My "inappropriate" Avatar And Ticker

Decorating By twooten173 Updated 5 Aug 2008 , 4:51am by Heath

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Rincewind Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:23pm
post #91 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

re fondantgirl's comment -- people, I don't think she was ACTUALLY wishing that other people lose babies -- she was probably just so upset and outraged at the hurtful/insensitive comments that she posted as she did. Has no one else ever said something under strong emotions that they might not have actually meant?




I hope you are right. I've never read anything on this website so absolutely.... Well, it just shocked me.

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margaretb Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:46pm
post #92 of 204

Rincewind (ha ha, awesome name, wished I'd thought to use it, or maybe Weatherwax):

When I read it, I took it as being in the same vein as saying walk a mile in her shoes before you judge or I'd like to see you go through this kind of hardship with the same grace and courage. Not to actually wish this tradegy on people, but more of a rhetorical (if that's the word to use here) expression of outrage.

I myself may have a slight tendency to run off at the mouth when I am angry, so I can see how things could get said that are, umm, inappropriate.

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CakeLadyM Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:52pm
post #93 of 204

I'm very sorry for your loss. But this very type of thing is exactly why CC has lost many good ones and yet why many others remain mostly silent.

If it had been so "disturbing" to anyone, all they had to do was either go to a mod or an owner and discuss it there privately, with some taste and dignity.

Once again, I go back to lurk...because it's really pointless most times to type out an opinion here. It's not like anything is going to exponentially change because of it! The pics here are great, as well as most of the advice. But all this "personal" (I'd say "crap" here but omg...I might offend) needs to get somewhere. It's a CAKE site for cripes sake!

Again, very sorry for your loss and the exposure to the ugliness of the other posts.

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Janette Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:52pm
post #94 of 204

I am sorry for the bad year you have had.

I did see the pic and thought it was a baby sleeing until I think it was your signature that told the story.

I've seen many av I felt this wasn't the place for, but then who am I to asked that it be removed. Just like it drives me nuts when someone ask that a thread be locked or deleted.

Altho, I do understand them removing the thread you are referring to.

Everyone grieves differently.

But, if you will understand I will give you another view.

I suffer from depression. I'm not one of those people that just feels sad for a few days. I have a disabeling depression. I usually don't let people know this but it's needed for this reply.

It is a stuggle everyday to keep unhappy thoughts from going through my head. I try to avoid them, by not watching the news and my friends (I have no family) avoid certain subjects with me.

Just this week I spent 72 hours sleeping (I do mean sleeping, not even waking to eat) and thinking of ways to stop the pain. Uless you've been in that dark pit it's hard to explain. And yes I am getting help and I've been in and out of hospitals.

What I guess I'm trying to say is now everytime I see your av I want to cry for your loss. My heart is truly heavy for you.

I do not ask that you remove it, I am the one with the problem. But, just for you to know that there may be others that this affects deeply.

I have disclosed something very personal here so that others may see a different view.

If members had a problem with it they should have pm'd you instead of creating a thread. Personally I wouldn't even have done that.

As with anything else on this thread if you don't like it move on it is up to the monitors to know what is allowed and not allowed.

You see Blessings all I see is an very ugly world out there.

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terrig007 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:53pm
post #95 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rincewind

Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

re fondantgirl's comment -- people, I don't think she was ACTUALLY wishing that other people lose babies -- she was probably just so upset and outraged at the hurtful/insensitive comments that she posted as she did. Has no one else ever said something under strong emotions that they might not have actually meant?



I hope you are right. I've never read anything on this website so absolutely.... Well, it just shocked me.



Yes, it was shocking but sometimes we do run off at the mouth or in this case keyboard and it's out there. I don't know her but maybe she's been close to something similiar herself.
I was a bit disturbed from the first thread by the negative comments and the cute/sarc off comments about how to "block" avatars and tickers. It was pretty obvious to me that many of these people have either never been in that situation or they just don't know how to respond so they respond by saying disturbing things themselves. But to me many of their comments were completely tasteless and off the mark and as such was just as disturbing to me but that is MHO.
Okay, off my soap box now.

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kurn Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 7:17pm
post #96 of 204

I too suffer from depression, I've taken medication for several years. I come to cc to escape the real world at times and even though I don't speak up much I am here every single day lurking and reading. I've been reading these posts from the beginning.

I am sorry to say this (and a little frightened of the repercussions). I may not be "disturbed" so to speak, but it does make me sad, hurt, bothered, or "depressed" to see a beautiful child that has passed away. I have 3 children of my own and I can't even imagine the pain of loosing one of them. I don't think I would live through it.

