[postimage id="3653" thumb="900"] A friend's family member reached out to me wanting me to do their wedding cake 6 weeks away.  I don't do wedding cakes because this is just a hobby and Brides are well...you know....A pain in the........  So I listened thinking it was something reasonable.  The bride tells me she wants a dummy wedding cake and she was going to serve sam's club sheet cake because she is not a cake eater and doesn't care about the taste of the cake.   <insert annoyed face>

So she text me the cake (see attached).  But before I asked for the picture I asked her for her budge which she replies...I don't know.  <sigh>  It's a cake celebrities would have.  So the next day..I again asked..what is your budget to which I get a response of $300 dollars.  She says, she doesn't know how to budget for a fake cake.  (WTH).  Note:  she also wanted a real custom cake for the grooms cake to feed 30.  At this point I'm hold back the disgust and the laughter.

They are going with another option.  (You think!!!) But tell me....what would you charge for this ostentatious fake cake. 

the bling on that alone is more than $300 if those are real hungarian/swarovski crystals

Wow.....perfect example of unrealistic expectations. Whether it's a edible or not makes no difference it's the time and material involved. I'm inclined to believe she knows exactly how to budget for her wedding cake since she is going with sheet cakes for her guests. I won't even begin to put a price on a cake like that bc I'll never do one out of my league and no market for them here  :)

Even minus the bling, it would be four figures, easy.  You would spend almost as much time on a fake cake as a real cake. Not having to carve is the only time saver I see - you can order those shapes.  Everything else will take just as long as if it were real cake.

Even if the crystals cost was not $300, the gp flowers would be!   Of course the total cost would be 4 figures.  Styro isn't cheap, especially those that are carved/shaped.  And I bet this customer would not return them :(

That's not an attractive cake. BUT IT'S BIG AND SHINY so that means that it's Klassy.

 I asked the bride, tell me what exactly you like about the cake and we can give you the look without all the height and the expense of gumpaste flowers.  Because I was not going to sit and make those fake flowers for a fake cake.  She wanted them she would have to buy them already made..plus extra.

 She told me she like the "grandness of the cake, the blink, and the various textures".  But.....it's okay to seem like you have the money, but serve people sam's club cake.  Now..I like sam's cake and Costco.  But I would be upset if I was a guest and see this gorgeous cake and spent all this money on a gift and an outfit, hair then when I get the cake..be like..umm..this cake taste familiar. 

 Exactly.  I was guessing $200 - $300 on flowers.  $200 - 300 in fondant.  Guess she wanted hobby lobby rhinestones.  Because if you are doing this for show..you are not spending Swarovski crystal money. 

Bahahahahahaha!

Do you have to do this?  I'm sorry but this would be a NO for me.

I would of said no from the beginning. :)

If that were all real cake, That's about a $4500 cake for what i would charge.......dummy cake...probably take off a few hundred....just because you dont have to spend money on ingredients doesnt mean you dont spend money on the dummies!......The decor takes just the same amount of time an efforts....

No.  I am not doing this cake.  I thought she would be realistic and downsize which is why I continued communication the next day.  But...nope...it's a wrap.

@costumeczar ‍ you are hilarious!