A Little Confused, A Little Frustrated, A Lot Tired!!!
Decorating By lolobell Updated 9 Feb 2011 , 6:39am by Ninky
sometimes you just have to meet people where they're at...meaning....this doesn't define who they are...it's just a piece of their character..and i knew it when i took on the cake. i won't allow this incident to impair our relationship. life is too short. I won't say i wasn't a bit hurt and absolutely frustrated.....but, i can let it go.
life lessons...they come in all shapes and sizes!!!
Well said!! I am so glad to have participated in this thread. lolobell, you are a truly generous and caring soul! It is nice to find people who are able to take the bad with the good and see the best in people. That is a true gift.
It is also nice to see so many others here with the same attitude.
Happy Caking everyone!!!
Happy birthday to your son!! how old today? you do beautiful work by the way. as does everyone that has took part in this forum!
Thank you. He's 12. Nearly as tall as me and it seems he's growing in front of my eyes, LOL!
I've literally just finished his cake (only a quickie, token one, really... but how could I NOT do one for him?) so will take a photo and post it shortly!
Glad you're able to see past the situation and retain your friendship x x
So I peeked at the cake and my 1st question is- How many people did they need to serve because it looks like a 10" on a 12"? If so that's a ton of servings and inreality one way to cut back is obviously make the tiers smaller cutting back on your costs. I had someone recently ask for a 2 tier cake and sent examples of things she liked which were 8" on 10" cakes and then procedded to tell me her party was for 20 people and she was planning on making cupcakes for the kids already. Well talk about having way too much cake! Anyways- I think giving a $ figure up front helps with sticker shock and even the ones who say- We don't have a budget, we don't care about price, etc ultimately have a figure in mind that they beleive the product will cost. I think you were beyond generous. My fondant covered cakes with detail like this would be $4.50 per serving
Happy birthday to your son!! how old today? you do beautiful work by the way. as does everyone that has took part in this forum!
i know they don't seem like good friends by this story...but sometimes you just have to meet people where they're at...meaning....this doesn't define who they are...it's just a piece of their character..and i knew it when i took on the cake. i won't allow this incident to impair our relationship. life is too short. I won't say i wasn't a bit hurt and absolutely frustrated.....but, i can let it go.
life lessons...they come in all shapes and sizes!!!
I agree with you here, definitely. I have recounted a story here on CC only last year where I supplied over $400 worth of cupcakes and cake, stand hire and delivery for NOTHING to a very good friend. She has no issue buying fresh flowers and bakery items for her home every week (not from me, we live in different cities), but managed to both insult me and hurt my feelings over the enormous (to me) effort of this gift I had given her. But we have been friends over 20 years and on the whole, she is a good person. There is this real disconnect between friends and business. Caking is not the only industry where people and feelings get hurt when someone feels taken advantage of, and at the same time the other person thinks they are still getting 'ripped off by a friend'. My last experience convinced me to just say NO to anymore friend requests. I will do surprise gifts - free - of my own volition when I feel like it. The only other free cake I will do is a wedding cake for my younger brother (whenever THAT happens!).
i guess i was never fully confident in my skills so i thought i shouldn't charge or i shouldn't charge much since nothing was 'perfect'....but, i'm quickly learning that no-one is perfect and it's a matter of my time, how much I'm shelling out to make the cake and my DH who is getting whiplash from shaking his head so hard and so often!!!! LOL
I have the same issue. I'm just an amateur, so I would feel bad charging what I should (at the moment I don't sell and ONLY make cakes for close family IF I feel like it). I look at my cakes when they're finished and see everything that is wrong with them. If I were charging properly for all the time and materials I would feel bad/guilty...like I was ripping the customer off because my decorating wasn't perfect.
I just wanted to chime in and say your cake was great! I would have charged over $3.50 serving for that cake and let me say I live in an area where people do not like to pay much for cakes.
What I've come to learn over the last few years is that my time is worth too much to waste it on cheap cakes! I was feeling "caked out" because I was spending too much time and not getting anything to show for doing "favor" cakes for people. I used to think that if I did a cake for this person then other people will see, etc. While sometimes that is the case most of the time I get people saying "what would you charge for that?" When I would tell them they would be like.... "for cake????" Yes, for cake.
Even though you showed them a receipt for all the supplies, did they even consider the gas, electric and water you used on making that cake. They should have been much more appreciative of you, shame on them!
I think you should let your friend and her husband order the next cake from the Walmart and just go and enjoy the party.
Oh I meant to add too...for all the people I used to make a cake as my gift for a birthday etc, NOW they get a $25 gift, instead a 3 days of hard work and $50+ in cake ingredients just because I am a cake decorator. AND I get to go to the party, sit back and be merry like every other person there. Let them get their cheap-ass cake from someone else!!