It makes me sad and I can't help it. I don't come here to feel sad.

I am truely sorry for your loss. This is your right to display your photo because it is how you are coping. I would never ask you to remove your photo.

I don't understand how everyone could bash those who feel differently about it. It is our right to feel how we do too!

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twooten173 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 7:23pm
post #97 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

Rincewind (ha ha, awesome name, wished I'd thought to use it, or maybe Weatherwax):

When I read it, I took it as being in the same vein as saying walk a mile in her shoes before you judge or I'd like to see you go through this kind of hardship with the same grace and courage. Not to actually wish this tradegy on people, but more of a rhetorical (if that's the word to use here) expression of outrage.

I myself may have a slight tendency to run off at the mouth when I am angry, so I can see how things could get said that are, umm, inappropriate.




This is the way I took it.

Thanks everyone for your support. To those of you who have shared your personal losses and problems - I have no words!

And yes I am ok! I'm going to go ride my motorcycle now icon_biggrin.gif zoom zoom.

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YAYI95 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 7:27pm
post #98 of 204

Wow, I just read through this post and honestly thought I was going to see some sexual avatar...I did not see the other post(maybe thats a good thing)....I first want to express my condolences to you for your lost and want to comend you for being so strong and getting through this..My friend went through this in December...Being on a military base wives always seem to be gossiping and many things were out there and what I told her was people always need something to talk about whether its you today or tomorrow as long as she knew what happened than what others said did not matter....I saw your avatar and told her about it, I honestly did not see anything wrong with it, she has pictures all over of her daughter and it brings her both joy and at times sadness but overall joy..her baby was also stillborn...
I am still shocked this is an issue for some but I guess to each its own...,
Know one should tell you how to morn or rejoice your baby..You do what you feel you need to, to get through this...I hope this does not turn you away from CC, and I am sorry you felt you had to even explain why you had your babies picture up.
Someone said that the heated topics has turned people away...well my opinion on that is....ignore it and dont comment...there have been a few i have read and am like wow and just keep it moving and do not let it bother me...Just my .02!!
Again I am sorry for your loss and Olivia's mommy's loss....Both of the babies are just beautiful...

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twooten173 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 7:28pm
post #99 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by kurn

I may not be "disturbed" so to speak, but it does make me sad, hurt, bothered, or "depressed" to see a beautiful child that has passed away. I have 3 children of my own and I can't even imagine the pain of loosing one of them. I don't think I would live through it.

It makes me sad and I can't help it. I don't come here to feel sad.

I am truely sorry for your loss. This is your right to display your photo because it is how you are coping. I would never ask you to remove your photo.

I don't understand how everyone could bash those who feel differently about it. It is our right to feel how we do too!




Funny when I see my son, I'm reminded to cherish what you have now. Not harp on the lose. Maybe i'm weird?! icon_confused.gif

Ok really going riding now. I'll be back!

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terrig007 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 7:31pm
post #100 of 204
Quote:
Quote:

I don't understand how everyone could bash those who feel differently about it. It is our right to feel how we do too!




I don't know if this was directed at me or not but the tone of the first thread was what got me down. I thought the tone was inappropriate on many of the posts (honestly I don't remember who said what and it doesn't matter). Yes, we all have our rights to feel how we want and I wasn't trying "to bash you". If you took it that way, well than I cannot help it.
For those of us who have lost children, sometimes we view things from a different lense than those who did not and are fortunate to have not.
I think that perhaps I will also go back to lurking as well.

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zoomitoons Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:01pm
post #101 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by twooten173



Funny when I see my son, I'm reminded to cherish what you have now. Not harp on the lose. Maybe i'm weird?! icon_confused.gif

Ok really going riding now. I'll be back!





I really don't want people to be sad for me either, I wear my child's picture on my necklace and in my signatures and avatars to show her to everyone. She was perfect in every way but God decided he needed her up there and chose me and my family to watch over and care for her while she grew her wings. I know some people think I'm weird but this is how I think and feel. I see my daughters pictures all throughout my house too, next to her brother and sisters pictures and they truely do remind me of how blessed we are and as you said, Cheris what we have now.
Enjoy your ride
Amy

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Cakepro Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:06pm
post #102 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherposter

Twooten:
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position. We come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.




Can not the same be true in reverse?

Think about it: we come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.

