Cake Tasting For A Cake That Is A Free Gift?
Lounge By Gingerlocks Updated 6 Jul 2018 , 2:25am by TruCake
So I'll start by saying I used to sell cakes..right now I only do cakes for friends, family and my kids. I'm not in business right now because I have small children and am pregnant and basically I don't have the time or energy.
One of my good friends got engaged and asked if I would do her cake; so I said yes I would and that it would be my wedding present to her. Today she messaged me asking about doing a cake tasting with all her bridesmaids. Now when I was in business I only ever sold cake tasting boxes for the couple; we never did portions for the whole wedding party unless they wanted to buy extra boxes. For me to make and put together a cake tasting would be crazy expensive because I'd have to make the whole batch just for her and honestly its my gift to her..I didn't offer to do a tasting and it never occurred to me she'd expect that with it being a gift. I don't really know how to handle this? Should I just do a cake tasting for her (3 cakes, 3 fillings and 3 buttercreams) for her or is it unreasonable of her to ask for this considering its a gift and if so how do I come out and say no?
Help!
First of all, I can see that she would want the whole "bridal experience" and a cake tasting would be a big part of that. However, very few brides have their cake gifted to them. You might point that out to her and just let her know that a tasting would be an extra, unnecessary expense for you as well as a drain on your limited supply of energy. If she simply must have the "tasting experience", she can set one up with a baker who does tastings for whatever reason and charges for them.
This is definitely a case of wanting to have her cake and eat it too, and sounds to me like you might have a bridezilla in the making. Be careful that she doesn't tend to get very specific on how you do the cake. I mean, yes, you want to make one that she will like and that will go with her theme, colors, etc. But you need to draw the line at some point when her wants become demands. It's a gift so she only has so much to say about it.
Quote by @cakefan92 on 3 minutes ago
First of all, I can see that she would want the whole "bridal experience" and a cake tasting would be a big part of that. However, very few brides have their cake gifted to them. You might point that out to her and just let her know that a tasting would be an extra, unnecessary expense for you as well as a drain on your limited supply of energy. If she simply must have the "tasting experience", she can set one up with a baker who does tastings for whatever reason and charges for them.
This is definitely a case of wanting to have her cake and eat it too, and sounds to me like you might have a bridezilla in the making. Be careful that she doesn't tend to get very specific on how you do the cake. I mean, yes, you want to make one that she will like and that will go with her theme, colors, etc. But you need to draw the line at some point when her wants become demands. It's a gift so she only has so much to say about it.
She defiantly is a Bridezilla; she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid but as it was just after my due date I was able to gracefully say no..but honestly, the reason was because of how demanding she is. Her bridesmaids have said a few things to me and lets just say I'm happy to not be apart of it. I get that she wants the whole "experience" I don't have a spare $75 bucks for ingredients and a few hours of free time to do this. I dunno I just feel like I'm backed into a corner.
You're offering her an immense gift. She should get quotes from bakers who are in business and she might realize that. At this point, you need to put yourself and your health first. Let her know exactly how big and grand a cake she can expect - and no tasting - and let her decide if she can limit her "wants" from there. If she wants to demand, then cut her loose. DON'T let her bully or guilt you into doing something you're not physically or financially able or prepared to do. Your priorities are not her and her wedding. Be prepared to tell her to go find another baker and just buy her a shrimp fork or something.
I would reply with (if you are happy to do it) ,
Sure, I am happy to do a cake tasting but I will need to charge for that as I am already outlaying 'insert whatever the cake will cost' to make the wedding cake plus about 'insert approx. expected hours' of my time so I just can't afford to outlay any more expense or time as part of my gift to you.
This makes both the value of your gift and the fact that the tasting is neither included or free very clear. You are already being so generous, don't let her walk all over you :-)
I would politely decline the tasting. You are under no obligation whatsoever to provide a tasting experience with a free cake. The cake is a huge gift as is. You could offer to do a tasting for a fee, but honestly that idea sounds like it would be opening a door you might regret going through. Worst case scenario would be that she might choose to buy a cake elsewhere.
If she is a good friend, she will understand that you don't currently have the funds or the energy to do a tasting for her and her bridesmaids.
Quote by @WYBee on 7 hours ago
If she is a good friend, she will understand that you don't currently have the funds or the energy to do a tasting for her and her bridesmaids.
Eh, if this bride is showing bridezilla tendencies than being a good friend and being understanding generally goes out the window and is replaced with being a demanding bleep!
on 10 hours ago
I would reply with (if you are happy to do it) ,
Sure, I am happy to do a cake tasting but I will need to charge for that as I am already outlaying 'insert whatever the cake will cost' to make the wedding cake plus about 'insert approx. expected hours' of my time so I just can't afford to outlay any more expense or time as part of my gift to you.
This makes both the value of your gift and the fact that the tasting is neither included or free very clear. You are already being so generous, don't let her walk all over you :-)
This. You have every right to charge her for a tasting even though the cake is your gift.
I think many times people do not realize the time and expense that is involved with putting together a tasting. They don't realize that these tasting items don't pop out of thin air but that you actually need to make full portion, multiple items just to give them a small taste and doing so costs you time and money.
First off, as you said, a tasting is for two or three, (at the most) people. She is expecting you to cater a party for her and her bridesmaids, totally ridiculous.
