I am going to try and make a long story short. I was approached about a wedding cake for the Summer and asked if I could possibly give a discount (I believe the woman was talking about $1 a slice 
) I told her I would have to the BTB and MOB before I decided. She sent the MOB to me and we all got together tonight. OH MY!!! They were talking about fountains, satellite cakes, stairs connecting the cakes, lots of flowers, and 200 people. We worked up a few different cakes and I told them I would get back with some prices but how do you tell someone they are wanting to buy a Porsche on a Pinto budget. And what is worse is I feel bad. This woman is a good woman. Her ex husband won't help, she has children living in her home who don't belong to her because she is afraid of what will happen to them if she doesn't keep them, and she she gets no help there either. She is my daughters Sunday school teacher for goodness sake!!!! I am so torn. What she is asking for, I can't afford 
!!! Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to hurt any ones feelings.
You said it best; I tell the storm how big God is. 
Is it possible for you to go behind the scene so she doesn't know what you are doing and ask the church for some $$ help?
I would not want to be in your shoes right now and have to turn this lady away either! Praying for you and I know you will make the right decision.
I would be honest with her. Maybe do dummy cakes or a smaller version of what she wants with sheet cakes in the kichen?
There's no way you can do a wedding cake for $1 a slice! You will do nothing but regret it if you do it.
Whew...take a deep breath!
Only you know what you can handle and what you feel lead to handle. Can you do it for cost? Would you feel Ok doing that? Or can you possibly suggest something a little less intricate in their price range? Possibly a smaller cake with sheet cakes in the kitchen for the extra needed servings.
Figure out what all your expenses would be, don't leave out a thing. I can see giving her a break, but come on now ( this coming from the biggest pushover)! Explain to her the costs involved with her masterpiece, and go from there. I'm all for good deeds, but they usually come back to bite you. I did a next to nothing cake for a couple I felt sorry for, when I started on the cake, I got a call telling me my mom had died. I got my friend to do the order for me, and I had to end up paying her more than what the couple paid me.
Well, I think she is brainstorming... and, you, as a cake decorator can try to clue her into the cost of all these extras. tell her that to have a fountain or cascading flower and such would mean this $ for rental and this $ just on supplies.
And, I would tell her honestly, that you would love to help her, but that you need to at least have your expenses covered and whatever "fee for services" you feel is adequate... The ONLY time I would do a wedding cake gratis (and I did this once) is for a best friend/sister, etc. adn then I would let them know this is YOUR present to them and not to expect anything else present-wise...
Good luck though! melissa
oh my gosh thats between a rock and a hard place!!!explain to her she doesn't need all those cakes and a handful of people won't eat cake anyhow.tell her nicely your budget doesn't allow for that and she has to omit somethings.wish I had better ideas good luck
maybe you can sit down with them again and explain that for the price they want you can't do exactly what they want but show them some pictures and ideas of what you can/will do for less money. you may be suprised at peoples reactions when you show them ideas, they may find something they really like but didn't realize it.
you said they wanted something for $1 piece and expect 200 people, that's $200 and there's so much that can be done for that price with much less work/stuff that they may like just as well as fountains and stairs etc.
It sounds like you have a really big heart. Just be honest with this lady and explain to her what will work with the budget that they have. You could let her know how much the materials will cost for what she is requesting and come up with some less expensive alternatives. It's always good to have plans b & c ready when you're turning down plan a! You're in my prayers! 
If they are THAT hard up, why do they want all of that fancy stuff? If I were that hard up, I MIGHT ask for help, but I would try to be as accomodating, like "Whatever you can do for this price..."
If they want fountains and stairways, etc, maybe they should rent them themselves.
Asking their church to help is a good idea.
I don't know. I'm a big pushover, too, but I just think it's rude to ask for SO MUCH for so little money. Maybe they don't know that there are less expensive ways to get a wedding cake done. Make sure they know all of the options available.
Well, Melissa, living within our means is something we all have to grapple with nearly every day of our lives--but you put it best when you said that she wants a Porsche on a Pinto budget. In this instance, you may have to be the one to drive the car, though
Smile and tell her exactly that and then tell her what you can do for the money she has to spend. If what she has alotted to spend won't cover all of the guests she's planning, then maybe she needs to cut the guest list. There are tons of options to make it work--but those options are hers, not yours. You are under no obligation to undercut yourself, lose money, set a precident for being the cheapest baker in town, etc.