I am deeply, deeply, truly sorry for those who have suffered losses, but seeing photos of deceased children on a cake decorating website is indeed deeply discomforting to me. Do those who have suffered the loss of a child trump my feelings on this subject because I have not?

If I made an avatar out of my dead grandfather in his coffin, would that not make others uncomfortable as well? Is it more acceptable to have a photo of a deceased baby up here?

I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for parents who have buried a child or lost an unborn baby, but I really have to say that I don't feel it belongs here. On a grieving website, yes. On a personal website, definitely. But on a cake decorating website?

I know I will be lynched, crucified, vilified, loathed, hated, and despised for expressing a contrary opinion. So be it.

I just don't think it is possible that I am the ONLY ONE who feels this way. Go ahead and burn me at the stake.

Again, as I've said several times before, I am deeply sorry for the losses that everyone has suffered. I hope that people have the sense to understand that just because I don't want to look at people's deceased loved ones that it makes me any less sympathetic to their pain.

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MeMo07 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:14pm
post #103 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janette

I am sorry for the bad year you have had.

I did see the pic and thought it was a baby sleeing until I think it was your signature that told the story.

I've seen many av I felt this wasn't the place for, but then who am I to asked that it be removed. Just like it drives me nuts when someone ask that a thread be locked or deleted.

Altho, I do understand them removing the thread you are referring to.

Everyone grieves differently.

But, if you will understand I will give you another view.

I suffer from depression. I'm not one of those people that just feels sad for a few days. I have a disabeling depression. I usually don't let people know this but it's needed for this reply.

It is a stuggle everyday to keep unhappy thoughts from going through my head. I try to avoid them, by not watching the news and my friends (I have no family) avoid certain subjects with me.

Just this week I spent 72 hours sleeping (I do mean sleeping, not even waking to eat) and thinking of ways to stop the pain. Uless you've been in that dark pit it's hard to explain. And yes I am getting help and I've been in and out of hospitals.

What I guess I'm trying to say is now everytime I see your av I want to cry for your loss. My heart is truly heavy for you.

I do not ask that you remove it, I am the one with the problem. But, just for you to know that there may be others that this affects deeply.

I have disclosed something very personal here so that others may see a different view.

If members had a problem with it they should have pm'd you instead of creating a thread. Personally I wouldn't even have done that.

As with anything else on this thread if you don't like it move on it is up to the monitors to know what is allowed and not allowed.

You see Blessings all I see is an very ugly world out there.





Janette, Kurn, thank you for sharing....this was my point earlier...that for some of us, it isn't an "oh how sad moment"....it can turn into dwelling on it, to the point where we don't pull out of it for some time....But also as Janette said, this is our problem to deal with, no one elses- I'd just like to point this out as one of the reasons it affects people differently, so maybe some people can be aware that not everyone who disagrees is being a big selfish bitch about it. icon_smile.gif

We're all among friends here (I hope icon_wink.gif)...And I know that my friends and I disagree some! No reason to wish bad upon another....we're all learning here- and it seems like it's about more than just cakes!

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Solecito Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:27pm
post #104 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro

Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherposter

Twooten:
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position. We come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.



Can not the same be true in reverse?

Think about it: we come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.

I am deeply, deeply, truly sorry for those who have suffered losses, but seeing photos of deceased children on a cake decorating website is indeed deeply discomforting to me. Do those who have suffered the loss of a child trump my feelings on this subject because I have not?

If I made an avatar out of my dead grandfather in his coffin, would that not make others uncomfortable as well? Is it more acceptable to have a photo of a deceased baby up here?

I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for parents who have buried a child or lost an unborn baby, but I really have to say that I don't feel it belongs here. On a grieving website, yes. On a personal website, definitely. But on a cake decorating website?

I know I will be lynched, crucified, vilified, loathed, hated, and despised for expressing a contrary opinion. So be it.

I just don't think it is possible that I am the ONLY ONE who feels this way. Go ahead and burn me at the stake.

Again, as I've said several times before, I am deeply sorry for the losses that everyone has suffered. I hope that people have the sense to understand that just because I don't want to look at people's deceased loved ones that it makes me any less sympathetic to their pain.




Very well put. You read my mind.

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Janette Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:28pm
post #105 of 204

I think I will hit the road, and leave CC for good.

Now that there are two dead children as av. I too came here to escape into a different world. It's not like a thread that you can just ignore, that would be easy.

But, it means I can be here on any thread and one of them pop up. This is too much for me. It would have been nice to create a thread sharing the information of your loss and leave it at that.

Like I said it is my problem so I will be the one to leave.

