okay....don't hate me....but sometimes I like a little drama! Hey I am a stay at home mom. I don't do soaps.

That said, I agree, sometimes things do get nasty. Sometimes people say things that are uncalled for or down right mean. I personally try my best to stay level headed, but sometimes I do enter into a "controversial" subject and wish I hadnt! LOL. I'd feel terribly if I said something that ever made someone want to leave the site for good! I think it is fine to have an opinion, but agreed, it doesnt need to be a personal attack.

I think it would take A LOT for me to want to leave! A LOT. Personally I think I could get over misunderstanding and go on.

I'm confused

People are leaving??

Why wasn't I told about this?

Did I do something wrong?

Do we know for sure they are leaving because of controversy? It seems to me that if I didn't like reading the "soap opera" forums that I would just stop reading them. There is so much more to cake central than the forums and I know that lots and lots of people just come here to look at the cakes and not participate in the forums.

What really happened to emmacakes? She seemed so sweet!

Do you think maybe people have dropped out because the site has been wishy washy lately? I know this is my first time back in several months. From a look at the number of people online, it looks like the numbers are up, not down. Am I asking too many questions? Someone please answer some of them please.

One more question. Has anyone tried to email emmascakes?

Wow, sounds like I missed a lot while I was on my sabbatical and off of CC for a few months. I'm sort of glad as I don't like to see, even less, experience, all the negative drama. I left a non-cake decorating site due to such circumstances years ago. It sort of took the fun out of visiting that sight.

I hope things have quieted down now and to reiterate what Melvira said, I hope Shirley has decided to just take a sabbatical and return one day soon. To this day I still miss seeing Squirrely on this site, but I am lucky enough to still keep in touch with her elsewhere. Hopefully we won't be losing anyone else soon. That's always a shame.

Speaking of off Topic...

Hey Jan...what's with the new avatar?!? chuckle... I know life invaded my happy little cake world the past week or so, but dang girlfriend... From Man eye candy, to a real she-devil???

Laughing... Just could Not resist... If this is old news then wish I would have seen that thread.

You go!
Pat

Awesome post Jan!!! You are 100% correct. If everyone felt that way this board would have more members and some excellent topics would still be alive.

I wanted also to say... that I didn't mean to sound like this was the only reason people were gone... totally wasn't what I was going for..

I want people to remember the ones that have come and gone from here.. The ones who we remember always helped and/or had something great to say.

I haven't been here nearly as long as some of you BUT... there are a handful I remember being here that aren't anymore.. and they were wonderful people/friends...

In fact .. one apparently lurks around every so often because she sent me a pm yesterday saying she read the thread... and because of things that happened to her she refused to respond on this thread (sad huh?) ...

But I remember her and the others...

(((((Hugs))))) to all and thank you for not taking this thread the wrong way


Have a wonderful day CC

In my NEWBINESS I sure hope I haven't PO'd anyone. Let me say this though. I'm a moderator on a couple of Bird boards. I raise, and have macaws. Now you want to see some out, and out nastiness, that's the place to go. You have the Animal rights people on one side, Bird Breeders on the other, pet owners in the middle. Every group dislikes one another. Then just for fun ya get the troll that jumps in and stirs the pot just for fun.

I will say CC is a very wonderful place, and I've learned A LOT for the lil time I've been here. If I ever PO anyone do not even hesitate to pm me, and kick me in the butt back to reality.

Mike

I remember one post that made a huge difference to me personally. Someone was telling another CC'er that they shouldn't comment or criticize anyones cakes if they didn't have any pictures of their own posted. At the time, I had posted no pictures because I didn't own a digital camera. After reading that, I borrowed my in-laws digital camera and started uploading pictures. I even figured out how to add an avatar! So not all bad comments have awful results!

I try to stay out of the controversial topics - but I might read them, just like you have to look at a car wreck.

I work in production support, which means I fix problems. Lots of fun, huh? Much of our contact through users in through software that all of our users have access to. It's our way to document findings, ask questions, etc.

Well, we have what we call an "ugly check". If you are really ticked at a customer or frustrated, it can come out in what you write, whether you mean it to or not. So, if we are frustrated when we respond, we will have someone else look at it to make sure it doesn't sound worse that what we think it does. Our customers raise heck if they think they are getting disrespected and all and take it up the line quickly.

It would be really nice if we could all do our own "ugly check" before we hit submit.

Short story on my personal need for an Ugly Check. I was really frustrated with 1 customer and had responded once. They had responded and I was just flat out MAD and was responding back. This happened over several days. Before I sent my last response, I had a co-worker review it, but I asked her to read my first comment to them first. As she read, she raised 1 eyebrow up all the way to the back of her head as she read. I said "is it bad?" She assured me that it was much "stronger" than what she would have sent. At least I didn't get "reported".

Okay my two cents,and its long, my fav saying is "grow the heck up"
If the thread is getting to bad or hurtful,stop reading it, there are buttons to push, we all have feelings that will always be hurt,even if others do not mean it, but if something gets to bad for you, get off the computer go do something else constructive but for heavens sake,lets stop the whines, and enjoy the facts that we need this site(at least I do) continue to share and if your topic is iffy or you think it might stir something up,STOP,THINk, THEN POST!!
And if this pisses anyone off, I am sorry but enough is enough. I deal with 8 children under the age of 10 all day and time to time you have to take things in hand and stop the maddness.. then at the end of the day have a drink and relax,it really is the only way...

