This reminds me of something that happened years ago. A good friend and her family had come for dinner. Her youngest-about 3 or 4 at the time- was in the kitchen with me and asked what we were having for dinner. When I told him, looked at me and said in all sincerity , "I love... whatever it was." I started laughing immediately because I knew he didn't like that item at all. His parents had obviously given their three children warnings about not saying anything bad about the food just before they arrived.
Their mother was always very clear about how they were to behave. She told them ahead of time, and they knew from experience that she meant what she said. I was at the country club one Sunday morning with them and her eldest- about 10 at the time- spotted some ill behaved children at another table and commented, "Those kids are really stupid and they don't know to act in public." The truth is that parents of ill-behaved children are the stupid ones.
Sorry about the rude guests in your home. But I love the flower pot theme. I may have to do that for my future DIL's bridal shower. Too cute.
I am cringing at the thought of this ungrateful child... but even moreso at the mother. She is obviously the problem. The child is a product of her teaching, and will be no more intelligent or conscientious than the mother.
I, too, left a good job to raise my son. My college education is not being wasted as some in my life have alluded to... it's being used to bring up a child that (God willing) will actually be a joy to the world, and not another punk trying to use every person he meets, and treating everyone else like they exist for his personal amusement. (Unfortunately I have a neice like that) I know we cannot really know (or force) what our children will grow to be, but we must work hard to insure they have the skills and teachings to TRY to be the best person they can be. I want to be the biggest influence on my son's life, and I want to be a good one! 
As far as other people's children, even if they are rotten, they still behave in my house. I will have it no other way. I know a teen boy who treats his parents terribly, using profanity to them, etc. but he acts like a military trained little cadet at my house. His sister told me it's because he's afraid to step out of line with me. But I know he's not really 'afraid' of me because he will come up and put his head on my shoulder, etc. I think I've just shown him that he should respect me, and I've made it clear that he will not act like that in my home. I have also tried to encourage him to show this respect with his own parents, and hopefully it will rub off a little. I also know part of the reason he behaves is because my house is the fun place that everyone wants to go to, and he doesn't want to be left out!
Oh my, look at the novel I've written. I guess you had no idea you'd stumbled onto one of my biggest 'issues'! 
I could talk for hours about this!
I really admire your restraint and am sorry you had to put up with that behavior. It reminds me of a Christmas party I went to this past Christmas. The lady hosting the party had her 6 year old granddaughter there. I had made an assorted plate with decorated candy of different kinds and gingerbread men and teddy bear cookies decorated with MMF with drawn on details. The assortment meant there were about 6 of each kind on the plate. This little girl took about 5 of the teddy bears on her plate and just played with them like toys and then eventually just ate their heads off and left the rest on the plate. I was steamed but could do nothing but watch. I don't know if her grandmother knew what she was doing in the hub bub, but I'm sure that was not the first time the little girl had done something similar.
Everyone is so right on the topic of RSVP's. Here's what I have on my FAQ page on my website:
What is your #1 suggestion for saving money?
DON'T buy RSVP cards. They are a waste of money. Why? Bluntly, because people today tend to be very rude and won't return them on time. Or they don't return them at all and show up anyway. Or they return them saying "We'll be there" and then they don't show up.
We sell them. We'd actually make money on each sale. But we will try our hardest to talk you out of them. You have the added cost of the purchase of the RSVP itself. You have to buy extra postage to put on each and every RSVP return envelope (that may or may not even get returned!). Sometimes, adding the RSVP to your invitation mailing will increase the cost of the invitations postage. And when it all boils down, most brides end up guessing how many will actually show up.
True story: Mother of the bride called me to increase the number of guests by 10, as she had received some last minute RSVP's, putting her guest grand total at 145. That's 145 confirmed RSVP's. There were 92 people at the reception. (And our formula predicted it!).
Another true story: Co-workers was making those last minute phone calls to get headcounts for her son's wedding. She called her best friend who had not returned the RSVP. Friend said, in a very indignant voice; "Well, you should know that *I* would be there!" Oh, I guess the rules don't apply to HER and everyone should just KNOW what she's gonna do.
