Last October I did a wedding at a Legion hall type of place, and the set up process was a nightmare. My cake was great, no worries there, but it was the person who met me there that was the problem!!! (She's like the secretary of the place or something!) She brought her daughter and three little granddaughters with her. The children ran around the table as I was setting up, bumping into it and climbing over each other trying to get the best view of what I was doing. Hollering, arguing, etc. Meanwhile the evil woman sat there, (NOT STOPPING THEM!!) critiquing my cake, saying it was crooked, etc. Well, her daughter came to my defense and said it was actually the table that was crooked, so the mean old rag walks over and hefts up the edge of the table, (WITHOUT WARNING ME FIRST!!) tipping the cake precariously, and shoves some napkins under the leg!!! 
I was ready to snap!!! When I left there I had vomit in the back of my throat trying to hold back my rage! Well, guess what... this October I have another wedding at the same place, and the bride just emialed me to let me know who would be meeting me there to let me in for set up. Yep... the same woman.
Now, what do I do? If I make the request that she not bring anyone with her, she might turn into a bigger rag, or worse yet, she'll ignore my request and be a bigger rag anyway. If I request that they have someone else meet me, I am afraid they won't, but they'll tell her I asked, and she'll really treat me like poop! WHAT DO I DO??? Swallow hard and hope for the best??
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
If it were me i would tell the bride or someone from the family that one of them have to meet you there as well. I would tell them that someone from the family has to see that the cake got there as you promised as a precaution for you and that it's mandatory or you will not do the cake. Just my suggestion. Hope you figure something out and all goes well.
This is a question for INDYDEBI. 
She would have the answer to this dilema. Maybe this old bat was having a bad day? How about bringing along a couple of cake balls or something to shove in her mouth and keep those kids busy for a while? Get them on a sugar rush then lets see her mood when she has to take them home?
Can't wait to see what Debbie comes up with for this one.
I agree with Rosita6882. Ask that a friend or family member meet you there (probably someone will be nearby) for the setup. Explain there were difficulties in the past and you want to avoid any disasters with the cake.
You don't need to name the specific person, just generally, "there were running children and interference"
good luck. (and take a level in order to check the table first.)
I agree with the others, make sure someone from the bridal party can be there to meet you. If not, have someone from your family or business go with you to witness the behavior of this woman. If she does it again, make sure the bride's family knows about the problems.
Good luck!
You know, with that last wedding, it was huge, a three tiered cake, a large grooms cake, and 8 sheet cakes... so I had my sis and mom with me simply to carry stuff, so they saw it and couldn't BELIEVE it!!
I think I will contact the bride and work something out with her if possible. I am just nervous because I live in a town of 500 people, and this is the neighboring town, so if I alienate this horrid woman, it could bite me on the fanny. I think the fact that she will see other people hiring me is funny though... my cakes are so crappy and lopsided that people can't wait to get them!! 
You know, with that last wedding, it was huge, a three tiered cake, a large grooms cake, and 8 sheet cakes... so I had my sis and mom with me simply to carry stuff, so they saw it and couldn't BELIEVE it!!
I think I will contact the bride and work something out with her if possible. I am just nervous because I live in a town of 500 people, and this is the neighboring town, so if I alienate this horrid woman, it could bite me on the fanny. I think the fact that she will see other people hiring me is funny though... my cakes are so crappy and lopsided that people can't wait to get them!!
I am always amazed at how shy people can be lol just tell the stupid women (politely of course) to keep her brats away from the table as she will be responsible if something happens to the cake and make her sign a receipt that the cake was delivered and set up correctly in case you're thinking that she might sabotage your table after you leave. In my mind it's plain and simple it's your cake so your the boss.
I think I would be up front with the bride, and let her know that you had some issues with set up the last time you were there, and that you'd appreciate a member of the family or bridal party there upon delivery. Let her know that you need someone to "sign" off on the cake. I don't think you need to point fingers and tell her exactly what happened, just let her know that it was a bit difficult, and you want to ensure that her cake is beautiful, and exactly as she wanted it.
