I was asked by my son and daughter-in-law to be if I would do their cake. Both expressed that they don't want me to get stressed out and want me involved in the last minute wedding preparations the week of the wedding. The venue is an hour and half away from our home. I told them I could make a display cake out of Styrofoam and cover it in fondant, decorate it in royal icing and gum paste flowers. The venue can prepare sheet cakes to serve to the guests. This will allow me to decorate the cake of their dreams weeks ahead of the wedding day. They were thrilled with this plan. When it comes to them cutting the cake during the reception, I'll have a small piece of cake in the back of the display cake for them to cut. HTH

I too was thinking the very same way as leily. That way she gets the cake she wants, plus with sheet cakes they can be nicely frosted in a quick manner & be fresh for the day!

You guys are just awesome!! Thanks so much for the replys!! I'll keep you posted on what I decide to do. I actually talked to my daughter last night about the "dummy styrofoam" cake idea and she thought that sounded great but then she said "Mom, what will we do about cutting the cake?" I said well that's a good question.. but I guess you can pretend to be cutting the fake cake and we could have a piece sitting behind the cake that can be used for the "feeding the cake" picture. She said "Well I guess that would work." I'm not so sure I liked the way she said it though like maybe she thought she would be settling for something that she didn't really want...I'll have to feel her out a little bit before we go this route.

Well you can always have the top tier be real, and they cut that, and then the rest of the tiers are dummy. I think a lot of people do that. Then they have something to cut on the cake!

[quote="leah_s"]

If you've got plenty of experience and can handle stress - and if you're legal, think about it a lot. The legal bit is that you don't want the venue to refuse to accept your cake after you've worked on it for several days and you don't want a guest's (if something goes wrong)insurance company suing you over your DD's cake. That wouldn't be a good memory.
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This part doesn't make sense to me. If you have a private party and invite people to your home and serve them cake, you don't need a food license. You're not charging them to eat and it's not open to the public. I'm also not sure how the venue could be held responsible for a cake you bring in...baked yourself or purchased from someone else.

I think it's wonderful you want to do your daughter's cake, and I understand completely. My son was married July 17 of this year and I did his cake. He said he wanted me to do the cake, but did'nt want me to stress so he wanted to keep it simple. The wedding setting was a caual one, outdoors by a lake in the woods, so we decided a cupcake tower would work well. But like others here have said you will probably find yourself wanting to help with other things. In our case the brides family lived to far away to help so I found myself saying "I can do that" to a lot of things (even alterations on her dress). I also volunteered to make cookie favors, set up the reception area and make decorations. And of course you will want to be beautiful for the wedding. I would do it all again, but maybe I would do a better job of delegating next time. Maybe ahead of time ask someone to help you set up the cake

I couldn't even imagine hiring someone to make my kids their wedding cake, when they decide to get married. I'm that type of person though. We have done so many remodels on our home and we do everything, never hire anyone. It would be the same with the cake, I know I could do it, so why hire someone. Maybe crazy, but if you're organized you could do it.

Well, I would do it. I actually was the wedding planner for my nieces wedding and still made the cake. I was a bit stressed but that was because it was my first wedding cake and in the end it was a simple cake. My niece just wanted a simple cake with fake flowers anyway. My mom helped me figure out how much cake to make and the basic set up. Several phone calls to my mom (who was 800 miles away) was helpful and she was a lifesaver in many ways. My nieces wedding was out in the country at a friends house. My hubby and I took 2 cars (one to deliver the 3 tiered cake) and my own car to transport items (like decorations, etc.) needed for the wedding. We were all able to stay overnight. So, we were able to set up the cake and inside decorations in the air conditioned music studio that night. We were able to relax until the next day. Next morning, we were able to finish the outside decorations and set up tables, shower and dress, and etc before the 6pm wedding. She had a Biker themed wedding and thank goodness she wanted everything inexpensive and simple. She gave me creative license over the cake simply telling me she wanted motorcycles to top the cake and that she loved roses. In many discussions with her, I discovered she also loved the double hearts that were entwined. I managed to find some silver double hearts to place against the sides of the cake. She absolutely loved the cake!! I would do it all over again, though.

Like many have said, plan your time well, be organized, and delegate. (My family helped so much!) It was the only way, I was able to plan the wedding and do the cake! Good luck and Enjoy your day!!

I can't wait to make my daughter's wedding cakes! I don't care what it takes or how much planning and delegating I have to do, I can't stand the thought of someone else making their wedding cakes. It would be like my brother letting another pro photographer take the wedding pictures--no way!

I did the cake for my last wedding....and for my daughter's. I'd make the same choice again, except I'd round up more help for other things and concentrate JUST on the cake. I was trying to do decorations and catering for both on top of doing the cake. Tooooo much! But, I'm glad I did the cake. I would have probably been hyper critical of anybody else's work.

When my daughter got married I did her cake, the one saving grace was that all tiers were fake except the top tier, which they cut. She had so much other stuff, we did a dinner, chocolate fountain and a candy bar that she didn't want a lot of cake.

