I gave my friend her wedding shower yesterday and I was so floored by the lack of manners people have these days!!!

First off, the invites clearly stated to "Kindly respond by April 15th." I had quite a few people who never responded, but decided to show up anyways. Grrrrrr.

The party began at 3 in the afternoon. I actuall had a woman show up with her daughter, who is the flower girl, after 5!!! Are you kidding me? Just don't come then! Its not like she lived far away . . . there wasnt any traffic, etc.

The woman who showed up late also made an extremely racist comment towards the brides step-sister. Her step-sister looks Native American, she's very pretty with long dark hair, full lips, HUGE dark eyes . . . she is georgeous. She has quite a few tattoos and is a bit punk rock . . . but I love her and expect my guests to treat her with respect while they are in my home. This stranger woman showed up late, somehow ended up holding the step-sisters baby at one point and when the baby started crying said "I guess she's not used to white women holding her." WHAT??????????? In what world do you say that while handing a screaming baby back to her mother??? Not only that, but the babys gramma, great-gramma and step-aunt are all Irish-American, I'm super light, etc. Not used to someone white holding her? Are you kidding me? And when someone corrected her for being so rude, the woman kept making up lame excuses for her comment but never stopped to apologize!

The best part was the cakes . . . I am fuming about the cakes. I spent a lot of time cleaning and seasons 25 mini terra cotta pots and baking individual cakes. I made champagne, strawberry with berry filling and chocolate with chocolate mousse. I found the flowergirl (whose mother got there late) in the kitchen with 3 pots spread out before her on the counter. (Keep in mind each pot had a sizeable cake in it .. .) The girl had taken one of each flavor and taken a bite of each of them--and then decided which flavor she wanted, went back and got a 4th cake and began eating it!!! I looked at her mom and said "Really? 4 cakes? Am I right that she just took one bite out of these and then got another one?" Her moms reply? "Don't worry about it, we're taking these 3 home with us anyways." WHAT?????? I am so irritated by that point with this woman . . . I said, "Thats not the point. If you want to take an extra one home all you have to do is ask, but for a 6 year old to go through 4 cakes and really only eat half of one is not really ok with me. I had enough cake for the bride to take the extras for her dad and her groom . . . now there won't be any for them." Seriously, this woman just stared at me. I don't get it, how do you let your child do these things and not correct them!?!?!?!

I have come to the conclusion that people are going to diasppoint me no matter what when it comes to manners anymore. It makes me so sad.

I work with a woman who is raising her 4 year old daughter to be respectful and polite at all times. I adore this little girl . . .she has such a joyful, sweet disposition and is such a loving little thing. She has the best manners of any child I have ever met, down to calling me "Miss Katie." I know I was always raised to call adults Mr or Mrs, but no one does that anymore. I am always so pleased with this little girl and love being around her. Her poor mom has such guilt sometimes about being strict with her daughter about her manners . . . but as a parent I would think it is a compliment that so many people adore her daughter and enjoy the way she is being raised. If only everyone were more diligent about manners these days . . .

yes i agree...manners have gone through the window. it is a shame.

i hope the party was a success other than the two mannerless people. but we really cant blame the kids...its the parents fault.

I think some people should have to get a license to have kids.

Your experience just ticks me right off. Of course, we're considered rude if we mention anything to offensive guests.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I totally agree. I left a great career to stay home and raise my children because I believe that too many children are raised by one or more of the following: a) stupid parents, b) paid childcare workers and/or c) the public school system

Peope frequently say to me "Your children are so well behaved!" and I quickly correct them, saying, "No, my children are well-disciplined" Children do not choose to behave, they are *taught* to behave and such behavior is brought about by loving correction and discipline when necessary!

Kudos for not cracking her over the head with the clay pots. It might have knocked some sense into her.

Makes you just want to slap her!! We wonder why chioldren are like they are. I have 4 girls and I will not tolerate not being polite. I can excuse some things but you had better say thank you and please.Yes Sir and Yes Maam. Heck, I still say it to my elders even though I am 40, it is just common courtesy. If one of my children had done that, they would have drawn back a nub!

I am sure the bride appriecated all you did for her. It does amaze me at how parents forget that they are parents and have a responsiblity to parent their children. I am a strick with my three kids (8y,5y, 20m) and I do feel guilty sometimes, but then I see how other kids behave and how they are treated and looked at by other adults and it makes me feel better. I don't want to brag, but I see that my kids are treated better because they are respectful(yes sir, yes maam, no thank you, please) and mindful. I feel we do a disservice to our kids by not teaching them manners and proper behavior. Sorry this is something I am passionate about.

That is why, at family events, it is made very clear that I am in charge, no matter whose event it is. And they stay out of the kitchen for it.

G-r-r-r-r, WOOF!
Theresa

What a party, I am too through with the rude adult and the child and her parent. That was a bit much for me.

I hope everything else went well for you.

