I'm getting so frustrated with my boys. We live in a very small place and so they have to share a room but they always blame each other for the mess and this and that. I always tell them that I really don't care who made the mess, they have to work together to clean it up. I just feel like the biggest nag in the world, constantly yelling at them to clean up their mess! 
I would much rather spend my time with them reading more or playing but I can't because I'm constantly trying to get them to clean up. I've tried saving it for the end of the day but then it always gets too late and I don't want them up 1/2 the night and you know they'll milk that for all they can to get to stay up later. I've tried making deals with them but to no avail. The best way I have found to get them to clean is to just whip out the vacuum cleaner and somehow that gets them on their toes...
What do you all do that works in order to get your kids to clean??
I tell mine that whatever toys I find on the floor after they are in bed will be history!
They pick them up quickly!!
My 8 yr old loves to vacuum and windex the doors and windows...
my 5 yr old loves putting the cutlery away when the dishwasher cycle is done...
It's not done perfectly...but one day it will be.
I remember when I was a kid my mother didn't let me go out to play once until I washed the dishes. Since then, I hated washing the dishes..so I try not to force them to do anything...I try to make it seem like fun.
Just like you, we live ina small house. Doesn't seem like the messes are bigger the less space you have?? Or maybe I'm halucinating(sp?)! My 2 kids 6 4 always drag thier feet on cleaning but if I go in thier rooms and just "help" them with one or two things, they normally do the rest.
My four year old whines and cries about how she can't clean it all up. I tell her she made all the mess, she should be able to clean it all up too. but she's 4, ya know. It helps if I tell her exactly what to do. "Here's a book, put this on your shelf. Take this toy and put it in your bin, etc."
We started a night routine. At 5pm we do a "quick clean-up" to pick up the big things before dad get' home- so he doesn't walk into a disaster! At 7pm they all begin clean-up. When my 4 year old goes to bed at 7:30 the older two finish up and get ready for bed. Anything left over is gone. My husband picks up anything left out and puts it away. When they realize what they are missing they have the chance to work for it back. They have lost their Nintendo DS's once and had to do A LOT of extra yard work, helping to get them back. It really has worked for my three boys in our small house! It is a routine you and they have to do every night, I don't even need to remind them, soon as the clock chimes 7 they begin.
Tracy
I'm getting so frustrated with my boys. We live in a very small place and so they have to share a room but they always blame each other for the mess and this and that. I always tell them that I really don't care who made the mess, they have to work together to clean it up. I just feel like the biggest nag in the world, constantly yelling at them to clean up their mess! :cry
I think our kids are the same kids except mine are girls. 
They both share a room and right now they are supposed to be cleaning their room. Instead my 7 year old keeps coming out complaining that her sister isn't helping and then my other DD keeps coming out to ask if she can play. They are driving me crazy today. Plus my youngest DD is fighting with everything she's got not to take a nap. It doesn't help that her sisters keep fighting and coming out of their room. What I do to get their room clean is I threaten to go and throw out anything that's not put away. I don't care if it's toys or clothes. Then if I go in and it's not clean I go get a trash bag. That way they know I mean business. Once I go to the kitchen to get a trash bag they scurry around to get everything put away. Now granted the clean room may only last about an hour, but at least it gets cleaned. Good luck! 
I think our kids are the same kids except mine are girls.
They both share a room and right now they are supposed to be cleaning their room. Instead my 7 year old keeps coming out complaining that her sister isn't helping and then my other DD keeps coming out to ask if she can play. They are driving me crazy today. Plus my youngest DD is fighting with everything she's got not to take a nap. It doesn't help that her sisters keep fighting and coming out of their room. What I do to get their room clean is I threaten to go and throw out anything that's not put away. I don't care if it's toys or clothes. Then if I go in and it's not clean I go get a trash bag. That way they know I mean business. Once I go to the kitchen to get a trash bag they scurry around to get everything put away. Now granted the clean room may only last about an hour, but at least it gets cleaned. Good luck!
lol, I've done that too! One time, I even got a big box out and put a bunch of toys in there to donate. I actually did donate the whole box (It needed done anyway and I didn't get rid of the ones they actually use). It was nice to clear out all the toys but if I tell them I'm getting a donation box together, they get to cleaning. My husband once got a trash bag and filled it with their stuff. He told them he was throwing it all out but actually hid it in the garage
They got the stuff back after a couple weeks though...Thing is, I hate having to threaten like that 
I feel like a mean mommy.
