Are People Really This Stupid?

Decorating By Candy120 Updated 9 Sep 2008 , 6:20pm by Hawkette

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thecakemaker Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 2:52pm
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lhayes1976 ~ that reminds me of another one. . .

Before cell phones were so big and everyone had pagers my father told my husband "I don't know why you bother carrying that thing! You never return your messages - i've left you two or three messages in one day and you haven't called me back!" He was calling and instead of keying in his phone # he was leaving a voice message at the beep like it was an answering machine.

Debbie

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mrsright41401 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:00pm
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I haven't read the entire thread, but I thought I'd throw this in...

Quote:
Quote:

I watched "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" this week and could not believe some of the questions that were missed. The one about how many teaspoons you would have if you had five tablespoons seemed like a no brainer to me.




15 tsp.

hehehehe

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Candy120 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:10pm
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My SIL's husband was the postmaster of the small post office and he came home and told her that the price of stamps was going to go up...so she naturally said, "bring some home before the price goes up!!"

My aunt's husband passed away. Not doing anything with the car for herself, she was told that she needed new tires. She went to the tire store and asked them if they came in any other color than BLACK!!!

thumbsdown.gif

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mrsright41401 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:17pm
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Okay - my turn.

Right after we got married my husband's best friend called and said that he and his wife (also newlyweds) were having a fight and needed us to settle it. They couldn't decide who was wright when it came to spelling ESPECIALLY.

Chad thought it was spelled Espeshally. Jolene thought it was expeshally because that's how she had always said it.

dunce.gif

Living in the south and dealing with teenagers at the theatre, my husband has had some good ones. I was there for one. A customer had spilled her extra large cup of coke and one of the young men who works there was trying to mop it up. He keeps pushing the mop around and stops to complain that the mess keeps getting bigger. I walk over and look at what he's doing - he didn't pick up the ice and is just moving it around. detective.gif

And here is one of the MANY I did. When I was little one of my favorite foods was Chicken Mole. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a combination of Mexican chocolate, chilis, peanut butter and chicken. It's not as gross as it sounds, so if you ever see it on a menu (which is rare) be sure to try it. Anyway, I'm like 14 years old, and I am pretty good in the kitchen. I had all of the ingredients and decide to follow a recipe i found online. So, I start by defrosting 3 lbs of chicken and cutting it into cubes. I measure how much it is and it isnt' enough. So, I raid the deep freezer for another 3 lbs of chicken, still isn't enough, and more and more and more.

I ended up using 24 lbs of chicken before I realized that the recipe I got was to feed 40 people.

My family was eating chicken mole for a month. icon_wink.gif

Rachel

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lionladydi Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:20pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsright41401

I haven't read the entire thread, but I thought I'd throw this in...

Quote:
Quote:

I watched "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" this week and could not believe some of the questions that were missed. The one about how many teaspoons you would have if you had five tablespoons seemed like a no brainer to me.



15 tsp.

hehehehe




Silly goose..........I knew the answer. My son in law said 2 1/2 tsp--1 Tbs so his answer was 20 because he rounded it off. Now I really want him baking me a cake, don't you? I quizzed my fifth grade grandson but he didn't know the answer either. The kids on that show did know the answer.

Diane

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kms2402 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:26pm
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LOL....that's great!!! I deal with stupid questions like this on a daily basis at work....and I work in a hospital!!! Sometimes Residents and Doctors can ask the dumbest questions!!! You should write these down and save them and write a book someday!!!

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mrsright41401 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:26pm
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Quote:
Quote:

mrsright41401 wrote:
I haven't read the entire thread, but I thought I'd throw this in...

Quote:
I watched "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" this week and could not believe some of the questions that were missed. The one about how many teaspoons you would have if you had five tablespoons seemed like a no brainer to me.


