Has anyone been to a wedding where there was no cake but pie instead? My daugher-in-law to be does not like cake and is thinking of doing this. If so, how was it set up and how did it go over with the guests, etc.

Joanne

My oldest sister did this, but it was also just a backyard BBQ because they got married on vacation by themselves and had a party when they got back. I'm sure it would like fine on fancy cake stands. The guests better not care!

I personally would be very dissapointed. I love cake. Some people don't though. I just did a grooms cake made out of stacked cookies because the groom didn't like cake.

It's really the bride and grooms choice. Since she is probably in the minority, why don't they do a traditional wedding cake for the guests and then have a special little pie or dessert for their own eating.

My brother and his wife and my sister and her husband both had strawberry cheesecakes as their "wedding cake." Everyone at both weddings loved the idea that it wasn't a cake.

I made a grooms cake for my Aunt in December when she got married. It only served about 30 people. She then ordered 6 different kinds of cheesecake (all 3/4 sheet sizes) They had more cake than cheesecake left over. The cake got eaten when they opened there gift, but the cheesecake was the first to go b/c it was different and OH so good (i'll admit i didn't eat any of my cake, I ate the cheesecake too!)

She has also mentioned possibly cheesecake. She is still trying to decide which route to go.

Joanne

Here's part of my speech to brides:

"Contrary to what you think, this day is not about you. While you are at the front of the church, exchanging vows, then yes, at that point it IS about you. But once you walk out of that church, you are now the host and hostess of an event and you have guests to take care of. So as you make your decisions, you need to make them with your guests' comfort and enjoyment in mind."

Also:

"Your wedding cake is the only food designated at your wedding as wedding food. You don't have wedding chicken or wedding salad, but you do have wedding cake. And the only place to get wedding cake is at a wedding."

The bride and groom don't like cake. Fine. Have some pies as an alternative food/dessert for them. But do not be rude to your guests. A wedding is an orchestrated pagentry of custom and tradition. And when you thumb your nose at what many of your guests may enjoy, then you are the ones being rude.

None of us would throw a New Years Eve party and place zero consideration on what our guests may enjoy eating. Why do brides and grooms suddenly go into "me! me! me!" mode and throw good manners aside?

I don't think a bride and groom are being rude to guests if they prefer pies over wedding cakes just as though I don't think they are being rude if they serve chicken over steak since my preference is steak. .. you can't please everyone and that day really is all about them .. so if I don't like chicken I just go onto the next entree ..

Indy--I agree with you. I think you absolutely need to consider your guests at your wedding. If you don't like cake, fine have whatever you want but please have some cake for your guests. Also, I feel the same way about couples who have 2 to 3 hours in between their wedding and reception, what are your guests supposed to do for that time? especially if they are from far away. This is what causes guests to just skip the ceremony and go straight to the reception.

I do agree that it is a party hosted by the bride and groom and they should take into consideration their guests, but....they are also the ones paying for the party and they have the final say. If a guest complained to me that they thought it was rude that I had pie instead of cake, they would be off my list for the next party.

I think a wedding is about the bride & groom. If they want pie let them eat pie~ Pie weddings are very popular here. The set up is really very pretty. They have all kinds of flavors. Another thing I've hear that is starting to get popular is ice cream sundae weddings. Too funny~

please let me clarify .... I don't find it rude for someone to have pie instead of cake.

This is the first time they are hosting an event as a couple. They have a responsiblity to see to the comfort AND ENJOYMENT of all of their guests.

It's rude if they make that decision while wearing the hat of "well, *I* like pie and screw everybody else!" It's a symptom of the I-Me-My generation .... they've been treated like the center of the universe and they think the whole world revolves around them therefore it only matters what THEY want.

I can tell immediately what foods I'm going to be throwing out at the end of the night by how a couple orders their buffet: the foods that are selected because "I don't know how many people like those, but I like them so that's what we're getting."