Oh I meant to add too...for all the people I used to make a cake as my gift for a birthday etc, NOW they get a $25 gift, instead a 3 days of hard work and $50+ in cake ingredients just because I am a cake decorator. AND I get to go to the party, sit back and be merry like every other person there. Let them get their cheap-ass cake from someone else!!
Good thinking!
It reminds me of a peeve of mine. I frequently give cakes as gifts for family occasions. I made a three-tier wedding cake for my husband's sister and told her that it would be their wedding gift from us. I really have no idea what it would be worth (its the three-tier in my photos), but at a guess I'd say around $300. Anyway, the day before the wedding my husband asks me if we bought them a wedding present. I say "No, because the cake is the present." So my husband, obviously thinking that the cake I'd made wasn't a decent gift(!), goes out and buys them a weekend's accommodation voucher for a wedding gift! I was so mad with him. It's like he didn't think the cake had any value - and he should know better because he sees how much time I spend on a cake! He did the same thing again recently - went out and bought a present for someone after he discovered that the two-tier birthday cake I'd made them was their gift from us. Grrr!! 
The Happy Birthday Alexis cake is beautiful -- worth more than $50 that's for sure! I have the same issues you do, people don't realize how much time/effort it takes.
Your creation is simply awesome As everyone said, Non-cake people have NO idea what the cost of making such a beautiful gift is!
Just the other day I saw an article about how much prices have gone up - just one of what was pointed out was butter up about 75 cents over 10 yr ago prices - here in the US. The article said US still has the 'best' prices over what other countries must pay.
........." 4 people on the spot at that party ask me to make one similar and one lady wants it 3 tiers for a 6 year old."...........
Tell please! Are you going to do any of them??
just in case i forget someone...THANK YOU ALL for the super kind comments about my cake and all the support and advice...it means more to me than you may realize!
cakeangel: what kind words..wow. I thank you. we all know how challenging and difficult life can be..not to mention the people in it..friends and family too!! In the grand scheme of things, this was nothing!!
dreamcakesmom: it was a 10 and an 8 inch and there was roughly 55 people there..and YEP, cake leftover of course! I warned her!
Evoir: WOW! $400 worth?! wow. yikes. whoa! THAT is generous. I'm so sorry you were hurt in the process...rest your head easy that you did a very kind thing..and what goes around comes around.
As for your brother! HA HA HA!!!!
Coral3..Whoa! you know i can totally feel you on that one! I have my cousins baby shower coming at the end of March...i told her I would be happy to make her cake/cupcakes as a gift to her!! She actually said, "oh, you mean instead of something off the registry?" she went on to explain that her sister was the one getting the $$ break by me making the cake so she was hoping for a registry gift....! HA HA! Personally, i would NEVER say anything like that to anyone...and Actually, some of my friends agreed with her line of thinking...that I should still get her a gift...I'm still on the fence... I always try to do the right thing...truly I do...and knowing me, I will probably get her a frame or an album...sigh!!
love2makecakes: thanks for the compliment and the comments..I say WalMart next time too AND that gift card idea..... very smart!!!
kakeladi: ha ha!!! welll......i did book one for August..and I am doing one this weekend..super short notice but she has a very sick daughter so I said I would do it.
thinking ahead to my baking schedule...i have cake/cupcakes/cookies this weekend...cake/cupcakes..getting paid.. cookies: free for school
cake next weekend (free..but she is doing my hair for free)!
cake the following weekend for my nieces...so..Free.
cake the following weekend...might make a few bucks in the end.
cake the following weekend for my dad..free of course.
cake for my daughters teacher..free
and then the shower for my cousin.. FREE!!!
HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!
The best idea to ever come off of this site is that when doing a cake for friends "at cost", you give them the list and make THEM spend the day shopping and picking everything up.
- They must buy the brands you list.
- They must buy whole packages of things you will only use partial of. i.e 2 dozen eggs, even if you only need 14; bottle of vanilla, even if you only need a tsp; roll of paper towels, even tho' you will only use half; a roll of parchment paper; a whole bottle of vegetable oil, even tho' you only need a cup.
- No substitutions.
- Must buy certain items at certain stores. (i.e. I'm thinking of cake boxes. Yes, they would have to drive all the way to the OTHER side of Indpls to get the cake boxes I use because I will NOT put a cake in a wilton brand box that is sold at walmart!)
because that's what YOU'D have to spend to buy ALL the things needed to make the cake. The baker is welcome to offer the leftovers back to the friend (and if she takes them, she is no friend. The LEAST she could do is leave you the leftover supplies as pymt for your labor! )
Make them spend the time. Make them spend the money.
They'll get it, then, and only then.
Indydebi: may i first say that I use your butter-cream recipe on all my cakes!!! and it's a hit every single time.
and i love your idea!! my husband has said the similar thing to me many times over but for some reason, when you say it...i "hear" it!!! thank you for your input...
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