I've been here two years and have learned so much and it was here that I meant 10 other members that became very dear friends that I love very much. But, I have them on our own site so I will always have them.

There are some truly wonderful people here and I have even enjoyed the "cake fights". Perhaps somewhere down the road we will meet again.

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ThreeDGirlie Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:36pm
post #106 of 204

I read this thread earlier today, but wanted to take time to pull my thoughts together before I posted. I just came back to post, but think Cakepro summed up my thoughts pretty well.

I think that it is the right of the person what they choose for their avatar. But I also think that to many, MANY people, pictures of baby that is not alive are very disturbing. I am a mother of 2 little boys, and can't imagine going through what the OP (and others) have gone through. But I also can't bring myself to look at the avatar since I realized what it was weeks ago). It doesn't sit well with me.

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FromScratch Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:42pm
post #107 of 204

Let me preface this with this.. I do sympathize with those of you who find it difficult to deal with the loss of a child and images of children who have passed.. but why make the people whom have had this loss feel responsible for your leaving?? You have the option to ignore any members posts. Press the button and move on. Don't make a scene here. icon_rolleyes.gif

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LadyHeathersCakes Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:42pm
post #108 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro

Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherposter

Twooten:
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position. We come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.




Can not the same be true in reverse?

Think about it: we come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.

I am deeply, deeply, truly sorry for those who have suffered losses, but seeing photos of deceased children on a cake decorating website is indeed deeply discomforting to me. Do those who have suffered the loss of a child trump my feelings on this subject because I have not?

If I made an avatar out of my dead grandfather in his coffin, would that not make others uncomfortable as well? Is it more acceptable to have a photo of a deceased baby up here?

I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for parents who have buried a child or lost an unborn baby, but I really have to say that I don't feel it belongs here. On a grieving website, yes. On a personal website, definitely. But on a cake decorating website?

I know I will be lynched, crucified, vilified, loathed, hated, and despised for expressing a contrary opinion. So be it.

I just don't think it is possible that I am the ONLY ONE who feels this way. Go ahead and burn me at the stake.

Again, as I've said several times before, I am deeply sorry for the losses that everyone has suffered. I hope that people have the sense to understand that just because I don't want to look at people's deceased loved ones that it makes me any less sympathetic to their pain.





I rarely comment and find myself wondering why I fall into the trap this time...but this I cannot let this one go without my $.02...

Honestly, if someone wants to have their child's photo as an avatar, whether living or deceased, is NO ONE else's business. If you don't like it then, do not look at it...very simple. It's called FREEDOM OF CHOICE, EXPRESSION.

I think it is a wonderful tribute - why is it any different than having a photo of someone like a deceased president or family member as a tribute as well - why?

Just because those pics may have smiling people in them?

Seriously, how on earth can someone find this "deeply discomforting"?? Is it only because you discovered that the baby was deceased and you thought the child was just sleeping? That makes it any less acceptable/different?

Obviously, if the child was stillborn, a person cannot have a picture of a smiling baby - of which I'm sure you would prefer and find more acceptable...unless of course you found out that child was deceased?

I thought this forum was for CAKE DECORATING ISSUES. icon_sad.gif

I seriously thought this was a cake decorating site....why is this even an issue to begin with - of which, from what I can tell, has nothing to do with the subject of cake??? Nor should it even be brought up in the first place tapedshut.gif ...again - if it bothers you don't look at it or read the posts...

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kr1970 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:46pm
post #109 of 204

Twooten- i haven't read all the posts here but i want you to know that your attitude in this season of trials is a great testimony to believers and non alike. Stay strong sister and look to the day you will meet your son and see a twinkle in his eye. May God Bless you the way he did his faithful servant Job. KR

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YAYI95 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:46pm
post #110 of 204

I do not think a baby wrapped in a blanket looking as if it is sleeping is the same as posting a picture of someone laid in a coffin....My .02 again if it bothers anyone just ignore or overlook it, there maybe another avatar out there that bothers someone are people suppose to change them to please others??? Im just wondering???
yeah we all know this is a cake site but for some this is an outlet also, especially when they cannot talk to their own family or people around them they turn to the forums because some of us can relate with what they are going through and we might just be easier to talk to. Im sure curiosity brought most of us to this post and in reading the subject, I knew it had nothing to do with cake...so if you chose to read and post than dont keep harping this is a cake site, im sure we are all aware of that..Just my opinion...

