Some of you may remember my little story from a few weeks ago...the Missing Pan/Unpaid Cake Saga...lol... 
Wellll....Time for another installment!!! lol 
But this one put me in tears 
I've seen the girl a few times at school (in passing/from a distance) when picking up our kids...she either gets red in the face or looks really mad...lol. This afternoon I get 3 phone calls from her in about a 30 minute time frame...all while I'm on the phone with a customer placing a cookie order...grrrrr... 
I return the phone call...really unprepared for what she might have to possibly say to me, but hoping on the off-chance it's just her husband looking for mine or something...no such luck...LOL.
She immediately answers...all annoyed...with an "OMG, why are you calling me??" tone to her voice. I let her know it's me and she immediately says...and I AM quoting "OK...I just want to get this over with and say that I'm sorry you got so upset over this and end it!" 
??????? 
(No hello, how are you or anything like that) I asked if she could tell me exactly what she meant. "I'm just tired of having this between me & God, so I need to tell you I'm sorry and we can just forget about it, OK?" Now - her tone was in no way humble, sincere or even calm...it was rushed, annoyed, condescending and completely fake and insincere. I was just taken aback. She went on and on for a minute or two about how "she doesn't want to be reminded about this 'thing' everytime she sees me somewhere", etc. I tried to respond a couple of times but she kept talking over me, saying "And I'm sorry you got so upset"??!!?? She told me she never got a message from me, implying that I lied about calling her-but then told me that their phone has been cut off three times in the past 2 months due to non-payment...well DUH!? Could THAT possibly be the reason you didn't get my messages??? 
Then I tried to respond again and she cut me off and said..."Can we just end it??" I then asked her if she wanted me to respond or not...that I listened to her and maybe we could make things right if she would listen to me. She FINALLY shut up...lol.
I again stated what I'd done for her and that I had been very patient waiting 1 1/2 months for payment/return of pan...that it wasn't a friendly thing to do to ignore me. Said that other than calling twice and nicely reminding her, that it wasn't my place to chase her down. Also said that we really hadn't been true friends for a year or so and that I wasn't fooling myself. I said that I wasn't here for her to call and just say a few words so that she would feel better about herself and could fool herself into thinking she was "OK with God"...that just saying the words, without being humble or truly feeling it in her heart, doesn't cut it. I said that through the whole phone call she had been nothing but condescending...not humble or sincere...and that I didn't really think she wanted to make things right and be friends with me. Get THIS: She ADMITTED, in SUCH a rude, mean manner, that she really didn't want to be my friend and that the only thing she cared about was our husbands still being able to be friends!? Then she started laughing at me...not kidding...from then on out she was laughing at anything I said telling me she didn't care. The only other things I said to her was that I never hinder my husband from being friends with anyone, and that if this kept them from that then the 2 of them should work that out with each other. I told her that this was not how a Godly woman should act and that she wasn't humble in the least which led me to believe that she never intended on paying for the cake, in the first place, or making things right with me. Then I said that I'd spent way too much time on the phone with her if she really wasn't calling to truly apologize and make things right...Goodbye....hung up.
Don't get me wrong...I do not, in any way, want to be friends with this person!!! That was validated today in the phone call. But I felt the right thing to do was at least give her a chance...that's what I would expect of someone else if I were in her shoes...so that's what I tried to do. What brought me to tears was this...after I hung up, I LITERALLY felt like someone had actually kicked me in the stomach! I physically felt it!? It was the strangest thing...I blew it off at first, but it kept getting worse...like your stomach in knots...SORE knots...LOL. (No...it wasn't gas!! LOL The pain was further up...like just under my ribcage) I'm healthy...there's no physical problem with me. I know this must sound really weird...I'm a completely normal person, I swear...LOL...but this undeniably happened. Then I started thinking...Why in the world did she call me??? I can't believe she actually thought she could just say whatever and I would say okey dokey then! I then started crying, wondering why it was ok for her to treat me like that...and the fact that she laughed at me...??? I was hurt, emotionally and even physically felt it, by the whole experience of someone treating me that way. I just don't know what to think...it really shook me. Like maybe I gave off some 'vibe' or something that said to her that it was no big deal to treat me like that. And I have this thought that I should do something, but what? That suggestion from MMDD about taking an ad out in the paper is looking pretty good right about now!! LOL 
Thanks for letting me vent here....don't know what I'd do w/out CC! 
