Just been dying to say the following.....
Comment: "OH NO -- my cake has a bulge!"
my repost:
Well, put it on a diet!
Well, put a girdle on it!
Well, see what happens when you feed it too much!
Well, make it run around the turntable for an hour!
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sorry, just had to. (i know, keep the day job 
)
AND what is your common complaint and the snappy, silly comebacks you have for it?!?!? (from any source, here, customer, DFM (d.... family member), etc.)
Just been dying to say the following.....
Comment: "OH NO -- my cake has a bulge!"
my repost:
Well, put it on a diet!
Well, put a girdle on it!
Well, see what happens when you feed it too much!
Well, make it run around the turntable for an hour!
-------
sorry, just had to. (i know, keep the day job
)AND what is your common complaint and the snappy, silly comebacks you have for it?!?!? (from any source, here, customer, DFM (d.... family member), etc.)
Add these to yours -
So does my (name your own body part), but you don't hear me complaining! 
"It's pregnant?"
Theresa 
Does it have to be cake related?
A few years ago when I was still dating my husband and we both lived at home, his brother came home one day with a still. He had decided to brew his own beer at home. So for a few weeks, their house reeked of hops. Seriously, I could barely stand to be there. One day as I was picking him up to go do something, my hubby walks into the kitchen, makes and face and loudly says "When is that smell gonna go away?"
His mother, not even blinking replies "When you take a shower."
lmao. not even joking.
I had a teacher that was a bit of an odd fellow in high school. He use to love it when people would walk up to him and ask "Do you know what time it is?" He would look at you and say "Yes, yes I do." and turn and walk away. They always looked stunned.
He would answer your questions but only your exact questions, nothing more.
When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it. 
When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it.
When I see these, I always want to respond with ".....finish a sentence in the subject line?"
Whenever anyone says in that resigned way, "Kids...", my husband responds, "They taste just like chicken!"
He gets some odd looks, but I always find it hilariously funny. Guess we belong together. 
Does it have to be cake related?
No. Any complaint is fair game.
Whenever anyone says in that resigned way, "Kids...", my husband responds, "They taste just like chicken!"
He gets some odd looks, but I always find it hilariously funny. Guess we belong together.
and here I thought they tasted like "wasckily wabbit."
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
Tell them you're advertising for your dessert business. If you were skinny, they wouldn't trust you.
ohhh that's a good comeback too Thanks!
When someone sees a cake I've made and says/asks, "YOU made that?!" (always with the emphasis on the "you", like I couldn't possibly have done it.) 
I reply, "Nah, the house elves did it."
People always tell me I'm fat.
Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!
Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"
I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!" 
Ok so I have a doc that I work for who is about 6ft 4 in and he has developed this joy in making short jokes at my expense being only 5ft 2in. So one afternoon after surgery I was at the counter sitting and goingover my papers for the day he made some short crack and gave me that silly little smile to which i came back ...... Im not short ..... I.m fun size!
It worked and he has thought twice anout the jokes
I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!
I like to say "You can change being fat, but you can't change UGLY" lol
People always tell me I'm fat.
Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!
Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"
Unfortunately they do. 
And my DH gets so mad. I mean I have gained weight, maybe 10 pounds I am not sure. But yeah people I know always tell me that, like when I see someone it's the first thing out of their lips. I'm not the most secure person in the world and it makes me depressed, etc. Most recently I have boycotted family gatherings because being called fat at least 5 times in one night is really not my idea of fun.
Thanks for the comebacks, I hope I have the b*lls to use them
I just delivered a cake for a "friend" *HA* I used to work with. I told her the price on the phone when the cake was ordered. I delivered the cake and she says "I just grabbed some money..I only have $x.00" I WISH I would have said, ok-let me get a knife & you can have 3/4 of the cake!!
People always tell me I'm fat.
Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!
Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"
Unfortunately they do.
And my DH gets so mad. I mean I have gained weight, maybe 10 pounds I am not sure. But yeah people I know always tell me that, like when I see someone it's the first thing out of their lips. I'm not the most secure person in the world and it makes me depressed, etc. Most recently I have boycotted family gatherings because being called fat at least 5 times in one night is really not my idea of fun.Thanks for the comebacks, I hope I have the b*lls to use them
I know this is off topic but that makes me mad . I have gained a lot of weight in the last few years and No one has ever told me I am fat even though I am. I would probably take someones head off if they said that to me so if it happens again tell them.
" I may be fat but i can diet if I want to, I feel sorry for you cause there is no diet for UGLY!" That will shut them up.
and my favorite cake complaint..
Can you make a buttercream that isn't so sweet. Sure I will just leave out the sugar! and you can just have BUTTER CREAM... 
People always tell me I'm fat.
Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!
Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"
I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!"
Me TOO! and we are talented & Funny and smart... Yay us ! I guess you can't have it all but we have most of it!
In 1996 one of my headlights would chronically go out. I'd usually forget to change it and I'd be pulled over. FINALLY, after the 4 - 5th time being reminded of this... I squeaked by without a ticket, but here's what happened:
Officer~ "Maaam, do you realize your left headlight is out?"
ME ~ "You mean the other one's back on????" 
That was the last time I forgot to change it.
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
What. The. HELL??? Your next response, "I may BE fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
What. The. HELL??? Your next response, "I may BE fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."
I may go to he11 for this, but:
Child: But that's not faaaaaaiiiirrrr.....(sister) got (whatever it is they want and I won't give them)
Me: Huh. I must like her better.
(And yes, they KNOW I don't mean it...our favorite household joke is how I tell each kid, "You know you're my favorite, right?")
My other favorite:
Irritating person: can I xxx
Me: I dunno, CAN you?
And the one that irritates me the most...
At Starbucks drive-thru:
Employee: HI! Welcome to Starbucks! My name is Cindy (or Heather, or some cheerleader name), what's YOUR name?
What I WANT to say: My name is SHUT UP AND GET ME A LATTEE!!!
What I DO say: <sigh> Lisa. I'd like a grande sugar-free vanilla lattee.
To which they ALWAYS reply: Okay, one grande skinny vanilla latte...
To which I am FORCED to respond: No, not skinny. I can only give up ONE thing, and today I am KEEPING the caffeine AND the fat and FORGOING the sugar. <sigh>
And then half the time they get it wrong. It's a good thing they are so sweet... I do hate the practice of introducing themselves and asking my name. We're at a drive thru, for cryin' out loud, not a debutant ball!!!
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