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indydebi Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:54pm
post #111 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAYI95


yeah we all know this is a cake site but for some this is an outlet also,




I consider you all my CC family ... which is why I get upset when you are upset (over stolen pics, upset clients, inconsiderate in-laws), why I celebrate the happy times with you (a wonderful compliment on a cake, winning a blue ribbon at the fair, hubby getting you THE anniversary gift you were secretly wanting), and why I cry with you when you need a shoulder to lean on.

Yeah.... it's a cake site. But it's also our cyber-family. At least you all are to me. (and that's why sometimes I sound like the bossy big sister!! icon_rolleyes.gif )

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FromScratch Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:57pm
post #112 of 204

awwwe.. we love you too Bossy.. er.. I mean Debi.. icon_wink.gif

This site *IS* more than just cake.. and I like it that way.

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cakebaby59 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:59pm
post #113 of 204

Twooten...
I am very sorry if my post on the other thread was hurtful in any way. I am torn in both directions on this...but I wish to goodness I had just kept my feelings to myself and prayed about why the picture of your precious baby was so disturbing to me...I have since had a long talk with myself and can see it much clearer...my dearest wish now is that you feel no pain over this whole thing...do what you must and forget the rest of us...and your precious baby was beautiful...God bless you and hold you in His loving arms...Linda

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Carolynlovescake Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:05pm
post #114 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro


Again, as I've said several times before, I am deeply sorry for the losses that everyone has suffered. I hope that people have the sense to understand that just because I don't want to look at people's deceased loved ones that it makes me any less sympathetic to their pain.




I think this is how some feel but didn't know how to say it. Thank you for putting the words there that others couldn't.

The forums here do not have the ability for us to disable them and not be forced to view them (a few do that I post on for other hobbies -yes I have other hobbies outside of cake - and I LOVE that ability because some of them are down right trashy and nasty).

Part of the problem is people feel shocked to see the photo of a deceased infant here on a cake forum. They expect it on a forum for that topic but not here on a cake site. So seeing it bothers them (understandably so)

Another part of the problem is that death is ooky and creepy to others. They don't want to deal with it here, they don't want to discuss it and can avoid it in threads where the subject clearly states that is the topic. It's jarring to them to open a thread about "what ever" and see a picture of a deceased infant forced upon them. (understandably so)

Another part is that the grieving mom needs or wants to see that picture and has it as her avatar right now to help her through this time. (understandably so)

This is where my grief is going to take control, so if my words are poorly worded forgive me now because I'm about to be posting through a pool of tears.

I just faced a serious loss in my life recently (just days ago). It was stunning, it was shocking and it was unexpected. I can't do anything with out it being done through a pool of tears. It's a fresh pain that I just can't move past yet.

I'm not ready for final. I'm not ready to move on. It was his time to go but not my time to have him go but I don't get a choice in this deal and I have to work to accept it.

Seeing a picture of a deceased loved one as an avatar on any internet forum I go to regardless of the age of the deceased reminds me of my recent loss and honestly rips my heart apart each time I see it. Fresh tears flow, and I almost can't be consoled because the pain rips so deep.

I know I need to deal with it but loosing him so suddenly and it being so recently that seeing a picture of other angels gone before us right now doesn't help me move on it paralizes me with grief.

As for her avatar and it being removed... There will never be an "appropriate" time for her to use the avatar because so many people here will always have a reason of why it's not right to have it. Her heart will tell her when it's time to change it and until then it is there and we all will need to have compassion and just focus on the words in the post and not the picture next to it. (Hard for me to do but that's what I'm trying to do).

If you stuck with me through this thank you. If I upset you I'm sorry.

I vote we all get back to cake talk and let those who have had emotions ripped open because of this thread get back to a healing process.

Sending hugs to anyone who's shed tears reading this because of a loss of a loved one be them in the womb or not.

Sending extra hugs to those here who have had a loss like this. Until one walks in those shoes it's a pain that is not understandable.

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jammjenks Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:06pm
post #115 of 204

Gosh, when I read the other thread I was beginning to wonder if everyone was disturbed by my "Children of the Corn" avatar.
<-----

Just kidding of course. (in an effort to lighten the mood)

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KoryAK Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:06pm
post #116 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro

Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherposter

Twooten:
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position. We come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.



Can not the same be true in reverse?

Think about it: we come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face.

I am deeply, deeply, truly sorry for those who have suffered losses, but seeing photos of deceased children on a cake decorating website is indeed deeply discomforting to me. Do those who have suffered the loss of a child trump my feelings on this subject because I have not?