People are rude and crude (and stupid). That's why I tell brides just to use my 60% Rule.
Poor girl only has her rude mother to look up to! There is no excuse for poor manners IMHO. Of course she isn't going to correct her child when she is behaving even worse. I think you handled yourself very well. I could feel myself getting worked up just reading your post.
I would have asked her politely to leave....and sent her a bill for her impromptu "cake tasting" appointment. ha ha ha....oh wait is that rude?
I agree, rude kids and their equally rude parents drive me insane! My cousin and her kids were visiting a few weeks ago when her 6yo daughter came in the room and yelled, "I want water!" repeatedly. Did I offer her water? Not on your life! Then her mom just says, "Well, we'll go home now, I have some water in the car." Then my sweet 5yo daughter brings my cousin's daughter a cup of water - unasked, and my cousin's "DD" looks at it and whines, "I want bottled water from the car!" Did my cousin point out how rude she was? No, she said, "OK, we'll go in a minute." My poor daughter was so heartbroken, she had done something nice and been treated so rudely. I thanked her for being so thoughtful and nice, hoping my cousin would take a hint, but no such luck.
I have babysat her kids several times and her daughter is like this every time. I won't put up with that kind of behavior from her when I'm babysitting and I always have to remind her of her manners and let her know that "we don't call people that in our home." I try not to babysit as much as possible because of this because my kids start to pick up their bad behavior. It makes me feel bad because she's a single mom without too many other resources outside of day care - of course there are the times her day care provider calls her a day ahead of time and says she's taking a vacation. Guess who the backup is. Sorry to rant so long. I can't really do it to my family.
KatieTaylor77, I am sorry you went though that, this is not my first reply to this post, but I love/hate this topic because manners are so important to me. You showed great restraint. I applaude that, I know how difficult it can be and sometimes I just want to explode and explain to the parent what they are really doing to their child.
Like so many of you have said before, I absolutely hate it when people are rude. 
I am so happy to not be alone. 
I send out thank you cards to friends and I have my sons write or do something in their thank you cards so you know they have touched it.
For my 5 year old last monht, I recorded what he was saying when he opened his presents and wrote that in the cards. I was afraid I was going to have to edit stuff, but he was so cute I did not have to. People were later thanking me for the thank you cards! Ok I am old fashioned but If my mom was still here and she did not get a thank, you better believe I would hear about it. It would be suttle like... .uhm so did you put enough postage on your thank you's or where the kids helping with the postage or something like that!
I have friends that say, dont worry about the thank you, if they give me a gift. Well sorry, your gonna get one. I teach my children and that is the way it goes! 
Everything you guys have said about Parents no teaching their children and no saying no is true. I say no and when I do if they dont listen, I count to 3, they know a consequence will follow if I get to 3, either a time out (sometimes even if we are in a store - not too often anymore) or they will loose a priviledge, movie, computer time, no time with friends, straight to bed or they will loose some points. Our point system works, so good that it's been 8 months and now my oldest will get up in the morning, get dressed and make his bed so he gets his points - more points equal more priviledges computer time and what not. (boy I am glad I dont need points to be on this website I would have to do a lot of chores!)....
I also think that parents who cannot say no are just afraid to not be their child's friend. "We are not to be their friend we are their parent, and teacher and guardian. We love, teach and keep them safe!" How about that!
My DH and I watch the Nanny shows and get a few pointers here and there, but for the most part we are thankfull that we do not have even 5% of those issues.
I have friends who both work, and who run their house like ours and their kids are the best, well behaved, good hearted and just plain nice. I have other friends who work and their kids run the roost, because the parents are afraid to say no, or to take the time to say no it's 8pm and it's time for bed, no intead they let the kids while and scream until 11 or 12 midnight 
and kids are cranky the next day and the whole things starts over. It's insane. 