My whole main purpose of this thread... not a rant..not a whine...just a mere observation of how many people have left the site... due to whatever circumstance...

I had noticed and I am sure , well as you can see, others have noticed.

This isn't a rant, a whine or anything else... just a observation.

Great Post Christi!

I think this has kind of made all of us who have read it stop and think a bit. Granted we all have good days we all have bad days. Must of us are going to be on CC at some point during both types of days.

If you see a post that gets you all rev'ed up then take a few min's before responding. Your post may not be as strong or assertive. It gives you a few min to think about what your going to say before responding.

We also have to remember opinions are like@ss h@les, everyone's got one. Sad to say but so very true. Take it for what it is worth and then toss it over your shoulder. My opinion on a topic could be totally different then Christi's (just using ya as an example my friend ), but that doesn't mean I like or dislike her any less. She is entitled to her opinion and I am to mine. We may disagree but we get over it.

A note to those who've been on the site for awhile - take it a little easy on the newbies. I got jumped on more then one occasion when I first started posting. I made boo boo's and it was for the simple fact I was having issues with the site (go figure). I got jumped. It made me back off and not post or reply to anything on here for a good while. Just because your new to the site does not necessarily make you new to cake decorating, keep that in mind as well.

This is a great site, I must admit first couple of times when I was searching for something online I came across the site and said, well shoot that isn't what I was looking for and kept going. CC is like a drug, the more I came across it , tried to avoid it the more it tried to entice me....lol Look where I am now! A whole lot smarter when it comes to knowing how to do certain decorations, a whole lot more involved, and a whole lot richer due to the friends I've made on here.

People have events in their lives other than CC (*gasp* I know) and some times those events require them to step away from the internet world and back into "reality" - it sucks, I've had to do it on more then one occasion but I always at some point end up coming back. Have faith, your fellow CC'ers who have left will more then likely at some point come back - just be patient and give them the time they need for themselves!



*ends my public service announcement*,...lol

Alicia

"Days of Our Cake"

haha

Soap operas offend me.

I am leaving!

I for one will have to say i wish they wouldnt bring the election on cc, because thats something that will start trouble. theres two things you dont disscuse with a gang of folks is politics and the bible. and iam not sorry for saying it and i wont leave cc.....because i love cakes and my friends here...

My skin is the consistency of wet tissue paper, and I'm southern to boot, so yes indeed, I don't like people being harsh or "to the point" when they are being critical. That's not how I operate and it isn't how most of the folks I'm close to operate, so when someone IS harsh or to quickly to the point when being critical, it is very easy for me to be hurt and defensive.

But, I've learned a few things in my life. The first is to try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. The second is to try to assume the best of intentions. The third is the internet is REALLY hard to converse on. It is very easy to be taken the wrong way.

And finally, some people are just blunt. We shouldn't take it personally. Some people don't have a lot of manners. Again, that isn't our fault if they haven't learned the importance of grace and tact. Some people think that their opinion is important enough for everyone to hear. Sometimes we have to humor them and sometimes we have to ignore them. And some people are just mean, and that isn't our fault either.

So, I know a lot to help keep my thin skin from completely disintegrating. The trick is to put it all into practice every day. I am learning every day of my life how to express myself in a way that my listener will be able to accept and process what I intend. On the internet, that can be the biggest challenge of all.

I'll throw in my opinion just because the thread keeps staying on the front page...

Some of the folks that left are mentors to a lot of us. And of course some of the amazing people still here are mentors, but we're tlaking about the ones that left. And really, looking at their sites and cakes, they don't NEED cc. Sure, it's nice to chat about cake, but mostly they were mentors who spent time offering advice and opinions and experience for us to all soak up.

Frankly, if I were an amazingly talented decorator, had many years of experience and was gracious enough to share that with people newer to the cake world, and then people were downright RUDE back, then I would leave too. I've seen it too much where people are so gracious to share their talents with us and are berated. I don't think we should necessarily kiss peoples butts, but still... be gracious in response.

That 'sticks and stones...' thing is a load of hooey, words hurt. Nobody needs to thicken up and get over it, people need to stop being rude.

I agree that trying to hold conversation over the Internet is difficult. Inflections and emotion one would have in their voice do not always come across in writing and reading, and lots of times, the statement may be taken the wrong way.

That being said, I also do not know how much more of the shutdown problems I am willing to deal with. I am back to being lucky when I can get on CC during any time but 4 AM, when I wake up, and things are slow.

I have people sending me PM's which I cannot answer in a timely manner, and someone asking me for help with something, which I cannot help them with if they go through CC.

I'm not saying that I want to quit altogether. I am a member for almost 3 years now, and have made entirely too many great friends to walk away completely. But I am sure going to stay away a lot more.

Therefore, again, I ask that if anyone wants to contact me, they need to send the message through the E-mail button on my profile, not through PM's. If you use the e-mail button, the message will be forwarded through, instead of waiting for a reply through a PM.

Thanks for letting me vent about this. I'll talk with all of you when I can.

Theresa