I would just tell her that those pans were expensive and you really don't like lending them out. And then tell her where she can get a less expensive pan like that.

I read what other posters said but I am one of those that is always letting my Wilton students use my tips, parchment and spatulas during class. I seem to be always lending things but havent had any trouble getting my stuff back. I guess I don't come from the "dont be a lender or a borrower" school of thought. But then again,I find that being firm but kind always gives me the advantage. I just don't want people to see me as selfish, and my personal belief is that I have been blessed with what I do have so I try to share those things. So far, as long as I tell the borrower "I will need this back in good condition by so-and-so date", I haven't had any problems and people seem to do nice things for me in return.

My daycare lady for my 1 year old is a stay-at-home mom. She is a wonderful person and also very giving. I try to make her an occasional cake or cupcakes for her family. She is also always sharing snacks between all the kids as well as loaning diapers from one child to the other if a parent forgot to bring them that week. I always feel confident with her that my son is getting his fair share of snacks, diapers and wipes, even if our daycare lady asks me twice in one month to bring "another box of wipes". One time she did this and I said "but we brought wipes only 2 weeks ago" (like one of those 480 count boxes). She said "yes, I remember, only last month you forgot the diapers so I shared so-and-so's" and have never questioned her since.

Guess I just wanted to say something like "what goes around comes around" or something like that.

BUT....I don't think it's good to let other people walk all over you, especially someone with 3 BMWs and a new minivan! but in general, I would encourage people to try to be kind to others and give as you can.

My friend has a daycare center. She "had" one mother she bent over backwards for. She has 2 kids 3 yrs apart and my friend has had both since they were babies. My friend started taking babies just for her. She charged her less then everyone else for her two kids. She stayed later with them, let her make her own summer hours, the mother didn't want to be bothered with them in the summer (mom is a speech pathologist) and was just flat out abused by her. They cried poverty all the time. We live in a very affluent school district that she works for and she gets paid well and the husband is a lawyer.

When her oldest child was ready for all day K she said nothing to my friend about moving the the 2 year old baby. Talked to her about before and afterschool care for the oldest and keeping the youngest there untill he was ready for kindergarten. She went on vacation in Aug and never returned. She stiffed my friend for 4 weeks of child care. You know why she left? Baby was 2 and potty trained by my friend and ready for the factory type childcare centers.

She eventually paid my friend 2 mos later. They had a hard time coming up with the money. We all have the same mutual friends and they were shocked and angry that my friend told people that they stiffed her.

Long story short she has to pay for childcare. She comes to you because you will take the nonsense of not having any money and all the other nonsense they can come up with. The big places are run like a business and a business only. No money no kids and they make you pay in advance. The big places will ask you to leave if you are not paid up.

I know child care is expensive. I have one child and had to pay for childcare and also to send him to another nusery school while in daycare (story to long to write about). It was my choice to do so and it was my choice tobe a working mom. Sept couldn't come fast enough and he is eight now.

Like I told my friend if she isn't screwing you she will screw someone else. I don't loan out my things because I am very anal about how they should be kept. Some people will not treat your things as well as you.

JUST SAY NO AND LEAVE IT AT THAT. NO EXPLANATIONS NEEDED. YOU ARE AN GROWN WOMAN AND DO NOT NEED TO ANSWER TO HER OR ANYONE ELSE.

I will stepdown off my soapbox now. Thank you for reading.