15 tsp.

hehehehe


Silly goose..........I knew the answer. My son in law said 2 1/2 tsp--1 Tbs so his answer was 20 because he rounded it off. Now I really want him baking me a cake, don't you? I quizzed my fifth grade grandson but he didn't know the answer either. The kids on that show did know the answer.

Diane




I knew you knew, I just wanted to be one of the few other people who knows, so you don't feel alone icon_wink.gif . Doesn't it annoy you when you have a recipe and it calls for 3 tsp of... icon_eek.gif?

And to add another funny to that. My DH was helping in the kitchen the other day and I had a recipe that called for 3 tsp of something. I verified that it said teaspoons than said, 1 Tablespoon of *ingredient* and he said...

"Yes, but 3 teaspoons is not EXACTLY 1 tablespoon, they round it up."

thumbsdown.gif

I looked at him and laughed.

Rachel

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chaptlps Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:32pm
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Lion I think they were all homeschooled by cake decorating mom's!!!

I too have a few interesting stories about people in this country who drive on the same streets as I do...........(now that's a scary thought)
I used to work at a Walmart Bakery and we would make the dummy cakes for display. Harley Davidson came out with their kit so we did one up as a dummy. We clearly marked it as a dummy for display only in english AND spanish. Well, I came to work one morning and the darn thing wasn't there. Some customer had just walked up and took off with it (and these people breed OMG!) The same week we had another person take off with another of the display cakes and they actually brought it back to customer service saying that the cake was (omg, I still can't believe this person did this) too tough, they couldn't cut it. I can't believe that they actually came back to the store to get their money back on a cake they actually "stole".
Can we say, "Here's yer sign."
At least the customer who took off with the Harley cake had enough sense to not try to get their money back. (I actually don't think they paid for it anyway).
And these people vote and drive!!!!

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tripletmom Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 3:52pm
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My Dh's favourite saying: "Common sense isn't that common!"

And he is right!

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rustyk10 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:04pm
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It's 16.03 here in the UK. Will have to copy some of these to a friend who is a bit down at the moment!

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fourangelsmommie Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:06pm
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I don't have a cake story, but I do work as a secretary at a Hospice, which takes care of terminally ill patients who have 6 months or less to live.

Well, I get a phone call about once a week from the same guy....he always says "what!?! This isn't Pizza Hut? I dialed their number!" And when I try to tell him our number he always says "Are you prank calling me? I want a large pepperoni, thin crust." Am I calling HIM? So I say, "Sure, we will send that to you in 30 minutes or less or its free" and hang up. Serves him right.


Then, there is the same salesguy that calls 3 or 4 times a day, every day for weeks at a time until HE catches on. He refuses to state his name or his company name, but when I answer the phone, he says he needs to talk to us about our 'requested information' about our copy machine, and that I need to tell him our model number. So, when I ask him if we have a contract with his company, he usually hangs up on me. Well, I was feeling mean (because I really, really enjoy people hanging up on me) so I told him our model number was RUN2ME2. Next time he called I gave him model number DUMB1RU. Both times he asked me for the brand because he couldn't find either number in his book. The last time I left him on hold for over 20 minutes before he finally hung up.

Then, my favorite....is the lady that called asking if she could talk to her parole officer. I said, "Um, this is a Hospice". She said "Look lady, I need to speak to her now or I'm gonna get in TROUBLE." Ok, so I explained again that I don't know who her parole officer is, nor do I have her phone number, and I do not know where she lives. We deal with DYING people. So she tells me the parole officer's name and asks if I can look her up in the phone book. So, being the kind person I can be, attempted to look it up for her, but she was unlisted (smart woman). So I tell her and she yells into the phone "Well what good are you then!" I had to laugh later that day when I saw a cop car go by our office......I could only think maybe they picked up my little friend and took her directly to her parole officer. hahahaha

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mawagner Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:25pm
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I have one to share...we have friends of our family that adopted a baby from Korea. The adoptive parents (who are caucasian) were asked "Are you going to teach him to speak English?" That always cracks me up...as if they had a choice!!