I think you should as the others have recommended and have someone from the actual bridal party there and also if the kids are running around tell her somehting about it . Like you do know this is a $500 cake that these kids are running around. Sometimes you just can't be nice no matter how hard you try. GL
. .....I am just nervous because I live in a town of 500 people, and this is the neighboring town, so if I alienate this horrid woman, it could bite me on the fanny. I think the fact that she will see other people hiring me is funny though... my cakes are so crappy and lopsided that people can't wait to get them!!
Oh Pllluuueease! The town will throw a parade in your honor if you stand up to the ole bat. You'll be the queen, practice your wave! Remember when Dorothy's house fell on the witch? hum??
I say, buy a roll of caution tape (Lowes, Home Depot) and tape off your area. Pick up an air horn while you're there and when anyone comes near the tape HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
And the waiver idea is a most excellent suggestion!
and if all that fails put her to work helping you, get her to talk about herself, and have the kids outside counting how long it took you to set up. I know...dumb lol.
Oh Pllluuueease! The town will throw a parade in your honor if you stand up to the ole bat. You'll be the queen, practice your wave! Remember when Dorothy's house fell on the witch? hum??
I say, buy a roll of caution tape (Lowes, Home Depot) and tape off your area. Pick up an air horn while you're there and when anyone comes near the tape HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
---kansaslaura, you're a hoot!
I think having a member of the wedding party or one of the Bride's family there is a perfect solution!
Well, first, if she jerked the corner of the table without warning me while my cake was on it, I will guarantee you that a big loud "HEY!!!!!! What the hell are you doing??????" would fly out of my mouth before I could even think about it! Don't EVEN think of fu**ing with me when I'm setting up a cake! 
That's pretty much what I said to a photographer when she went to move an OPERATING AND FULL OF WARM, RUNNING CHOCOLATE chocolate fountain at a recent wedding. She grabbed the fountain and I yelled "Don't touch that!" She told me she needed to move it. I said, "*I* will move it!" When I moved it, she said "See? That wasn't too much to do!" I said, "you're right .... when *I* am the one moving it!"
Had another wedding (ironically at a Legion type of place). I did the food only .... cake came from somewhere else. I've posted this story before, but here it is again. 4-5 little kids (age 5 and under) were RUNNING around the cake table ... not touching it, but around it. I'm sitting there, gritting my teeth and saying over and over "it's not my cake....it's not my cake". One lady was trying to corral the kids but I dont' think she was a mom because she hadn't the foggiest clue on how to tell the little monsters how to sit down and be good (and quiet!).
However ..... then they began running to the food table and grabbing the edge of the table to stop themselves. I got up out of my chair and went over to them, stood in front of the table wiht my arms crossed, bent down to their little faces and said, "We not going to touch this table are we? Because there is a hot fire under those pans and we are not going to make this fall over and burn someone up, are we? Now let's calm down and go back in the big room and stop running in here!"
RIght before the buffet opened (everyone was standing in line) the family decided to give a few little speeches. I look over and these kids are playing in the coolers holding the sodas (these were provided by the family, not by me). I walk over to them and in my mom-voice, I tell them, "Guys, I dont' think it's a good idea to spit the ice back into the cooler because people will be putting this ice in their drinks. SO let's not play in this since it's not a toybox, OK?" And I pulled them away and closed the cooler lids.
Had another one where a little girl (turned out to be the 4yr old daughter of the bride) was fascinated with touching the cake ... and I'm talking wanting to eat the borders off! At least 3 times, I grabbed her wrist and said, "Don't touch that cake!" before an adult came and took her away from the cake table.
Now, before it sounds like I'm hateful ALL the time, these are 3 stories out of a couple of hundred weddings that I've set up, so these are the exceptions, not the norm.
You got kids running around your table? You tell them to stop running around the table. If for some reason, the bride can't have a friend be there for you (tell them you need a sign-off or something), then take a friend or relative with you to run interference and "re-direct" any PITA people who may try to get in your way. Heck, if I was close to you, I'd go with you and run interference while you set up the cake! 