My four year old whines and cries about how she can't clean it all up. I tell her she made all the mess, she should be able to clean it all up too. but she's 4, ya know. It helps if I tell her exactly what to do. "Here's a book, put this on your shelf. Take this toy and put it in your bin, etc."
I have to do this with my 3 year old. She doesn't understand how to just go clean. She has to be told that she needs to go put this in the toybox or put those pants in the laundry basket. She gets alot done doing small tasks. I think it's just too overwhelming to her if you tell her to just clean her room.
I have to do this with my 3 year old. She doesn't understand how to just go clean. She has to be told that she needs to go put this in the toybox or put those pants in the laundry basket. She gets alot done doing small tasks. I think it's just too overwhelming to her if you tell her to just clean her room.
I know what you mean. I have discovered that if there are specific places for toys to go then that makes it a little easier for them. We have a "train box" and a "block box" etc. Those are always the first things to be put away
I tell mine that whatever toys I find on the floor after they are in bed will be history!
They pick them up quickly!!
My 8 yr old loves to vacuum and windex the doors and windows...
my 5 yr old loves putting the cutlery away when the dishwasher cycle is done...
It's not done perfectly...but one day it will be.
I remember when I was a kid my mother didn't let me go out to play once until I washed the dishes. Since then, I hated washing the dishes..so I try not to force them to do anything...I try to make it seem like fun.
I do the same thing! I also insist that when a new thing comes out another thing gets put away. Another thing is that if there is more than one child you can make it a race! Who can be the cleanest! I do who is the best eater and plates are cleaned real fast!
Sometimes it's just overwhelming, so it helps if you direct them by breaking it down. I would tell mine "pick up all the dirty clothes and put them in the laundry." When they finishe that, then it's "pick up all the big toys and put them in the toybox." then "pick up all the big pieces of paper and put them in the trash." Once these big items are gone, the mess looks WAY smaller and less intimidating.
The story my (grown and in their 20's) kids will tell you is how they hated "The Pile Method". I would start them cleaning their room. I'd check back a couple of times and do the mom-thing about telling them to get busy and get it cleaned up! After the 3rd warning, I came in with a broom (or a shovel, depending on how bad it was!) and swept everything into one big pile in the middle of their floor .... and they had to pick up the pile.
After a while, just the threat of "we're implementing The Pile Method!" would get 'em moving!
My daughter hated to confess that she caught herself doing this with her 4 year old already!
The story my (grown and in their 20's) kids will tell you is how they hated "The Pile Method". I would start them cleaning their room. I'd check back a couple of times and do the mom-thing about telling them to get busy and get it cleaned up! After the 3rd warning, I came in with a broom (or a shovel, depending on how bad it was!) and swept everything into one big pile in the middle of their floor .... and they had to pick up the pile.
My mother used to do a different version of this. If we didn't clean our room the first time she told us, she'd go and empty out closets, drawers, anything on the floor and put it in a pile and tell us to clean it up or it was gone. It's kind of a "mommy dearest" way of doing it, but we got the idea real quick and we cleaned our room when we were told.
I'm still working on my 4 year old, he's a little small to do it without any help.
My 8 year old I have to really get on, he says it's going to take him FOREVER and he makes the job last 3 times as long as it should. I told him today that I had a new rule for the summer that should work pretty good, if his room is messy he can't ask to ride his dirt bike. 
He likes his dirt bike so I'm pretty sure he'll do what needs done.
