Stepping On A Bakers Toes???

Decorating By msmeg Updated 3 Apr 2005 , 8:37pm by mrsfish94

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msmeg Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 3:53pm
post #1 of 23

A brides aunt called and wanted my gumpaste flowers for a cake in Texas I asked how the decorator felt and gave them a quote Bride never got back to me.

Well Auntie called last night and still wants them IN 14 days!!!!!

Baker makes fantastic cakes I guess but does not do flowers I guess and his brides do fresh flowers So am I stepping on his toes????

Flowers have to be cake ready for aunt to place on cake he will not do it.

I feel guilty should I???? As a decorator I would not want someone bringing gumpast flowers to put on my cake. What if they were ugly??? mine are not but he does not know that. I will be doing hydrangas and white roses 2 of my best flowers.

22 replies
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Lisa Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:08pm
post #2 of 23

I don't think you'd be stepping on anyone's toes. Many times the flowers that are to be put on a wedding cake are arranged by someone else. Your flowers are beautiful and would only compliment the cake so I say if you have enough time to do it, go for it thumbs_up.gif !

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Carriemyvoice Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:14pm
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I don't think you are stepping on toes either. Your flowers are very pretty. I did my own flowers for my wedding cake and had someone else make it just because I did not have the time. She was not offended at all. She did put them on there for me too.

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Mchelle Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:17pm
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Sorry, I have no advice, but I love those flowers thumbs_up.gif

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m0use Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:23pm
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If the other baker is willing to put them on as long as they are already made to go on the cake- then I say go for it- but only if you have time.

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flayvurdfun Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:42pm
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at this point and time I think it is up to the family and the bride...if they want your flowers and the baker wont do them by all means do it... obviously the baker would have to take it up with the family if he doesnt like are doing what you are asked! Heck they could just get a blank cake already to go, and put them on themselves...or hire you to do it at the reception hall.....

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m0use Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 4:58pm
post #7 of 23

If you do decide to make the flowers, make sure to tell the family that they should let people know who made the cake and who made the flowers, that way if the cake turns out bad (heaven forbid) but the flowers look great people will know it's not your fault.

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msmeg Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 6:22pm
post #8 of 23

Guess I forgot one little thing Wedding is in Texas... I am in Missouri

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m0use Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 6:54pm
post #9 of 23

Whoa! That's a horse of a different color. I would say, unless your going to be at the wedding or someone is willing to pick them up or meet you halfway and pay for your mileage- I would not do it. You cannot trust the Post Office or any other shipping company to be as careful as you could be when transporting fragile items.

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msmeg Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 7:06pm
post #10 of 23

Aunt is driving I will package well but she knows it is at her risk

tissue and packing peanuts should make it not move on the drive

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tcturtleshell Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 7:59pm
post #11 of 23

So you are not going to the wedding msmeg? And the baker still won't put the flowers on the cake? Wow, he must really not want his cake messed with.

I have a similar story. I finally decided to go ahead & put the extra things the bride wants on the cake. I'm doing the cake. She picked out her own ribbon & it has glitter thumbsdown.gif on it & also is using fresh flowers on the top. I don't feel comfortable using glitter ribbon on a cake. But I didn't want them to mess my cake up. But that's just me. icon_smile.gif They have no experience in decorating a cake. If they mess it up then that would reflect on me. So I decided to put the ribbon on but get them to sign a waiver. thumbs_up.gif That way if anyone gets sick it will not come back on me. I am also going to put the flowers on. I can relate w/ the baker. But I don't think it hurts to add your flowers to the cake if someone knows how to do it. I would show your aunt how to do it & leave it to her.

Everything will turn out fine. Don't worry about putting your roses on the cake. Heck, the baker might change his/her mind & put them on it. YOu never know. icon_smile.gif

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GHOST_USER_NAME Posted 1 Apr 2005 , 11:58pm
post #12 of 23

This is the bride's concern, not yours. Relax, make and ship your flowers... enjoy the cash.

