Odd Way Of Being "asked" To Do A Delayed Reception
Decorating By GenGen Updated 5 Aug 2008 , 9:35pm by GenGen
The wedding sounded to be a quicky, and possibly a sore spot for the parents of the couple until the last minute. Maybe an embarassment, or disappointment?
In any case, that may explain the hush hush/rush rush.
The reception, now an afterthought, is strictly for gifts. Newlyweds need free stuff, so invite as many people as possible to get said free stuff. Not very tactful for an unplanned wedding, but people do it all the time.
Would I make the cake for free without an invite? No. Would I extend it as my "gift" to the newlyweds having been invited to the reception? Possibly. Depends on how close I were to them. Sounds like you are close.
Plus, you get to play with fondant 
A free cake in NO WAY constitutes a perfect cake. I am sure if you decide to do one it will be gorgeous You do wonderful work and should be able to take on a challenge when you want!
Just a thought, but perhaps it was a shotgun wedding? Maybe the were initially embarrassed and invited only the family that would have caused an uproar about not being invited (perhaps the family that attended was not aware of the urgent reason)
After the event now passed, perhaps mom became less mortified and more the thrilled MIL--now she wants to share the event with everyone else?
Anywho-- keeps us updated on "How the Cake Turns" 
Hugs,
Val
well the feelings we've discussed lol so far are still on hold, semi simmering. i sent her a reply to that infamous email with 2 dozen examples of what i could do (yes i clarified there and here they weren't My cakes and if one was chosen would be given proper credit to) and then i found a few more and sent those on over to her yesterday; both Still no reply and yes she's been home. she lives across the street. its not like she can "miss me"..she has to drive Past my house to get to Hers lol.
so..... i guess its stay tuned. (starting to feel like i'm in a soap opera.....)
I really feel for grandma.. i've seen this same thing happen far too many times.
Okay - I am the first to admit that my mood this morning is questionable, so that may be having an impact on my reaction here. Understanding that we are adults and can 'take it or leave it' if we so choose.
Your 'friend' - in my opinion - is starting to take advantage of your good nature. How much time will you have before she does get back to you in order to get the cake completed? I only ask because I know some of my friends still think cakes can be baked, stacked and decorated within a day. That's why they also think they should only have to pay $20 for a three tiered, fondant covered - multi colored - RI piped designs with gumpasted flowered cake! "OH! AND can we 'borrow' your antique silver cake plateau - we promise we'll return it" (oops - my 'mood' is showing!)
Yeah the Grandma thing was a rotten thing for him to do! It was her only son and his only marriage. She's put it to rest now - too old to bother with something like that - but I just can't. We are having her 80th Birthday (BIG party - so far 100+ people) this December, it will be interesting to see if he and his wife attend.
Anyway, I do truly hope your friend at least gives you the respect of allowing for enough prep time with the cake. With some people I know I wouldn't be surprised if they got in touch with me Wednesday, for a cake they needed to be done for that Saturday - of course assuming I had nothing more imprtant than thier cake. OR .... even just call to confirm our attendance and then 'mention' that they decided to go with the Wal-mart cake. There's that 'mood' again - and I don't really believe your friend would do this to you - I'm just in a 'mmod' since seeing those B-day picts. I'm going to go have another coffee now, before I influence your mood. Stay positive, she's maybe waiting for some 'input' from her daughter - and we all know how tardy kids can be with things like this.
You seem like a considerate friend, don't ever change! 
she said in her email, the 2nd or third one after the "announcement" that her daughter; the bride and groom were going to elope so she did some fast talkin and got them to stay; talked them into a ceremony with family etc.. (mom's aparty planner in another life i'm sure) hubby was told by the grooms father that after they were talked in to staying they had to go shopping for a grooms ring; they didn't have one yet, had to get tux's and make bouteniers etc.. on an off hand they did a fantastic job of getting things ready in five days. but t hey have resourceful family members i think.. well some of them at least lol..
Not sure if it was a "shotgun" reason although after seein the bride the other day i'm having some doubts.... course it has been a while since i saw her up close..
again... stay tuned lol..
despite how i feel frustration, hurt wise etc.. the other side of me doesn't want to come across as bashing them; again i'm just venting.
I am having some reservations regarding the cake as last year i made a cake for her daughters then boyfriend's graduation (its my 3 teird dot stripe cake.. not sure if i have it in my photos or not yet)
kept after her for some time about getting a topper for it.. the day OF the delivery i call them and i get from the daughter "Um does it Need a topper"
i'm like Yah.. thats how its DEsigned!
mom paid for cake supplies. well some..
i think this week will be the tell tale on how it goes.
i'm having flash backs of last year..
i did tell her in the last email with cake pic ideas that if she still wanted the other cakes and wanted to go some where/some one else i wouldn't be offended. (cause i wouldn't)
despite how i feel frustration, hurt wise etc.. the other side of me doesn't want to come across as bashing them; again i'm just venting.
I don't think you ever came across as bashing them, just a little hurt and confused.
After hearing what the FIL told your hubby, it makes it easier to understand how she overlooked a phone call. I still can't believe anyone would be able to plan and execute a wedding in 5 days! Gosh, I would have thought an appointment at the JP would have taken longer! Cuddos to them for pulling that off!
I understand that you're really close to them, I do, but....sometimes you have to draw the line somewhere, even if you regret it, and it's possible that they just had to say, "No, it'll be only family," and you're not actually family. ESPECIALLY if this was the bride and groom's decision, and not your friend's. I've made my mother keep quiet about things that she really wanted to share with people, on occassion. That may have been the concession she made to keep the bride and groom in town, in fact!
I thought the tone of the email sounded more like an old-friends tone than a demand, myself--though it's clear that she doesn't really know how much work it takes to decorate a cake. Before I started doing stuff, and even now sometimes, *I* would have thought, Oh, something like this won't take long. Look, with that one you don't even have to make sure it's level! But it's also clear that she went to give you a wide selection for inspiration. So if you do wind up doing the cake, just do your best, and I'm sure it'll be appreciated!
yah the tone of the email; knowing her the way i do.. is that she just doesn't know all thats involved and doesn't think about the entire picture.
initially; this thread- i just had to vent.. wasn't ableto keep it to myself w/o it feeling worse or seeming worse and i knew i didn't want to give any impression back to them how i was feeling at such an important time.. had i been Actual immediate family- well the gloves would have been off sistah (lol) but like i said no matter how bad i feel at times i still try to take others's in to consideration...depending on circumstances of course.
considering the way the weddingthing was handled; iwould have appreciated being asked differently to do the cake.. she's never just assumed i'd make one for her before and thats how it sounded to me.. wasn't till the end did it sound/say "can you" or please.
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