It was nice as I was able to do most of it in advance.

Her cake is in my pictures if you car to look, the cream with the calas, gerbs and hydrangias.

Good luck to you.

My daughter got married on July 17. I made her cake and am glad I did. It was stressful even though I did as much as I could ahead of time. Made the flowers and wired them in the arrangements a couple weeks before needed then baked and froze the cakes the week before. I made all the buttercream a few days before too. I did pull an allnighter because the second teir cracked some when I went to stack it on the bottom teir so I made another teir. (The cake board wasn't sturdy enough to handle the lifting. ) The time came with letting it cool then settle then crust so I could stencil the lace design. I also put it on a masonite board that time.

My daughter and son-in-law were thrilled with the cake.
I think I will only do wedding cakes for my granddaughters though.

My this strand is getting long, but seeings as I just did my son's wedding cake, I feel like I can weigh in too. I"ll try to keep it short.
It started when My son said, "We're thinking about getting a dummy cake and having sheet cake in the back" I said, "Over my dead body! No son of mine is going to have a fake cake! I've been doing wedding cakes for 25 years and it's always been my dream to make my children's wedding cakes.
Then there was a huge logistical problem: They were getting married in Ohio and I live in North Carolina! We did all the food ourselves.
After much thinking and months of planning and praying, I actually found a caker in Ohio who agreed to bake the layers for me. (I paid for them)
I wanted to mix my buttercream the night before the wedding, but the rehearsal dinner ran late.
There I was the morning of the wedding, counting down the minutes, trying to not waste anytime. I had to decorate the cake the reception hall with people in and out, setting up for the reception. By the time I got to the finishing point of the icing, Viva-ing it, etc..my nerves were shot. I kept praying, because I can get cranky when stressed, and I didn't want to snap at anyone and ruin the day. I also told myself that there is nothing perfect under God, therefore, I shouldn't worry about minor imperfections. I did my best, and I had about 1 1/2 hours left to get ready for the wedding. (I would have liked to have an extra hour for a nap!)
I wanted to make a Grooms cake with penguins (family joke) but I wasn't able to so I made them out of MMF and the stowed away on the back of the cake.
I was pleased with the cake, but there were mistakes in it. If you look at the photos, you can see where the penguins were pushed too far into the buttercream, you can also see the border around the layers through the ribbon. I couldn't find the exact ribbon, and I actually used flowers and tulle which my daughter in law had picked out herself so I knew she would like it. The tulle, when placed on the buttercream was difficult to get exactly in place and when you went to replace it to get it right, it would have buttercream on it. I just had to let it go.
All in all, I am pleased with the out come.
Would I do it all over again?
In a humming bird's heartbeat!

Here is my son's cake, and there are mistakes on it.
http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1743834&sub=1743835

Since we can't post pictures here these days, here's a link to my daughter's wedding cake on Photobucket.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v188/Crimsicle/Cake%20Stuff/aprilswedding3smaller.jpg

It looks OK, but what you can't tell is that the entire back of the second tier blew out! I had used cylindrical flower vases to separate the tiers - pushed through the cake and resting on the bottom board. I thought that would be sooooo sturdy. HAH! The vases displaced so much cake, that the tier literally blew up. I had to glue it all back together before I could finish decorating. It looked pretty good, but talk about FRAZZLED! Luckily, we had way too much cake, so nobody had to eat the part that was mostly buttercream "glue." And, oh yeah...the flowers froze. For the entire wedding party. Never, EVER put wedding flowers in a fridge overnight. Water, yes. Fridge no. Did we learn our lesson? Oh, noooooo....at one of the bridesmaids wedding the next year, they thought it would be OK for "just a few hours". Dang things froze in nothing flat! Frozen flowers...not so good!

Anyway...I went to my daughter's wedding without a bath! And sticky.

Yuck!

So, the bottom line is - yeah...do the cake. But have lots of help for the other stuff. And be prepared for the worst, because it WILL happen!

Hi there!

I made my own cake too and it was very stressful. Would I do it again? Oddly enough, though I never recommend anyone make their own cake, I probably would do it again. It sounds like, from your first post, that she wants you to do it, so as long as she understands that it will make you at least for some little while, less available or even unavailable to do other things, then I say go for it. Mostly I would guess that it boils down to what will make things the most special for her. I agree that you should do as much ahead as possible, and hopefully she goes for something on the simple side. I also agree that you should delegate out as much as you possibly can of the other duties. That's my 2 cents worth.

To add my two cents in.... My son got married last year and I did his wedding cake and grooms cake. I prepared well in advanced. Took 3 days off from work before the wedding to devote directly to the wedding cakes. I had to rebake the cakes on Thursday evening because I ws not happy with the quality. Decorated them on Friday morning and was finished with them in time for the rehearsal dinner. The wedding cake was a very simple three tier decorated by the florist. I must add that the bride had her medical board exam on Fiday before the wedding so I have to say that there was plenty of stress all the way around, but I am glad that I did it and my daughter is planning on me doing hers when that time comes. It also helped that the brides parents hired a wedding planner and my husbands ex-wife was in charge of the rehearsal dinner. You have to be well organized and it will work. Hope this helps.