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mrsright41401 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:27pm
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I read something online about someone who owned a small business and was receiving unbelievable amounts of calls from the same telemarketer. Well finally one day she answered the telemarketer with, "we don't have one of those".

Conversation went something like:

"Hello, may I please speak with the person in charge of your telephone service."

"I'm sorry, we dont' have one of those."

*pause*

"Who makes the decisions about the telephones than?"

"We dont' have any."

"You don't have any telephones?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I'm sorry for bothering you - have a nice day."

LOL

Rachel

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Crimsicle Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:55pm
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I love this thread! I manage the box office for a performing arts venue, and my job is nearlly all public contact. Boy, we get some doozies!

One of my favorites: "Hello...I'd like some tickets to your previous performances." (pause) "Well, ma'am...we only have tickets to FUTURE performances." (now SHE pauses) "OK." (Pause again) Me: "Which one? Her: "Which one WHAT?" Me: "Which future performance?" (another pause) Her" "I don't know...what have you got?" Me: "Well...what kinds of things do you like?" Her: "Plays. I like plays." Me: "We don't do plays here, ma'am." Her: "Well, who DOES plays?" Me: "I don't know for sure, ma'am. I'm sure there are lots of places in town that do plays." Her: "OK....I'll call them."

I just sat there stunned.

We have to ask how the person's name is written on the credit card...sometimes it's a formal version of their name, or has an initial. So, I had this conversation:

"And, how is your name written on your credit card, sir?"

His response....

"In little bitty silver letters..."


I swear I will write a book one of these days....

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brightbrats Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:55pm
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HERE"S YOUR SIGN.

My MIL calls my house phone #, I answer, she goes " you there ? " icon_confused.gif

No, howd you ever guess.

My husband is a truck driver, he can tell his mom he is going to so and so place, its like 500 miles one way, she'll ask how many miles is it back home. Duh, I wonder. icon_confused.gif

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mkerton Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 4:59pm
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these are so funny....I have a couple about my relatives.....

First I have a cousin who called her mom from the baking isle of the grocery store....conversation: "Mom, where is the cupcake mix, I have been up and down this isle and I haven't seen it yet" followed by hysterical laughing...

second store, a cousin of mine was making what we refer to as Rotel dip (ground beef, melted Velveta cheese, can of Rotel tomotoes).......she melts the cheese in the microwave....then adds the ground beef RAW.......................yep usually meat cooks really good in melted cheese!

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okieinalaska Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:03pm
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Oh my gosh, these are hilarious! I have one...I used to work at the Gastineau Humane Society. One morning this gal came in and I met her at the door (it was just before we were to open for the day).

Me: Can I help you?
Her: Is this where I give a urine sample?
Me:What?
Her: Is this where I give a urine sample for a drug test.
ME:um...no. This is the Humane Society.
Her: Yes...I am supposed to give a urine sample.
ME:we deal with animals, not people

Her: blank look
Me: you know... it's an animal shelter
Her:another blank look
Me: you want Gastineau Human Services.


I finally gave her the address and sent her on her way, LOL. I don't think she was going to pass her drug test, LOL.

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mkerton Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:09pm
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Amy that is funny............

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Cakepro Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:20pm
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LOL!!! These are hilarious!!

The most recent one that happened to me was yesterday, when I called a friend and told to go look at the moon because we were having a full lunar eclipse, and she said, "OH! Outside?"

Hahaha!!

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lionladydi Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:20pm
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I had given my girlfriend a recipe for microwave caramel corn that you make in a brown paper bag. Just make the syrup in a casserole dish and pour it over the popped corn in a bag. Delicious and easy and no mess afterwards.