You have to find what works with you with my 3 year old she has lots of little chores around the house nothing big shes more of a helper and we go in about twice a day and just do a quick 10 min clean up normally before nap and before dinner I tell her where to put things and she does it. with my 7 year old son he is completley in charge of cleaning his own things iam very organized and so he has bins where certain things go our rule is if you have to much that the lid cant close on any particular bin its time to donate some things also he has a one bin at a time rule which works our really well he has to clean one thing up before moving onto anything else this includes meals which gets him to clean up real fast I always tell him its easier to clean a small mess several times a day then a huge mess all day. plus with his room I go in about every 3 months when no matter how much he cleans it doesn look clean because he doesnt know what to do with new stuff I sit on his bed and we strip everything down and and donate tons of stuff and reorganize everything its always a huge improvment afterwards plus with kids it helps to 2 or 3 times a year re arrange there room its gives them the feeling that everything is new split there toys in 2 groups and change them out every few months so that ways there not so much to make a mess with. sorry long I know but this is a hot topic for me.
You have to find what works with you with my 3 year old she has lots of little chores around the house nothing big shes more of a helper and we go in about twice a day and just do a quick 10 min clean up normally before nap and before dinner I tell her where to put things and she does it. with my 7 year old son he is completley in charge of cleaning his own things iam very organized and so he has bins where certain things go our rule is if you have to much that the lid cant close on any particular bin its time to donate some things also he has a one bin at a time rule which works our really well he has to clean one thing up before moving onto anything else this includes meals which gets him to clean up real fast I always tell him its easier to clean a small mess several times a day then a huge mess all day. plus with his room I go in about every 3 months when no matter how much he cleans it doesn look clean because he doesnt know what to do with new stuff I sit on his bed and we strip everything down and and donate tons of stuff and reorganize everything its always a huge improvment afterwards plus with kids it helps to 2 or 3 times a year re arrange there room its gives them the feeling that everything is new split there toys in 2 groups and change them out every few months so that ways there not so much to make a mess with. sorry long I know but this is a hot topic for me.
yes, going through and donating toys makes a huge difference. We got rid of a huge box of toys not too long ago and I've taken a few smaller boxes since then. It's really amazing how much new stuff comes in!
I turn into the devil dragon woman and blow smoke out of my ears and fire out of my eyes!!!
Well only sometimes, but I have definitely bagged up toys in trash bags. I've hidden them for a week or so a time or two. And I've also given them a set amount of time before what's left on the floor is gone, and done just that. Though I did exclude the really expensive things (like Gameboy games and such). My oldest two share a room too, so it's hard, especially since the little one always wants to play in their room and he makes a mess. I'm always getting, "but that's not my mess. I didn't play with that." So then I go through the laundry "well I didn't wear this" or give them back their dishes "I didn't eat off this plate".
HEck, it's not just kids, what about husbands? He bought us two new cell phones and the shopping bag with the papework and the empty boxes sat by his chair for 2 days. I finally asked him if those could be thrown away. "Oh no! I need that stuff!" (big sigh! roll eyes!)
So here's what I do for HIM: I put (in this case) the bag of phone stuff in the closet for two weeks. Then it goes in the trash. If he hasn't missed it in two weeks, then he doesn't need it.
I told him that's what I do to him a long time ago. He went into a panic and asked what had I thrown away? Fortunately, when I read about this trick, I'd also read how to answer this question:
"You tell me what you're missing and I'll tell you if I threw it away."
So far, he's never noticed when I pitch things. So I call it the "dont' ask, don't tell" rule. I never ask if he needs it ...... I don't tell him when I pitch it!
Like we tell the kids, if it's that important then it should be put away....BY YOU!
I turn into the devil dragon woman and blow smoke out of my ears and fire out of my eyes!!!
Well only sometimes, but I have definitely bagged up toys in trash bags. I've hidden them for a week or so a time or two. And I've also given them a set amount of time before what's left on the floor is gone, and done just that. Though I did exclude the really expensive things (like Gameboy games and such). My oldest two share a room too, so it's hard, especially since the little one always wants to play in their room and he makes a mess. I'm always getting, "but that's not my mess. I didn't play with that." So then I go through the laundry "well I didn't wear this" or give them back their dishes "I didn't eat off this plate".
lol @ the last part. Tell me about it! Sometimes they say, "why don't you help us???" and I reply, "I am helping. See the vacuum cleaner? I'm about to help you by vacuuming." or sometimes I'll be making dinner when they say such things, "um...see me making dinner? I'm helping you!" 