What makes it worse is when you are delivering a tiered cake and you are setting it up and putting the last finishing touches on it and there are 10 kids running around the cake and bumping the table and getting right up beside you and bumping your arm while you are applying icing. UUUGGGHHHHH!!!! And the worse part is I had to correct them MYSELF!!!!! And after I repeatedly said please stop hitting the table....the parents of these children said, " Oh, come here guys." in this really weak voice that didnt sound like they really meant it. So, 20 seconds later the kids were doing the same thing. My husband went with me to deliver this cake and he saw how much time I had spent on it and you could just see the look of horror on his face.....he thought I was gonna go crazy on them, lol.

I have 3 children, so don't think I have no patience!! But my kids stay away from my cakes, lol. They know better. They will come and take a peek and then walk away, you know?

Along the same lines as this incident.....my sister n law lets my nephew pretty much run wild and do what he wants. He is 2 years old and he slaps her in the face, pinches her breast and does whatever the heck he wants!! Its unbelievable..and yet when he is with me, he behaves because he knows he has to. Back to my story.....I made a cake a few weeks ago for my sisters birthday and when had a party at her house. My sister n law puts my nephew on the kitchen counter RIGHT BESIDE my cake. He starts poking his finger at it and touching it and she says, "no honey, no honey" Then 2 seconds later, he's doing it again. After a few minutes of this( because my sister had not seen her cake yet) I said will you please get him off the counter because I worked really hard on this cake. She has the nerve to say, "well he was crying cuz he wanted up here" I though I was going to slap her right in the head.
Anyways.....didnt mean to vent!!!!! But it all comes down to manners and respect and most of the time its the ADULTS!!!! And when it is the children (its the adult's fault for not teaching them better!)

Luckily the party went well, in spite of bad weather. Who knew that sunny Southern California would be drizzly and chilly in late April!?!?!

I had originally rented tables and chairs to set out on the deck, and bought a ton of stuff to decorate them pretty elaborately. Oh well . . . we moved the party indoors and everyone had to balance their plates on their knees but it worked out really well. The food was great, the cakes were super cute, the favors looked nice . . . I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out on my end.

The grooms mom didn't speak much english and it was probably really awkward for her to be in a strangers home with such a communication barrier, but she was really sweet and I enjoyed having her around. I know my friend was happy and relieved when the families got along well . . . it was still a good time.

Heres the cakes and cookies I did, I can't get them to post in the galleries:
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In the case of the comment of ""I guess she's not used to white women holding her" made by the lady...unfortunately I would have loved to have replied "No, she's use to white people holding her, but she doesn't tolerate racist bigots holding her" Then again, I doubt I would have said it...but would have thought it

In regard to the latecomers...I would have been halfway tempted to have said "Oh gee the party is halfway over, thoughtful of you to try making it...well see ya!" Then I would have shut the door and left them standing there speechless

Some people just lack social grace, and likely b/c they were brought up that way.

thecakemaven, Well put! Good behavior does not come naturally nor do they pick it up the first time, but with consistency.

ugh, i think i dislike rude kids more than anything. i hate to go to walmart when i know its going to be busy, just because i know there will be hundreds of kids running around with no parents in sight. when i was growing up i didnt dare to not say yes and no ma'am or sir. (or excuse me and thank you for that matter) even to this day i say it to everyone even if they are younger than me. i make a point of saying it to polite kids too. i remember it always made my day when an adult said yes ma'am to me

KatieTaylor77, I love the cakes. These are too cute. Can I use this idea for a Ladies Tea I am helping host next month? The girls will go crazy for them!

Considering that I got the idea for the cakes from CC in the first place . . thanks for asking and be my guest!

Katie, your experience made me sick. I cannot believe how RUDE people can be. If any of my children acted like that I know they would regret it later. If that would have been me (sorry I know everyone is telling you this), I would have told that woman to please give the baby back and leave. If my daughter went into someone's house and just started eating something she wasn't given, I would have taken her home. I am always told what impeccable manners my 3 kids have, and I'll tell ya, I sure notice it lately when they are around other people's kids or when they come over!!!

I'm so sorry that happened in your house, your cakes are beautiful by the way!

First: Your cakes & cookies look great.
Second: I'm glad to know that there are other moms out there who believe manner are important too. I have three girls(7(almost , 9 14) I am BIG on manners. If I can say ma'am, sir, thank you,etc. So can they. My girls know if they don't... They will get in trouble. <y gor;s always have to say Mr. or Mrs. before someone's name. I really can't stand it when I'm trying to talk to an adult & a kid just jumps in & interupts. I will stop the child point out to them that they were rude & should wait for the adults to finish. My girls Have to come up to whoever they want to talk to & place there hand on the persons elbow to say "I need your attention." If I can't talk to them or whoever can't talk to them right at that moment, I(we) place our hand over theirs to say "I know, just a monent."
This is why I'm called The General @ church. I will discipline kids there, mine or not. Now with mine I will spank them if needed. everyone elses, I put them in the corner or make them do things like Jumping Jacks, push ups.... Burn that energy! Sorry to rant. This is one of my pet peeves.

