I have a friend that has ordered a few cakes from me recently. Every time I ask her how everyone liked it, she says, "Everyone loved it... but it was sweet." I want to ask her, "do you realize you DID order a CAKE?"
LOL Maybe she thought she ordered tacos.
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
At 380lbs, I get this all the time, too. My response is, "Don't make me come sit on you." Though when I got the worst pissed off about it, I said to the jerks, "You want a business card for the hospital?" And when they went, "Pff. Why?" I said, "Because you're gonna need it after I'm done crushing every bone in your body with my immense weight." And then I stepped toward them.
Everything was right with my world when they broke and ran. 
I work nights at a beachfront general store... being July it's busy as all getout. So, we do little things while we can, during random lulls during the night... vaccuuming usually happens around 8.
People will walk in, see the vaccuum, stop, look at me (standing behind the cash register), and ask, "Are you open?"
My boss will often say (loaded with sarcasm of course), "I'm not sure about you, but around here we LOCK our doors when we close!"
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
At 380lbs, I get this all the time, too. My response is, "Don't make me come sit on you." Though when I got the worst pissed off about it, I said to the jerks, "You want a business card for the hospital?" And when they went, "Pff. Why?" I said, "Because you're gonna need it after I'm done crushing every bone in your body with my immense weight." And then I stepped toward them.
Everything was right with my world when they broke and ran.
I'm very sorry this happens to you (or anyone else) 
... I always think to myself... what kind of jackA$$ has the nerve to call someone FAT anyway??? I have a friend who isn't what society deems "beautiful" and was called UGLY numerous times growing up! It makes me want to break out MY ninja moves... HI-YA!!!!
I manage a bakery which also does donuts and pasteries daily. Everyday and I mean EVERYDAY someone (more like 5 or 6) asks "are these donuts fresh?" Oneday, I am going to look at that one ignorant person and say...no they are not fresh. We keep the fresh ones in the back!!! hahaha...
And this is not later in the day, but always in the early morning...go figure?
My day job is at a store that sells cake/candy making supplies. We also do chocolate favors. My pet peeve.. I am sitting at my work table, tying favors, bagging sticks or lollipop bags etc. and a customer comes up to me and says.. "do you work here?" 
I would love to say "Gee, no.. the owner lets the customers sit down and help out whenever they like. Would you like to take over now?" But, I never do. 
When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it.
When I see these, I always want to respond with ".....finish a sentence in the subject line?"
lol, I'm looking forward to the day you do that Debi.
People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.
I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."
HAH!
I'd tell them "Yeah? Well, I can fix my being fat. To bad you can't fix your stupidity!"
Gail
I am overweight and also have very thin hair people have told me I am fat and also ask why are you losing all your hair? I always say really, I m fat thanks for telling me I had no idea or I grab the top of my head and say I am losing my hair are you kidding me what should I do?
One time a guy was at our house right after we built it and asked if we had a bathroom. I looked shocked and said On no that's what we forgot.
Me after stubbing my toe on the baby crib: D*mn it!
Husband: What happened?
Me: I stubbed my stupid *%^&^ toe on the crib!
Husband: Are you ok?
Me: NO IT HURTS!!!!
Husband: Better call a tow truck.
Me after winging a book at his head -------> 
Ok so I have a doc that I work for who is about 6ft 4 in and he has developed this joy in making short jokes at my expense being only 5ft 2in. So one afternoon after surgery I was at the counter sitting and goingover my papers for the day he made some short crack and gave me that silly little smile to which i came back ...... Im not short ..... I.m fun size!
It worked and he has thought twice anout the jokes
OMG!!! I am only 5'1" and about 100 lbs I get small and short jokes all the time I am soooo going to use this.....!!!
At a birthday party for a 2 year old we attended I did the cake for (the max and ruby one)...the SAHM mom of 1....told me
"Oh I could do this, I just don't have the time"
I came back with
"well if you really could you would..I mean I have three children under 4 and I do it!"
for those who are the victims of barbs aimed at being vertically challenged:
seen the Dave & Busters Commercials???
http://www.daveandbusters.com/news/default.aspx (has the commercials)
http://www.adweek.com/aw/content_display/news/e3i8b27dfd84d2a3776679ac8d112f25c77 (story about the rebranding)
-----
so possibly something about
feeding your fun?
being more fun?
not a party pooper like them?
The ice maker in my freezer (where else) broke. I told one of my relatives (won't name names, but I'm married to him) so he could call the maintenance man and told him "The ice maker is leaking". He said, "Leaking what?". "Chocolate...whaddya think?"
Cupcakeshoppe, I know what you mean. Why is it that in some cultures commenting on appearances, particularly weight is not only acceptable, it's downright the norm. I get my share of "wow, you're gaining weight" comments all the time. I'm 5'8", 130 lbs so that aint fat at all!!!!
Living in Asia is H3LL on "bigger" folks like me. Other favorite complaints:
Sales clerk as I'm walking in the store: "No size for you!" or "XXL, XXL"
My response: I ain't got any! I'm left speechless by the rudeness. Help!
People in General: "Wow you're so big" (do they mean so tall?)
My response: Yes and you're so tiny
Cake/Food related:
"How can you eat what you made! I can hardly bear to smell what I've cooked!" (Is it just here that people claim to be so overwhelmed by the process of cooking that they no longer have the appetite to eat what they cooked?)
My response: My food/cake is just too irresistible
But really i don't have any comebacks because I'm just too taken aback to respond. I seethe inwardly and then hours later a stinging comeback pops up in my head.
Irritating person: can I xxx
Me: I dunno, CAN you?
Bugs me to be in a restaurant with a friend who will ask the waitress, "Can I have (this or that)?" Darlin' you can have anything you want as long as you pay for it .... why are you ASKING if it's ok to have it?