Ultimately, she may have to look in the mirror and tell herself to get more realistic about what she can afford--it won't kill her and the wedding will be lovely even if she winds up with a 10" cutting cake and 2 sheet cakes in the kitchen.
Just my .02
Rae
Okay I'm tired and have had a long day so my post may come off more cold than I mean it. That said...
1. I have a problem with people that ask for a discount on cakes for weddings when they are having alot of people coming. Actually I dislike people asking for discounts cakes for any reason. If I want to give a discount then I will. It should be because I want to and because I am okay with it, not because I am asked to and I don't want to hurt their feelings by saying no.
2. If they can't afford a big wedding (and to me inviting 200 people is a big wedding) then they should scale things down and make it where they can afford it. No one HAS to have a wedding with 200 people.
3. Why should you give up your time away from your family, and dip into your money to provide a big fancy cake when something simple and more elegant could work as well? Would the $200 actually cover your supplies and leave you with anything?
You really need to be straight forward and honest with her. You said "What she is asking for, I can't afford," Sweetie it isn't about what you can afford. It is what they can afford!! If they only want a $200 cake then give them the prettiest $200 cake you can do. But DO NOT give them a cake worth 3, 4 or 5 times more than that when it takes away from you.
Sit down and do some figuring. If she wants the big todo cake, then you give her the real price on the big todo cake. She will either then decide she wants something smaller more affordable or she will go somewhere else. And sometimes they going somewhere else isn't a bad thing.
Tell her you can not afford to give her a free cake, that that is not fair to your and your family and by doing a big cake like she wants for the price she wants to pay would be just like you doing a free cake. Then show her what you can do for what she is willing to pay. You could even through in an extra or two, if you wanted to do something a little special because YOU want to. But an extra is not a fountian or satellite cakes or stairs.
Tough situation, but I think if you do this big huge cake you will be taken advantage of. And you may hate/regrete every minute of it. And if you felt 100% okay with the situation you would not be here asking what you should do.
You and your time are worth more than $1 a slice for an wonderfule cake!
i give discounts on wedding cakes sometimes...
but i get to pick the design....there are a few designs i've done so often i can almost do them blindfolded....do you have any like that , that you could offer?
like my mother used to always say....beggars can't be choosers.
if you can whoop it out pretty fast you could still make a profit.
send them to the rental place to get thier own fountain etc.....not your problem with the budget cake.
NO FONDANT!
OMG.....TexasSugar, you literally took the words out of my mouth! I composed two seperate replies to this email and erased them because I thought I sounded like a mean, cold-hearted BIOTCH! You said it much nicer than I could have!
I was approached a couple weeks ago and put in a similar situation, but this couple is having a very small wedding, still don't have any money and they want that to be my problem, I guess. Bottom line is this, if you're on a budge and have little to no money, then your "wants" need to be comparable to your budget! I don't work for free and other people's budget and money concerns really aren't my problem!
So, I thought I was being nice and agreed to give them party-cake pricing ($1.25/slice) and they have the nerve to call back today and request changes in design, etc. Give em' an inch and they take a mile!
The general public has no idea of what making and decorating a wedding cake involves artistically or monetarily. They have to be educated. The Bible says a workman is worth his hire. Which means fair pay for the job. Everybody wants something for nothing or they expect it. I do't mean to sound cruel but I believe that once people understand whats involved they SEE why the price. I've given breaks several times thats a heart issue but please be careful (especially at church) because people will expect you to be cheap or free. I agree with who said she what her exact cake budget is and show her what she can choose from that. Good Luck
First off, tell her that fountains, stairs, etc are out of fashion, and stacked cakes are in. Besides being true, it will save you a heck of a lot of money and time.
Secondly, show her how much cake she needs for 200 people, because it sounds like she is planning for 500.