So, did you/or are you getting paid and your pan back?
Barb
What a phone call. It is horrible when people act like that and then make you feel like it is your fault. Too bad she ruined your day! 
It's a good thing I don't know this woman and that I'll never see her walking down the street because honestly I would probably punch her out. What a beast! I hope you are able to find some closure with this whole situation and move on. I unfortunately know some people like this and I hope you don't have to deal with her anymore. I guess I just want to say that I hope you realize you are the bigger person in this situation and that her and her issues can be somebody else's problem now. I really don't think that her treatment of you is a reflection on you, I think it's a reflection on her lack of moral fiber. I am now going to step down from my soap box and offer you a big cyber hug! LOL, I hope your day gets better.
you know I read a statistic that only 1/4 of people who claim to be "christian" are in fact saved!! maybe she just falls into that 3/4??? If that's the case, I would feel bad for her .....I would just forgive her, because you're only causing yourself more pain ...if she ever calls again, I would tell her that you ARE a Godly woman and because of that you've forgiven her and aren't going to let some measily 20 bucks worry you! I would tell her that you're not the type of person to "pretend" and that if she wasn't interested in a friendship with you that's fine.....your husbands can remain friends and you two can be civil when you're around eachother.
I am so sorry she behaved in that manner, my heart goes out to you. I recently had an experience with someone that used to be my friend and she behaved so horribly to me I don't know that I will ever call her again. I understand that feeling in your stomach. Again , I am so sorry. Put her out of your mind, what goes around comes around. Hugs to you! 
If you really want to be over this, let it all go. It is only cake. Think about it this way...If this were the last day you had on earth, would you be glad you spent it being upset about some silly woman and her d***N cake?
Really, let it go. You will never feel the satisfaction you think a tru apology will bring. If she isn't sorry now, she probably will never be.
Keep you life energy for feeling good. Let the universe take care of her.
Go bake something delicious and forget about it. When you see her and you know you will, you can know, in your heart, that you don't hold it against her. It will make it easier. It just isn't worth it. You don't need to be her friend, but you can interact with her in a way that doesn't cause YOU any more pain.
in my experience, I have determined that if people have to tell you they are something (fill in the something with honest, ethical, christian, etc.) odds are they aren't. I believe that you actions definitely speak louder than words and this woman is screaming. Hopefully, you can use this last phone call as closure on a relationship that wasn't doing you any good. - I would say go out and channel any lasting resentment towards her into your best cake ever.
I remember this.... Send her flowers and say "So sorry for your loss ".. I would take her to Small Claims Court. Not only that she is a liar, she also threw an egg on your face then slapped you. Don't be a hero or a saint, not every martyr became a saint . After that long awaited talk with her, she didn't really made any sense, so it's time to be smart about it..and I know you're not a door mat type. Door mats will just take this type of crap.. you need to stand up for yourself and show her that she messed up with the wrong person..she barked at the wrong tree !!! literally. Keep your head up. HUGS to you !! 
I feel bad for you. If she won't pay you give the invoice to her husband.
Business is business. She will get what's coming to her sooner or later. Hopefully it will be a good swift kick in the arse.
I send you a big hug also. I know how it feels when someone treats you badly and then you wonder if it was you. ust give it to God and he'll work it out with her. Keep your chin up and don't let her know that it hurt you. That would probably make her feel better to know that she did. You did the best thing you could for her and God knows it and he made you a better person.
God bless you.
Tabby
O man, jenn I'm so sorry for you. I really wish you the best and hope everything works out for you. I'm sure it will in the end.
Let her rott. Believe it or not she will get what is coming to her even more than the bad luck she claims to have had. SHe is just taking all her stress out on you. No, you don't deserve it but hey maybe this argument is going to have meaning later.
Good for you to sticking up for yourself.
I personally wouldn't be around her because she wouldn't deserve my greatness and seeing her will not resolve anything.
Just smile and nod when questioned about her or the situation. Most people will get the drift.
I think i kind of jumped in on this story i don't know the history but i hope i gave you good advice for the end.