If I made an avatar out of my dead grandfather in his coffin, would that not make others uncomfortable as well? Is it more acceptable to have a photo of a deceased baby up here?

I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for parents who have buried a child or lost an unborn baby, but I really have to say that I don't feel it belongs here. On a grieving website, yes. On a personal website, definitely. But on a cake decorating website?

I know I will be lynched, crucified, vilified, loathed, hated, and despised for expressing a contrary opinion. So be it.

I just don't think it is possible that I am the ONLY ONE who feels this way. Go ahead and burn me at the stake.

Again, as I've said several times before, I am deeply sorry for the losses that everyone has suffered. I hope that people have the sense to understand that just because I don't want to look at people's deceased loved ones that it makes me any less sympathetic to their pain.




I have to say I'm with you here. Aversion to death (as well as sickness and excrement) is a very valid human reaction. As sympathetic as I am for your loss and as much respect as I have for whatever grieving process you need to go thru, it doesn't want to make me look at a photo of a dead baby (or 2). It is very much like putting grandpa's pic up (not call cancered out, but laid up nicely), and I was just using that analogy with my husband this morning. I have shared the story of these posts with a few people and they are all in agreement that 1) it is not appropriate to use a dead baby as an avatar and 2) once you post something so private in such a public forum you are opening it up to all types of opinions and comments.

Its your choice to use whatever you like as an avatar. I am not asking that it be removed and I will not be leaving CC over this. But you have to understand that yes, it truly is unsettling and those of us who are unsettled are not "wrong".

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YAYI95 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:07pm
post #117 of 204

THANK YOU JKALMAN...i think you took the words out of my mouth!!! do not blame her for your choiceto leave this site. Ignore and move on is what I say...Why is everyone saying its making them feel sad up untill today no one realized he was deceased...For me it just makes me thankful for the 4 that i have.....
Indydebi i know what you mean....

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KoryAK Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:11pm
post #118 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAYI95

THANK YOU JKALMAN...i think you took the words out of my mouth!!! do not blame her for your choiceto leave this site. Ignore and move on is what I say...Why is everyone saying its making them feel sad up untill today no one realized he was deceased...For me it just makes me thankful for the 4 that i have.....
Indydebi i know what you mean....




I think most people knew all along based on the signature line. Just no one was brave enough to speak up and face the CC wrath until yesterday.

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Janette Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:20pm
post #119 of 204

Ok, someone I know brought to my attention to some of the comments made here.

There have been religeous and political av here that I didn't like but they didn't make me as uncomfotable as these.

You are wrong. If there is a thread I don't agree with then yes, by all means move on. But, if I am reading a (any) thread and have to worry about a picture of a dead baby is going to pop up you simply cannot ignore it and move on.

I could have simply made a request to the site that perhaps this should be given some thought. But, I was very clear on saying I had the problem so I will move on.

I don't know where you come off with telling me I'm trying to lay a guilt trip on someone (as I stuggle not to type what I would like to - just use ESP and read my mind). I can't believe someone on a web-site has angered me to this point.

I have a picture of the inside of my stomach, should I use that as my av? There is a picture of JFK laying on the autopsy table, how about that one.

Is there a line? It is getting to the point that perhaps no one should have an av, just names because members are pushing the line.

They could have easily put the picture up with out bringing it to everyone's attention that they are deceased babies. Tape an 8x10 on the side of your computer screen.

If they need comfort from members here than post a thread telling of your loss and I am sure they would have been overwhelmed with postive responses. Mine being one of them.

In fact on other sites I have a pic of Johnny Depp playing the roll of Sweeny Todd and chose not to put it on this site. It's not the place and I didn't want to make others uncomfortable.

Isn't consideration a two way street? This isn't something that has to be done, it is something that someone chose to do. When I choose to do something I give thought to how it may affect others.

I am sorry for the parents of these babies I didn't want to say anything neg to offend them. But, right now I am totally ticked off by these responses.

If I could only type what I wanted to. Think about it ladies of whom made the responses you cannot simply ignore something like that!!!!!!!

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Ironbaker Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:21pm
post #120 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAYI95

THANK YOU JKALMAN...i think you took the words out of my mouth!!! do not blame her for your choiceto leave this site. Ignore and move on is what I say...Why is everyone saying its making them feel sad up untill today no one realized he was deceased...For me it just makes me thankful for the 4 that i have.....
Indydebi i know what you mean....




Hi YAYI95 - I just wanted to make a quick comment on one thing. People did realize he was deceased. If not, this wouldn't have come up to begin with.

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