HEck, it's not just kids, what about husbands? He bought us two new cell phones and the shopping bag with the papework and the empty boxes sat by his chair for 2 days. I finally asked him if those could be thrown away. "Oh no! I need that stuff!" (big sigh! roll eyes!)
So here's what I do for HIM: I put (in this case) the bag of phone stuff in the closet for two weeks. Then it goes in the trash. If he hasn't missed it in two weeks, then he doesn't need it.
I told him that's what I do to him a long time ago. He went into a panic and asked what had I thrown away? Fortunately, when I read about this trick, I'd also read how to answer this question:
"You tell me what you're missing and I'll tell you if I threw it away."
So far, he's never noticed when I pitch things. So I call it the "dont' ask, don't tell" rule. I never ask if he needs it ...... I don't tell him when I pitch it!
Like we tell the kids, if it's that important then it should be put away....BY YOU!
So true! Husbands can be just as bad as the kids at times! How hard is it to put dirty clothes inside the hamper instead of on top of the lid?? lol
The thing that really bugs me is when my husband eats in the family room. I am always yelling at my kids not to eat in there and then he goes and gives a bad example by eating in there You just can't win sometimes!
We have a hard time being consistent with any remedy we try, but this one seems to work. Before bath time, my daughter has to get a bag and collect all of her belongings to take upstairs with her to put away. Before she starts we all have to guess how many items are going to end up in the bag. This gets her motivated because we make it into a game. We still have to work on the putting away part, once the bag makes it to her room.
I use the garbage bag. If I have to clean it, I clean it my way, and that means Hefty is helping. Once the floor is clean, they have until the next garbage man run to get their stuff out of their bag and into its proper place. If it's not done, it's garbage. I do not buy replacements and I do not cater to whining. Also, standing on a wall for punishment is rare in my household. My kids wash baseboards or "chemical" their bathroom (scrub toilets, clean grout). Mine are ages 6, 8 and 11.
My son is now 26 and when he was little he was overwhelmed about where to start when it came time to picking up toys and clothes. I did the put this here thing, no tv till everything is cleaned thing, close the door and think about it later thing. I decided to pick my arguments for more important things. I finally got different clear box's and labeled each one. Some had colors, blocks, cars, characters, etc. I then put most of them on a high shelf where he would have to ask to have them come down. I would rotate box's when I noticed he would get bored with certain toys. He was only allowed the amount of box's that I knew he could handle putting away. I would tell him that if I had to pick up the toys, then the box's would stay high for a very long time or they might be given to children that did not have many toys and would appreciate them. The biggest problem is when other children came to play and would leave him with a big mess. I would help him clean up that mess. If the two children share a room, try color coding their box's so they know what box's they are allowed to play with. If they don't want to clean up the mess, then get a locker, put the toys in it, and keep it locked until they work off the price of the toy. You don't need to argue with them, just tell them the new rules are that whatever is left out of place when they go to bed, gets locked away until they work it off. You might get a very clean house as a bonus. If they know you are serious, they will catch on fast.
One of the things I've done with my DD (age 5) to help her know where to start is to make a list. She really loves lists and checking things off. I just numbered each thing and drew a picture of what she needed to do on each one and it's permanantly posted in her room. When she says she doesn't know what to do I say, "well, what's number one? Do that" etc. Sometimes if it's a HUGE mess, I'll let her only do one or two things and she can come back to do a few more things later. That way she's not so overwhelmed. She still doesn't rush to do it or even want to do it and I still have to pull teeth sometimes, but it makes it a bit less daunting for her. Another thing I do is insist the kids' beds be made before breakfast. No bed making - no breakfast. No one has ever gone without breakfast because of unmade beds in my house! Making the bed is number one on the list as well, so when she tells me what number one is I can say, "see, you've already done one! What's number 2? Go do that." That way she can see she's already started and done something and there's not so much to do now.
I do the "if it's on the floor when you go to bed it's gone out in the trash in the morning". That usually works. I have bribed them, "first one to _________ (fill in the blank) get to ________(fill in the blank). Or they miss _______________ (fill in the blank).