Employee: HI! Welcome to Starbucks! My name is Cindy (or Heather, or some cheerleader name), what's YOUR name?
Me: I'd like a small coffee.
I hate phony familiarism. I ignore the question. She won't remember and she could care less. She's only asking because her boss is MAKING her ask.
I hate phony.
How 'bout the time we ask for our check a Chili's. The waitress brings it to us and begins this long spiel:
"This is a customer survey, it pretty much determines how many hours we get, which translates into more tips, which translates into to more money, which means we can provide for our children. The higher the rating you give my service, the better it is for me"...
DH and I stared at eachother like, "Did she really just do that?" We put the cash and the uncompleted survey (Because her service actually sucked and we could care less about filling it out) in the little folder-thing and she picks it up takes it away and brings back our change WITH the survey and says, "Here's your change AND the survey you forgot to fill out!"
We picked it up and told her, "Your service was actually very bad, but since you insist, we'll be sure to fill it out appropriately and give to your manager instead. Hey! Good luck with those hours, huh?"
As Indydebi said earlier: I can't stand phonies...why would I pretend you were a good waitress to get you more hours when you were an atrocious one?
Employee: HI! Welcome to Starbucks! My name is Cindy (or Heather, or some cheerleader name), what's YOUR name?
Me: I'd like a small coffee.
I hate phony familiarism. I ignore the question. She won't remember and she could care less. She's only asking because her boss is MAKING her ask.
I hate phony.
I hate stuff like this, too. Like being out to dinner with someone who thinks it's charming to call the waitress by her name all night. Just because it's on her name tag. Thank you, Lisa. I'll take some more ice tea, Lisa. What's the special today, Lisa? It's so damn phony and condescending.
If I'm feeling ornery, I tell them my name is Fred. or 13.
We actually quit going to a nice Italian restaurant, because they would not quit asking our name each time. If I tell you my name, you should darn well know it if I come in at the same time of day 4 days a week.
I wish they wouldn't make those little girls wear name tags. There are all sorts of weird people out there, no point giving them your name.
My husband and I have seven children together. When ever we go out we always expect the usual stares, polite but mostly rude comments. Some aren't so bad and we ignore them but others are very personal and it just blows my mind how people have the nerve to even say them. They range from,"Are all those kids yours?" to which I reply, " No I just pick up seven of the neighbors kids and go shopping for the heck of it!", to"You do know what causes that don't you!" to which my husband replies with a big grin," Yup, but I just can't keep her off of me!" Some people aren't meaning to be rude they are just curious so I try to control myself but it gets really old. One day we were out with all of the kids and a woman was watching us while we shopped. I was waiting for it and she finally came up and asked if they all were mine. I said yes and started to walk away over to where my husband was. She then asked very loudly, "Do they all have the same father? I know this is very common to have a mixed family, I have have-half sisters myself, but I just don't think this is a perfect strangers buisness. I leaned over and whispered," Shhh, don't tell my husband but some of them aren't his. She looked so shocked and just backed up and couldn't get away fast enough. I guess she got a little more info than she planned on!
She then asked very loudly, "Do they all have the same father?
My husband is "technically" the stepdad to my two oldest kids (we never have used the term "step" in our house, so it's a funny word to us). Every once in awhile, he'll show pictures of "our" kids and someone will comment that "he sure looks like his dad!", to which my husband replies, "Oh? You know his dad?" Blows their mind every time!
I have two daughters...One is 6 feet tall and blond, the younger is 5'2" and dark brown hair. You cannot imagine how many times I have been asked if they have the same dad. I usually say "yeah, can you believe it?", but every now and then I just have to say..."actually no, but don't tell my husband, he would never understand". The look on their face is sooooo funny! I do try to be nice most of the time...
And cake related...Had a lady pick up her cake tonight. Her mom looked at the cake and said "oh my, how do you make a cake like this?" I wanted to respond "I just wiggled my nose and poof!" But once again, I was nice and said "I mix a little of this and that and just throw it together...no seriously, lots of practice!" I know she was just curious and maybe a little awed, lol.
I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!
I like to say "You can change being fat, but you can't change UGLY" lol
LOL@ response.
and I HATE the fat thing. I get it all the time. even after losing 120 lbs. (which ive now gained back like 50 )
I went to the hair salon, and the hairdresser said, you know you have a pretty face if only you werent fat.
Needless to say NO TIP, and I told her I have seven kids and three sets of twins and I think I look damn good.
People really can be so rude.
i ama uk 10, and used to be a 6/8. so i have had a lot of 'you gained weight' comments. the irony being that people that make them are ALWAYS bigger than me!!!! one ofthese days they will hear ' at least im not your size'
any come backs for this problem? i dont drink alcohol at all, and it gets very old with people badgering me about why, and 'oh we need to go out and get you wasted'. the funny thing there is that quite a few people have said they admire me for being able to not drink. but they still go on at me to drink next time i see them!
xx
i ama uk 10, and used to be a 6/8. so i have had a lot of 'you gained weight' comments. the irony being that people that make them are ALWAYS bigger than me!!!! one ofthese days they will hear ' at least im not your size'
any come backs for this problem? i dont drink alcohol at all, and it gets very old with people badgering me about why, and 'oh we need to go out and get you wasted'. the funny thing there is that quite a few people have said they admire me for being able to not drink. but they still go on at me to drink next time i see them!
xx
Yeah, you tell them "Oh, I've seen enough drunk people now to know that I've decided I NEVER want to act that stupid!" and walk away.
Gail
we do the designated driver thing. it usually stops any questionning, but if im out with my bf who is also a non-drinker, then you get the surely you can drink then. repeating 'i just dont drink' takes a while to sink in!
i love that smiley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xx
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