Ok, While I'm Not Feeling Sorry For Myself, I Am Wondering .

Decorating By nanni Updated 8 May 2005 , 7:44pm by nanni

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nanni Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 1:05pm
post #1 of 13

if anyone else had this little dilemma-again, while not feeling sorry for myself I am a little down about it. I have a DEAR friend-have known her for years-very talented lady is many ways-we went to cake classes and now can add VERY TALENTED in cakes to her list of accomplishments. Anyway, I had been doing several here at work and have a good following outside of work-we work together in different departments. When she makes cakes for someone the takes them all over the company to show people, I on the otherhand do not-just not that way. Of course, she has many, many more orders from work-(there are 4 of us who do cakes)I moved to a different department and a couple of ladies still order from me but others have not started ordering from her-she feels bad because I used to work in that department and now that I am gone..this is to childish to me for me to feel a bit betrayed-everyone is free to order from whomever they want-someone put me in timeout and shake their finger at me-I keep telling myself I have a great following outside of work and she can have them here-no big deal,,,but everyonce in a while...

12 replies
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marknrox Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 1:26pm
post #2 of 13

I can totally understand your feelings. I would feel that way too. You can't help the way you feel about things. Unfortunately, things like that happen to the best of us. Maybe it's just more convenient for them to order from her since you aren't there any more...you known, outta sight, outta mind?

I have had situations like that happen to me before where a good friend was involved. She got a promotion that I was going for. I had been with the company for about 8 years and she only 6 months. According to the company "rules" you had to be there a year before even applying for a job. They held it for her until her year was up. Needless to say, due to that and other (worse) things, we are no longer friends.

So, I can relate to what you are feeling. Just do your best to get over it and move on. (not meant to sound blunt) I know I have talents and am a intelligent person, and I hate it when I'm faced with someone that has more talent and/or brains in the same area as me. I guess I just always strive to be the best and when it someone else is better than me (not saying that is your case) it really irks me. Makes me feel down on myself, like why can't I measure up! I get intimidated by that person. Ok, that was probably more personal than you were looking for, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone!

Give yourself a break!! icon_wink.gif

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nanni Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 1:38pm
post #3 of 13

Thanks, I needed to hear that I guess. Part of what gets to me is that she always comes to me for ideas, to borrow my pans, I got her old books off ebay for her, thngs like that. She is very talented in many ways and does not put me down in any way but she is very much "look what I did"-sometimes I just want to say "I don't want to hear it" but she has such a crappy home life (hubbie is a real jerk) and I know this is her outlet and all-that's what makes me feel rotten for feeling bad sometimes-but I do appreciate your kind words-THE party is over-just a low moment. I do have alot going for me and I would give my right arm to help her and anyone else-for some reason just hit me wrong. Anyway-again, thanks for the kind words of reinforcement-I know I am not the only one to have this happen to in life-it will pass. God Bless. Thanks.

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elin Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 3:21pm
post #4 of 13

Bless you. You are absolutly not alone.
I know just how you feel. And your feeling are not at all wrong. They are real and they cant be controled.
I have a couples of friends like that.
The worst part is one of them takes credit of my works.
She made a homepage, and put some of my pc in it, as if she have done them.
I told her last week she have to move them and give me the credit. She did so, but without any happiness.
I get very crancy when this tings happens.

But the real part I think is when she asks for help and I give her that. She will be like soft butter as long as she needs me. After she will walk like a queen. And later give me advice back, and treat me like a fool. (just how I feel it)
I am never too proud to get advice, but there is a limit.

So you know, our feeling are real, and uncontrolable.
My bad luck this is my sister. And I will allways care for her and help. And maybe go through it again. That is only who I am. Thinking of others before my self. icon_sad.gif

In your case I think it is difficult to not order from her, maybe, when you are not there. Becaurse they feel she will think "why do they not order from me."
Even everybody can order from whom they like, the expectations when she walks around as she do, will make a press on peoples.
Bad habbit that is.
So you see, I feel with you.


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Joshsmom Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 3:48pm
post #5 of 13

Oh nanni, Big hug. I know how you feel.

Try not to let it get you down, you are just as talented. I'm like you in that I'm not the type of person that goes around showing everyone things I've done.

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nanni Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 4:23pm
post #6 of 13

YOU GUYS ARE TRULY WONDERFUL-I don't feel so alone now-at times it feel foolish to feel that way but at others-well, we won't dwell-you guys have really lifted my spirits and ya know-as long as we love ourselves-the heck with everyone else-we are allowed to have a cruddy day once in a while!! We will all hang in there together!!! What a wonderful group of "sisters"!!