Be sure and express to her that a tasting, even for two people, would require you do do at least a couple of days prep work, standing on your feet, not to mention considerable expense, and you are just not in a position to take on that much more labor. Under the circumstances, I feel you would be better off to decline the tasting, even if she is willing to pay you generously. You do not need the added pressure. If she feels she must have "the whole experience" (please!), you should advice her to engage a baker who is not pregnant to assist her. Honestly, she doesn't sound like much of a friend.
Kate, I can't believe the idiot about which you posted! What a jerk!
I agree that bridezillas do tend to put friendships aside during their wedding planning. It just seems to me that is an even better reason to decline the tasting experience. There are times when it's just best to not cater to their whims. Especially when they are trying to add things to a gift that's already beyond generous.
yes and I mean giving a cake in the first place is Lot of money -- say it's a cake for 50 people and you might charge $4 per serving ordinarily -- I don't have any friends that I would get a $200 gift for -- no way -- nuh ugh --
i'd back out of the whole thing -- I mean I guess it's in at least a month or so if she's still wanting to party with her bridesmaids at your further expense -- so you're gonna be that much more pregnant too -- i'd tell her it's just not a viable idea anymore considering your pregnancy -- and if you back out now it's gonna be a lot easier for her to find someone to do it -- I just really would --
and you're having this new munchkin on top of at least two other munchkins -- you are only sweet lady -- give yourself a big break now while it's easy --
Oh wow - what a nong head, most places will honour an expired voucher but you can't get all cranky if they wont, after all the expiry date is plainly written there for all to see.
seriously -- and then to bad mouth them for not honoring an expired coupon-- sheesh
I've defiantly thought about backing out of the whole thing; my last baby isn't even a year old and I'm pregnant in the summer and hot and tired. It just feels like this gift has snowballed into something I'm no longer comfortable with. I like her as a friend when she's not in wedding mode; but I just don't feel up to this physically or emotionally right now. Thanks for letting me vent my hormonal mind guys!
Quote by @-K8memphis on 5 hours ago
yes and I mean giving a cake in the first place is Lot of money -- say it's a cake for 50 people and you might charge $4 per serving ordinarily -- I don't have any friends that I would get a $200 gift for -- no way -- nuh ugh --
i'd back out of the whole thing -- I mean I guess it's in at least a month or so if she's still wanting to party with her bridesmaids at your further expense -- so you're gonna be that much more pregnant too -- i'd tell her it's just not a viable idea anymore considering your pregnancy -- and if you back out now it's gonna be a lot easier for her to find someone to do it -- I just really would --
and you're having this new munchkin on top of at least two other munchkins -- you are only sweet lady -- give yourself a big break now while it's easy --
My daughters (who are grad students and who decorate with me) offered to provide a friend’s wedding cake in September as our family’s gift. I think some of the cake shows on TV lead brides to believe that wedding cakes must include a tasting, can be ordered on extremely short notice, and must be cheap since no one ever discusses the final price.
So glad Gingerlocks you have decided to decline making the wedding cake. Firstly, ignoring the fact of the tasting, you have a baby and your pregnant. Just way too much pressure physically for you. I would tell your friend, (skipping the tasting baloney) that after much consideration, you have decided that your health just won’t permit you make the cake you know you could. And I should tell you I have made 10 wedding cakes for family and very close friends as wedding gifts. I never, ever had a tasting. Even the close friends never asked. Just trusted what I would make, and thrilled I was gifting. They all actually wanted to be surprised by my cake design and flavours.
I agree with everyone else. Back out now so she can find someone else, then she can do her whole "bride" experience with someone and they can charge her for it. lol. Especially with your due date close to the wedding and this not being your first child...... I'd play it safe just in case you have the baby early anyway. Good luck, and hopefully you can rid yourself of this stressful situation soon!
i'm really glad you are going to decline -- pregnant with one in diapers? oh my -- yes save all that nesting for your crew -- your friend will have plenty of energy to have a lovely wedding without stressing you out anymore --
best to you and all the babies
and i hope your friend has a lovely wedding too --
she's just in bridal lala land and will learn better some day but if she's wired this way there's nothing you can do about it anyway -- just keep you and your babies protected
Dear Bridezilla,
I am so happy for you and the *lucky* groom. As I had said before, I am offering to make your wedding cake as my gift to you. Having been in "the cake business" before, I am willing to make a cake of $XXX retail value. That reflects $xxx in ingredients and XXX labor hours. I will also then add this cake to my portfolio and must have some level of creative license to execute the cake for you.
Since I am now not baking as I await the birth of my second child, I do not have marketing tasting boxes made. I have also never done onsite tasting "parties" as they are not cost effective and very time consuming. Time I just don't have right now. Sorry.
I understand a wedding is a big deal and I am so happy for you. However, my time and energy are limited at this time in my life. My cake offer may not work in your wedding plans----- and I am OK with that. :) It is YOUR wedding and you should be happy with the arrangements you make, including the cake. I know you are registered at _____ and ______, and am happy to honor you with a store bought gift instead, if that is your preference.
I want you to have the perfect wedding. Please let know what you prefer. Really, I am fine with whatever route you go! Such an exciting time for you both!
Congratulations!
Your cake baking friend
johnson6ofus , what a brilliant response! Kind, compassionate and generous, but firm and to the point. Hats off to you, dear lady! Wish I could write that eloquently!
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