time to help us "newbies" all the time and I really appreciate all you do if no one else does! Have a wonderful Christmas to all of you ladies/gentlemen!

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 3:44am
post #12 of 54

Hi Prettytoya,
You are never a bother, always a delight to hear from! All the best of the holiday season to you too!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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Jackie Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 6:37am
post #13 of 54

Hi All,

I just wanted to take the time to say thanks to all the members of who have been so active and really helped this community grow, by not only giving their time, but their valuable knowledge and sharing their creativity too! icon_smile.gif

I have been racking my brain to try and find ways to make this community more rewarding for such active participants as yourselves.

I have added features such as getting comments on your photos email to you and such. So that people can get "instant" gratification and kudos after posting thier work.

I have created a thread in the "Suggestions" forum for you to leave any comments or ideas that you may have to make your time on more rewarding.

Obviously I can't make people say thanks, but there may be other ways.
Feel free to leave your ideas, if I find a common interest for something I can work on putting that feature together.

I hope you all enjoy this site as much as I have enjoyed your company! icon_biggrin.gif

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 7:18am
post #14 of 54

Hi Jackie,
Well for some reason my post didn't attach, so I will try again. Computers!
I just wanted to say thank you for setting up this site and sharing it with all of us. You have done an amazing job of making it interesting and well organized and educational. Kudos to you!
I often refer people to this site for information etc. just as I was also referred to this site.
I also check out the tutorials and the amazing pictures of cakes and find those things so helpful and interesting.
You are always receptive to people's suggestions and always striving to improve and that is fantastic.
We appreciate your generousity and efforts, it can't be easy!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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CarolAnn Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 3:41pm
post #15 of 54

Hi Jackie,
I just want to say that I agree whole-heartedly with all that SquirrellyCakes just said. I cannot express what this site has meant to me. You have been so very generous in creating and maintaining a place where we can come to ask questions, share and receive ideas and gain confidence in ourselves doing something we enjoy so much. I've said it before and I'll say it again.... I would not have had as positive an experience doing my first wedding cakes had it not been for the friends here who gave me the positive feedback and encouragement I needed. I try to come here every day to read the posts and see the latest pictures. This has been the most positive internet experience for me. And it gets better as I get more familiar with the names I see here. Thank you Jackie! And thanks to all you ladies and gents who participate here. Wishing you all a blessed and Happy Holiday season.

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Flour_Girl Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 9:35pm
post #16 of 54

Hello All,

I'm still a newbie here at Cake Central but would like to offer my very own THANK YOU to everyone here. I'm sorry that people are not more mannerful icon_sad.gif but I would like to offer my personal "thanks" to you all in place of their oversight or rudeness. icon_biggrin.gif BTW, this is my first post so I look forward to meeting & conversing with you all!!! icon_smile.gif


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denisewalks Posted 7 Dec 2004 , 11:38pm
post #17 of 54

SquirrleyCakes was nice enough to send me those wonderful recipies and I made it a point to thank her. I don't think I'm an expert by any means and I appreciate all the help I'm given.

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momtoabby Posted 3 Jan 2005 , 4:31am
post #18 of 54

Well, it took me a while on a Boobah cake for a friend, but i finally posted the picture in the gallery under kid's birthday cakes. Thanks to everyone for the advice!!! It's not a great cake, but my friend was happy with it.

~Dana icon_lol.gif

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Cakeasyoulikeit Posted 6 Jan 2005 , 12:10am
post #19 of 54

Hi everyone,

I was on the boards for a while in the early fall and then got sidetracked (might have been the morning sickness!) and am now back on, but I have learned a ton from this site and Wiltons. I haven't been able to break into the selling market yet, so am only sporadically making cakes. I'll be posting a few in the next few days. I know I did let one post go un-thanked as it was right before Thanksgiving...and the cake never materialized...and then I forgot. Sorry! Anyway, I really have appreciated all the help! Thanks!

