Decorating By Angelfire3 Updated 19 Mar 2016 , 12:32pm by costumeczar

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Angelfire3 Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 2:24pm
post #1 of 11

Does anyone experience anxiety when they have a cake order? I do. I have no idea what makes me anxious but it's gotten so bad it depresses me. It could be a fear of failure or fear that I may not do a good job. Either way it hinders me and that's why I haven't baked/decorated a cake in years. I almost forgot everything I know. Any advice will be helpful.

10 replies
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TSweetTreats Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 2:29pm
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Hi Angelfire,

I understand what you are going through. I struggle with some anxiety myself. The best advice I can offer you is to talk to someone. I found DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Skills to be very helpful when it comes to anxiety. Try looking for a therapist or someone who teaches these skills. You can also buy Marsha Linehan's  DBT Skills Training Book on Amazon. DBT quite literally saved my life and I sincerely hope it will help you. I wish you the best of luck. I know where you are coming from and how much anxiety can effect your daily life. 

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Jenmarlene Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 2:42pm
post #3 of 11

I'm the same way, my fear is they wont like it or it falls, hate that feeling! i  have a cake for Saturday for 100 ppl and i'm already panicking. 

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Angelfire3 Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 5:50pm
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I've never heard of DBT. I'm already in therapy for a different issue. My therapist suggested that I make an Easter cake just for my family. My kids want my famous carrot cake and I don't want to let them down.  

It's good to know that I'm not the only anxious baker. Who knows I may start baking full time again but only after my back gets better. I had back surgery.

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craftybanana2 Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 6:47pm
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I get anxiety, another good reason for me to not bake for money! Goodness knows I'd probably drop the cake handing it to the customer!

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kakeladi Posted 16 Mar 2016 , 8:23pm
post #6 of 11

It took me some 30+ yrs to realize I suffer from anxiety.  I can trace it back to elementary school.  When I got married I was sick for 3 days - I mean to the point of actually throwing up.  And when I had my 1st bakery when I would have a consultation I'd do the same thing.  It's awful! :(  No you are not alone with this horrible affliction.  I can still (at the age of 75) experience it now and then.  One of the reasons I don't bake anymore :)

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Angelfire3 Posted 17 Mar 2016 , 3:59pm
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Thank you so much for responding.  It helps knowing I'm not alone. I have PTSD & bipolar disorder and I know anxiety come from that as well. Maybe I have an anxiety disorder too. I want my anxiety towards baking under control so I can bake again. I played in my cake stuff yesterday and I felt fine. I'll find out how I get come Easter since I'm making some cupcakes. 

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Smckinney07 Posted 17 Mar 2016 , 6:53pm
post #8 of 11

Many people get nervous, that's a far cry from anxiety (which can be intensified with stress), I think experience helps-the more you do anything the more comfortable you'll be. 

I have struggled with severe anxiety & depression my entire life, it can be debilitating, crippling...I completely understand avoiding something for fear of failure, which may sound strange to some people :)

You should check out The Depressed Cake Shop, many bakers/decorators get involved with/without depression and other mental illness. Basically, they hold popups and try to raise awareness & help with the stigma surrounding these issues by raising awareness-very cool.

I've heard stories from several people who use baking and decorating to help ease stress or depression, myself included. When starting try to have fun with it, I know that statement alone can be insulting because it's never that simple, but you don't have to make cakes for anyone but yourself/family. Don't set deadlines for yourself, and don't commit to bringing things to events (I'm talking family events or whatever) if you end up making something bring it if you can't no worries. You should only do it if it's bringing you joy right, so try to think of it that way. Start with a small batch of cupcakes or something, surprise your family. Most people break steps up, bake one day, make icing and cover another...break it up like that. Enjoy yourself & certainly remember we are our own worst critics, something we see as disastrous others will be amazed by and don't set unrealistic (or any) expectations for yourself-most importantly you are not alone   

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-K8memphis Posted 17 Mar 2016 , 7:12pm
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worlds collide when i bake before i make the icing -- it's like kryptonite -- makes my knees weak cahn't breath cough cough cough gack -- i have to have enough icing for dams and the fillings ready so i can stack my layers and store my just baked cakes in the freezer -- more efficient for me

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Webake2gether Posted 18 Mar 2016 , 10:48pm
post #10 of 11

Baking was a stress reliever for me. I used to totally zone out and focus on decorating cookies it was wonderful bc for me my mind never stops I constantly go all day long so zoning out is rare for me lol. We got better and better at cakes and decided if we were going to sell them we would do it legally. I had no prior cake and order experience prior to opening our business and that's when the anxiety started. I apparently have some insecurities about things not being good enough compound that with the stress of operating a business all while keeping a healthy balance of being a wife and homeschooling mom. I had to implement some boundaries for myself and my customers I had to make a personal commitment to myself that when I feel stressed out and anxiety ridden I have to walk away. I've had to learn that Cake is not a crisis situation so why should I kill myself with anxiety over things that can wait not too mention I was breaking out in hives all over from stressing myself out dealing with people too. As far as our work not being good enough or failing well truth is things won't always be perfect and I'm looking at them with a perfectionists eye not a customers eye. I strive to do my absolute best but I have to reign myself into a realistic expectation. I made several deliveries yesterday and just kept praying and reminding myself they ordered from us bc they liked what they saw and what I'm delivering now is no different and I ended up doing all my deliveries with confidence and no anxiety!!! Anxiety likes to creep in on me when I'm overly tired or already stressed. Planning and organizing are good anxiety/stress busters for me. If I at least have a plan I can focus on that. I type all of this feeling anxious bc I have a bunch of orders due next week and it's like the wait is causing me to overwhelm myself with the details and how things will all work out. But it always works out so why worry? I guess I can't help myself.

You are definitely not alone in this. Try to remember why you liked baking before and focus on that. Don't impose unrealistic expectations on yourself and don't allow others to either. I don't think anxiety is something that ever goes away fully for those of us who struggle with it on a debilitating level but I think there are ways we can manage and work through it. we just have to find what works best for us. For me it's setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them. I never realized just how bad my anxiety was until this last week and my business has been open for 6 months we just got really busy really fast and I think it took its toll on me bc I was not in control of my business and managing my stress levels well at all. I'm sorry to hear the anxiety is so bad for you and I hope you are able to find a way to work through it!!! Keep us posted if you don't mind :)

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costumeczar Posted 19 Mar 2016 , 12:32pm
post #11 of 11

I don't have any kind of anxiety disorder, but I still get antsy and nervous when I'm waiting to deliver. I didn't realize how much it stressed me out until this fall, when I took a break from doing any wedding cakes, and I realized that weekends are a lot nicer without the pressure. So yes, it's a little nervous-making for everyone, but if you have a tendency to be nervous anyway you need to put some systems into place to help. Stick to a schedule that keeps you in line with getting things done bit by bit, don't take on too much work, etc. etc.

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