Make your rules, let your kids know what they are, follow them and follow through. It's hard work, but it has to be done. Sometimes I feel like an army mom, but this laisser-faire attitude provides these kids with no direction and no rules in life. There are a lot of rules in life and it's easier to learn that early than to find out the hard way later.
I get so enraged, when parents are not willing to say no to their kid just because they are throwing a fit. Are they afraid that if they say no, someone will report them to the police for doing so. If they were to hit or anything like that, of course that is different.
But come on, learn to get a backbone and it's easy N.O. as in NO! 
That type of parenting is B as in B and S as in S. Thanks to Joe Soucheray for that one - local MN radio guy!
When my kids have a fit, first off, I say breath in through you nose and out through your mouth. Well guess what, they cannot cry anymore and they start to get the Oxygen they need to settle down. Then I can explain to them calmly that we are not purchasing what they are wining about because that is not why we are here. When we a toy shopping, believe me they know it!
Ok, I have ranted enough. It's 8:48, it took 45 minutes for my youngest to fall asleep, but this is the 4th night dad has been out of town and the first night it took longer than 5 minutes for him to get to sleep. So I am thankfull. Consistency is the key! Hard work but oh so rewarding.
Thanks for reading my rant....I love this site
Good Luck.
There was a similar discussion a while ago, I really enjoyed it. I can not tolerate undisciplined, badly behaved children or adults. I don't know why parents think they must be friends with their children. You can not be a friend & a good parent at the same time. You will become a friend to your children when they are grown up, if you have done your job right. The duty of a parent is to love your child, discipline your child, teach your child how to grow up to be someone who knows where the bounderies are. So many kids today turn into criminals because they were not taught that there are bounderies & right from wrong. It is so sad. My children & I are best friends today, but when they were growing up, there was no doubt as to who was the boss.
I would have said to the woman, (after she said they were going to take the bitten cakes home),"No you're not, they are garbage now", and thrown them into the trash right then and there in front of them.
My preschool kids may not have learned manners at home, but by heavens they did in MY classroom.
.... You can not be a friend & a good parent at the same time. You will become a friend to your children when they are grown up, if you have done your job right. The duty of a parent is to love your child, discipline your child, teach your child how to grow up to be someone who knows where the bounderies are. ..... My children & I are best friends today, but when they were growing up, there was no doubt as to who was the boss.
Amen! My grown and married daughter is my best friend. She has told me for years that the reason her friends liked hanging at our house was because she had a "cool" mom. How did they define that? I wasn't trying to be their friend. I was the mom who told them, "The cokes are in the refrigerator, but I better not see any emtpty cans in this room when you are done! You all know where the trash is!" I was the mom who imposed our safety rules on all of her friends .... you call your parents when you're on your way home and you call us to let us know you got home ok. We had rules in our house and EVERYONE was expected to follow them. I wasn't a 30 something year old mom trying to be 16 .... I was the MOM! And her friends preferred that.
We've rec'd I can't tell you how many compliments re: our kids and their behavior. I'm pretty proud of my kids .... 2 of them grew up and joined the military; my son announced his decision to enlist the day after 9-11. (My youngest is 14 and wants to own a bar and be in a rock band .... oh well, I guess I can't have it all! )
On the other hand, I have a friend who wanted to be the POP-ular mom! As a result, her kids were not only big brats but in trouble with the law before they could even drive!
You can be a friend and a parent .... but you have to be a parent FIRST!
this is so sad. People today (and I'm sorry to say this....even moreso in OC, CA) are so self absorbed that to show respect and consideration and basic manners. It boggles my mind. What's worse is when parents don't feel the need to raise their kids to be polite, respectful, and just generally quiet while at an adult gathering.
It's what things are coming to .....at least here in the states.
Children do not choose to behave, they are *taught* to behave and such behavior is brought about by loving correction and discipline when necessary!
My daughter is always reminded that the only reason she gets to do extra things - coming to my office, volunteering, getting extras - is because she is a pleasure to be around. People compliment her on how she acts in public. It is not an over night teaching. We have been "thumping" in to her head since she was a baby -she's 13 now. It has not been easy to be that consistent when the easy way would be to let her be how she wants to be.