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flayvurdfun Posted 1 Mar 2005 , 12:19pm
post #20 of 54

totally agree! It isnt rocket science to let someone know you appreciate them. I know I have sent people I dont know postcards, German Choc and little things like that to them to tell them thank you for their help! Its the only way I want to be!

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m0use Posted 1 Mar 2005 , 2:17pm
post #21 of 54

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

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charleydog Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 12:02am
post #22 of 54

I thought I might bump this up again, I was reading it last night and find it very enlightening... I think alot of people are not giving credit where credit is due...maybe this will help...


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tye Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 12:15am
post #23 of 54

I am probably guilty of not sending out the thank yous as often as needed.. most times i have a crisis and come here to read and learn, fix my project or continue with my project just in time to move to the next one.. i read almost every new post but dont have the time to chime in when i have tons of thoughts... sometimes it may not be so much of the manners as it is with the time.. but i am very much appreciative of this website and forum... and all the great advise i've read and gotten.. i'll make it a point to get my thank yous out there more often!!

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stephanie214 Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 12:41am
post #24 of 54

Thanks charleydog for bumping this up...first time reading.

I try to make it a point to thank everyone but just in case I missed someone;


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jscakes Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 12:49am
post #25 of 54

Yes, Thanks charleydog for bumping this up as it seems the appropriate time!

I do try and acknowledge any help I receive, I am human and sometimes I may miss one.
I have also tried to respond in kind, I receive help, I give least I try to!

This site has been very enlightening to me, and it's fun to share experiences with those who are also interested in cake decorating!

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MommyEdzards Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 1:18am
post #26 of 54

I certainly hope I have let it be known how thankful I am for the help and support I have got from this site. Squirrelly, you are always very helpful. I have learned a lot from others questions that you have answered. You know.... WE ALL have had to start from some where, and it is nice to be able to ask for advice and how- to questions. I am NO WHERE NEAR professional, but practice practice practice!!!! So THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the kind people here. I hope that I have helped some out too.... I try icon_redface.gif
Well happy baking.... but really Thank you Jackie.... this site is a blessing!

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mommykicksbutt Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 1:24am
post #27 of 54

I try to give credit when and where credit is do! If a borrow someone's brilliant idea for a cake design and then post a picture of my creation of that cake, then I'll state where or who I got the idea from. I may be generalized in the gratitude (not remembering exactly who gave me the idea) but at least I say thanks in general.

This site is a great resource because of the wealth of information, experience, and skills that the members possess and the members' willingness to share such with others. I would hope that there would at least be a tacit thank you among the exchange here.

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slejdick Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 1:29am
post #28 of 54

I'm relatively new here, and haven't posted yet asking for information, but I've been reading everything and learning so much from all of the wonderful posters who very generously share their ideas and expertise.

I've been playing with cookies, just started Wilton Course II, have made a couple of cakes, and am looking forward to doing lots more. I'm having a blast, and will post pics soon of some of what I've done.

So, this is a formal thank you to all of you who make this board so great! I appreciate you, and will be here soaking it all in as you share!


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beany Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 1:31am
post #29 of 54

I'm so lucky to have these forums.

I discovered this website only recently, but the advice given to me so far has been invaluable and you are all so kind! The best part is that you love SHARING with me.

I've contacted several decorators here in Australia......they are all so reluctant to share anything and some of them don't even bother responding to my emails.

I feel fortunate to be able to discuss cake matters with you all.


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blittle6 Posted 17 Nov 2005 , 1:32am
post #30 of 54

Hi every1,

I hope I have always said thank you to any1 who has helped me or sent me a recipe, instructions, questions etc. I really do try to respond to every1 and acknowledge if they have sent me something I requested. I also always give out my recipes I use if some1 asks for them, and I try to post recipes I think sound really good but just haven't had a chance to try yet. I hope I have never hurt any1's feelings or made them feel as if I was ignoring or unappreciative....I still feel bad because one day I didn't know that people hadn't read PM's that were in my outbox...duh.....I deleted them and couldn't remember who they were to...I even made posts asking for people to PM me again! I love this site and all the help I have found here. I hope one day I will be able to help someone like so many have helped me!

Hugs to my CC family!

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