Thirdly, show her designs which you are able to do for 200 people, which are in style, and cost effective. Remember, God made Noah life on an ark with how many animals, not a yacht for a honeymoon cruise.
an important thing to remember is that we LIVE, BREATH, and SLEEP cake! so we understand what it takes, and what it costs. most people do not. so by her budgeting only 200, we may think its insane, but again, most people have no idea.
if you can be as honest as possible with the expenses, time and options, she may get it, and be more than happy to adjust the cake to fit the budget. now, if they invite 200 ppl and provide dinner, favors, have amazing flowers, a dj blah blah blah,, then a budget cake is out of the question or they SHOULD cut the guest list. however, if they invite 200 ppl to simply be there to be a part of the vows, have cake, punch and visit...fine. i do agree that alot can be done with 200 without driving you insane, but what she has in mind at this point is not one of them. for example, if you have round pans, do a round cake. dont go out and buy an $80 set of square pans because that is what she wants. do a simple stacked cake (one flavor, 6,8,10,12,14") using cardboard and dowels instead of buying separator plates, with a simple icing and decorations. have them provide the flowers, ribbon or topper.
i have a very good friend that i am doing a wedding and grooms cake for next week. AT COST, it will be $350. another friend of ours recently commented to me that her cake was 280- and then went on to say "its not worth it" in other words, thats crazy, cake should not be that expensive. personally i thought it was cheap. today i told her what i will be spending to make our friends cake and she was very wide eyed. she had no idea of the expense, let alone the time! it will take me at least 20 hours (not to mention shopping, practicing, planning, prepping, cutting, serving at the reception etc) to do a 5 tier and a 2 tier cake with fondant, 5 flavors, different fillings, stem illusion construction for 250- amazingly at about 1.35 a serving. under normal circumstances, i would not do a large wedding cake for free in the future. BUT this is a situation where i am pleased to offer my service because i truly love these people.
unless it is your happy choice to donate your time and talent to an amazing mind blowing cake, do not over commit, or you will be resentful. but if it is in your heart to offer your time and talent as a gift, by all means, do it and do it well, but make sure it is something you desire to do and something within your means.
Don't get stuck with this!! I know we all have caviar wishes and champagne dreams - but unless you're willing to work for it or learn about making your money work for you - then you have to get realistic (now granted, I'm still working on this). You just have to tell her that her ideas are wonderful - but they just aren't affordable for you to do at that price - tell her you'd actually be losing money and you can't afford to do that. Tell her you would love to do the cake for her, but she's going to have to be willing to work with you and you will work with her to create something she will love - but within or closer to her budget.
Good luck! Just don't feel guilty - you didn't put her in whatever financial situation she is in and you can give her a bit of a discount if you're looking for practice and if she's a good friend - but don't be roped in to doing some $1000 cake for $100..... I wish you the best!
I What she is asking for, I can't afford
!!! .
'nuff said..and there ain't no more to be said.
I think is not a bad thing to help someone who help others the way she does with those kids. She is doing something good for someone, she gets you to do something nice for her, and you'll see how this gesture will bring something good for you, for the prosperity of your business, if you believe in good you know this is true. So if you really like this lady, and she needs your help I see is good to charge only for expenses...it's up to you....
So if you really like this lady, and she needs your help I see is good to charge only for expenses...it's up to you....
There are very few people I would do an cake for where only my supplies are covered. Someone that wants everything for nothing is not one of them.
My brother got a wedding cake, and that was a labor of love for sure for just the cost of supplies. I would probably do the same for my best friend of 10 years if she ever got married and for my other brother. That's where my list ends.
I could not do it for everyone that is doing a good deed themselves. Especially when it would take money away from me when I don't have money to give others.
Thank you all so much for your help. I know planning a wedding can be so much fun for a mother and her daughter. Maybe they just got caught up in the moment. I am going to go ahead and price the cakes we discussed, then after they are over the shell shock I am going to have ready some other options that may be more in their price range. The only thing we can do is go from there (and pray) 
. Thanks again!! What an amazing group of wonderful, helpful people we have here!!
I'm with strawberry and Texas, it puts you in an awkward position when they are asking for a discount, rather then saying, "we can only afford this, could you please tell us what we could do for this amount".
It is of course up to you to give someone a break on cost, but there will always be people who are having hard times, and you have to ask yourself what happens when someone in worse straights asks you the same thing, where abouts would you draw the line? I also think there is giving a break, and there is giving it away, because $1 a serving is alarmingly low and I myself could not afford to do a cake for that cheap.
