Ok, it's been a truly horrible month for me. My dad has been sick since 1999, and we found out a few months ago his cancer has spread into his bones. In the past month, he's gone downhill very quickly. We don't know how much longer he will be with us, and it's a very sad time for our family.
I tried to be a good citizen and donate blood at my DH blood drive a week ago, and had the misfortune of getting a rookie "sticker" whom I'm sure is actually Sirhan Sirhan the Assasin. I still have a bruise the size of a softball and my arm has been sore for a week.
Last week, I was the victim of paypal fraud in both my personal bank account and on my American Express card. Thankfully, it looks like both will be resolved, but it's been awful trying to get it all straightened out. And my cash flow has been substantially altered!
For Thanksgiving, I traveled with my DH and DD to my in-laws, and while we were there, our vet called with the devastating news that our older dog has incurable cancer. She only has a few weeks with us, and we are dreading losing her. The vet said the best thing we can do is bring her home and love her until the time comes. DH and I adopted her together almost ten years ago. We loved this dog way before we had a baby to love, and we will feel her loss to the core of our being.
So, I'm reaching out to all of you for some words of comfort, solace, and for whatever advice you can give on dealing with all of this. I know that what I'm feeling right now, both for my dad and the dog, is anticipatory grief and it's perfectly normal, but damn it, that doesn't make it any easier to bear.
I've heard that a happiness shared doubles and a sadness shared divides in half, so I hope by sharing this I can ease our family's pain.....
Thanks for reading and for keeping us in your thoughts.
sdfgarcia, I am so sorry to hear about all your griefs, and I know there is not any one word I could say to make it go away, but just know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers
I'm so sorry for all that you are going through and no words can ease the pains you are experiencing. I know that first hand as I just buried my grandmother and found out my aunt has bone cancer as well. The only thing that brings me comfort and hopefully you to is knowing their pain is ending. Life with pain isn't living. Sadly, I know that first hand too.
You hang in there and know that this too will pass.
Sdfgarcia, I too was sorry to hear about the hard times you are experiencing. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best. Keep us posted and know we are here for you.
Just seems like sometimes things get piled on and you wonder just how much you can bear. Things like this are never easy and this time of year makes it doubly hard, IMO.
My best friend was murdered, three years ago and I thought I'd never get over it. I thought her death was the end of my life, as I knew it. One day I decided that if I was to live through my grief that I had to change something. I decided that I had to celebrate her life each day. By doing that I began to heal and discovered that I could keep her close to my heart with happiness for the time we had and the wonderful memories of our good times.
Watching someone you love die is never easy. Nothing is more heartwrenching but if you allow it to consume you it will.
I am not sure if this will help you at all but I will keep you in my thoughts.
Stephanie---
I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for strength. This is but a season in your life and you will weather it gracefully--of this I have no doubt.
(((((HUGS)))))))
Lisa
Dear Stephanie I am so sorry for this difficult time right now. Caribou is right-the only thing that gave me some comfort when I lost my mom (at age 45 to leukemia) was that she wasn't sick anymore. She hated being sick because she was always a go getter and she just couldn't be her when she was sick.
Do you guys have the support of hospice? They are a wonderful support system (medically and emotionally) for your dad and you and your family and will be for as long as you might need them. They accept most insurances and all your doctor has to do is prescribe it for you. Some doctors don't believe in hospice because to them it means the disease has won and they lost but that's not what it's about-it's about making a patient and their family more comfortable in the most difficult time. I never worked for hospice but I was a social worker and dealt with them alot.
I'll be thinking of you and your family.
dori
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have been there more than once. Keep your chin up, it is tough, but we all make it through it. And I have to agree hospice is wonderful, they have been here for me twice, and would have been a third time, but my father passed when we were getting ready for them to come in. I will pray for you.
Wilma
Well dear, you are in our thoughts and prayers. I cannot think of any words of comfort other than to tell you that the love and care you give to both your father and your beloved pet - made a difference in their lives, lives that would have been much emptier and sadder without you.