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience. It's a shame that manners seem to be an endangered species. Unfortunately, it's the parents that are really the ones with no manners, because if manners were important to them, you know that their kids wouldn't be acting the way that they do. When my two boys were each 3 yrs. old we had what I called "Manners Week". The were taught that you are supposed to say things like "please" and "thank you", and are supposed to call people Mr., Miss, or Mrs. until they tell you that it's okay to call them by their first name or some other name. I crammed manners down their throats that week, and over the years I've made sure that they got a refresher course if needed. I guess I am not one of those "politically correct" parents that let the kids run the show. Just be glad that you don't have to live with those kids when they're teenagers and telling their parents what to do.

Even tho' I've encountered situations and parents like these stories, my mouth was still hanging open as I read these. Hubby and I knew a child that when he was 7 years old, we predicted that when he was a teenager, that his mother would claim the cops were "picking" on him because of the kind of car he drove and the crowd he hung with. I'll be darned if 9 years later, when he was driving, that his mother didn't actually repeat those exact words!

(Hubby used to be with the sheriff's dept and he'd seen so many that he got pretty good at predicting!)

Cakemaven, I LUV'd your response!

All of these stories make me so proud of my kids and my granddaughter!

Love the little cakes - Just wonderful & the cookies made the right statement - Good Luck and Best Wishes! Did you make cupcakes to go into the little pots?

God Bless everyone of you who have kids and who have taught them manners.

I wish I had a Mommy Bone in my body to have one, but I don't... So that is why I have a small zoo. 4 dogs, two fish tanks (10 & 30 gallon 17 fish total) & one bird... Just missing a cat - They don't talk back and I don't have to worry about a college fund... but the Vet & feed bills are pretty outrageous sometimes!

Rude, misbehaving, snot nose, back talking, running around like "cavemen" little kids go straight to my nerves...

I do my Walmart-ing or a grocery store shopping at the crack of dawn or in the middle of the night. It is the only time I can go without having to play "hit the kid with my buggy" game because they dart out in front of me and then look at me like I killed their dog. I have a hard enough time pushing the buggy full of my weekly groceries as it is to have to worry if some air headed mom or dad will sue me for hurting their child who was in the wrong to begin with.

Lord knows why that little girl had to taste test three of them before she found the one she liked... and then the mother's comments.... Good Greif Charlie Brown! I would have lost it! You are a better person than me!

Like those who have said it before, sorry for venting, but this is a very sore subject for me. It amazes me that people today cannot even be SHAMED for being rude!

My hat is off to those of you who have children, keep up the good work!

I have to give you a lot of credit. You handled that a lot better that I would have. I think I would have had to ask her to leave. I have no tolerance for people like that. By the way, your cakes are adorable.

Wow. If that had been one of my boys I would have made them apologise(sp?) to you... not make lame excusses to you. People are so permissive to their children today. It's like everyone has forgotten how to say NO!

Maybe you should be greatful she came so late..... imagine what she could have done if she were there the whole time.

We had pups last winter and some relatives were over for Thanksgiving and the child(8yrs) wanted a pup and I told her it was a big responsiblitlity, big dog, needs space and activity, etc etc. Knowing that they would provide none of these things for the pup. Well, the child started throwing a fit because her dad had saind no way on the pup and her mom actually said to her dad "She wouldn't be throwing a fit like this if you would just let her have what she wants". WHAT!!!??? This is how some people think I guess. Better to apease (sp) the child than to teach them boundaries and discipline. (sorry to interject my rant on the subject)

Definitely the problem with kids these days is the parents. Parenting classes won't do any good, becasue these people think they're great parents and they wouldn't take the classes. I run into rude people like this mother and the woman with the comment all the time. "Stupid is as stupid does." Isn't that how the saying goes? People don't RSVP anymore, even when you put a stamp on the reply envelope and address it for them - they won't mail the thing back. They come late, bring extra guests, bring bratty kids, make stupid comments, take home extra plates, and on and on. You're right when you say that people will continue to disappoint you. And for every person out there who does something ignorant there's another person out there cheering him on. Just duck and cover, I always say.

Mickig

I have 4 kinds who are no angels...I have taught them manners, they say thank you and please, call adults by Mr. or Mrs, and yes sir or Maam. Kids will be kids. Sometimes they see something in their pretty little head and just blow all caution to the wind and attack. However, with their choice they are rewarded with something good or bad. The mother should have said something to the child.
The bride to be should have said something to the mother. This was her friend and she invited her to come. She knows how this woman acts. It sounds like this isn't the first time.

That just floors me! I too think that there is a lack of manners these days! The parties I have thrown I always have trouble with the RSVP thing. I tried last year to say regrets only. NEVER again. Even some of my own family didnt care to tell me they werent coming. OR my neighbor who I saw a dozen times before the party couldnt tell me she was going to be out of town! REally is it that hard to send an email. Then recently I had a party for my son and had a RSVP for Monday. The day of the party one father said he didnt notice the RSVP and could his daughter still come. I said sure but I had to scramble around to look for treats to fill another bag, set up another place setting etc. It wasnt the girls fault and I didnt want to punish her. I figured I wouldnt ask them if they were coming because they never responded to the last party I mentioned (and didnt come) I dont feel it is fair to me to have to chase everyone down. And as a mother of 3 young boys, I would NEVER let them just dig into the cake like that! Never! I am glad you said something! I probably wouldnt have had the guts. sorry for my rant! I just know how it feels!