It was a rude e-mail, indeed.

Sure, you can argue back and think of some sly remark to respond back to her, but do you know what really urks people off? The 3 C's.

Cool. Calm. Collected.
My response would be, "I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your daughter's wedding by providing the cake. I am thrilled that the kids loved it!"

What is she going to say back? Nothing. Because she has no response.

What's the use of replying back with a comeback, getting upset all over again, going back and forth with the MOB and then ruining your day because of someone else's stupidity.

It's not worth it.

I also have the bride provide me the ribbon if they have a particular color shade. Over time, I have a "stash" of ribbons and show the various shades I have at the consultation. I careated a ribbon sample board with various size widths that we talk about. Also, I explain no wires and no organza ribbon. In there estimate, I indicate how many yards they need and when to have it to me. Once I explain, that they know their specific colors better than I do it would be more cost effective for them to get it. I don't want to get into getting what I think is the correct color and might have to return because it's the wrong shade.

When I have to get wired ribbon, I pull the wire out. Takes about 5 minutes. But that's beside the point. The woman was either being rude or doesn't know how to give a compliment.
As far as the cake, I can't see anything really complaint-worthy. The scrolls left a little to be desired, but again, really no big deal.
I love the idea of both acknowledging her email and not playing her game.

"Thanks! I hope the day was wonderful for you and you're getting some well-deserved R&R!"

I just got off the phone with the woman that cut the cake this past Saturday. I told her who I was (she introduced herself when I was setting up the cake) and asked how everything went in regards to the cake. She said everything was fine. They served the top 2 tiers and part of the third and fourth. There were cookies and candies also, so the left over cake was boxed up and sent home with people.

I asked if she was aware of any "comments" made of any kind. She said she heard only positive things especially about the red velvet cake.

I explained the reason for my questions (email from MOB stating she was not happy and comments were made, but no details). The woman from the venue had no clue what the MOB was talking about. She said "I cannot think of a single thing anyone complained about or could have complained about."

She then described what happened at the wedding and how people acted. I think the MOB was troubled by everything because it was no where near a "traditional" ceramony or reception.

Personally I would let it go and be glad it's done. I have a customer that acts very much like this and the more I deal with her the weirder she gets. It sounds like her daughter's tastes and hers were miles apart and she wasn't very pleased with anything that happened.

After reading all the OP's comments I'm pretty sure that MOB is just upset about the whole wedding in general and has no one else to take it out on. She's trying to pick a fight with anyone to try and deal with her disappointment in that it was not a "typical" wedding.

I would either not reply at all or send her Babarooskie's response.

"Your sides look nice and straight, and the whole cake looks nice and straight. No "squishing" between layers, looks like it was supported very well. BUT.......

......Well, I think the buttercream could be a lot smoother, kind of ragged around the edges also. The ribbon looks baggy and wavy. And the scrolls are downright.....awkward? I would have used a pattern press or practiced a lot and looked at other scrolls before doing that cake....I would have been very disappointed.

JMHO
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I don't post often but I have to say that there is nothing "humble" about your response to the OP's post. Yes, she asked for a critique, BUT did you really have to make the BUT 4 times larger to emphasize your point? If you think the OP needs to improve her skills, fine, she did ask for opinions. It's just MY humble opinion that there are appropriate ways to give constructive criticism and your way is not one of them.

Sorry.
JMHO