Hi all. I have a dilemma and I'm sure it's not uncommon to home bakers.

A woman my husband works with (She has bought cakes from me in the past and knows that I sell them) e-mailed me today and wants to know if I have a good peach pie recipe I would share with her. Of course, I have a fantastic recipe, but I don't want to share it. I haven't answered her yet. I was just wondering what you would say.

On the same subject, last year, I made 3 desserts for the teachers in my kid's school and they got upset that I wouldn't share the recipes- they too know I sell them and I even offered to make them again for them sometime for free and they were still miffed!

What should I say without sounding rude? (I don't want to put my husband in an awkward position at work. Besides, I get a lot of business from there.)

Thank you, my wise friends, for your help once again!

i'm not always the best in the etiquette department, but I'm sure somebody else can help you with this.
bump!

There are lots of reliable recipes for peach pie. You could give her one of those. she isn't asking for a specific recipe of yours she has tasted. Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker, Epicurious.com all have fine recipes.

Chance are, even if you did give her the recipe, it wouldn't be exactly the same results, anyway.

I would just say that I'm sorry, but you are using those recipes for your business, and that you can't give them out. Otherwise, you wouldn't have a reason to be in business if anyone can fix it the same as you because they have your recipe.

You can't go into some fancy restaurant or bakery and get their recipe, so why would they think they could get yours? That's crazy.

You could always print out one from the internet that is similiar to yours, but don't give them your exact one.

I agree with JoAnn; you don't have to give her your exact recipe. There are a ton of good recipes online...give her one of those.

Tell her you are sorry you cannot share your "signature" recipe but perhaps can give her a simple one that is easy to follow.

i'd like to hear replies to this also. I was jsut at a party and a few people asked. That is an akward feeling. I told them what was in it, not really exactly how to make it.

If you have one you don't want to share, is there a generic recipe that is good enough to share. Just a thought

wow, you guys are quick, I just posted this and already 3 replies! Thank you!

I was thinking about giving her a "Dummy" recipe or referring her to allrecipes.com

Funny thing is, I just got a huge basket of gorgeous peaches at the market and was going to send a pie in to work with my husband this week. Coincidence?

Some people are just dense I am sure that lady doesent even realize the stress she has caused you.
I agree with the other posters. She is your customer and a collegue of your husband not a stranger you dont have to deal with again. So just give her a good recipe off the internet. You dont have to lie just send her the link and say something like "this recipe looks delish". Epicurious and allrecipes.com have a lot of good well tested recipes IMO.
Good Luck

Hi! I'm a newbie here but came across your concern and think the best bet would be to say that you're flattered they liked your recipe, offer them a similar (but different) recipe and say "I don't always stick to what the recipe says! Sometimes I add a little of this, a little of that to see how I can change it up." then they will understand why your stuff is so good and maybe a little different. And encourage them to try changing up the recipe too.

hope this helps. sounds awkward!

I would personally share my recipes, always have and always will....My Mom makes fabulous Cinnimon rolls and she hands out the recipe like its kleenex, but guess who they still turn too to make rolls....MY MOM even though she wants to not have to make so many (I try and make the darn things and they never taste as good as MOMS--and I have watched her make them my whole life)!

A big part of cake decorating to me is not so much the recipe, but the decorating part....and they can't really duplicate that....I guess its different with pies (but its a real talent to get a good crust...results will vary).... If you dont feel like you can give out your signature recipes, then I would compile a list of good recipes that just are not your favorites and pass those along.

Lolafalano, that is a very good response! I like that, thank you!

Thank you all again!

It does not sound as if she wants YOUR recipe but a GOOD recipe( which I'm sure is an EXCELLENT recipe). I would give her a good recipe and wish her well. I know I make a killer chocolate chip cookie, gave some the recipe and they all said, "they don't taste like yours" Sharing recipes is a great way to experiment with different things!
Happy baking!
Tracy

If you would share the recipe(s), I doubt it would hurt your business. First of all, the finished product will not be exactly the same as when you make it. Secondly, people will still order the items from you because they aren't going to use their time and effort to always make it themselves.

I lived in a city once where a feature in the newspaper was publishing popular dishes from local restaurants (given freely by the restaurants). I'm not sure how many people actually made the recipes, but personally I looked at them and when they looked good, I'd go order it at the restaurant! It turned out to be a good advertisement for the restaurants, plus it was a goodwill thing for them.

I don't have a business like this... these are just my thoughts. Certainly you have every right not to give out your recipes.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

i guess everybody have answered ur question...you can give someother recipe. If she asks your recipe (after tasting ur pie)....u can say its some family secret recipe. I guess people hounor ur family secrets!

Since she didn't specifically ask for your recipe this is what I would do. Go to allrecipes.com (or some other recipe site that has the review options for users) find one that's gotten good reviews. Then I would send it to her with a little note saying "this one got rave reviews, hope you like it". By doing that you're granting her request without giving out your recipe.

