I'm sure this has happened to lots of you, but this is the first time that it has happened to me, so I would like so advice.
One of my neighbors/friends asked me to make a cake for a baby shower, and I agreed. Went out, bought a lot of the supplies, and left several messages to discuss the design. I sent her several photos of designs through email and I told her it would be around $50.
Well, two weeks later of course, there was no response, so I emailed her last night to check in and she said she couldn't afford that much and was going to make a diaper cake! I have already bought the fondant, the most expensive part. And this is a woman who I have bought TONS of stuff from-Pampered Chef things, magazine subscriptions for her daughter's school, way more than $50 worth (more like $200 in total). She is also one of those people that buys anything and everything from door to door salesmen (like $75 for a gallon of cleaning liquid, or $1600 for a vacuum) so I am mad that when it comes to me, she is being cheap.
What should I say to her?

Can the fondant be used for another cake? I would just let it go and not say anything to her, but next time she asks for a cake or her daughter comes knocking trying to sell say " I won't be able to make that cake I am booked" or for the daughter selling "I really would like to buy something, but can't afford it--sorry."

I'm not really sure what you can do in this situation besides what the poster above said about not being able to afford to buy anything from that family from now on. I would just chalk it up to experience - to not start buying supplies until you get a verbal okay about the price. At least in this case, fondant keeps pretty much forever so you can probably use it on another cake. Sorry this happened to you. It just sucks. Some people just don't realize that your cakes can and should be more expensive than Walmart or Sams. I have a friend who doesn't blink twice at going out to eat at the most expensive restaurants (including appetizers and desserts) and yet will figure out a different way to go somewhere so she doesn't have to pay tolls. Just different people have different opinions about what money should be spent on, I guess. Nothing wrong with it - just different - and sometimes amusing.

I know it sucks, but it's probably better for you to just move on....

Christine

Sorry that this happened to you summernoelle. I love the planning and buying supplies for cakes so I know you must be dissappointed to not be able do this one.

I'm sure you will have many more cakes to do soon so your money has not been wasted. And the fondant will keep for a very long time, so don't worry about that. Again, so sorry you were treated so badly.

-Rezzy

What is a diaper cake??!?!??!?

I have made a few diaper cakes and if you do them with all the bells and whistles they cost lots of $$$ at least $50! Sorry this happened to you!

Sue

I just posted this in another forum, but I have totally made the situation worse!!
I meant to forward the message to my DH, but instead of hitting forward, I hit reply, sent it to her, and I had said something a little snarky. Not too bad, but rude enough. I've already apologized, but I feel HORRIBLE.
So now I have to do damage control.
I am SOOOOOOO embarrassed!

Oh nooooo! So sorry! Yeah, tough call on this one, but I suppose she already knows how you feel now! It would have been nice of her to get back with you about the cake so you arent waiting around, spending time researching cakes etc. AND worse ....buying supplies. I have friends like that. Instead of getting back with me, they just ignore the situation instead of just saying no. Irritates me. But lesson learned, dont buy supplies until they have agreed on the cake and price.

Thanks!
Some other people suggested that I just suck it up and make the cake for free, so that is what I am going to offer to do. Hopefully that will help! But it will be interesting to see.

I'm not sure what you said in the e-mail, but if you apologized, that doesn't warrant a free cake. If she already told you she doesn't want a cake because she's making a diaper cake, then that's fine. In my opinion, if you've already made her upset, that doesn't mean that she even wants your cake. She may take it, and not even serve it, so that could be a waste. Apologize again, tell her you were venting, and just move on. It's not your place to make her use your cake.

As a side, just because you buy things from her, that doesn't mean she has to buy from you. You buy things because you know your budget, and what you can afford, and I think you can give her that same credit. If someone tells you they can't afford something, I don't think it's our place to tell them they can. As a rule of thumb, I think it's safe to say that supplies should always be bought with the money you get for the cake, not your own. That way you know what you can afford, and how much they are paying for.

[quote="mendhigurl"]I'm not sure what you said in the e-mail, but if you apologized, that doesn't warrant a free cake. If she already told you she doesn't want a cake because she's making a diaper cake, then that's fine. In my opinion, if you've already made her upset, that doesn't mean that she even wants your cake. She may take it, and not even serve it, so that could be a waste. Apologize again, tell her you were venting, and just move on. It's not your place to make her use your cake.

quote]

Sorry, but I wouldn't be forcing her to take it. I just said that since I already bought the supplies, that I would make it for her for free to make ammends. I think that's a nice way to apologize and then if she doesn't want it, she doesn't have to accept. She can just accept the apology and say no thanks to the cake.

Of course - next time anyone wants a cake which you expect payment for - it's a good idea to sort this out first before rushing out and buying !!

OMG! I can't believe you hit send....I'm sitting here with my eyes wide open and my hand clamped over my mouth

I hope it works out! I wouldn't do the cake, though.

My favorite thing to say when something I *may* have said that *may* not have been, um, complimentary, *may* have been said to the wrong person, is this:

"Yes, I said that. It's not a secret!"

