Oh goodness. Where do I begin?

A couple of months ago my hairdresser (she also goes to my church so no avoiding her) asked if I could make a three tiered baby shower cake for "sometime in August". I know, foolish of me not to get a set date. She calls today, Wed, and wants it for Sunday. She's given me a max of three days notice for the last year I've done her cakes and she always wants elaborate three tiered cakes. I'm already booked this weekend with a wedding, groom's, and specialty cake.

At first I was going to try to do it. I don't need sleep, right? After a nervous breakdown, I called my husband and he helped me decide not to do it after all. So I called and left a message on her voice mail saying I wouldn't be able to make it after all and recommended her to my friend. That's the extent of my bravery.

I just got a message from her (I'm not answering the phone anymore) and she said she's called several bakeries and none of them can do it. Big surprise. Even the big dogs won't do it on such short notice. (This is the cake on the cover of the martha stewart spring magazine)

She then asks if she can borrow my pans, have my recipes, and she and her friend will try to do it herself. She then says "it can't be that hard".

So here's my dilemma. I'm tempted to let her do it herself so she can see why I need more notice. But I know she'll fail and that would be mean of me. Plus I know she'll end up calling me and begging for help while I'm in the middle of my other cakes. But I also don't want to loan her my pans and especially don't want to give her my recipes.

I did just think of an idea. Maybe I'll suggest she make cupcakes and I can make a little 6" cake and she can put it on one of those tiered displays I've seen ya'll make. But she really has expensive, artistic tastes and really wants three tiered cake. Blah. What a nightmare.

she can buy her own pans.

find her own recipes or use box mix

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and you ARE booked -- so no guilt! on your part!

One, I would definitely NOT make the 6" for her. She'll figure okay you can make a 6" why not the rest of the cake... Don't go there.

What I would do is make up a list of things she'll need to get the thing done and have the phone on your hip in case she has any questions. Tell her to use box mixes and canned frosting because the recipes is what makes your cakes your tasteful calling card and you prefer not to give them out.

Don't feel bad for her putting herself in such a bind and good for you for not letting her do it to you too. I've had to do that for some loyal customers before because they called about 3 days before the event too. They were nice about it and totally understood. Just let her know that you are booked to the max as it is and picking up another order at the last minute is something you can't do for the sake of quality.

Totally agree with Doug too.

DO NOT LET HER BORROW YOUR PANS! That is a recipe for disaster as you have already stated. She is just going to have to go to the grocery store and get something already made! Her loss! Tell her to make that cake it would take X amount of hours that's why you can't do it!

[quote]She's given me a max of three days notice for the last year I've done her cakes and she always wants elaborate three tiered cakes. [quote]

Do yourself a favour - do not delay any further and tell her that whilst you have previously managed to produce a cake in 3 days the demand for your cakes means that you now need a minimum of x days /weeks' notice. The trouble is that she has never been made aware that 3 days is not sufficient notice if you have other commitments.

Give her a generic recipe for cake and frosting (not your own) and let her find out for herself. Do not loan out your pans unless you know that she will treat them with absolute respect and not go stamping on them or flinging them out the window when it all goes tits up and and she finds it's not so simple after all!!!!

JMHO

I agree with everyone.. besides how are you gonna let her borrow your pans when you need them to fill your orders...... Right..

OK, you are booked so when exactly does she think you can spare your pans??

Anyway I see your dilemma, she is someone you do regular business with and then see in church too. Someone you are quite friendly with and you like too. You don't want to be mean or appear unaccommodating.

But giving away your recipes and then loaning your pans, that's just crazy. Direct her to a box mix or just point her to the recipe section here at CC, and send her a generic (but acceptable - I don't mean to say a bad one) BC recipe and she can decide box/canned or scratch. Michael's for the pans and a sincere warning from her that you think she may be biting off more than she can chew. Maybe suggest she buy blank cakes from the supermarket or bakeries? Then she can stack and decorate them herself?

Uh, if you're booked that weekend, aren't you going to need your pans?
I agree with everyone else. Recommend that she get her own pans, use box mix and canned frosting.
And don't reward her for inappropriate behavior by making her a 6 inch cake! She needs to learn to treat you like a business.

I am all for helping someone out. What is the big deal if you let her borrow your pans? I am sure she will not ruin them. I agree that you should not give her your recipes though, but I do not see any harm in giving her some pointers and letting her use your pans. After all, she is someone you know personally, and it would be nice to help her a little if you can!! You never know when you just might need your hair done last minute!!!

Thanks everyone. You are definitely right.

So...anyone want to call her for me?

I would tell her you are really sorry but you are needing the pans for the cakes that you are working on! Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

"I'm sorry but I can not lend you my pans, I will be needing them to make the other cakes I have due this weekend. As for my recipes I can not give you my personal private recipes but I can direct you to Google.com where you can research for your own recipes. I'm sorry that I can not help you anymore then I have already, but seeing as I'm already booked and you only gave me 3 days notice, it's impossible for me to fit it into my busy schedule. If you would prefer to change the date of your "party" I'd be happy to make the cake for another date."