Well...........it calls for 3-4 quarts of popcorn. She calls to ask if that is popped or unpopped corn. Before she got it completely out of her mouth I could hear her husband roaring laughing as was I. Everytime I see that popcorn commercial where the popped corn is coming out of the back of that semi trailer I think of her and her caramel corn making. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Diane

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Michelle104 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:23pm
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My cousin calls me the other day for the recipe for Italian Beef. I give it to her, tell her how simple it is, blah blah blah.....She calls me from the grocery store a few hours later and says, " Do I use a pork roast? I just want to make sure that I get the right thing!" I was pretty much dumbfounded!!! I said, "Uh, Kim.....it's called Italian 'BEEF'!!!" Then we both just cracked up!!!!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

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indydebi Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:24pm
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fourangelsmommie, your story reminded me of yet another!

Hubby used to work for the sheriff's dept. He got a call one night from a lady who wanted to know if she had any outstanding warrants against her. He looked it up and saw that she did, but told her, "we're not allowed to give that information over the phone, but if you come down to the office, we can find that out for you." She showed up and they arrested her. She claimed "entrapment"! They put her in jail. Here's yer sign!

At my last job, we'd get a lot of calls for AARP. One guy asked about which plan he should get for his prescriptions. I told him he must have a wrong number. He continued to ask about medicare benefits. I continued to tell him I didn't handle medicare! Finally,very exasperated he asked, "So how am I going to know which plan to get?" Beats me, buddy!

Another lady wanted to pay her electric bill by phone. I told her I wasn't the electric company, she must have a wrong number. She said she HAD to pay it today or they were going to cut her off. I said I was sorry but I wasn't the electric company. She asked why I wouldn't take her payment. I said BECAUSE I'M NOT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY! She asked who she was suppose to call, then? I suggested she call HER ELECTRIC COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She told me I was useless and hung up.

Here's yer sign!

My brother in law used to work for Domino's pizza. One night, at home, they got a call from a lady who wanted to place an order. They told her she had the wrong number. Hung up. Phone rings. It's her. She's laughing because "....hahaha I dialed the wrong number before!" They told her she dialed the wrong number again. Hung up. Phone rings. It's her. Lady, you've got the wrong number! She's getting ticked off. Hung up. PHone rings. It's her.

Brother-in-law took her order. Hung up. No more calls from her.

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Chef_Stef Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 5:32pm
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Ohhh, these are so funny! I thought it was a local thing, but I see stupid folks are everywhere... ROFL

I have one. A few years ago we had a 17-year old become our ward, who seemed to lack any common sense at all.

One day she walks up to me holding a pair of her pants and a disappointed look on her face. She holds the pants out and says "This is such a bummer. I can't wear these pants anymore!" Me: "Why not?" Her: "Well, I washed them, and now there's just this big hole where the button should be! Look."

I grabbed the part she was holding out to me to see what could have happened to her button. It was the neatly stitched BUTTON HOLE side of the pants. icon_confused.gif I found the other tab (right there at the other side of the top of the zipper) and showed her the button, still right where it should be.

One of my other favorites of hers was one day when she came home from school and told me that she learned that day where the moon and stars go during the day. (remember--she's a senior in HIGH SCHOOL) icon_eek.gif

Me: "What?!?"

Her: "Yeah. Apparently they're all still there during the day!"

Me: "Um, where did you think they went?"

Her: "I thought maybe they all sort of went together to make up the sun." icon_eek.gif I actually laughed for a bit before I realized she wasn't kidding....poor kid. I sometimes shudder to think how she manages as an adult now.

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grams Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 6:14pm
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A co worker told me he had been tested for sleep apnea was getting one of the breathing machines that people who have sleep apnea use. He was getting one because without it he might wake up some morning and find himself dead.

I wish you could have seen the sheepish look on his face when I said,"If you're dead you don't wake up."

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lionladydi Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 6:19pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grams

A co worker told me he had been tested for sleep apnea was getting one of the breathing machines that people who have sleep apnea use. He was getting one because without it he might wake up some morning and find himself dead.

I wish you could have seen the sheepish look on his face when I said,"If you're dead you don't wake up."