Someone has to be in charge and if no one else is going to look out for things, then you need to.
I think the suggestion to have someone from the wedding party or family there is bang on. Hopefully she wont bring all the kids next time.
But just to be on the safe side, the caution tape and horn sound good too LOL.
Still waiting for Indydebi's ideas.
Here's the thing that makes me the most angry... these are not wedding guests waiting for the party. This is the lady that has the key to the building bringing her family along with her to let me in and stare at me. She has no business telling me what to do, or 'assisting' me in any way. She has no vested interest if the cake looks like hammered crap, or if it's drop dead gorgeous! And the venue is all set up and decorated and everything. What if these kids are running around and tearing up the decorations too? I just makes me mad because these kids have no business there. *sighhhhh* Don't I sound like a witch?? I love kids, but not when they are doing this stuff, and the parents/guardians are staring off in the distance like they don't see it. It's almost like they wanted something to happen.
Here's the other annoyance... last time she was late. I hate that. You should be 5 minutes early if anything. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Melvira is on the verge of PMS... can ya tell?
lol melvira you just need to get over being shy to tell people exactly what you expect. If I were near you I'd go and believe you me that woman would know by my first stare dont mess with me and that cake lol as for the little monsters well if she cant deal with them then tell her and them to go in another room and you'll call her when your done. You just have to get your assertive face on girl lol if you want to make it in this world you just cant let people walk all over you.
What if these kids are running around and tearing up the decorations too?
That is such a consideration but obviously this woman was not what you'd call considerate.
I had a rare circumstance in which I had the parents meet me when I was setting up a reception. Their new son-in-law was shipping out to Iraq in 3 weeks so they had less than 3 weeks to put something together for the bride and groom. My schedule was jammed, so they met me at the recpetion to see how things were set up and I had them make a plate of the foods that were set up for the sampling. I told them, 'You are welcome to sit at any of these tables, but you get one drop of anything on those linens and I will take you down!" (I said it laughing ... they laughed with me ... and sat on some steps at the side of the room! )
My point of the story .... the family had spent considerable time setting everything up and it would have been very irresponsible of me to just assume it was 'open season' on all the work they did.
(BTW, this Iraq groom was selected as our "donation" of the year. When the parents went to pay us, after their event and we were all packed up and ready to go, we told them there was no charge. It was our gift to a young man going to Iraq. Dad's mouth dropped open and mom started to cry. She asked if she could give us at least a tip or something and I said, no, it would ruin the karma. The best feel-good thing we've ever done. We want to make this a tradition .... to give away a free reception to a well deserving couple - probably military for obvious reasons (said the Mother of a Marine) - once a year. We already have the one for this year picked out .... bride and groom are both military and he is shipping out very soon after the wedding.)
Like the others, I'd tell the bride that someone from the family has to be there to sign off on the cake.
In this instance, I would have no problems telling the bride that no one can be in the room while you're setting the cake up and that she is responsible for making that clear to anyone who comes to let you in.
You don't even have to mention that it's this particular woman you have a problem with. Tell her that through years of experience you've learned that everything goes much smoother if you can do the setup uninterrupted and with no disturbances, that they are welcome to do anything they want once you're done, but until then...leave you alone!!!
Indydebi, that is the coolest thing I have heard in awhile. There are times when you think that what you do won't make a difference to someone. You just go to show everyone that we all can have a great impact on peoples lives just by putting someone elses needs before our own. 
The part I hate about cake decorating is the delivery and set up. The first thing I do when I go into a place is tell them to let me have my privacy to set up so I don't get nervous and ruin it. Then they can stand and look, part of the contract states that after it is set up and someone signs off for it I am no longer responsible for anything that goes wrong with it , like people or kids touching or making it fall. So far so good, no problems.