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Godiva Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 2:16am
post #13 of 23 two cents...

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GHOST_USER_NAME Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 1:50pm
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First of all- any time I have ever seen an ugly cake I blame it on the bridal couple- not the baker/decorator (as do most people I know). The decorator does what's ordered... period. The decorator has no control over the customer's personal taste in what's considered "pretty." The guests say, "Why did they pick such an ugly cake?" Never had I heard, "Gee, that decorator was horrible!"

Next, everyone says they would never put anything on a cake that was not theirs. Yes, we do it all the time. They are called cake toppers. We decorators do not pick these out, the bridal couple does (who am I to tell a customer their topper is ugly and not touching my cake- what a cruel thing to do). It may be horrendous, but we still slap it on top of the cake if we are remembering we are serving the customer- not ourselves. Not a single guests ever thinks the decorator picked out the topper. They all know the bridal couple did. This is absolutely no different.

Also, who am I to tell Jane the Bride that those gumpaste flowers Aunt Bertha made are the ugliest things I have ever seen. Believe me, guests KNOW that those are Aunt Bertha's flowers because the bride is proud and telling every one. The people she doesn't tell she's not close to anyway- they also won't know who made that cake and frankly won't care. Believe it or not... I have actually attended many weddings and never asked who made the cake. 99% of guests don't ask this question.

This whole thing is also no different than if the bridal couple wanted fresh flowers. So yes, we do place things on cakes we did not make. To say so is not accurate by any means. And if we don't do it, the customer's do it themselves after we leave (yep, been there!) and it's even worse than if I had done it myself. I'd rather strategically place the horrendous item on the cake myself (or the fresh flowers in appropriate containers) and at least place it on there properly.

If anything is going to be placed on my cake... I'll do the placing, thank you very much.

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m0use Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 1:54pm
post #15 of 23

Hehe-I agree with cali4dawn on this one.

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CarolAnn Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 3:11pm
post #16 of 23

See now this is where I have a problem with wedding cakes. Actually it's more the brides and their mothers I dread dealing with, not to mention the enormous stress involved. I hate doing things I don't like myself. I I wouldn't want some hideous junk on my cakes. I feel the final result is a reflection on me as the creator/decorator, even if the bride doesn't blab my name to all her guests. I wouldn't put ribbon on a cake that has glitter on it that could fall onto the cake. I would suggest she choose a ribbon with sparkles in the fabric to get the affect she wants and let her know I would not put actual glitter on my cake because of the health hazard. Glitter on ribbon will mean glitter ON the cake period. Of course if a bride tells me she just wants a plain cake and later "sneaks" her own stuff on it I can't control that but I wouldn't be happy about it. I have no problem letting a potential customer know how I feel about my work being a reflection on me. If I made a cake and found out it had been altered later I would never do another job for that person.

I try to get a good idea what a bride/customer wants before I even sit down to talk about it with them. In a lot of cases I believe they can be redirected towards something more tasteful and in others they don't know what they want. In my case (and inexperience) I let them know what I have done by showing them my album. If what they want is way beyond my expertice or something I have no desire to learn I let them know it isn't something I do. I'm doing this because I enjoy it and it isn't my livlihood, so I can afford to be very particular. I have a form to use (thanks to someone here) for planning wedding cakes. It covers everything and will be very helpful. I adjusted it a little for my use and will use it next time a wedding cake order comes up.

In this particular case it sounds to me as if maybe this baker isn't happy about someone elses creation going on his/her cake. I can't blame the baker. I'd feel the same. Those hydrangeas are just beauitful! (were they hard to learn?) Why didn't they just ask you to run down there and make the whole cake? Texas isn't THAT far from Missouri. I'm in Kansas.

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flayvurdfun Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 3:20pm
post #17 of 23

Hey m0use dont you mean that is a MOUSE of a different color .....hehehehehehehehe
and I agree with cali but I would find it hard to say no to family, and I would do it, show her your suggestions where to place them... its ashame you're not going..... it would be so much easier then!