"She wouldn't be throwing a fit like this if you would just let her have what she wants". WHAT!!!??? This is how some people think I guess. Better to apease (sp) the child than to teach them boundaries and discipline. (sorry to interject my rant on the subject)
My husband and I taught our daughter that if she threw a fit, we would leave, right then. We were at Disney and she was waiting for something that caused her to throw a fit. We left the park. Never again after that did she have a "fit".
Amen! My grown and married daughter is my best friend. She has told me for years that the reason her friends liked hanging at our house was because she had a "cool" mom. How did they define that? I wasn't trying to be their friend. I was the mom who told them, "The cokes are in the refrigerator, but I better not see any emtpty cans in this room when you are done! You all know where the trash is!" I was the mom who imposed our safety rules on all of her friends .... you call your parents when you're on your way home and you call us to let us know you got home ok. We had rules in our house and EVERYONE was expected to follow them. I wasn't a 30 something year old mom trying to be 16 .... I was the MOM! And her friends preferred that.
We've rec'd I can't tell you how many compliments re: our kids and their behavior. I'm pretty proud of my kids .... 2 of them grew up and joined the military; my son announced his decision to enlist the day after 9-11. (My youngest is 14 and wants to own a bar and be in a rock band .... oh well, I guess I can't have it all!
)On the other hand, I have a friend who wanted to be the POP-ular mom! As a result, her kids were not only big brats but in trouble with the law before they could even drive!
You can be a friend and a parent .... but you have to be a parent FIRST!
Indidebi, good for you and your kids. Who knows by the time your youngest is out of school he might decide to join you in your business, imagine that, you cater the wedding and he does the band and manages the bar!
I totally agree with how parenting is important, when I grew up, my friends were always at our house. My mom was kind of like you. She would let us do stuff, but we had rules and we knew it. I cannot count how many times, I would come down to the kitchen and find 2 or 3 of my friends talking with my parents waiting for me, when I did not know they were there.
I once came down and 2 of my friends were baking a cake with my mom and another friend was in the garage with my dad building something for my dad's train set it's was 14X24 in our basement!
My parent were teachers to my friends, and I think that is why my friends like it at our house. They always learned something and they knew the boundaries. This really showed when my mom passed, most all my high school friends were there even though it had been hum... 20 years since we graduated and I live 1500 miles away in another country.
Now I do the same with my kids friends or any child that comes to my house. I give them the rules and tell them I expect them to follow, if they don't they will loose privileges and guess what, they listen and they come back and the remember the rules. I also make stuff fun for them, I play with them we do treasure hunts and go on all kinds of pretend expeditions, but that's because I'm a big kid. They usually get to decorate cupcakes for snacks or bake cookies. But they listen and do everything I say. I often make them do homework too, it's so much fun to see them having fun doing it.
Parenting is unconditional love, continued teaching and guidance at every turn, there is no substitute for the time it takes to make your kids understand that.
It not easy and it takes a long time and it show once they become adults. In their characters and in their actions. My kids are still small but I have seen a lot of kids grow up and the parenting style they had and you can tell it's amazing. Too bad not enough other people see that or are willing to take the time and put in the effort and hard work it takes to help create, nice mannered individuals who will do something with their lives, move out and start their own family and keep the cycle going.
Good Luck!
Not being willing to spend the time and effort to teach your children good manners is a form of child abuse. No one enjoys being around an ill- mannered, self-centered adult. Those adults are rarely happy, and they don't have a clue as to why others don't enjoy their company.
Simple, poor early training. That is what too many parents lose sight of- they are not raising children, they are raising adults. If you want your children to be happy and successful adults, then you have to start from the time they start walking to learn the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Those lessons are learned only by example, repetition and consistency.
along the lines of 'rules', my 14-year old just signed up on CC so she could find out why I'm so addicted. She's been given the "mom" speech on how to act on here .... her intro post is in the "general" forum ... her screen name is "indydebi_daughter" so there is no hiding from mom, even in here!
