Thanks for sharing the Paul Bradford link, June!
Jchuck-- I wasn't terribly young-- early twenties! And just had one-- a daughter. How very lucky for your daughter to have had her children so quickly. Hope she is doing good now!
Ahhhhh.... Baker Beach. I had my first when I was 29, second at 33. Which, in my era, was rather late. I was married very young, at 21, and it was an abusive marriage. Fortunately for me, I had good friends who helped me and convinced me to leave the marriage. My ex is deceased now, and I forgave him and held no ill will. My ex was very mentally damaged. We went for months of counselling, which my ex never really tried to participate in. I knew from those sessions there was something wrong, I just didn’t know what. Now I can look back and see just how very damaged my ex was. There wasn’t the understanding of mental illness back then as there is now. And the stigma is still here, but it was totally not spoken about then. Words like whako, nut case, nut job, mental case, weirdo, I could go on and on. So If you were suffering from mental illness, was pretty hard to find allies in family and friends because of the embarrassment associated with it. I actually met my current husband, 43 years this year, when I was on my own and waiting for my divorce to become final. My friends decided I needed to start dating, mingle. They brought my husband literally to my doorstep. Friends just showed up at my apartment one night, brought a guy that was interested in me. This guy brought his friend. And the “friend” was my husband. We hit it off that night, and we’ve been together ever since. ❤️
That is such an inspiring story. And regardless of your ex's mental illness, you are so lucky to have survived and were able to get out. So many people aren't able to make the break. Forgiveness is always the best course-- and it takes so much less energy than holding grudges. And you ended up with a happy 43-year marriage!!! I am very happy for you!
Thanks Sandra and Baker Beach. I really believe that God brought my husband right to my door. I wasn’t interested in doing the bar scene. Going on blind dates. Especially after having men decide since I had already been married, I would “put out” easier. Had a couple of those. So I sat in bed one night and said....Lord if you want me to get married, you’re gonna have to bring a fella right to my front door. I think God heard me!! ❤️
And back in those days, you were actually shunned, like you had divorce cooties. I found out who my true friends were. Some thought my divorce was gonna some how, I don’t know, rub off on them!!!! I was pretty broken for awhile and on mental disability. Do you know when I started looking for a job, I had to lie. In those days a potential employer could ask many personal questions in a interview, which is illegal today. I’m a honest person, so when I was asked, what is your marital status, I said, divorced. Well, I could see the expression change on there face. Even it was ever so slight. After a few rejections, when I was asked, I would answer, single. Because, technically, I was. Now it’s rather ridiculous, because the pendulum has swung the other way. Divorce is rampant, and couples don’t try and stick it out through the hard times in the marriage. And there’s always plenty of those!!! I certainly don’t think divorce is wrong, especially in certain circumstances. Some that cannot be helped. I just wish that it would be the very last resort, and that wanting to keep your marriage would be the utmost priority. I drilled this into my children. That marriage can be wonderful, but it’s also hard work. That difficult times will come, and you have to weather it through. Then you’re relationship becomes stronger. A tight bond.
Mike is sort of my surprise husband. I had been divorced for over 10 years and had absolutely no desire to get married or even date. I never really like men that much.........no, I do no like women, lol.......and was perfectly self-sufficient and content by myself. Mike's dad and step mom moved to Ashland City from California and opened an art gallery. I met them when I went in to gave a picture framed and we quickly became great friends. I met Mike when he came to visit and we just snuck glances at each other and exchanged shy smiles. A couple of years later, he moved to Tennessee and bought a house on the same street as me, unbeknownst to either of us. After flirting around each other, without dating, for six year, we decided to cut to the chase and got married. I thought all of my friends and co-workers were going to have a heart attach. They could not believe I was getting married.
Well, what a sweet story Sandra. So Mike is originally a California boy!!! It’s so hard for older women and men to meet. My lovely neighbour and good friend lost her husband 5 1/2 years ago from cancer. She’s very lonely. She tried to use a dating App. What a disaster. 3 strikes....all looking for money, just grifters.
That is a great story, Sandra! It was meant to be! My story is similar to JChuck's in that I had a very unfortunate first marriage. It was not abusive, but after about 3 wonderful years, he became addicted to drugs, alcohol and other women. It was a horrible roller coaster for the next 4 years and I finally couldn't do it anymore. It was really the best thing I could do for my daughter and I was a single mom for the next 11 years (happily so). Like you, JChuck, I told God that if he wanted me to find someone He would have to literally drop him in front of me, but I was not going to go out and look. Several months after that "conversation", this great, funny, kind man was transferred to my company from Lincoln, Nebraska. He sat about 2 feet from me and we hit it off immediately. We were the only single people in the studio and hung out a lot as friends and then it just changed one day. We'll hit 25 years in September and along with my daughter and grandson, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Story is not over yet!
Yes, June, Mike was from Los Angeles, born in Hollywood. I used to tell people he moved to Tennessee and married Elli May Clampet (spelling ?) It never entered my mind to try and find a husband, yuck! I am still in amazement that we found each other and we've been married 21 years. I was 50 when we married.
Thanks, Baker Beach. I loved your romantic story, too.
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