He's Really Starting To Scare Me!

Decorating By SweetArt Updated 7 Jan 2007 , 3:36pm by mocakes

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SweetArt Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:11pm
post #1 of 80

I'll start by saying I have a website for my cake business (mostly wedding cakes). Since I rent a bakery and work there at night, I do consults at my home and the occasional cake pick-up (of non wedding cakes) at my home. I have never had a problem with this.

But this person is really starting to bother me. Something seems fishy and a little scarry. After the e-mail I received this morning, I'm thinking of just telling him I'm no longer willing to do the cake. I'm in no way willing to give this nut my info and would deliver the cake to a public place if I did the cake, but it's getting too weird and he's getting too pushy.

He had left an internet phone message while I was out of town and so when I returned I replied via e-mail saying:

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Hi, Sorry for the delay in returning your message, but I was out of town. Please let me know your thoughts and ideas you have for your November 15th cake such as flavor, design, how many people it needs to serve, etc. With this info, I will know how to proceed with your order. Thanks,





The first email from him:

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THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE ABOUT MAKING MY BIRTHDAY A SUCCESSFULL ONE. I WILL PREFER THE FRESH FLORAL DESIGN FOR ABOUT 30 PEOPLE IN NUMBER.TRY AND GET TO ME BACK VERY FAST COS YOU KNOW THE DATE IS FAST APPROACHING.TRY AND GET TO ME BACK WITH THE CHARGES FOR THAT DESIGN AND ALSO WITH YOUR ADDRESS TO MAKE THE PAYMENT FAST. REGARD





My response:

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Hi, What cake flavor did you want? I don't do cakes with fresh flowers, but you could easily contact a florist and pick up the flowers and put them on the cake. I can make gumpaste flowers, but they are more expensive than real ones.

A cake that serves 30 is a double layer 10". The base cost of this without the flowers and if it is just standard flavors for the cake and icing is about $47. Additional costs may apply depending on the design and flavors. Once the order has been finalized, then we can discuss payment. Thanks,





His resoonse:

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FOR THE CAKE.I WANT THE CAKE TO BE A CHOCOLATE FLAVOURED,AS FOR THE PEOPLE IT WILL SERVE ITS MEANT TO SERVE 30PEOPLE, THE DESIGN I WANT IS THE LATEST EDIBLE 3D SCULPTURE YOU HAVE,AND THE SUGAR FLOWER SHOULD BE HAND MADE SUGAR FLOWER THAT COULD MOULD IN FORM OF GLASS.THE SIZE OF THE CAKE SHOULD BE 15INCHES.MISTY TRY AND GET TO ME WITH THE CHARGES FOR THIS ORDER.ALSO TRY AND GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR FULL NAME, ADDRESS,TELEPHONE NUMBER. MAYBE I COULD SEE YOU IN PERSON COS I WILL SOON BE LIVING TOWN.AND I WONT WANT ANY DELAY TO OCCUR. REGARDS





My response:

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A 10" cake will serve 30 people. Do you want that or the larger 15" you stated, that will serve 80? I'm not sure what is meant by "THE DESIGN I WANT IS THE LATEST EDIBLE 3D SCULPTURE YOU HAVE". Do you mean a tiered cake? You also stated, "THE SUGAR FLOWER SHOULD BE HAND MADE SUGAR FLOWER THAT COULD MOULD IN FORM OF GLASS", are you meaning gumpaste flowers? And what kind do you want? Roses? I'm still not sure how you want this decorated, could you send a picture of one similar that you have seen? Do you want it iced in white or chocolate buttercream? Are you looking for a fall theme? Is there a theme to your party? Thanks





His response:

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HELLO THIS IS TO TELL YOU THAT I WANT THE 15INCHES HAS MENTIONED.YES AS FOR THE DESIGNS I MEAN A TIERD CAKE.FOR THE SUGAR FLOWER IMEAN THE GUMPASTE IN ROSES.I NEED A CAKE TOP THAT SUIT A BIRTHDAY CAKE. I WANT ITS ICED IN CHOCOLATE BUTTERECREAMED.THIS ORDER IS TAKING TO LONG MISTY,I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING FAST COS MY BIRTHDAY AS YOU KNOW IS FAST APPROACHING.GET BACK TO ME WITH THE CHARGES AND YOUR OTHER INFORMATIONS LIKE YOUR FULL NAME,ADDRESS,TELEPHONE NUMBER AND OTHER NECCESSARY INFO FOR THE PAYMENT TO COMMENCE. REGARDS





I've never had to tell someone they give me the creeps and I want nothing to do with them (obvisiously I wouldn't put it like that), but I'm no longer comfortable with this situation. I can't lie to him, but I need to make him go away, and I don't want to say anything that may "set him off". Maybe I'm being a little silly, but I'm still bothered by this.