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tcturtleshell Posted 30 Apr 2005 , 10:16pm
post #7 of 13

Oh Nanni... BIG HUG FROM ME TOO!!!!!

You are only human & we all feel the same human things! This friend seems to have personal problems & that is probably why she goes around showing off her cakes. People like her need attention. If it were me I would tell her that she is making you feel bad. How can you be a friend with her if she's treating you badly? You can't. Everytime you speak to her you will think of that. I would talk to her. Either the friendship will grow or it will dissolve. Don't let this get you down!! You are a great cake decorator!!! You love what your doing & you make others happy & put smiles on faces when you do a cake!!!! So just do it for the good stuff!!!! Don't worry about orders your's will come!!!! DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!!!! That sounds korney but it's true. Hang in there Nanni!!!!!!! Your special & your CC sisters & brothers love you!!!

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 1 May 2005 , 3:59am
post #8 of 13

Oh dear, just read this and I can feel for you! I think the fact you are humble, means that you are not drawing a lot of attention to your work. It does sound like this is the only thing this lady may get credit and attention for in her life and maybe that too, is a reason folks are ordering from her, to make her feel good about herself. Funny how in life the people that deserve credit and attention are usually the last ones to get it. Sounds like you have a really good handle on the situation and a really good attitude! I completely understand, you just wanted to share how you sometimes feel and you did it in such a kind way! Never mind, you will get credit down the road for your kind ways and humble approach!
Hugs and more hugs to you,
Squirrelly Cakes

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lastingmoments Posted 1 May 2005 , 4:36am
post #9 of 13

you know I know how you feel.....

i have someone that i know like that because ....shes always trying to make me feel like she knows everything.............I like to share my ideas and work for her but she wont in return ....i still havent told her about CC OOOOps icon_evil.gif was that mean........

I mean i got a big job from my MIL and she tried to imply that she would come up with the cake....

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Mchelle Posted 5 May 2005 , 4:46pm
post #10 of 13

Oooh Nanni, don't feel bad. Sometimes it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. I do what you do as well. I don't know of anyone that would parade a cake around showing it to everyone. You did the right thing. I think that it's a tad unprofessional. Don't worry you will have your time to shine. By the way pat yourself on the back, she is getting her ideas from you and executing them. Why don't you bring in something for the holiday for your department and everyone can oooh and ahhh for you.

Also, I love to help people, but there is a limit, maybe she should find another avenue for most of her inspiration (once and a while is okay, but not all the time).

Good luck to you and happy baking.

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nanni Posted 7 May 2005 , 1:02pm
post #11 of 13

Thanks for the kind words-I have just decided to "suck it up-that's her and she is not going to change"-I do take them into work to the dept but don't parade them around-if people want to see them they are more than happy to drop by-I appreciate the comfort from everyone-it was just so frustrating I felt like I was going to scream-actually not even worth the effort-but life goes on! You guys are my outlet(aren' we glad we are here for each other??) and my support(same question!) and I appreciate it- And to everyone-HAVE A VERY BLESSED AND LOVING MOTHERS DAY-YOU ALL DESERVE IT!!!!!

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flayvurdfun Posted 8 May 2005 , 3:38pm
post #12 of 13

Heck with the big hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
big kisses.... I am that way here too. There are two other ladies here that do cakes too, and one I know is alot better then I am..... in fact I did a decorator no no... at a party a friend had ordered a cake from the shoppette... paid 45 dollars for a 9x13, and she was trying to tell me she was sorry she didnt order from me, the other lady that I know who is alot better than I am, came up to us, and made a comment about the price she paid for the cake, that she charged 35 for the cakes she does. Well, my friend had a look of shock, not upset, just shock. I told her yes she does do cakes too, and yes she is alot better then I am, but I wasnt a butthead like she was..... I also told her I would have done it for less or free for her if she wanted, but I totally understood that she had alot on her mind and it doesnt hurt my feelings at all...

so you are not alone, dont feel bad, your cakes are wonderful, and if I were you I would make a few and bring them in as well.....

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nanni Posted 8 May 2005 , 7:44pm
post #13 of 13

You are just too good to me-that made me smile-BIGTIME-I sooo apprecite the support-and I know I'm not the only one that has had to deal with the situation-just sort of hit me wrong that day=I appreciate each and every one of you..and as your signature goes-teamwork-while we are not on the same team-we definately are a team!!!

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