Anyone have a Buttercream recipe that doesn't make you feel like you just ate a bag of sugar? Family and friends are complaining

I have a recipe that calls for 4 or so cups of powdered sugar for 3.5 cups of icing

Everyone's idea of sweet is different.  The recipe you mention is about right for b'cream.  Have you tried adding some salt to your recipe?   Does your recipe call for liquid?  If so, try using UNflavored yogurt instead.

You may want to try Italian or Swiss  meringues buttercreams,  but to me they just taste like eating a stick of pure,straight butter.

half cup of milk, two tsp vanilla extract

no salt

Use about 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 1/2 cup UNflavored yogurt.  That should make a difference.  If your family still thinks it's too sweet then try either of the others.  Also incrxease that flavoring to one tablespoon.  A nice mixture of flavors is best.  Try  one part vanilla, 1/2 part butter flavoring and 1/4 part of almond OR lemon.   A part is any measure you want - start with teaspoons.  If you like it and bake a lot, then increase it to tablespoons and keep it on hand

Well first off don't use a cupcake icing on a cake that was my mistake

there's a difference in cake and cupcake icing?

mine are all the same

It was my second cake :P

they're interchangeable  -- 

and there's swiss meringue buttercream and what they now call cooked flour icing -- cooked flour is the easier of the two -- but i always called it french buttercream because that's what Wilton called it -- 

http://www.wilton.com/recipe/French-Buttercream-Icing-1

the important thing is to let the cooked mixture cool completely completely before adding the butter -- like i would put mine in the fridge even and let the butter soften a bit at room temp before combining --

best to you!

Thanks for the tip 

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/12/flour-buttercream-fluffy-frosting-recipe.html

Already found something that might work

that's it! little different measurements but it's the same icing -- i think you will love it -- hey you might want to read the reviews on the Wilton recipe --  most everything said will give you a better idea of what your results will be like 

Thanks again

I don't trust companies like wilton who put out products that can't last a long time in a kitchen setting and is mostly plastics based

I don't use buttercream if I can avoid it. I find cream cheese plus some icing sugar can work wonders and everyone loves it. The cost of cream cheese (mascarpone) is about the same as a block of butter gram for gram, so I am not overspending nor saving but I definitely do not use as much icing sugar as I would have done for buttercream! Hope this helps.

Meringue buttercreams have less sugar in them them recipes with confectioner's sugar, so they're not as sweet.

Beyond Buttercream tutorial on Swiss Meringue Buttercream is a good one to try.  After you get the hang of making a meringue buttercream, you can tweek the sugar to your taste.

i use Italian Meringue with a 2:2:1 ratios. Your sugar to egg whites ratio range can be anywhere from 50g to 85g per egg white (based on a 30g egg white) and the buttercream will hold up fine.

In Beyond Buttercream, she insists the butter has to be super, super warm.  Not so. SMBC will come out fine as long as its warm enough to easily stick your finger in it.  And I've been with chefs who take their Home Depot torches to the mixing bowl if the butter is too cold.  

I think the real keys to real buttercream is quality butter and cane sugar