With all due respect, I have heard that all my life about "waking up dead." I often wonder how sayings like that get started.

The breathing machine is called a CPap. I use one every night so I don't wake up dead from sleep apnea icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Diane

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shelbur10 Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 7:00pm
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These are hilarious!

The other night I had a friend over while I was making a cake. She was watching me pour milk into a measuring spoon and put it in the mixing bowl. Then she asks, "So, do you measure things, or do you just know how much to put it?" I said, "Umm, do you mean like that milk I just MEASURED??" icon_lol.gif
LOL

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m0use Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 7:12pm
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I work for Kohl's Department Store at the corporate headquarters at the Helpdesk. Our favorite calls are when a customer calls us because they can't find anyone in the store. Our phones have speed dial buttons that are marked and the Helpdesk is one of them.
My favorite call for this was an older guy, he said he had walked all around the shoe area and couldn't find anyone so he walked into the shoe stockroom and saw the phone. He saw the button that said "Helpdesk" on it so he thought he would call it to get some help. Well, the caller id showed me what store number it was and so I told him I would call the store and get someone to help him. I called the store back, spoke to someone in customer service to let them know what happened. They got a kick out of it. On another note, if you are in a Kohl's store and you can't find anyone and you can't find a callbox to page someone overhead for that particular department. Don't call the Helpdesk, just pick up the phone and dial '0' (zero) and it will ring back to customer service. I tell customer's do to that now, when I first started my job I didn't know you could do that and a lady got pissed off at me because I didn't know what store she was calling from and I was just asking her what town she was calling in.
I have a copy of something that I saw in Reader's Digest about tech support things.
One of them was Compaq changed the screen to say "press the enter key to continue" instead of "press any key to continue" because too many people called up asking where the "any" key is.
Another one- a tech support person was trying to help a lady determine if her floppy disks were bad or the data on them was corrupt so he asked that she send him a copy of the disks. He received a photo-copy of the disks in question in the mail a week later. (He meant make another floppy disk with the same data on it and send them to him.)
Here's another one- a person's first internship in the computer industry was a helpdesk position for a school or something. One day this person was trying to work with an individual and it wasn't going well. The person calling in stated "Can I talk to a real person?"
The Helpdesk person said, "I am real."
The caller says, "I'm sorry that was mean of me. Can I talk to someone who actually knows something."
That last story reminds me of some of our store associates who don't like the answers/solutions that we give them. As they hang up the phone they always retort "Well, the Helpdesk wasn't very helpful." (Oh does that get my goat.) icon_mad.gif

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christeena Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 8:01pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimsicle




"And, how is your name written on your credit card, sir?"

His response....

"In little bitty silver letters..."


I swear I will write a book one of these days....






OMG, I thought I'd pee my pants at this one! What a hoot!!

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cocakedecorator Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 8:20pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nglez09

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

deal w/ them every day in my "real" job ---

they're called students



icon_mad.gif We're not all idiots. icon_razz.gif Really though, I feel sorry for you guys; you have no idea who's going to be running this country when you're trying to live off of your pensions. thumbsdown.gif Well, maybe you do- morons.




Pension? HA Do those still exist? LOL icon_wink.gif

I repair telephones and phone systems and get these ones all the time...

They call "my phone doesn't work" In what way doesn't it work? " I don't know it just doesn't work" Ask them to do some basic troubleshooting , like check the connections, unplug it and plug it back in.. response " I can't do that because then I will hang up on you" OMG if your phone doesn't work then how the heck are you calling me from it.

Another one when needing to send a replacement phone. What model is it? Response " Old" or " A black one". Ok, I will just send you an old, black colored phone and hope it works. LOL

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TooCuteRose Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 8:28pm
post #90 of 539

next time just tell them here's your sign...i know i've needed a few of them...my bf was getting ready to go to work...he was about out the door when i asked him if he was leaving...

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