79 replies
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Tuggy Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:24pm
post #2 of 80

I really can understand your feelings. It sounds really strange.

Maybe you can just tell him the truth, that you feel uncomfortable with this order and won´t do it. So you don´t have to lie.

Good luck

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awolf24 Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:24pm
post #3 of 80

I agree with you - it does sound a little weird, starting with his exacting requirements for a much larger cake than he needs and then it gets really weird with his insistence that it all be done "fast" and his request for all of your personal information. I know you don't want to be untruthful with him but I think maybe you should gracefully decline, mention that something has come up and you are very sorry but unable to fill his order, just say thanks, and that's it.

It is weird enough that I would feel uncomfortable filling the order for this person and there is no need to put yourself in that situation.

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thecakemaker Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:25pm
post #4 of 80

Sounds creepy to me! Maybe you could tell him that while he was trying to decide what he wanted you accepted another order for that day and can't accomodate him.

Debbie

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mbasic Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:28pm
post #5 of 80

I would be concerned also. This cake order may be worth cancelling.

If you want to salvage the order, I would try to get this person on the phone to nail down what he/she is after. I would then email them back with the details that you glean from the phone conversastion with a request that they immediately respond with a yes or a no to your email by XX/XX/XXXX (whatever date you are comfortable with). Any changes beyond that date will be an additional $20.00 (or whatever amount you are comfortable with.) The return email then becomes the contract.

Good luck

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JenJen1 Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:29pm
post #6 of 80

I don't think you're being silly. He does sound a little "odd". He's not being specific on what he's looking for and where is his terminology of the design coming form????? What does he mean by "mould in a form of glass"

Ask him if he could send you a picture so that you're both on the same page. I think you should maybe e-mail him one last time and if he's still not giving you something to work with...Apologize and tell him that you don't think you'll be able to make his birthday "dream" cake.

What an odd bird. Good Luck...please keep us (at least me) posted on the results of this creepy cake man

Jen

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bakedandiced Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:31pm
post #7 of 80

Reading it gives me the creeps too. I am a little leary that he is so set on getting your full name and address to get you payment, but then he's not exactly telling you what design he wants. A tiered cake with flowers for a males birthday in chocolate buttercream........Sounds a little fishy to me Perhaps you could format an email to read I have to have these questions answered before I can proceed with making any sort of determination on your cake.

Name:

Flavor of cake:

How many people to feed:

etc.

Then once you get his name I would try and check it against a local phone directory to see if there is such a person listed.

Or better yet, send an apology email saying that since this has not proceeded fast enough regretfully you are booked for that day.

Best of luck - let us know how it turns out.

Gail

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monizcel Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:32pm
post #8 of 80

sweetart,

I think this is an internet scam to get your mailing address and information. I read about this at cakescanada.com recently and once they have your information they can use it for identity theft etc.

I believe what they really want to do is send you a cheque (overpay you) and then ask for you to refund the 'extra' portion. Don't do this this!!! it is similar to money laundering and is illegal.

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debsuewoo Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:34pm
post #9 of 80

Sounds to me that potential customer is playing you. Look at his spelling.... more of a European spelling of English than local. Tell homeboy to take a flying leap and go on with your life unless he can prove locality.

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mocakes Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:39pm
post #10 of 80

My dad who is a policeman would always say to us kids, "When in doubt...DON'T"

It kept me out of trouble then, and I still use it as an adult. You have to trust what your instincts tell you!

Let us know what happens!!

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lu9129 Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:46pm
post #11 of 80

This guy sounds like a nutcase!! My personal opinion is dump him. He does not need all of your information to order a cake. All he needs to do is give you his order. You already told him how much. DUMP HIM!!!!
Your safety along with your families is worth alot more than $47.00!!!!!

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lapazlady Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:48pm
post #12 of 80

Dump him! And save all the e-mails. He may just be a jerk playing with you, but there is no reason not to be careful. A cake is not worth trouble. He is clearly a bit odd. There are plenty of real customers out there that won't give you any problems. See if you can find a simple, direct way to make him go away.