I'm enlisting you all as my proxy-moms! If you read anything she posts that is out of line, I want to know about it! 
indydebi.....your daughter, I'm SURE, will be nothing but perfectly behaved here. Parents that make the investment (yes...it's an investment) into their children's future by laying down the rules very early on have the pleasure of reaping the benefit of seeing their children well liked in society.
Gorgeous cakes and cookies
I am sorry you had to experience that woman and her daughter.
I find it hard to believe that parents think that other people consider their childs bad behaviour cute and acceptable. I am only 21 and dont have kids yet but when I do they will not be allowed to act like that.
I just finished 8 months of doing full time child care, over in France. This biggest complaint that my friends and I had was how rude children are, With the kids I cared for I was always having to press them for please and thank you's and having to remind them that being rude will NEVER get them what they want with me. A lot of the parents worked full time and when they got home were very relaxed with their children because they felt guilty that they are not there all the time. I felt like screaming at some of those parents that being a relaxed parent is not the way to make up for being away. If you cannot be there all the time you have to work extra hard during the time you are with them to instill a sense of disipline.
Now I was not raised a perfect angel by any means. Now that I am older though, I look back and cringe when I realize how rude I was sometimes. Now I make a concious effort to be as polite as possible, because I want to be able to pass my mannerisms on to my future children. I never want to be the mum at the party with the rude children.
I see it so often at my childrens school. I too stay home to raise mine and if I didn't that kind of behaviour would still not be accepted. I'm so sorry you had to deal with the woman and her child 
katietaylor77: where did you purchase your terra cotta pots? I've been looking online, I love the idea (of course without copying and adding my own changes). I'd love to do one for my mother for mother's day and include a package of seeds.
Are there any directions you can share? How do you clean the pots and do you bake the cake in the pots? How do you keep the batter from running out the bottom hole?
Darandon: You just said exactly what my boyfriend tells me all the time! He doesn't care if we have to waste a bunch of money just to get our point across . . . but he has even said no matter what, even if we are at Disneyland, it only takes actually leaving once for your kids to get the point.
Speaking of which, I went to Disneyland yesterday with my mom and brother's girlfriend. GEESH! There were so many tired kids who just weren't able to keep up and yet their parents kept pushing and pushing them to do more . . . ugh. I even saw one woman BY HERSELF on the tram . . . she had a two month old child . . . and said to everyone around her this was her babies first official trip to Disneyland and she was so excited. Are you kidding me??? She wanted to go in and take pics with all the characters and such . . . ridiculous! Its a two month old. . . she shouldnt have brought a baby that small to such a crazy place. All these strangers kept touching the baby and I was cringing. I swear, the "Happiest Place On Earth" sure encourages some wacky behavior.
All these responses are giving me hope that we will be able to do things right once we have children of our own. (We have some serious baby lust so I'm hoping we can start a family in a year.) Thanks everyone for your support . . . its good to know I'm not an old woman trapped in a 29 year old body.
As for the cakes, thanks for the compliments. I found a thread in the forums that gave instructions for baking cakes in the pots. I bought the pots at Michaels and scrubbed the heck out of them. I put them on cookie sheets lined in foil and coated them in veggie oil. I then baked the empty pots at 180 for about 2 hours.
Just fill them 2/3 way up with batter . . . I baked mine for about 40 to 45 minutes. (Keeping them on the foil lined cookie sheets prevented leaking from the bottom of the pots.) I used the cupcake filling tip from Wilton to inject filling into some of them also. The buttercream grass was pretty, but it was really messy so people still need a dessert plate under their pot when they eat. I'm tempted to do this again but with a larger cake for Mother's Day . . . but we shall see.[/quote]
All these responses are giving me hope that we will be able to do things right once we have children of our own. (We have some serious baby lust so I'm hoping we can start a family in a year.) Thanks everyone for your support . . . its good to know I'm not an old woman trapped in a 29 year old body.