I find coming to someone saying that you are having things hard etc and then asking for an eleborate formal cake for 200 really odd and kind of presumptious(although I guess people don't understand how much a cake for 200 REALLY costs?). There are many beautiful options that do not have to be that frilly (smaller tiered cake and kitchen cakes in the back, real flowers instead of sugar, borrowing or renting the fountain, simple ribbon around the cake tiers). I wonder if they asked the reception site, caterer, florist etc for discounts? Because a cake of that type seems very formal for a low budget wedding 
Well, let me just say as someone who's planning a wedding..
If you *really* want something for your wedding, you make it a priority. Especially as far as the money is concerned. But I don't really buy into the whole, "We don't have enough money" thing, when they're inviting 200 Guests? There are ways to cut costs in some areas to make money in others. It really depends on your priorities. A lot of times, people go Bridezilla and Weddingzilla without even realizing it. They don't want to cut costs when it comes to fresh flowers, a photographer to be there all 12 hours, a stretch limo and a 2000 dollar dress. Instead they're going to try and finagle a cheap price out of their vendors when it affects the GUESTS and not just the Bride and Groom and wedding party. It's selfish to me, but seems to be how it works.
I know it sounds harsh and cold, but I've been to enough bridal fairs and talked to enough other brides to know that I am in a small minority that, the way I see it, my wedding is for my Guests. It's for THEM to be able to SHARE my special day. If I just wanted me and my Fiance and that's all that matters, I'd elope. But I want my guests (family and close friends) to know that me and my Fiance are starting a new life and I am grateful for them to be able to share in the starting of it with me.
If this wedding cake truly mattered-- just like the dress and the flowers surely do, they would find a way to cut costs elsewhere or get money to cover it. It may sound cold, but it is the hard truth of the matter. Do what you can, but don't feel bad that you can't give them a Porsche on a Pinto budget.
It sounds like you are really torn about doing this cake.
If you really want to do it, and need to borrow a fountain, let me know. I will send you mine to use. I do not have staircases, but you know how to get them with your coupons. I'll even send 10 lbs of powdered sugar you, if it helps.
I would say give them this woman your heart and your rock bottom price, and do the cake. I know what it is like to have a bastard for an ex-husband who does not want to help out. And for her to be taking in others not related to her, tells me a lot about her character. She deserves a break.
Also, sometimes vendors offer supplies in the form of donations, to causes like this one. If you have any independent vendors around, they may be able to kick in something you need, like a fountain rental or the use of staircases or pillars, stuff that is normally rented.
Let's call it Extreme Makeover, Wedding Cake Edition!
Anyone else want to help out?
Theresa
[quote="playingwithsugar"]
I would say give them this woman your heart and your rock bottom price, and do the cake. I know what it is like to have a bastard for an ex-husband who does not want to help out. And for her to be taking in others not related to her, tells me a lot about her character. She deserves a break.
Also, sometimes vendors offer supplies in the form of donations, to causes like this one.
[quote]
The part I don't understand is, what is the "cause"? We did not have even half that amount of people at our wedding (and we could have had 200+ people if we got into extended family that we never see), and we're young and just starting out, and my parents didn't have any money to help out (and we didn't ask/expect it).
Most people deserve a break, its just a fine line between doing something out of the goodness of your heart and being taken advantage of. Everyone at some point will fall on hard times (most likely several times in their life!) My sister is a single mom to two kids under 9, no child support, my parents used to help a lot with watching them and helping out but then my father died suddenly christmas eve, and shortly after my mother decided to move 3 hours away with our brother. If she needed a wedding cake, I would do it in a heartbeat but even then, I would be honest if she came to me with something I could barely afford. I think its the fact that a big formal wedding isn't a neccesity. When I got married there were lots of people who on the wedding forums who wanted the whole big family there so they would throw a casual outdoor wedding with a picnic afterwards in a park (personally I would love to go to a wedding like this, lol).
You need to decide what you are comfortable with, and whatever you decide should be because you genuinely want to, and not because you will feel guilty (I have the real bad habit of this, no matter how reasonable it is for me to say no, but if I gave in everytime I felt guilt I'd be the doormat I used to be).