That's all ya need to say If she gets bitchy, move on find another hair dresser immediately! Don't wait for her to mess your hair up lmao

LOL that's a funny one OhMyGoodies

"I know in the past 3 days notice was enough time (NOT!!), but now I've gotten busier and need at least 2 weeks notice for future cakes. I'm SO sorry I can't do your cake this time, I hope you can understand."

Do you book your hair appointments 3 days out?....I didn't think so!

By no means should you lend her your stuff or make any part of the cake for her. You don't have to be rude about it--she clearly doesn't understand what kind of time and effort goes into a cake--but be firm. She's being unreasonable.

Good luck! Stand your ground even if she gets upset. Her poor planning is her own fault, not yours.

lol OhMyGoodies, but seriously, she can't expect you to give her your recipes (secrets) or your pans... She has a business too.. although it she isn't a cake artist as you are... she's still an artist and if you approached her like she did you... I don't think she's appreciate it... especially when she said, "can't be that hard"... which was un-called for...

I agree with everybody else, no loaning pans or giving out recipes. Also, if you gave her cc for recipes wouldn't she be able to read all comments as well. I wouldn't direct her here.

I agree. Your pans are being used all weekend. But I would let her know that if she ever wants to order a cake, to make sure she gives you 1-2 weeks notice next time.

Also, if she argues with you about loaning the pans and equipment, ask her if she'd lend a customer her best shears, her coloring equipment and her chair?

That's putting it in terms she can probably understand.

this is a toughie! i want to agree with everyone and so "don't put yourself out on such short notice!" but the part that really stops me is the fact that she goes to your church. you have to ask yourself how big a deal that it and what that means to you. i think i'd have to--very clearly--let her know how much time such a cake would take, how much notice you need, and the fact that you are indeed booked. then i would offer something like the 6" cake and tell her she should do something cute, like cupcakes. be careful burning bridges...they're very hard to repair! i do hope it works out.

Just because you see someone every week at church does not mean you are obligated to take on a project when you are already booked. The client did not order the cake in time .... the baker is booked. End of story. The only person who should feel bad is the client.

Another angle, as a professional courtesy to a friend she would probably fit you in if you needed a last minute haircut/etc. although she knows you would also understand if she just couldn't do it because she was booked solid. But it would be quite odd for you to ask to borrow her professional tools and teach you how to do it yourself, I mean, it's her business!

But OK maybe we are being too harsh (we defend our own ); if you really have SPARE pans you can loan em to her as a goodwill gesture, but I would only offer whatever spares you have, whether or not they fit the design she is looking to duplicate. Esp since as others have pointed out, it seems like you never did let her know that 3 days notice isn't enough, you just kind of quietly accepted the short notice orders. Kind of a happy medium, "just for this one time."

Good luck, I don't envy your position, nobody likes to say no to a friend, even if it's totally appropriate for you to do so. You do want to help her, you just don't want to be taken advantage of.

Ok. I called and left a messege. Geez, I'm such a chicken!

I told her I needed my pans, recommended she use a box mix, and told her I'd give her A buttercream recipe. (not mine) besides, I doubt she has a mixer that could handle it anyway so I'll have to giver her a "soft" recipe. I tried to sound helpful though not mad.

I know I should have nipped her short notice cakes in the bud but she's like my biggest promoter. She makes it sound trendy to get cakes from me, Although I wish she wouldn't. I'm swamped!

She's also pretty pushy. She insists on scheduling an appointment for me every two months. So I pay for haircuts with cake. I used to get my hair done a couple of times a year and it was fun. But now it's like going to the doctor.

you pay for haircuts with cake... your haircuts must be exspensive... Your cakes are beautiful...

"Hey, ol' friend..... I want to try my hand a a hair cut and perm Sunday.... Sally is coming over to help..... it can't be THAT hard.... OH, and can I borrow your shears, perm rods, and one of your shop perms ? I REALLY like that hair spray and conditioner ..... could you throw that in too ? "

Wow, this sounds like a textbook love -hate relationship! I can't believe she would understand if you called her for a haircut and she was booked and you said,
"OK, I'll come by and borrow your scissors, drape, shampoo and that great conditioner, and oh, I need a color touch up too, so I'll need everything to do that. I'll get my husband to do it...how hard can it be? "
There's no way she'd go for that and you'd never get another appointment with her !

Use humor and patience darling , that's all that's going to work with this woman and you do want to retain her as a customer and promoter.

Good luck!

Ok, She called back and didn't sound mad. She's going to try my friend in the next city I recommended. Anyone in south Louisiana want me to recommend you also.

I think you handled it perfectly!!