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Tiffysma Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 1:48pm
post #13 of 80

This guy sounds just like one that contacted me about massage through AMTA web site, where only my email address was listed. (Literally, the sound of the emails are way too similar). I started to get nervous about it. He kept stating that he was going to be in my town and wanted a massage for himself and his boss. I quoted him a high price, thinking he would be discouraged. I told him I wan't availabe for his dates, and he changed the date. I also gave him the contact for another massage business, that was a professional business with many massage therapists employed. I work for myself. He kept insisting on my address, etc to have a check cut from his work. (I don't know any business that would pay for massage for a travelling employee, do you?)

I finally just had to tell him I could not do it and not to contact me again. He was freaking me out, becoming very insistant.

I think he was trying to get my personal information, perhaps for identity theft or something not right. I'd say if you are feeling suspicioius, don't have any more contact with him. When I told him no, he kept saying to please not cancel, that he really wanted to do this. It was too scarey to me too!

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auntsushi Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:01pm
post #14 of 80

My initial reaction from the e-mails was he is being WAY TOO PUSHY. He doesn't even know what he wants for a cake (he is trying to pull information out of YOU for ideas, which is fine....) BUT he sure is wanting that personal information of yours. In this day and age, how do you even know someone is REAL if you don't talk to him in person. I would personally insist that he give you a phone number where YOU CAN CALL HIM to finalize details. I bet you never hear from him again (or you will hear excuses why you can't call).

I believe that God gave us intuition for a reason (seriously). Your conscience is telling you this is just not right. And if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well, it's probably a duck (or a scammer in this case). If it were me, I would tell him that you're so sorry but you had something come up and you are just not able to do the cake (ok, so you had to wash the dog, or do your nails, or the laundry). You have the right to bow out gracefully if you can't do it, in my opinion.

Good luck and let us know how this comes out for you. It sounds creepy to me.

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socake Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:10pm
post #15 of 80

a simple return email saying that you appologise for the inconvenience but you will no longer be able to make the cake for him due to personal reasons. Then maybe refer him to a bakery somewhere in your area (but not your local bakery) Appologise once again then leave it at that. Do not respond to any further emails from him and if they keep comming then report him to the police if you still feel uncomfortable.

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ge978 Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:32pm
post #16 of 80

Actually, when i first read the emails from him I thought internet scam. I get these every time i list something on the internet....the fact that he uses all caps & is very insistent on getting your information is a give away. I've never had anyone order from me with their main concern being where I live so they can get me a check without even giving me a description of the cake. I say if you have to lie then lie...he's obviously not serious about this order. Just tell him no and forget about it.

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sweetattitude Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:41pm
post #17 of 80

Sweetart, in my "day" job I work with victims of crime and when we talk about crime prevention we have one hard and fast rule: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. It doesn't matter why, but if you do not feel comfortable, then send this guy a short, simple email saying something like I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, however I am unable to accept your order. Do not feel obligated to give him reasons why, that would give him a reason to email you again.

If he responds and pleads/begs etc. email him back stating again you cannot fill the order and then ignore any further communications from him.

I hope this helps, Good Luck!

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flavacakes Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:50pm
post #18 of 80

I definately would NOT do business with that person! That gave me the creeps too. Follow your insticts and tell them you cannot do it!! It's not worth it!! icon_wink.gif

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fourangelsmommie Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 2:59pm
post #19 of 80

There is something wrong with this guy. At first I thought maybe he was foreign and just didn't know English very well, but since he just keeps telling you to hurry and give him your personal info.....no way.

If you don't want to lie but you also don't want to deal with him, just mark his emails as spam or block them. Just don't even respond back to him.

Better to be safe than sorry.

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bjfranco Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:00pm
post #20 of 80

My first thoughts were he is from another country because of the wording and poor choice of words. I would email him back and advise that you need to communicate through phone calls and can only continue with a check in the amount of $? for a deposit OR just nicely decline and give him a name to another bakery.

I hate being in uncomfortable situations like that.

Let us know what happens.

bj

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oceanspitfire Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:02pm
post #21 of 80

Agreed that is just too creepy. If it feels wrong, it usually is. And if it's not, well not a huge loss. Better safe than sorry as was said already.

Good for you for not listing address info on your website. No harm in bowng out gracefully and ignoring any future emails. Good luck!