I would say give them this woman your heart and your rock bottom price, and do the cake. I know what it is like to have a bastard for an ex-husband who does not want to help out.
We know that ccwkg said in her orginal post that she couldn't afford to give this woman the cake she wanted. Why should she take out of her family's money when she can't afford to give to someone else? I just don't understand that. More often than not people have problems in their lives and things they have to deal with.
I totally agree with helping people out. BUT I do sincerly believe that you have to have the means to do it. Many of us don't.
As I said in an above post, I would only do a cake for those I love at cost, no one else. Why because I am poor and I don't have the money to pay for someone else to have a great wedding cake.
I also agree with JamesSweetie and many of the other posters. If money is really an big issue, then the size of the wedding needs to drop, or they need to have a reliastic wish on what they want on the cake.
If I had someone come to me and tell me their story, and they were someone I truely wanted to help, then I might do it. But in the end they would get a nice cake, but not something extravagent.
Why should we, any of us, lose money doing cakes to help others out? If you start doing that for one you fall victum for doing it for everyone. And then you end up resenting and hating to do cakes and quit doing them.
I have not and will not say that she should not do them a wedding cake for them. That is something she has to decide for herself. And she may even want to give them a nice deal. But I don't feel she should be guilted in doing a huge wedding cake for very little, when it can be scaled down and still be as nice.
How many posts have been made on here, how many cake decorators can tell you the stories about meetings with brides that all have a stories to tell and want a reduced price?
You do not walk into a grocery store buy a ton of groceries, get to the check out line, tell them you don't have the money for them and get to walk out with all of them. You don't go out to eat, order your meal then when you get the check only want to pay what the place paid to buy the food you ate. You don't go to the florist and order dozes of roses then ask if you can pay a third of the price. You don't go to Walmart and order a cake for 200 but only pay for the ingerdients. You don't go buy a brand new car and only have to pay a used car price.
I could keep going, but the point is... If you are doing cake as a business, to make money, why should we and why DO WE let people take advantage of us and let them get by with doing just the above? Why let someone get away with ordering something grand and only paying the base cost? How is that a good business practice?
I would feel differently if the lady had approached saying "Hey, times are hard and we only have $200 to get a cake. Can you help make a nice cake for that?"
I really have a hard time with people asking for discounts or freebies. And I have a hard time with people wanting everything for nothing, especially when they can tone down their wants and be more realistic about things and in the end still have something very nice.
do you WANT to bless this person ? do what you are capable of, and do it well, but dont go beyond your means to do it. like i said before, people dont realize how hard and costly it is to do thisand most are willing to downsize when they understand the details like we do when they are given alternatives...i dont think that everyone intentionally is trying to smooze their way into a discount. DO YOU THINK SHE IS? you know her more than any of us and our assumptions.
i couldnt afford to pay a person for our wedding cake so i baked the ugliest thing you could imagine (9 years ago)...we had the ceremony at a friends home, a friend from bible school married us, we had finger foods that yours truly and the maid of honor put together, i arranged my flowers purchased from super walmart, a friend photographed (amatuer) us. we bought our rings on sale, had a seamstress sew up my "cocktail dress" from a mcalls pattern ...we paid her $10 an hour (80$) plus materials and rented my husbands tux. we had 30 ppl there . i worked at hotel so i had our relatives stay there with my employee discount, we drove to our honeymoon, stayed in another of our hotels for my emp. rate....we payed for our entire wedding of $800 dollars all inclusive. it was suuuuuuuuuuch a cheap wedding. we did everything we could ourselves and didnt go bananas with anything. we didnt ask anyone for discounts or favors, we just knew what we had to spend and that was that. (just out of school)...we got married and what was important was our vow.
do i wish we had an extravagant wedding? sometimes. but now that we have money...who knows what our future holds? a ten year re commitment ceremony? sure...a huge fancy cake? why not? (got that taken care of now!!! LOL)
anyway, i forgot what my point was. oh well.
cake is a luxury not a necessity. you dont need one to get married or have a happy marriage.
Come up with an alternative design like you said.
Ive all ready warned my daughters, "If you decide to get married it will be a nice, but modest wedding." You'll get the best cake ever, but can't say you'll get married in a castle!!! hahaahahaha
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%