Hey, if she can afford a "diaper cake", she can afford a REAL one..... she will have MORE than 50.00 in the other one....

Why would you make her the cake now? I think that's a bad idea, no matter what you sent in that e-mail. Yeah you have damage control but, now your basically telling her it's okay that she did this to you. NO CAKE for HER!

You guys are funny. Thanks for making me laugh.

It has been one of those days-kids sick, accidentally insulting people, etc. I can't wait until today is over!

I agree with grama_j. I have made a couple diaper cakes for coworkers and they were both over $50.00 and that's getting supplies and goodies from the $ store. The diapers alone are expensive.

good luck with you decide.

Don't you just wait one of those "...she's standing right behind me, isn't she?" type moments. They are so mortifying!
I agree that you should not "punish" her because of this. Some people are just afraid of being up front and think if they ignore it, it will go away. She may think a diaper cake is better use of her money..(you can use diapers for the baby..cake is gone). And knowing that most people don't want to fork over $50 for something thats not going to last.
I make both real and diaper cakes, so I've seen both sides to it. People that tell me they don't understand why the other side...I made both for my best friend when she was pregnant. Whoo...that was some crazy weekend, being that I was planning the party as well! (sorry, I carry on...)

Well, not to be even more of a jerk today, but that is what I mean! Diaper Cakes ARE expensive.
The whole thing I said earlier about buying stuff from her was that I was mad that I would buy something (for like $35) and she would come back with it, and it would suddenly was more, (like $49), because she added "shipping" and tax, but didn't tell me until she was at my door with it, asking for an additional check. So that's why I thought she was a little...hypocritical.
Sorry, that probablly made me sound even meaner.

Well whatever you decide to do, just keep your chin up! I dont think it is necessary to make the entire baby shower cake, but I had suggested (on the other forum) just a small cake as a gesture (not for the shower) of apology. No matter who is a fault, someone needs to be the bigger person. She is your neighbor, and there is nothing worse than being at odds with people you see regularly. If you live in a subdivision like I do, you know how people talk! LOL! Good luck! We all have those days sometimes.

She really may not have been able to afford it at the time. Sometimes just saying "I can not afford it" is difficult enough......and it is nobody's business in the long run.

Oh noooooo I read further.....and you push send........ so painful.....ouch

Well here is a little word of advice for next time.....don't put anything into an email that your grandmother could not read in the local paper.

You poor thing.........

Hitting the wrong button sounds like something I would do. I learned long ago not to put anything in writing that you wouldn't want someone else seeing. I made that mistake one too many times!

Also reminds me of the time my cousin was in the Army and wrote letters to his mom and his girlfriend. He got them mixed up..........it was tooooooo funny. His girlfriend got a nice letter but his mom got a pretty intimate one. My family still laughs about it nearly 50 years later.

Diane

I agree, be the bigger person, I was the one who was wrong.
It's hard to act like a grownup sometimes!

Sorry to hear about all that, especially the hitting the wrong button - that always burns, especially it's someone you see every day.
Sounds like there may be supplies you can keep until next cake you have to do?
I agree with a few people saying that her spending on some things and not on others is her business, but I understand how you must feel burned when you spend so much money on her kids and she wont pay 50 dollars for a beautiful cake.
Ok so the thing is, I think you let the cake thing go-lesson learned as a few said- vis a vis not spending money on supplies until you get money upfront. Also going on the mantra 'burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me' be 'booked' next time she asks for a cake and well the spending money on fundraiser stuff is separate, so I guess you decide if you find the money going to a good cause, or if you feel you're being ripped off or misled there too, then you can choose not to - you ARE allowed to say no lol.
The email mess is a whole separate thing and as some others mentione,d I dont see that baking her a freebie is relevant or appropriate action. Make amends some other way, apologize, and just make the decision that you probably wont be doing any cake business with this lady in the future. Whether your choice or hers. Good luck!

I pretty much think that you will not have to say that you are booked for a cake the next time she asks!!! lol I have a feeling that she won't ask again!!

I agree, no cake. You apologized. Don't rub salt in the wound. Just be done now.

Good luck!!! Big hug for you!!!!

Lu

omg I'm so sorry but I cant help laughing about the email going to her instead of your dh. As for making her a cake for free I think that may be a bit excessive for an apology. Keep your supplies as everyone suggested they will last or if you feel you really want to make a cake then make it for your family or close friends. Someone who will surely appreciate your hard work and talent. As for the diaper cake well I have to agree that as much as I love cake I think personally I would prefer the diaper cake for that amount of money as they are really cute and a lot of people have never seen one or heard of one and they usually contain quite a few usefull items for a new mom.

No way I'd make it for free, especially after all this. She said no, she'd make a diaper cake so that's exactly what I'd let her do/atttempt to do. It's in her court now. She was probably expecting you to come down on your price anyway. Somebody does that to me and they can find another cake. It's no skin off my nose. I'm not playing games anymore.

Sorry if I sound crabby, but I do get tired of even hearing about other people being treated this way.