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Kiddiekakes Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 4:19pm
post #18 of 23

Well my 3 cents worth...

I would go ahead and do it!!! Calidawn is right.It is now up to the bride to find someone to do it or either put the flowers on herself! I'm sure it will look just fine.I'm sure the bride woudn't go through all the trouble to get you to make special flowers only to entrust someone incapable of putting them on the cake to make it look finished...Relax....send the flowers packed up.our Aunty will ensure they arrive in tact.

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GHOST_USER_NAME Posted 2 Apr 2005 , 4:41pm
post #19 of 23

Refusing to place glitter on a cake due to health issues is much different than refusing to place something on a cake just because you don't personally like it. Very different. Placing an item on a cake has nothing to do with our style of decorating. And it still boils down to who am I to tell them they have bad taste? Obviously, they like it.

I once DJ'd a wedding reception where all the bride wanted was Oakridge Boys and Statler Brothers. I knew this would not go over well with the guests. But that's what the bride wanted. I explained until I was blue in the face (to the bride) people will not remember how beautiful everything was, only that the music was limited. She still insisted. So that's all I played. People were bored... but that's what the bride wanted- Oakridge Boys and Statler Brothers- only! It's her reception, if she enjoyed it, I guess she's OK with the outcome.

If they want an ugly cake (ugly to me may not be ugly to others) it's their choice. Someone has to make it for her. Other DJ's turned her down. I would hope I could find people to help fulfill my odd requests for my special day. I had photographers turn us down simply because we were a same-sex couple. I will never do that to anyone... turn them down because their tastes are different than mine. Pain is pain, hurt is hurt and rejection is rejection.

Honestly, I pride myself that customers can count on me to help make their day special- when others have turned them down... even if it means using someone else's gumpaste on my cake, playing only 2 bands at a reception or playing Paradise by the Dashboard Light as the bridal song (yep! Really happened!). It's not my day, I'm being hired to help them make their day just what they want it to be. My pride must be placed to the side... and it's never kept me from getting further work.

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 3 Apr 2005 , 4:51am
post #20 of 23

Lively discussion, just wanted to say that your flowers are lovely, the bride should get what she wants and since the baker won't accomodate her and you will, well it is a win/win for the bride.
Regarding transporting the flowers, they do really well in the larger bubbled, bubble plastic along witt the styrofoam peanuts and such packing materials, I have never had one break when in that.
Good luck!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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jscakes Posted 3 Apr 2005 , 7:44am
post #21 of 23

I have something similar coming up, but a ways off. I don't mind making the cake, getting it to the reception for them to put their flowers or whatever they want on it. It's their cake, they paid for it, it's what they want. Period. And I agree with cali4dawn, no preferences or prejudices, the health issue is a different matter though.

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 3 Apr 2005 , 7:48pm
post #22 of 23

The only dilemma I have found for me, was doing a cake I wasn't comfortable with, like an "X"-rated type of cake. I am just plain not comfortable doing them, so I don't. I don't mean it as placing a judgement on anyone, I just don't feel comfortable doing those kinds of cakes. And feeling like that, well, I don't think it is such a good idea. Partly because I would likely end up with more orders for this type of cake and end up feeling even more uncomfortable.
As far as who I would make cakes for and for what occasions, well basically I will make a cake for anyone that is nice. Sounds funny I know, but I don't like to place myself in a situation where I can see problems coming up with a certain customer, so I try to avoid these people.
As far as their taste in cakes, well it is their cake and their day, so whatever style or colours or whatever they chose, I try to respect that and make them happy. When I know something is a bad idea, well I will tell them so and be upfront about it.
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

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mrsfish94 Posted 3 Apr 2005 , 8:37pm
post #23 of 23


How much do you charge for your Hydrengas? If you are willing to ship, I am willing to buy. I have no idea how to make them or use gumpaste. So purchasing them from you would be wonderful.

Let me know...

mrsfish thumbs_up.gif

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