I'm sure your hubby will do what is right in the present situation. You are the wife and that dude is only a friend. Who is worth more.
Have a good day. Tomorrow can only get brighter : )
Easter Sunday was approaching and she needed to feel cleansed-too bad it didn't work-it's amazing what people will do to feel better about themselves-the laughing on her end was probably hysterical nervousness-she got caught up in her lies and didn't know how to respond but to turn it onto you-rise above it (easier said than done that's for sure I know, but try hard-you are a much better person than she is!) I too would give the invoice to her husband and leave it at that. The friendship between your dh and hers is totally a different story but I would at least present him with it. If you don't get anything out of it=leave it be. My only issue with small claims court is that your dh and her dh are friends-it may come to ugliness between then due to her and she has won it all!
Honey get an order of protection against her. She will be served by the police station. She can not get in contact with you nor can she call you. If she does...she will be in violation. She is a nut!
Jenn- forget it and move on with your life. You have wasted so much energy and emotion on this freaky woman! It sounds like she is having major money problems along with emotional ones. She is probably extremely embarrassed. Don't call her, return phone calls, or talk to her unless you have to at school. Your body is telling you something...listen to it! I hope you can get past this soon. I too, let stuff like this tear me up. Focus yourself on positive things and try to forget it.
Honey get an order of protection against her. She will be served by the police station. She can not get in contact with you nor can she call you. If she does...she will be in violation. She is a nut!
Genesiscakes,
I love your idea !!! sounds like you and me are on the same page !
She'll probably do it again, if given the chance.
Okay...here is my two bit sense in all of this great soap opera. I too have been in a situation similiar to you JennT. Too bad mine wasn't about cake, though it does have cake in it. ha ha....Mine is with my mother. Three years ago she kicked me out of the house on Christmas day. I was still in college and literally didn't really have a place to go besides back to my "closed" dorm. She made me surrender my keys and kept all of my belongings and even one of my cars that I paid for. (No I haven't gotten any of the belongings back or the car due to difficulties on my end legally, but I will before the year is up thank goodness). Well, for those of you that are curious why and what could a mother do this for? I wanted and finally did marry somebody that she does not like. She has no reason to not like him. Afterall, she should love him because I am her daughter and he is going to be the father of our children, not to mention that he also works 6 days a week to support us when I have lost my job twice due to funding. Anywho...I have tried for three years to have a relationship with her- every time it ends in a screaming match on her end. She has even pulled a gun on my step-father for supposibly having an affair with me which never happened. You are all probably asking- is she nuts??? I say yes can't drag her to a doc to prove it. We invited her to our wedding Aug. 14th, 2004. It was a hawaiian wedding and all the clothes were shipped in from hawaii. That was the last day I saw my younger brother and sisters. She threw our wedding cake at our guests- mainly his family. She told me while I was getting in my wedding dress that I was marrying a loser and a loser family and that I would regret it for the rest of my life. We even have her flipping off the cameras. After I graduated college, I became a minister. She claims that I am the one who turned her off of God. Because if God would allow me to be on this Earth and be a minister all Christians must be bad. She even said before Thanksgiving of this year on the phone that our not-even-thought-of-yet children would be shame to this world if they were ever born. Where is my point and connection with my soap opera and yours??? I tried with all of my heart and might several times to make things right. JennT- You tried several times to get this matter over with. My mother even called me one night to "apologize" on the phone to only scream at me and say that I am the one who caused all of the problems. This lady calls you up and ends up screaming at you. One thing that I found comforting throughout it all- The Lord says sometimes you must "shake the dust off of your feet and move on". Just like my birthmother, this lady has issues. It was only $20 bucks and a cake pan and she goes psycho on you because you tried to get what you deserved?!?!? I finally recieved closure from my mother three weeks ago and from her words- she doesn't love me. Hopefully, you got enough closure from your phonecall. Small claims court could be a good idea. But it could be a hassle too. You all ready have to deal with this lady because your husbands are friends. Don't deal with her more than you have too. I have had to replace most of my belongings- even clothes. It is only money and as my father-in-law says "they make more of it everyday." Chin up- head held high. You have done nothing wrong. Sometimes the Lord lets evil get into our path to help us define our character while living on Earth before we get to heaven. I think your character is great. Good luck in your endeavors and God Bless. and P.S. stay tuned for another episode of .....just kidding.. I love reading your posts. Hope I helped you a little.