I agree with the others -- usually people just want something they know will work - they don't want to search the internet or a cookbook. I (as do many of you) love searching for recipes! When someone asks, I always give out my buttercream recipe (but I don't tell them what brand of extracts I use - as that makes the difference ) and a few other things. For the recipes that I really don't want to reveal, I always give one from the sites listed above.

This also reminded me of once when I was doing a small business expo and passing out samples I had several people as for cake/icing recipes. Another lady asked for my fondant recipe and got very angry when I didn't share it with her and I was very nice about the whole thing!

You COULD turn an awkward situation around and benefit from this! Print up your most-asked-for recipes on recipe cards with your business name and phone number in bold letters across the top. Put a small statement about this recipe being for private at-home use only. Put the real recipe on it. A little kindness goes a long way.

I'll bet that the vast majority of people who make the recipe will at some point think, "This is a LOT of work! It doesn't even taste as good. Next time, I'm going to order this from *your name here* again!"

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

I've experienced this same dilemma on more than one occasion. There is one friend in particular whom I've given several family recipes to. The infuriating part is, she always takes the credit when someone gives her a compliment. She never mentions that the recipe was given to her or that it's an old family recipe.
This doesn't really answer the original question, does it? I'm just venting and would also like advice on how to handle these situations.

LIE! tell them "i don' t follow a recipe, its all in my head" (which actually is not a lie, most of the time even if it STARTED with a recipe that you have just memorized from making it so many times)

Cheers!

Rose

I definitely agree on not giving out your recipes. If it comes down to it, just say "Oh, that's top secret" or "I'd have to kill you if I told you" (of course some people wouldn't find that one too funny). Or go and get the most complicated recipe you can find and give her that... say "Here's a good one", and that could imply that that's ONE of the recipes you use. Handle it with a little humour and she won't be able to take it too seriously. Good luck!

I agree with most of the posts here ...

You could give her a "generic" recipe and let her in on a few vague "secrets" you use - like "Oh, I always double the vanilla" or "don't mix too much", etc.

Or just give her yours, chances are she's not going to get the same results you do, and will still order from you as she won't always want to make it herself.

I guess I'm seeing a different part of this- not really whether or not you give her YOUR recipe, or someone else's- but if you give her a recipe (and you aren't really wanting to) she'll probably keep asking you for recipes in the future.

If you don't want to give her the recipe, just explain that your recipes are a family secret but you are happy to point her in another direction. I wouldn't just pass another recipe off as yours because she might keep asking for recipes. If you're honest about it, then maybe she'll leave you alone.

As for the people who got upset when the recipe wasn't given to them, they'll get over. Most people just don't realize how much time and work it takes to tweak recipes into your own. They just don't "get it!"

Good luck.

Since most of us are bakers whether for business or pleasure and from reading alot of threads on this site I think we all add things or change things from original recipes or doctored cake mixes so no matter what recipe you give them it will never tastes exactly like yours. So what the heck give her your original recipe just dont give her the extra things you do or put in them, that way you wont have to say anything and they'll think your the nicest person. Just my 2cents lol

This question is not exactly directed at the original poster, but to everyone that doesnt share recipes, just wondering why not? What is the reason?

I had a lady freely give me a recipe about 10 years ago, this is before i even contemplated making cakes for other people. She used to make a living out of making wedding cakes, but this particular recipe is for a cake that can only be used as a dessert and it's not requested very often, anyway the recipe was really complicated, but she made me swear that I would NEVER give the recipe to anyone. I tried it, it was ok, but then went searching for another one that was better. I never did give the recipe to anyone else, but i was always wondered what the reason behind the "not giving" was.

I have always given out my recipes, there are a few right here on CC, it's never occured to me not to share. Actually even a few of my customers has asked for recipes and i've given them out. They still buy cakes from me ; )
Yesterday i sent one of these people a link to the website where i put intructions together for a few different cake things, and she told me i shouldnt be giving out my secrets.

OH, and also after that lady made me swear i wouldnt give out her recipe, I also NEVER give out other people's recipes, my own yes, other's never.


ok i've blabbered on too much
back to my batcave
Nati

I don't think that I would like to share my recipe, but then again, I got it from someone here, so what does that make me?

I know that most businesses do not give out thier recipies, it's not good for business. But then again, like most of you said, they are not going to make it like we do, nor be able to decorate like us (more than likely).

I think that I would probably give out the recipe occasionally, but I wouldn't give it out to everyone. I know that at alot of times I have "asked" for a recipe as a compliment, not really intending to get it or expecting it. Maybe that is the situation.

Stephanie

so i agree with everyone that said to give her a recipe from the net but dont give her your recipe if you dont want to. you can put a note at the bottom of the email that says you get many different recipies from the internet and this is 1 of them and you can give her a link to the site where you got the recipe and say to her that she can find other recipes at that same site. this way you are being helpful and not being rude and also telling her in a nice way to look herself online next time.