I was browsing the internet looking at cake websites of decorators in Iowa and surrounding states... well I came across this Fact page of this decorator and I know I have seen it a lot of time on this site... dont tell people what you won't do, tell them want you will do... well I was laughing out loud when I read the bottom of her fact page... It is the motto we all need to live by!
Enjoy!
oh and when you're done check out some of her cake... I love her hand writting on the wedding cakes.
http://www.gloriousdesserts.com/facts.html
I'm so glad I stumbled onto this thread! That lady is hilariously right on! I think I'll put her on my "hero" list. I was laughing thru the whole section, saying "YES! YES!", and trying to figure out how I could plagerize the whole thing! 
And her work is really incredible! 
Yes, the decorator is absolutely funny and holds a lot of truth for us fellow decorators. However, if I were a customer reading that woman's site, I would pass over her immediately because the 'seems' to have a bad attitude. JMO
Man, she said it all! I think I need to point my customers to her webpage and say "read this first before you order!" It will get rid of a lot of the people that you want to do the "V8" hit to the forehead. Not because their not eating their veggies either!
Boy do I need to take a hard look at myself and learn a little from this girl!! I always feel bad for charging for my cakes - but then again, if I keep going cheap, I'll never make any money!!
I first saw that a couple of years ago, and laughed. More decorators should read and take to heart some of the things she says.
When I read stuff here and other places about people who let customers take advantage of them I get so MAD! I wish more people had a backbone of steel.... like this gal (and myself, of course)
Put it right into my fav's folder! I don't think that I would have the nerve to put those actual words onto my website, but I do admire her honesty!
Nicole
Although I mostly agree with her, I don't think putting it on her website like that is the best choice. There are definitely other ways to have a backbone and stand your ground, than to lay that all out on your website. I too would run if I was shopping for a cake.
It reminded me of Sugarcraft's disclaimers.
Her honesty doesn't seem to have done her any harm from the number of cakes in her galleries! I admire her straight-forwardness! That's pretty much standard in this country, often right to your face (which can often be downright rude, but don't get me started on the non-manners of the Dutch! 
). I say, you go girl!
She makes great cakes, that's why she can get away with that, I feel just like her, but in respect for the nice client who don't give any trouble I wouldnt post it in my web site
WOW!!! Thanks for posting!! That woman thought of everything.........including everything I've always wanted to say to customers and more! Loved her site and her work!!!!!!!! You're right--she sounds as business-wise and level-headed and matter-of-fact as indydebi (and I say that lovingly!!!!!!!! )
I'm with KellyAnne and Mitsel8 :::shiver::: I'm scared of her attitude -- but I bet she doesn't have many clients that try to pull a fast one on her.
you are right I would be worried about the bit of attitude but it seems to be working very well for her look at how many cakes she has made, well very good for her
I didn't find what she was saying offensive but I can see where someone else would. I guess either you have to have been in the game long enough to understand her or been burnt enough times to mention. I'm surprised she didn't say more. I've wanted to state some things on my site just to deter people she's speaking of from even thinking twice from ordering from me. Seems she does have clients that love her and obviously she isn't doing bad for herself....so I guess, what she does works for her.
It's really hard to convey a message to disrespectful, unappreciative people that are underserving of your time without being mistaken for being too stern, crude and maybe unprofessional to some. Yes, some things can be left unspoken (and I guess I am too nice) but some people really need to read it and understand. She's my hero for sure, ha ha ha ha, 'cause I completely understand
She's really putting it mildly to me....boy what I'd love to say to some
Wow Notjustcake, you said it first. LOL LOL...it does work for her. 
I agree with those who say there are some who would be offended by what's on her website.
But I also say that if they are offended and go somewhere else, then good riddance, because they are probably prima donna's anyway that I don't want to deal with.
As I've said .... let your website do your work for you as a prequalifier, whether it prequalifies them price-wise or attitude-wise.
I mean, geesh, come on, guys! Is there a client out there who will read this and really think: "Well I'm not calling HER if I'm not allowed to violate the terms of the contract; and just because butter melts in the heat is NO reason she can tell me I can't have a cake outside in the heat; and how DARE she tell me that the price she sets is the price I'll pay! I'm not dealing with someone like that! I'LL find someone who is very willing for me to walk all over them!"
WHich one of you wants this bride as a customer? Go head. Raise your hands. Put 'em up high so I can see 'em! Come on....don't be shy! Volunteer! Step up right to the plate!
Hmmmmm.... 
It's not what she is saying that would offend if I were a potential customer, it's *how* it's said.
"Outdoor weddings with buttercream iced cakeduh...you live in IOWA and it is hot with a lot of bugs. When it is 90 plus degrees people do not do well and neither does cake."
I think a more professional way to state the same thing would be written something like "Our bakery does not provide buttercream cakes for outdoor events during summer months. Buttercream icing can melt in the heat and may attract bugs."
And, as a baker, IMHO, do we really need to give advice about people doing well in the heat on our Facts pages?
Being that I'm not her potential client and I don't live in Iowa and on top of all that I'm a cookie baker not a wedding cake baker, if it works for her, more power to her!
And, as a baker, IMHO, do we really need to give advice about people doing well in the heat on our Facts pages?
Yes. Yes we do. Because people are idiots.
The same people who won't run to walmart because they can't stand being in the 90 degree heat for 3 minutes between the car and the store door, are the same people who think it will be "...such a FUN idea!" to have an outdoor reception with butter and cream cheese icing. I had to explain this very concept to a bride less than 2 weeks ago.