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pattycakescookies Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:04pm
post #22 of 80

Everyone here has given you SOLID advice but I can't stress enough the importance of trusting your instinct. I found myself the victim of armed robbery before and just before he approached me from behind and pulled out the knife something was telling me to run I knew something was wrong but my initial reaction was fear and then I second guessed myself and in my moment of hesitation it was too late. I was blessed that he did not hurt me he just got away with my purse but had I ran as like my first instinct told me it may have deterred him. Trust your gut better safe than sorry.

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acgref Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:05pm
post #23 of 80

I agree with someone else who posted in this thread...his spelling is Canadian/European and since you're in Nebraska (I think that's what I saw) I find it unlikely that this is for real. His english is also very bad. Granted, he could have just moved there, but what are the odds?

I think you should send him one e-mail listing all the things he needs to clarify...flavour, filling etc...in list format so he can just fill it in and not miss anything. In this list, ask for HIS full name, full home address, and home phone number so YOU can send HIM a bill for the cake.

When he responds, if he does, if all the information is not there, e-mail back and tell him that since he is not willing to provide you with the vital information you need to run your business, you cannot fill his order. Tell him you consider the matter closed and will not accept any more e-mails from him.

If he continues to harass you, contact police and give them all the emails he has sent you. If he did provide his name, address and phone number to you, great, they have something to go on, even if they're not real.

Like someone else said, your safety isn't worth the $47 of making this cake.

Good luck and let us know what happens!

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LeeAnn Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:07pm
post #24 of 80

Yes THIS IS ODD he is feeding off your information, start at the beginning you are asking him questions that he feeds off and give you the reply you want to hear. Just say I am really sorry but I have just received a big order and I am unable to do your request or say it will be $250 and unimaginable price and see what he says if he is still pushing he is up to something keep his info and pass it on to the police they will sort him out. Good luck let us know what happens. He sounds weird how many cake orders do we have last minute no one cares if they order last minute/ only us the baker. Definetly weird. Or just do not answer any more..

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ladyonzlake Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:08pm
post #25 of 80

Yes, I agree with everyone else. Trust your insticts. It is very odd that he keeps requesting your personal info and he does sound like he's foreign. I agree that you should just let him know that you will not be able to do this order for him. It's best to be safe.
Jacqui

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Derby Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:13pm
post #26 of 80

OMG! I saw a show either 20/20 or Dateline that was about these type of scams! They real you in, get your personal information, get a big check to you, ask for the refund, steal your identity. The big check they send needs a fast refund of the change and their check bounces after you send them their refund. It's a way of laundering money.

I'm not a paranoid person AT ALL...so when my hairs raise...there's trouble!

Please do not do this cake....write to him that you decline his order. Everyone on here seems to be giving very excellent advice. You are VERY SMART to have posted your gut instints with us.

We've got your back, girl!!!

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daisyblue Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:20pm
post #27 of 80

Give me a break!!! His e-mails are a crock!! His 'birthday' is 17 days away & he's soooo anxious to pay??? Somebody that really wanted to order a cake would be more anxious in getting the details down & then getting the exact price! As we say in the south when it comes to his kind of story 'that dog won't hunt!!" DON"T DO THE CAKE thumbsdown.gif !! Better safe than sorry. Let us know how this works out for you.

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morphis1208 Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:21pm
post #28 of 80

Wow. What a creep. icon_confused.gif That's my first thought. I wouldn't have anything to do with him. Like everyone else said thoughtfully decline and be done with it. A $50 cake order isn't worth whatever he has in mind.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

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veejaytx Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:40pm
post #29 of 80

Maybe you should notify your ISP, send the emails to them and they could track him down. He may be doing this with lots of people, some not as cautious as you are.

Maybe not quite yet you may need more info on him, but soon I would block him from sending you more email. With all the scams, perverts, con artists, it just doesn't pay to take chances! Janice

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Sonya Posted 29 Oct 2006 , 3:52pm
post #30 of 80

If anyone has ever read the message boards on ebay about nigerian scams this sounds just like it! He will want your information so he can mail you a money order but he will say he needs to make it for a lot more than the actual amount you are charging, and when you get it you need to cash it and take out the amount for the cake and forward the rest of the money to a poor family member of his off somewhere. The thing is the money order will be fake. I wouldnt send him anymore emails not to even tell him your not doing the cake and defiently DO NOT give him your information. You could always go to the message boards on ebay and post your topic and see what they say since a lot of people there are more familiar with these kinds of scams than I am.

Be Careful with this idiot!
~Sonya

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