YOu know what I just thought of and found to be interesting. I've read it here time and time again, that as long as the bride and groom like it - that's all that matters (taste/flavor-wise). THEN I hear comments on here that say they offer a free anniversary cake so the couple can have a fresh cake, but also because most couple don't even get to taste cake. SO, the only opinion that counts is the bride and groom's and yet we admit that most times they don't even get to eat it? What kind-of logic is that??

I tend to believe that a wedding is about celebrating the couple's union w/friends, family - the world! Love is too much of a beautiful thing for it not to be such. SO taking that approach, the bride and groom's opinion isn't the only that should matter. In my opinion, the couple should, yes, pick flavors they like, but also know that their guests will enjoy. Otherwise they are going to have tons of cake left over because no one ate it!

Just an observation.
(Don't you just love it when work is slow and your mind starts to wander

For one thing, I made sure to get a piece of my own cake at my own wedding! I can't believe that everyone is SO busy that they can't even eat dessert. If you have time for even one dance or one alcoholic beverage, you have time to taste your own cake.

And as a "host", I try to have things to eat that a majority of people will like, including the cake flavor. That is just my personal philosophy. So, I went with a universally liked almond cake for our wedding - we loved it, as did many guests. I guess some people take more of the viewpoint that it is "their" day, so whatever "they" want, even if it is unusual, is OK. (and maybe they want lots of leftovers for themselves if it is an unusual flavor!) It all comes down to personal choice.

Ya know, my mind thinks of these things too! LOL

When i got married 15 years ago, it was like you mentioned ccr03, it was about the celebration with family and friends. Chocolate cake is my favorite, but i would never have ordered it for a wedding cake b/c too many people don't like chocolate (Heaven forbid!). I had to make sure the hall made "mushy vegetables" because the older relatives don't like those "undercooked" al dente veggies! I'm not a big fan of country music, but most of the relatives are, so i made certain there was music they could enjoy and dance to.

I think alot of it has to do with the Me Generation and all of the reality Bridezilla shows. Yes, it's their day, but as hosts, they should take thier guests' feelings into consideration also. Especially since the guests are expected to cover their plates.

My .02

I have lots of couples that order a special flavor of cake that they like for the top tier and something more generic for the rest of the cake. Most of them don't wait until their anniversary to eat it...they tell me they eat it the morning after the wedding, or when they get home from their honeymoon. I think it's a nice treat for them to have when they return from the honeymoon and before they have to go back to everyday life.

I agree. When I got married, over 15 years ago, I really wanted Italian Creme Cake and this wonderful chocolate cake with raspberry filling that a local bakery makes. It is soooo good! But, my mother has Crohn's disease and wouldn't have been able to eat any of either of them. So, did I order those...absolutely not! We had plain white cake and plain chocolate cake and they were wonderful! It was much more important that my mother get some of my wedding cake! She had been waiting a long time for it.

I just posted something on this on another thread not 2 minutes ago.

It would be considered rude to have a dinner party for vegetarians and serve prime rib. So why do they think it's ok to make the cake or the buffet of things only THEY like?

When we are planning the cake, I tell them, "Let's start with the bottom tier. This is the tier that the majority of your guests are going to eat, so what do you think most of them will like?"

As we move up the cake and we get to the top tier, I tell them, "This is the tier that is all yours ... you don't have to share it with anyone. So what flavor do you want this one to be?"

I think that phrasing kinda plants the seed that they are not the only ones who are going to eat this cake.

When I cut the cake, once I get to a stopping point, I cut a couple of pieces of cake and take it to the bride and groom at the head table. I tell them, "Just because I know you probably won't make it back to the cake table!"

I ALWAYS tell my wedding couples to mostly do the cake for everyone else. But maybe on the top layer, put in a flavor that they love. But I also tell them to remember that they can't please everyone. I've had a lot of couples go back and forth about who's going to like what flavor. If they spend their whole wedding doing that, they'll end up hating their wedding. Which no one wants.

On the subject of cakes, when you all put filling in a cake for a wedding, do you torte both 2" cakes and fill - giving 3 layers of filling per tier, or do you all just fill in between the 2-2" cakes?

Thanks
Kendi

I guess I kind of disagree. i've been to way too many weddings where they think they have to do the typical cake in order to please people. But I cannot eat another artificially flavored lemon cake! Or dry plain white cake! Maybe everyone will take a slice, then take a bite, and go back to the dance floor.

Certainly if you know a group of people have a complete aversion to something, then avoid it. Like if you KNOW a family is allergic to strawberries, one bride said her grandma was highly allergic to chocolate so she would have to do something different. That's just nice.