These are the same people who leave an ice-cream cake in the car and return it because it melted OR the same people who return an ice cream cake because it's frozen. These are people like the bride who wanted me to pre-cut her 3 tiered wedding cake.
People are idiots.
In the words of P.T. Barnum: Never overestimate the intelligence of the public.
Indydebi...you are too funny.....but so right. I have this discussion with my sister every other day about WHY people are such idiots. I seem to get amnesia after a few days until I get an ignorant phone call or talk to someone that I really wonder why they happened to me. She quickly reminds me that WE are normal and they aren't. We give some people tooooooooooo much credit to think rationally. There are only but a few of us that have common sense and alot of them that don't and THEY seem to find their way to me. It's really refreshing to know that I am not alone in how I think and feel. Yes, it may be sad and yes, it may seem mean...but besides all of that....it's true. Some people don't have common sense, are penny pinchers, are inconsiderate, could really care less about your business or your welfare and just want whatever they can get...however they can get it. You can be firm with these people to cover yourself or bend over backwards...well just too much bending going on. I can't be mad if she wants to cover her "behind" and put some rules in place. She did state that she was a fun person so maybe her sense of humor comes off wrong. Now honestly, I have pages on my site that I KNOW people don't go on....for instance my calendar. (people just won't check it out before ordering to ensure their date is available) So what did I do, I put it on the FRONT page of my site to check the calendar FIRST! You know what, idiots still call, still place an order and I would be completely booked for the date...the week for that matter. So in saying that, some idiots probably won't even read her facts page and will just call her directly for a consult. Alot of people would just get straight to business and would rather skip the reading part. I'm sure if she's offending someone...she probably has to come right out and do it 'cause they probably didn't READ.
Sad to say but I do deal with idiots more than I'd like to.
These are people like the bride who wanted me to pre-cut her 3 tiered wedding cake.
People are idiots.
In the words of P.T. Barnum: Never overestimate the intelligence of the public.
LMAO seriously?? She wanted to have it PRE cut?? I guess she just wanted it given to her in a bowl or something cause that's the only way it'll get there all together
I thought it was bad enough that the customers ask us at the farmers market if our bread comes pre-sliced. That at least needs some thought put into it. OK, we have a home kitchen. Therefore, no automatic bread slicer. Are we really going to go through and individually slice all 50 loaves of bread that we bring to market?? Do you really think we have the time to do that and get 50 loaves of bread baked within 1 day in our small oven that only holds 6 loaves of pan bread or 3 loaves of hearth bread at a time? But asking if you can pre-slice a wedding cake takes no thought to find an answer to. Classic!
oh, and the PT Barnum quote, so right on! lol
Here! Here! indydebi, funny but TRUE..
There is a lot that we can learn from this lady's bravery! she pulls no punches that's 4 sure & we all know- she is absoultely correct ! our time valuable $$ and this fact sheet helps address some of the drama...
I wish I had the b#%ls to do the same!
She is my hero NOW!
To clear something up, the particular people that called before checking my calendar did act like idiots (all of them...waited to the last minute and got an attitude 'cause I said I was booked when all they had to do while on my site was check the calendar), not saying that everyone that calls me is an idiot if they don't know I'm booked. And I still get people acting a nut with me 'cause I'm booked and didn't check the calendar while on my site. "How you gonna get mad at me?"...read 1st and they'd know.
I agree with those who say there are some who would be offended by what's on her website.
But I also say that if they are offended and go somewhere else, then good riddance, because they are probably prima donna's anyway that I don't want to deal with.
I was just getting back to this post and thinking this same thing as I was reading... but again you beat me to it Debi.
It is a little bold to put on a website... but for me I find it funny. If someone is offended, then I probably didnt' want to do business with them anyways. LOl, we'll see how brave I am when I finally get my website up. I do think it would help weed out a lot of "stephi" brides though.
And, as a baker, IMHO, do we really need to give advice about people doing well in the heat on our Facts pages?
Yes. Yes we do. Because people are idiots.
The same people who won't run to walmart because they can't stand being in the 90 degree heat for 3 minutes between the car and the store door, are the same people who think it will be "...such a FUN idea!" to have an outdoor reception with butter and cream cheese icing. I had to explain this very concept to a bride less than 2 weeks ago.
These are the same people who leave an ice-cream cake in the car and return it because it melted OR the same people who return an ice cream cake because it's frozen. These are people like the bride who wanted me to pre-cut her 3 tiered wedding cake.
People are idiots.
In the words of P.T. Barnum: Never overestimate the intelligence of the public.
I guess I prefer that the glass is half full. Yes, a lot of people may not get it, but I prefer not to insult the ones that do. And the part you didn't quote me on was the what I that I didn't disagree with her fact terms but how she phrased it. I like to think I'm not an idiot, though I don't know everything about cakes.
You know...I guess I would have to agree with her idea but not with the putting it on the website. I try to think of myself as a big company already, so I think "Would Best Buy say Nope sorry if you are going to be rude or ask for a discount I do not want your business" Probably not.
I would be afraid that the message would put off people that would never have been trouble anyway.
Back to another thread....everyone was up in arms about sugarcraft posting that they did not serve rude customers on their site ..so now is it ok because it is a decorator?
Would I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to tell people that NO in fact, it is not "JUST CAKE", certainly I would. However, it does not seem too professional to me.
Kudos for her though for being secure enough to lay it all out there from the get go.
Julia
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