When things go horribly wrong for me, I find that if I can do some small act of kindness for someone else, it helps. I see you are already trying to do this with your blood donation. I believe this is the way to go.
I am sorry you were the victim of fraud, most particularly at a time like this.
Hugs Squirrelly
Dear Stephanie....wow, sometime life really dumps on us. I live in a small community. Everybody knows everybody. On the last day of August, three precious HS sophomore girls were killed in a head-on collision while leaving school. The accident was their fault. Our community was devastated to the core. A few weeks later, the Home Ec teacher at our HS was killed in a one vehicle roll-over while on the way home from watching the volleyball team play that the three girls had been members of. Her husband had died of cancer several years ago, and their three children were left without parents. Just a few short weeks later, two weeks ago....a young man (SR) from this same small HS of about 500 students, committed suicide. We don't think we can take any more. We are all numb from the loss and pain. I don't tell you this to further depress you~ but I tell you this to share that our love for each other is getting us through. We wonder why...why so much all at once. I know you're wondering that too. That answer won't come. Let the people who love you do just that....LOVE YOU. Sometimes in these crisis...words aren't necessary. Just being in the presence of someone who cares about you is enough to let the healing begin. Sorry this is so long. I want you to know that even tho I don't know you personally~ I care.....and I will pray for you to have strength to be there for your dad....and for people to come alongside you and "carry you" through these trials. Much love~
I'm so sorry to hear about your story Stephanie (& other stories too). You are in my thoughts & prayers. Your going through a hard time but it will get better. Keep the faith~ Blessings to you & your family~
That is so true Phoov! Sometimes some little thing someone will do or say, will carry you through and you will remember it always!
Hugs Squirrelly
Stephanie,
I am so sorry to hear about all of your heartaches.
I lost my very best friend, my Dad, three years ago to cancer. I lost my "child" Gus, my 10 year old golden retriever to cancer a couple of months ago. I can really sympathize with your feelings of grief over your father's and your dog's illnesses.
You and your family are in my thoughts and I wish you peace and comfort.
Just a thought for everyone: Please tell those close to you that you love them at every opportunity!!! I think about this so often. We never know when our time will come and I try to never let the chance pass to let my friends and family know how much I love them. It is a small gift that costs nothing and makes you and the recipient feel good.
Cindy
Everyone here at CC will keep you in our thoughts, that is what is so great about this community, we all support each other. Handle one day at a time so that you don't get overwhelmed.
Take care Stephanie, you do have the strength to get through this.
m0use
{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
<<<<<<<<<<< extends her arms for a big big supportive hug! 
sorry to hear about everything.....somewhere there is light in that dark tunnel...
Dearest Stephanie........I personally know the heartache and sorrow you are going through.
Five years ago on Dec. 6 my mother passed away...she was my best friend. I had moved her into my home and cared for her the last 2 years of her life...and I would not trade those days for anything. My solace with her passing was that she had lived a full life (84 yrs) and that she did not have suffering and that she was with the Lord. She had a dog for 10 years and she asked me to care for it and I promised her I would. Her dog passed away after a long illness almost a year later...and also just as with my Mom ...I held them both in my arms as they took their last breath.
A year later I had a heart attack.
Two years after my Mother passed away my dear grandson was born on the same day my Mom died ...she died at 11:21 PM ...he was born ...11:31 am. On a day that was so sad for me....God sent me my grandson to take away some of the pain of that date.
Last year we buried my dearest BIL (who was like a brother) on Thanksgiving Day.....
Then a little over a week later on Dec. 5 my oldest brother passed away from terminal cancer.
A week later my middle brother had a very serious heart attack.
This past August my youngest brother died of cancer.
So as you see I can feel your pain......these last few years have had a toll on my life...there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my Mother...but I take comfort that she is in a better place than I and that one day we will again be together. I also take comfort in helping others who are less fortunate.
And I always remember that God will not give us more than we can bear.
Stephanie...You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
And above all pray to God to give you strength.
We will all be here for you...
Debbie
I'm soo sorry, about all that. Life it's so hard some times, for a lot of us. 
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