Oh Asupergirl, im so sorry. Sounds like your mother is very jealous of you. She is an unhappy person and cant stand that you have found happiness in your life. Its very sad. I hope you realize this has nothing to do with you. Congratulations on marrying someone special!!
in my experience, I have determined that if people have to tell you they are something (fill in the something with honest, ethical, christian, etc.) odds are they aren't. I believe that you actions definitely speak louder than words and this woman is screaming. Hopefully, you can use this last phone call as closure on a relationship that wasn't doing you any good. - I would say go out and channel any lasting resentment towards her into your best cake ever.
NO matter what people 'say', their lfe always, always speaks volumes over their actual words. Just do your best to take it in stride and let it go!!
We all learn from our experiences- if there was no test, we'd never know how to overcome them.
She is so not worth this! At first, I saw the thing about the phone being turned off because of non-payment and thought she was just embarassed because she couldn't pay you. Not I think it sounds like this is how she treats a lot of people. The only reason she got so upset with you is that you had the "gall" to object. Just drop it. give her the attention she deserves, which is none. If your husbands want to be friends, great. but make it clear to hubby that you want nothing to do with her crazy behind.
This woman is waco. the fact that she laughed through this should tell this can not be rationalized. She may have been drinking, on drugs, or on medication, or mental. These types need to be avoided because they can't be reasoned with. The good is you can learn from this because the same situation will occur again some time later in your life. So to feel in in control now look at this situation and the opportunity it gives you to prepare yourself for the next difficult person or waco you come across. Part of growing up and growing wiser is knowing when you are in a win-win situation or a loose-loose situation. that is powerful. To keep wasting your energy and your time on this isn't.
snicker-don't feel sorry. I have felt sorry for three years thinking that everything was my problem. I am kid number two that this has happened too. I just didn't realize that my brother was stupid and would apologize to her when it was her who started it all. I however, won't apologize- so I guess I won't ever get back on the A-list. JennT- I forgot to tell you...I, too, became emotionally and physically sick all the time. It was due to the high stress levels she kept giving me. For a year, I was semi-okay because we didn't speak after our wedding. It got worse when she kept making accusations at me (the affair with my step-dad!?!) that never happened. For the last three weeks, I have felt super!!! Let go of it all. There are more important things in life to worry yourself about. Hugs!
Jenn, shes doing exactly what shes trying to do. Shes making you doubt yourself. Like everyone else said, she is a WHACKJOB!! I have felt like you felt before. REFUSE to speak to her again. Its hard to let things go when you haven't had your feelings validated but with her its not going to happen. i'm sorry.
I have whack jobs in my family too. Most of us do. I had great parents and a waco brother. Where is it written that you have to love your parents? Half of them, the men, are only sperm banks. The other half, the women, are incubators for eggs. The biggest hurdle in having a succesfull life is realizing we all get rejected. When you start feeling terrible about sit down allow youreself a certain amount of time for those feeling and then get up and decorate a cake.
Well, wow, she sure feels guilty and "knows" that she needs to truly apologize but doesn't want to so this is her way of telling you.
I don't know why is it so hard to just give you your "thing" back.
Geez!
Wow, I feel anxious just reading your story. No wonder you're having pains. The next time you see her, be as cordial as you would to any acquaintence. Don't mention it again but don't invest anything else in the relationship. If she mentions it again, just say you've forgotten all about it. Every time you get upset about it, remember it's hurting you, not her. Don't let her hurt you anymore and just count it as a lesson learned.
The fact that she called you THREE weeks after you let this go the minute you got your pan back indicates that she KNOWS she did wrong, and she is trying to find some way to justify herself. She is embarrassed of her actions, but to pay you now would indicate her wrong doing; so she just wants to erase it "lets just forget about it". She wants to know its gone, because she knows she did wrong. Honey, let it roll off your back. You know you don't want to be around this kind of person; so don't let it bother you anymore. There is nothing she could possibly say at this point to make it any better; don't take her phone calls anymore!! And ESPECIALLY don't do her any more favors, like making a cake. You certainly DON"T OWE HER!
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