Patricia
Chore Chart - this is a long post, but this really does work - and my kids are REALLY lazy! It stays on the fridge next to my weekly menu. It's awesome - saves me a TON of money (honest to God), and there's no more "what's for dinner?" All I have to do is point to the fridge!
Monday through Friday they have chores to do. I do not pay them to do these chores. These are EXPECTATIONS. They aren't time consuming, most can be done in a matter of minutes. There are five of us living in the house, so there can be five of us cleaning it. If they want to earn an allowance, there are plenty of extra chores that can be done over and above their daily ones... just keep in mind the ages and what they're capable of.
Here's mine (Jade is 16, Cole is 11, Brett is 7)
Chart is done on a spreadsheet
DAY OF WEEK/ CHORE/ WHEN/ WHO
MONDAY/ dishwasher&kitchen/ after school/ Jade
MONDAY/ set table for dinner/ after school/ Brett
ROOM ZONE (see below)/ All
MONDAY/ homework/ after school All
MONDAY/ feed cats/ after school/ Cole
MONDAY/ Clear & wipe table/ after dinner/ Brett
MONDAY/ Load&run dishwasher/ after dinner/ Cole
MONDAY/ Scoop litter boxes/ after dinner/ Jade
All chores stay the same Monday to Friday with the exception of the zone.
Monday - "zone 1" Strip your bedsheets. Clear off your dresser, pick up any garbage and then empty the trash can. Bring your dirty clothes and bedding to the laundry room so I can do laundry.
Tuesday - "zone 2" Your closet and drawers. Hang up your clothes; dirty clothes in laundry basket and clean clothes put away PROPERLY
Wednesday - "zone 3" Your floor. Pick up any clothes, toys and trash. Get the vacuum. Turn it on. Push it all around your room - THIS INCLUDES BEHIND THE DOOR AND UNDER THE BED!
Thursday - "zone 4" Desk, bedside table and dresser. Throw away trash. Put away any toys that might be there. Tidy school supplies and junk from your desk drawers. Bring your clothes to the laundry room so I can do laundry.
Friday - "zone 5" Basement. Make sure all video games and DVD's are in the correct cases. Pick up and PUT AWAY toys and games on the floor. Any pop cans or wrappers are to be thrown in the garbage can.
AND ONE FINAL REMINDER: THE NO EVIDENCE RULE IS ALWAYS IN EFFECT!! Upon exit of every room it should look the same as, or better than when you first entered it. There should be no evidence of your being there including the toilet being flushed and the light being turned OFF!
Your cooperation will result in continued availability of the tvs, dvd players, bicycles, use of pool, computers, playstation, playstation 2, x box, Nintendo, game boys, visitation to or from friends, ipods, cell phones, telephones, as well as the use of any other game or toy that you show a liking to. Failure to comply with the expectaitions listed above will result in a one week loss of one - up to all of the above, depending on the circumstances.
May seem harsh at first, but after a week of harping, they just started doing it. I have to help Brett vacuum his room properly, but he still tries!
thank you You should! A friend of mine did it with her kids and swore by it. So, I figured I'd give it a try and could not believe that it worked so easily! It also forces me to do laundry twice a week, but it's way better than looking at the mountain of clothes that I used to encounter! Always threatened that one day I was going to jump off it and plunge to my death... Now it's a couple quick loads a couple times a week, and I'm never digging through laundry baskets looking for boy's pants that "aren't too dirty" Yes, it's gross, and yes, I have done that many times in the past!
I swear by my chart. If I had the ability, I would even write a book about it! Although I seem to be getting pretty good at writing short novels..
When my kids were preschool age we used to have the same battle..until I explained to my children (that at that time would believe everything their mommy told them ) that toys do not like to be left out unless someone is still playing with them; that they are worried they'll be stepped on or the dog will carry them off.That if they're left out carelessly that they start to feel unloved...To illustrate this I read them "The Velveteen Rabbit" so they could see toys long to be loved and treated respectfully. But my kids were little and make-believe still lives at my house.
hope that helps, at least with the youngest...
Wendy
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