I don't like sour cream ... but I would never plan a dinner with a mexican theme without setting sour cream out on the table. That would be rude and inconsiderate to my guests who like sour cream with their mexican dishes.

I may have sidetraced the original issue, and I apologize for that.

I can see both sides. Even though I think they should have pie if they want, I didn't do that with my wedding. I did everything so that my guests would be comfortable and happy with the meal. I did a basic flavor for my cake because I've heard of some couples doing all kinds of crazy flavors and not one plain (like white or yellow) and I think that's not fair to the guests. I knew someone who did some kind of peanut butter cake. Um, what about the guests who have peanut allergies?

Hey tatter- try to go with the topic there dude.

I think pie is fun! I probably would be dissappointed but.... I agree with pp who say its their day. Its not like they are not serving dessert at all. As the host you choose the menu.

Well.... can I be deadly honest As the mother in law , you are probably treading on fine water. You have a lifetime with your new daughter and to argue over cake or pie just wouldnt seem worth it, right?
I think originality is wonderful. Everyone loves pie and it will be a special memory FOR THEM of their wedding.
I would just go with it ... but demand cake on the kids birthdays

Spudcake,

I have been to several weddings without a traditional wedding cake.

3 where they served and assortment of cheesecakes, nicely set on different height trivet like holders with flowers and cloths.

1 was strawberry shortcake the strawberries were and cream were the centerpiece for each table, The pound cake was sliced square and served.

1 there were pies and presented similar to the cheesecakes. They used those satelite cakes holders for the pies.

Just different, it's less formal

Have you thought or even wanted to suggest making a small cake for them yourself - not for everyone but just a little for pics or for look of for people who dont like pie?

Just an idea. Just trying to make everyone happy!

Good Luck.

I don't think it's inconsiderate to choose pie as a dessert just because it isn't traditional. As a cake junkie, it's hard to imagine a wedding without one but pies are good, lots of people like them, and I've seen some beautiful pies that could be presented very elegantly. I don't think it's rude of the bride not to get cake for her guests - she is serving them dessert after all. Yes, she and her new hubby are hosting an elaborate party for all of their friends / families but serving pie instead of cake should not upset anyone, would not ruin anyone's night, and I guarantee you that it will be remembered. Don't worry about what anyone else will think- those who mumble and grumble about not getting cake probably aren't gracious guests to begin with and would have found something else to complain about.

As long as both the bride and the groom agree and they're both happy with the event, then I say they should go for it. No rules of etiquette are being broken as far as I can see.

Pies are actualyy trendy. Just like a dessert buffet. I have done a wedding cake with cake and dessert buffet and they went crazy bananas that it was different!

Its kinda funny cuz to me it sounds like about the same thing as the people who have cupcakes!!

(please don't yell at me- they just seem b-day party to me. I know the can be very fancy- im just saying thats all.....)

I think the idea of pies or cheesecakes are great. I love cake myself, but think a wedding should express the bride and groom so if they don't like cake, let them have pie!

I did a wedding last summer that the bride and groom didn't like cake. They wanted a ice cream cake. We ended up doing 8" cakes (regular) for each table and the bride, groom and wedding party had an ice cream cake.
There are a lot of ways they could go, they could serve pie to all their guests, or they could have pie, and serve cake to all their guests, or they could do a dessert buffet as some one else mentioned previously.

Just to clarify, I am not tying to change her mind. It's her day and she needs to have what she wants. She asked me what I thought about it and how she could go about it. The intention of my post was to get ideas on how to do the pie thing, and also how well received at weddings they have been.

Joanne

Here's a website about wedding pies. The company was on Foodtv's Top 5

http://www.achatzpies.com/weddings.php

Though this might help

TC...I actually had found that page and read it also. Thank you ladies for the input, I think whatever they choose will reflect them. Thanks again.

Joanne

Having pie or cheesecakes sounds really cool--but I would be worried about blueberry or cherry pie filling up my nose!!!!

Your welcome!