Indidebi how sweet of you to not charge the military couple for the cake, see I know you have a mean bark but a BIG heart!!!!!
oh btw I dont really like confrontation lol it makes me nervous but I really really really dont like people that have no common sense lol it makes me angry
darcat.. will you please trust this well seasoned veteran that a little confrontation feels a whole lot better than what making yourself sick over worry and swallowing anger? Anyone who has no more sense than to allow children to run around a wedding cake really doesn't deserve my patience with the situation.
It's a shame that people are inconsiderate, but indy summed it up. SOMEONE has to be in control.
(BTW, this Iraq groom was selected as our "donation" of the year. When the parents went to pay us, after their event and we were all packed up and ready to go, we told them there was no charge. It was our gift to a young man going to Iraq. Dad's mouth dropped open and mom started to cry. She asked if she could give us at least a tip or something and I said, no, it would ruin the karma. The best feel-good thing we've ever done. We want to make this a tradition .... to give away a free reception to a well deserving couple - probably military for obvious reasons (said the Mother of a Marine) - once a year. We already have the one for this year picked out .... bride and groom are both military and he is shipping out very soon after the wedding.)
Indydebi... I think that your donation idea is wonderfull. Thank you for being so kind.
It's so important to support those who protect us.
My cousin's spouse shipped out to Afghanistan last month (from Canada) he will be there for 9 more months. Last week they lost 2 people they knew. It's very sad.
So thank you.
Sorry for highjacking this post.
Kansaslaura still love your tape and horn idea best too!
In this instance, I would have no problems telling the bride that no one can be in the room while you're setting the cake up and that she is responsible for making that clear to anyone who comes to let you in.
Just me 50 -- this is the most polite way to handle it. Nicely put.
Good Luck Melvira you rock!
Indidebi how sweet of you to not charge the military couple for the cake, see I know you have a mean bark but a BIG heart!!!!!
see? I TOLD you I'm not really a harda$$ (well..... not ALL the time!!)
ahh... the warm fuzzies! They're great! I don't know if you have kids working for you or not, indy, but what an awesome example to lead by!
See, ithere is no good in biting your tongue with this woman- its not her wedding, its not her cake and if something happens to that cake due to something she did it is HER FAULT. she really has no right to touch or comment.
I would say to her, thankyou for letting me in, i have my staff coming to help me set up, i think i will be fine here on my own. If she says anything just say you prefer to work alone
NOW GET THE F@#K AWAY FROM MY CAKE! (with a smile on your face that wouldnt melt ice in a furnace tee hee hee)
Its not her job to critique, its her job to open a door. Thats the only thing she is required to do.
well thats my two cents anyway.
And i would inform the bride of your concerns, the bride will MAKE sure that nasty woman is away from HER wedding cake
I would let the bride know you have had trouble at this venue before and ask her to make sure that no one bothers you or have someone meet you. The bride is the boss and they will listen to her. I would not be afraid to tell children (especially those who are not even at the wedding) to stay away from the cake, stop running, etc...I would expect the same towards my children (although I am the one always on their ass about running around and would never let them ruin anything!) You may offend the old bag - but at least the cake wouldn't be ruined for the poor wedding couple!!
I say bring some kid friendly ammo--lollipops and coloring supplies. Print some coloring pages from your computer for the kids and bring some crayons. Tell the kids if they color quietly while you put up the pretty cake, they'll each get a lollipop. Then the lovely ladies that think it's okay to let the kids run wild around the cake can deal with the sticky mess and sugared up kids on their way home. I haven't had any problems with kids, but I've had to get stern with a couple of wedding coordinators. One in particular was decorating the reception facility and was placing faux gems on all of the tables. She was out of control, a little too gem happy, and thought it would be cute to place them on the wedding cake. 
I had no problem telling her, "Don't you dare touch that cake!". It definitely caught her attention. I then politely proceeded to explain that her "gems" weren't part of the design, and she could ruin the cake. I asked if she was prepared to explain to the bride that hired her how she ruined her $500 cake. She apologized and went about her business. So don't feel bad about asking the woman to keep the kids away from your cake. She may need to be reminded that the bride and groom spent hundreds of dollars on it and would prefer it not end up on the floor.
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