But I think for regular wedding attenders, something different is welcomed! I had a bride last week order orange pound cake with cranberry filling. She was telling me she hates going to weddings where the bride and groom get a plain cake and won't even eat it. So I told her, a lot of people will eat your cake and be thrilled that you ordered something different and delicious for them, but other people are going to complain and wish you got the plain cake.

Offering the free anniversary tier is simply a marketing thing for me. It's a nice offering and a sort of a "thank you for choosing me to do your wedding cake."

But now that nearly everyone is doing it, it doesn't set me apart from the next baker. What sets me apart is the flavor and moistness and how I fill the cake. (I always do double fillings, like cheesecake with raspberry).

To stay ahead of the game, it's no big deal to do whatever the brides want, unless it is a yucky cake for a handful of people out of hundreds of guests that puts my rep on the line... I've never had a request for a vegan cake nor have I ever tasted one, so I don't even know if it would be yucky or not

When I got married last fall, I had the honor (insanity?) of making my own cake. This gave me complete control over what flavors we used. Since I had so very many cakes in mine *grin*, I did a number of different flavors... butter yellow, devil's food, red velvet, funfetti, spice, and strawberry. All were simply frosted and filled with buttercream, since neither of our families like 'that fancy crap'.

My DH and I chose strawberry for our top tier (which is now sitting in the freezer, waiting for September and our delayed honeymoon!). But I chose flavors I knew different people liked, simply because, while yes, it was 'our' day, we still wanted everyone to have a good time and eat till they popped. Some of them traveled fairly far from home to come see our wedding (but they weren't going to miss it... it was ten years in the making!), and I wanted to be sure they enjoyed themselves.

And since it was a fairly informal wedding, we the kids volunteered to be 'cake runners'... When different flavors were sliced, the kid would take the plate to the center of the dais and yell out what flavor it was, then run the cake to the nearest raised hand. They even got tipped for it sometimes, so they loved it.

Sorry so long...

Just my two cents.

I recently got married and between 4 different tiers (one for anniversary) and a grooms cake, I think we covered everyone. Bottom tier was white cake with lemon. 2nd was chocolate fudge (could not get out of the tasting with my mother without getting that layer!) and the 3rd tier I did carrot cake to have something different. Grooms cake was, of course, red velvet. I basically asked my baker at the time what types of cake were popular, obviously the chocolate and the vanilla. However, the carrot cake was the first tier gone and everyone wanted more! Granted, the chocolate and vanilla layers weren't far behind! I guess no matter how much you plan, you never know what is going to work or not work for your guests. I just had fun and tried for something that would appeal to everyone.

I had been reading about "cognitive dissonance" recently. Someone who sold wallpaper noted that only 20% of the patterns made up 80% of the sales, but when they tried to cut costs, and only offer the most popular patterns, people got bored, and did not order. They needed to see a few unusual designs to help them make up their minds. Anyway, the upshot (as it applies to cakes, I think) is that psychologically, we have to have some "less popular" flavors or designs in our cake lists or albums to help people decide what they DO want. I found this too, if I only suggest the 3 most popular flavors, people have a hard time making a choice. But, when they read the whole list, they inevitably say, "lime cake? who orders that?" and then quickly pick out a cake!

In the same way, it's an excellent idea on the larger to smaller tier approach. I guess it's good to not think of all people as indecisive, but rather, say to ourselves, "how can I help them organize their thoughts?"

And then they order, and we're all happy!

I kinda look at it this way: It is a little like you are having a nice dinner party. At such a party, you would want to serve things that are a reflection of you but also that would be appealing to your guests. So, I would think the best thing, generally, is to offer something that is appealing to you, even if it isn't your very favorite, but that you think your guests are likely to enjoy. Nothing wrong with being a little out of the ordinary, but it would be wasteful and maybe even rude to offer something in that case that you already know they wouldn't like.

And, I think a little differently about offering choices. I guess I think too much like a mom on this one! Choices generally means one item will become more favored than others, which can lead to not having enough of one and too much of another.

And, as someone with an egg allergy, I wouldn't expect even my own daughter to have a cake that was eggless. As long as there are other things I can eat, I'm good to go. If someone goes out of their way to make sure I have something I can eat, I'm always incredibly touched and rather excited. But sometimes it is probably best just to have something different for someone like me instead of having everyone have to eat just like me...especially in such a HUGE crowd.

LOL I'm of the opinion that too many choices makes it more difficult to make a decision!