I'm in the same boat... my daughter will be married June 2012 and wants me to do her cake. She's understanding though, and is ok with it if I don't. This is all really good advice that I'll need to mull over before making a final decision. I like the idea of a dummy cake and kitchen cakes. In fact, we've already discussed doing a small display (but real) cake and kitchen cakes just to help with expense. Whew... what a lot to think about!

Talk about nerves ... I made my sons wedding cake 3 yrs ago First wedding cake I ever made, first cake I ever stacked.. I thought i was gonna be sick, but Iam glad after all is said and done that I did. Just plan the time to gert it done delivered and time for yourself to get de-stressed and ready for the big day!!! Not only was it my first wedding cake it was big we had a fountain and a grooms cake. they wanted chocolate cake with chocolate icing and fall flowers and I also made side cakes of butter almond cake. Like I said glad I did but it was stressful!!! and now I will have to make the next 3 kids when they r ready!! lol

Cakeglitz - i know that making your daughter's cake is very important to you and being their for your daughter when she needs you during her wedding errands is important to you as well and you can't split yourself in 2, so the best idea would be to make the cake dummy wedding cake with one tier - the tier that the bride and groom cut, being real in that way you can make the fake tiers way ahead of time and only have to worry about one tier. Now remember, there is still the setting up and delivery of the cake, but if you make the cake a simple and elegant cake, make sure you use icings/fillings that can be left at room temperature for a very long time and perhaps be able to deliver and set it up early enough in the day or maybe even the night before- it can definitely work. That said, unless you go this route, I say to you . . . . listen to your little voice, it never steers you wrong.

I wouldnt attempt it, I just helped one of my friends when her daughter got married , all i was to do was the grooms cake, I kept telling her that it would be to much on her let me do the cake or at least help her and she said no i can do it , just do the grooms cake and have it ready just to sit up and i will have the wedding cake ready and all you need to do is just add the flowers for me, I agreed and low and behold her cake looked like it only had a crumb coat on it when she brought it to the vinue , I had to reicing it ,ran out of icing then i had to add ribbon , then add the flowers, never mind that my cake was a two tier grooms and all i had to do was sit it up , good thing i didnt have to do anything to mine, i spent about 2hrs on that cake, and she didnt even say anything about how bad it looked she said work your magic, needless to say i didnt volunteer to help her anymore, its to stressful especially if your doing the rehersal dinner.

I made my daughter's wedding cake and I was so exhausted at the reception that I really couldn't have a good time. When they finally left the reception I just sat down and cried because I was so tired. I couldn't go with her to have her hair and makeup done like I always dreamed of doing. If I had it to do over, I wouldn't.... but she shows everyone the pictures of the cake mom made for her. I would prefer to be able to enjoy the whole experience more.

I'm going to chime in on this too. I did my daughter's wedding cake, a 3d Homer Simpson grooms cake and all the flowers for the wedding. The key is preparation and organization. I made all the gumpaste stuff a month in advance, made and froze the cake layers and icings a week in advance, and made the fondant a week in advance. My sister in law acted as my assistant in all things cake and floral. We started on the cakes on the Thursday and while cakes settled or we waited for something to dry and set, we'd shift to the flowers. The only thing I missed being a part of was Beth and all the girls getting dressed as we delivered the cakes and flowers then. But, seeing her in her dress as she walked down the aisle for the first time?.....well, I needed lots of kleenex and I'm not sure it would have struck me so intensely had I seen her prior to. Would I do it again? Absolutely in a heartbeat....I've got another daughter in the wings!!!! Beth still thanks me for doing it, and my daughter Amy had already given me her cake order! LOL! While it was stressful right at the end, there was a lot of love that went into those cakes, and Beth and her husband knew it. Here are the links:

http://www.khmcakes.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=25398399
http://www.khmcakes.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=25398513

Ha!! I did both my girls cakes. One, 2 years ago and the other just last month. The first daughters was a bit stressful, 5 teirs, covered in white chocolate fondant, and a grooms cake too ! I baked and froze the layers a week earlier and did as much as I could beforehand. The only thing was her wedding was like at 11am so there was not alot of time to get the cake in there in morining. I was able to drop it off and set it up the night before.
My second daughter's wedding cake was a bit easier for me, buttercream frosting and 4 tiers. no grooms cake. Her wedding was at 1pm so there was alittle more time there. I dropped it off in the morning early , came home and got ready with all the girls. can you say MIMOSA!? Only do it if your comfortable doing it!! I am very glad I did! It was alittle time crunching and some time finageling (sp)but worth it to them that mom made their cake! I don't think I had a choice! LOL,
Now after that being said about 2 daughters..... I have on child left to go to the alter! It's my son!! Yay! All I have to do for that is buy a dress and make the cake!!! LOL But we have plenty of time for that , he just turned 20!