[/quote]
You are thinking the right way, you're not an old woman in a young body. My poor daughter gets it all the time with "do you see how your friend is acting? do you think you'd be able to do that?" Everything is a life lesson to her. But now I"m hearing her say the same things ",.....did you see that...."
What size pots did you use? I want to do that for mother's day for the mom's in the neighborhood.
The pots are 4" tall I think . . . just kind of the equivalent of a slice of cake in a pot. They were silly cheap, like 69 cents each. I've seen some pics in the galleries here of people just making cupcakes and dropping them into the tops of the pots, but the ones that would have fit for that project were tall pots and I didn't like them. All my ideas were from here on CC . . . the galleries have a few good pics.
When my kids have a fit, first off, I say breath in through you nose and out through your mouth. Well guess what, they cannot cry anymore and they start to get the Oxygen they need to settle down. Then I can explain to them calmly that we are not purchasing what they are wining about because that is not why we are here. When we a toy shopping, believe me they know it!
I do this too!! Works great. My son is 3, and by no means perfect, but he does know to say please and thank you and excuse me. We are working on him to say excuse me and then wait for an answer, and he is learning, albeit slowly. We still have work to do with him, but he is much more well behaved then most children I see and have been told as much by many adults around us. Even my stepdad, who is very big on manners have praised my dh and I on how well we are doing with him. Manners are big with me too and I have no problem saying no to my child and he knows it!! It is one of the best things we can do for our children IMO.
Anyway, Katie, the cakes and cookies are beautiful. I'm sorry you had to deal with such rudeness.[/quote]
When my kids have a fit, first off, I say breath in through you nose and out through your mouth. Well guess what, they cannot cry anymore and they start to get the Oxygen they need to settle down. Then I can explain to them calmly that we are not purchasing what they are wining about because that is not why we are here. When we a toy shopping, believe me they know it!
I do this too!! Works great. My son is 3, and by no means perfect, but he does know to say please and thank you and excuse me. We are working on him to say excuse me and then wait for an answer, and he is learning, albeit slowly. We still have work to do with him, but he is much more well behaved then most children I see and have been told as much by many adults around us. Even my stepdad, who is very big on manners have praised my dh and I on how well we are doing with him. Manners are big with me too and I have no problem saying no to my child and he knows it!! It is one of the best things we can do for our children IMO.
Anyway, Katie, the cakes and cookies are beautiful. I'm sorry you had to deal with such rudeness.
mdsquared - I am so glad someone else is doing this. I know it works great. Our oldest is 5 and we are still working on stuff so it takes a lot of patience, but when you see the results it's great.
To everyone trying to be a good parent, I have one more thing to say.
' It is very easy to be a bad parent & very hard to be a good parent. God Bless all the good parents, stay strong.
superstar - Thank you for that comment it's so true.
Good Luck.
Wow, the mini pot cakes are really pretty! How do you clean and season the pots?
That is so horrible! We always try to work on being polite with our three boys. If they happen to do something rude before we can catch them, we always correct them and demand that they apologize to the person. (Like one time my 4 yo decided to take a sit on somebody's pallet cart at Sam's Club...I immediately told him to get up and tell the man he is sorry for sitting on his stuff!) Usually the person just laughs it off and says nothing to worry about but its still the fact that kids have to learn to respect others time, possessions, and space and they have to learn their boundaries. Kids aren't perfect, but you can tell the difference between a kid who makes a mistake (parent is embarrassed and sorry and apologizes and tries to make it right) or kids who are spoiled rotten (parents don't care and don't see why you do). We also work on "please", "thank you", "no, thank you", etc. We often get compliments from other diners in restaurants we visit. Its true though you have to start early working on them.
goodcakefairy: I found a thread on here about baking in these pots . . . some people use soap and hot water, others said not to. I ended up using scalding hot water and soaking them for a while, then scrubbing them really well and soaking in hot water again. Then I just seasoned them with veggie oil and put them in the oven for a few hours . . . it was a pain with so many smaller pots but considering how little there was to clean up later, it worked out great.
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%