Family Member Complained About Price...

Business By bittersweety Updated 15 Mar 2013 , 7:56pm by JWinslow

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bittersweety Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 12:57pm
post #1 of 15

hey all,

 

so a few weeks ago my aunt in law asked that i make 15 jumbo cupcakes, individually boxed and ribboned for a school event she was going to. she wanted a cupcake for each board member. she also asked for them to be made on my day off. since shes family, i said ok and went in to my bakery to make them. she picked them up and i told her the price and she said the school board would be sending me a check (grrr...pay me at pickup, or at least let me know ahead of time that someone is sending me payment..which btw i'd never allow but since she is family i agreed)  she came in a week later and paid me for the cupcakes.  oh btw they were $60 total. jumbo cupcakes with pretty packaging=$4 each.  anyhoo, my mother in law (a bit of a gossip, but i love her ) tells me that the aunt had gone to another cupcake place a few days ago and took her two kids as well as my 11 year old sister in law along and told my 11 year old sister in law "dang, i paid $60 for cupcakes at Ashley's bakery...never going there again!" 

 

i was so mad when i heard this!  i got on that cupcake bakerys site and they charge the exact same as i do! AND i doubt they would have opened up on their day off to go make her order. 

 

I am so mad i want to call her and say " i don't want to be a gossip, but i was told that you made a comment about my pricing for your order a few weeks back, and that you were never coming to my bakery again?? that decision is your own choice, but i think telling another family member that, let alone an 11 year old, is extremely distasteful and rude behavior. since you told her your feelings, i can only imagine that you also told this to other adults, and potentially hurting my business with your comments is just wrong."

 

granted, i probably won't say anything, but she is that member of our family that is always such a grump and is rude and doesn't think before she speaks...

 

ever had a family member bad mouth you? let alone for no good reason?

14 replies
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Bomatebaker Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 1:34pm
post #2 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by bittersweety 

 

granted, i probably won't say anything, but she is that member of our family that is always such a grump and is rude and doesn't think before she speaks...

 

 

Knowing that, I would have told her either full payment latest 2 weeks before I begin making the Cupcakes, or no order at all. If she didn’t like the price then she could have gone to the other Bakery.

 

I have never been in the same situation before, but like you I would not say anything about it. Not worth it. Just take note to be careful next time. 

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kikiandkyle Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 2:19pm
post #3 of 15

I wouldn't say anything to her, but when she next calls you for a cake, and she will, tell her you're busy. And keep telling her that until she stops calling. No cake for you lady!

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-K8memphis Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 2:36pm
post #4 of 15

sure anyone will back-stab you why not family

 

you know best but i would definitely get my side of the story at least out on the airwaves wafting back to her story

 

if you did decide to speak to her (and i would) this is about what i would say

 

i would check my understanding of the situation

 

  • hello how are you --blabla--oh hey--i'm curious how was it over there at the other so & so bakery? pause for answer

 

  • "did you have have a comment or problem with the cupcake order from me?" pause for answer

 

then pretty much regardless of what she answers i'd stay in control of me and what i planned on nicely saying

 

  • you gave her red carpet treatment opening on a day off
  • the same size cupcakes are the same price as the other bakery ('you heard* that she compared you to)
  • that it hurt your feelings that she said that (*or it would if anyone had said it)--that she and her business are important to you
  • you let her pay late because she was a family member
  • that you appreciate family support very much

 

*whether she owns it or not in her responses to you

 

that's what i'd do--keep it sweet and positive--no words like gossip or rude or anything--focus on the message i want to get across and be done

 

i'd decline to to talk about or mention the 11 year old--but i'd probably tell the 11 yr old this so she can learn how to handle these situations-

 

sure family is as flawed as everybody else

 

just a thought for you--that may or may not be applicable

 

and i can only imagine how gut wreching it is for you to have heard this--so sorry it happened!!!

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j92383 Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 9:04pm
post #5 of 15

I wouldn't say anything either. She didn't make the comment to you personally it's second hand info. She is a paying customer even if she is family. You wouldn't confront your other customers if some one told you they made the same comment so why do it with her. I understand being upset because you went above and beyond because she is family and she didn't appreciate it.  If she orders from you again treat her like everyone else

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cakesbycathy Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 11:20pm
post #6 of 15

I wouldn't say anything.

The next time she asks you for something you can decline the order.

When she asks why you can tell her that you heard thru the grapevine that despite the fact that you went over and above (went in on your day off, got paid late) she wasn't happy and so in order to maintain family harmony you have no hard feelings with her ordering from somewhere else from now on.
 

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vgcea Posted 14 Mar 2013 , 11:44pm
post #7 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakesbycathy 

I wouldn't say anything.

The next time she asks you for something you can decline the order.

When she asks why you can tell her that you heard thru the grapevine that despite the fact that you went over and above (went in on your day off, got paid late) she wasn't happy and so in order to maintain family harmony you have no hard feelings with her ordering from somewhere else from now on.
 

Yep!

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bittersweety Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 1:04pm
post #8 of 15

thanks for the input everyone! I won't say anything... it just really got under my skin... haha, that kind of situation where you lay in bed at night, staring at the wall, trying to come up with the perfect "shame on you" speech i'd love to give her, but then rolling over and accepting that conversation will never happen :(  sigh

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-K8memphis Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 1:24pm
post #9 of 15

what if you wrote her an email or a letter & didn't send it

 

just to give it some oomph out of your system & off your mind?

 

maybe

 

'cause you wouldn't have to mince words either  icon_biggrin.gif

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Paperfishies Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 5:26pm
post #10 of 15

Next time she asks you to make something for her, tell her she can't afford your services and she should go to XYZ cupcake shop lol.

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ellavanilla Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 5:32pm
post #11 of 15

Pssssh. I wouldn't let it pass. For one thing, family loyalty is important. We all need people in our lives we can count on and the ones who know us the best should be the ones who go all the way with us IMO. 

 

Secondly, my sister and I let gossip from our cousin's wife cause a rift in our family which almost destroyed our relationships. It almost ate us alive. So if it were me, I'd contact her and let her know that you heard, such and such and it hurt you and you'd like to give her a chance to explain, because you know she wouldn't intentionally be disloyal.

 

 

jen

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AZCouture Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 5:37pm
post #12 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea 

Yep!

Ditto!

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kimmisue2009 Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 5:42pm
post #13 of 15

I agree with Jen.  Passive-aggressive and anything even slightly related gives me a rash.  Just causes things to bubble and makes room for resentment to grow.  Be open and up front. Contact her and gently but firmly address it.

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-K8memphis Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 5:45pm
post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellavanilla 

Pssssh. I wouldn't let it pass. For one thing, family loyalty is important. We all need people in our lives we can count on and the ones who know us the best should be the ones who go all the way with us IMO. 

 

Secondly, my sister and I let gossip from our cousin's wife cause a rift in our family which almost destroyed our relationships. It almost ate us alive. So if it were me, I'd contact her and let her know that you heard, such and such and it hurt you and you'd like to give her a chance to explain, because you know she wouldn't intentionally be disloyal.

 

 

jen

 

 

this  ^^^  yes!!!

 

if it was a random customer yeah that sucks oh well

 

but for family yes it can get way out of hand if you don't clear the air

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JWinslow Posted 15 Mar 2013 , 7:56pm
post #15 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZCouture 

Ditto!


Double Ditto!

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