I think it's nice, and appropriate, when a bride and groom think to have what their guests will/might like. I could rephrase this to say "I think it's nice when they order something other than 3-5 tiers of chocolate, because it's THEIR all time favorite." My dil wanted 3 tiers all chocolate because she loves chocolate. I talked to my sis, making their cakes, ahead of time and she convinced her to do the grooms cake choc and the bridal cake something the majority of the guests would like. She decided on a nice white. Later she told me she never even tasted any of the cake.

Many of the brides I see on those TV shows seem to want what they've never even heard of anyone having before, and few actually consider what their guests would enjoy. I love to see the ones who want to plan a wedding for their family and friends will enjoy along with them. They're certainly the weddings I enjoy going to the most. My dd's wedding was a blast, even though I had to do my own hair (oh geez...), and our family still talks about it 13 years later. The wedding, not my hair....

I'm working on cake and icing recipes and ideas to offer more variety. So

So someone said we should offer a few less popular/unusual flavor choices and that helps brides to decide more easily on what they want? Or did I lose something here?

MessyBaker - you're my kind of woman!!

Kendi25 - I've done both ways. I'll sometimes fill two layers with a goodly amount of filling, and other times have 4 torted layers with three thinner layers of filling. I prefer the t/f look when plated, and I think it makes a taller more attractive cake, whole and plated.

DoniB - I like having the kids help serve the cake. I have my grand daughter help with that all the time. They take individual orders and love serving everyone.

Debi - Very good ideas about directing the couple with their flavor selections. I like the idea of making a small "take away" cake for the b&g to have the day after or after the honeymoon. I will consider offering this when I do my next wedding cake.

Speaking of flavors, I just yesterday bought some Madagasgar vanilla bean paste and some Princess Cake/Cookie bakery emulsion.

KC bakers - I finally got up to the Baker's Rack yesterday and have to say I was a little disappointed. The have very few cake related books and almost nothing for working with gum paste flowers. I also didn't see one cookie cutter I was interested in. I hope the other supply place up there is better. So far nothing I've seen compares to the place in Wichita I went to for the DOS.

I'm really glad I saw this thread. As a BTB, this is really helpful for me. True it is MY day, but I want people to leave my reception worn out from having a good time! So their preferences are important to me. I want my wedding to be memorable! I know my wedding is still way off, but I'm OCD so I already have as much planned as possible. I, personally, am not a huge fan of cake. I know bakeries will do tiered cheesecakes and that's what I want. That is not what I'm going to have. I'm still trying to figure out how to go about this, but I will have alternating layers of cake and cheesecake. My FI, and I, also decided to do a retro wedding with lots of oldies music. You can't dance to the crap that's out now, and we want everyone out on the dance floor. A bride who thinks that the day is all about her and her wants is sure to have some grumpy guests. The b&g are hosting the wedding, and like the others have said, when you host any other kind of party it is ALL about the GUESTS! A wedding should be no different, as far as planning is concerned.

By comparison to what goes on these days our wedding and reception were probably pretty boring. We'll be married 39 years in June. We had a receiving line to greet our guests as the came into the reception hall, did the cake cutting and wrap around arms with the punch thing, opened the gifts there with our family and friends watching and zipped back to the chapel to do pictures. We didn't have a dinner there but invited family and close friends back to my folks place for a wonderful catered buffet. I was moving half way across the country to be a farm wife (at 17) in three days and this was my last chance to see my family for who knew how long. Like you want to know all this.............

I like weddings to be all about the bride and groom and their family/friend connections. If I were ever to get married again I'd want a dinner and dance in a wide open space with all my most special people around me to celebrate. Actually, it's what I'd like for our 40th next year. I'm married longer than any of my 5 sisters, AND it's MY only marriage. I think that's worth a celebration. Now, how do I get my kids to fork out and make this happen? I'm going to talk to my twins about it the next time we're all together. Maybe my sisters too.

I think I went way off track here, sorry.

Carol Ann, just take charge and do it up right!

I turn 50 in January and I'm planning my first 'real' birthday party of my life. Hubby said he should really be doing it. I said, "No, because I want to make sure it's done right!" (yeah ... no control issues HERE!)

*grin* Keep in mind, in my parents' case, that they considered my informal wedding to be a big to-do, and thought that more than $200 was a bit lavish... (I spent more than that just on the cake!)

I did a 35th and a 50th for my in laws. I don't want a big surprise thing. I want to be somewhat involved. I have big doubts about my kids planning something for us. Although my dd is a good organizer and her twin brother worked in banquets for years at big hotels and knows how things are done. Oh, now I'm just whining. It's a long ways away, we'll just wait and see.

Jen, I was going to ask the same thing! I have been looking for a really good strawberry cake recipe. Strawberry lemonade sounds scrumptious! Whadayasay MacsMom? Perty please? And what kind of icing do you like with it?