i would have burned down the barn i was raised in and challenged the alpha wolf to a head-butting contest. granted, that may be an overreaction, but still....

sounds like it's too late, but i would have opted to do cookies and just steer clear of creating family controversy as there's always that one family member that takes great pleasure in sniping at other family members. in-laws and outlaws... too bad some of these people can't be voted off the island, i say.

anyhoo, i can understand your hurt feelings and think you have some right to feel aggrieved (what an awesome word, i should use it more often), but i agree with others what say to put it into perspective and get the low-down before making yourself feel really in the dumps. i'd wager that it's not a sinister complex conspiracy aunt mabel concocted to make you feel slighted. it's never that much fun, so you'll probably have to settle on some banal, everyday kind of reason. that you're given the option of doing cupcakes really should be an indication that it's not the quality of your cakes, eh?

go and have fun and if anyone says anything, there's always Plan B. and you don't want to know what my Plan B is.... chances are her cake will be some sucky undoctored box cake with decoration that would make a grocery store decorator blush and everyone will wish they'd asked you. that'll learn 'em!

It's good your looking on the brighter side of things... and regardless of if they are wanting to give you a break or to give her a chance, as long as you are having fun thats what matters.

I mean it could always be worse.......

My Fiance and I have the problem that people friends, his family and neighbors invite us to their/their kids parties specifically for a cake- and dont always tell us....they just EXPECT that we'd make them a cake with out them even asking!!! I mean if you showed up with veggies and they ask you where the cake was it would be way worse!!!



Take a break and look at it from a new prospective- you're getting a chance to be a guest but also to see someone elses work.... they may interpret things completely different, and you may notice something to do or not to do in your cakes that you would have never noticed before!

I like to try to make a mental note of 3 things I liked, and 3 i didnt. Share the things you liked if you talk about it, and think of the 3 you didnt so you dont do them in your cakes!

I say count your blessings! When I lived near my family, they constantly asked me to do their cakes - expecting them for free - and got pissed when I said I couldn't. I can send them to you if you want!

You should make cookies NOT cupcakes.

By making cupcakes you are aiming to hurt the other baker's feelings. That's not very sporting of you. Would you like it if she did that to you? Remember, if you end up alternating years making the main birthday cake, then it sounds like instead of concentrating on your nephew's celebration, you 2 may end up using it as a competitive event.

Make awesome cookies, not as one-upmanship, but to show your nephew how dear he is to you.

And be sure to say something nice about the cake to the other aunt.

I agree you should do the cookies too. You can make round sugar cookies and decoarte them just like some of the Thomas cupcake pics that were posted. They will look amazing, taste great, and your family will be floored with your skill! Good Luck!!

i don't feel as if there's a wrong or a right here, but i think cookies are the safer option for sure. far be it from me to tell you what you should and shouldn't do or how you should feel or react as if by deviating from *my* way is just being petty and snippy. like obi wan said, you must do what you feel is right, of course.

curious thing i noticed today on some plaques my wife is working on for a church. now, i'm not a religious guy, but since some of y'all are, i'll toss out what she engraved at the bottom:

Work with enthusiasm, as through you were working for the Lord rather for people.
Ephesians 6:7

I'm not seeing why you would feel upset or slighted. Being that men rarely plan anything, I can see how your SIL and her sister were talking about the party and SIL's sister brought up how she would love to make the cake.

You also said that you rarely get the opportunity to do cakes. There are other options to provide a cake for an event or just because. You can donate them to the local fire station, police station, schools, banks, etc. Some places you may want to ask permission first, but others would gladly accept them.

Given the option, I would make cookies over cupcakes. Everyone may not want cake, but they can at least take a cookie home.

I wish you would let go of the cupcakes. I know your brother said either was fine, but I'm pretty sure the feelings of the person who is making the cake are going to be hurt. Make the best cookies you can and show your talents without hurting someone else. Think of it this way: you said you don't get invited to many of these family events. You don't want to do something that will give them a reason to continue to ignore you.

I say this with concern for you. I'm really afraid you're going to commit a social faux pas and regret it. I want you to have a good relationship with your family. I want you to be asked to make the cakes in the future. Show them your decorating skills using cookies. Show them your class by not bringing cupcakes. Then maybe later you can pop your brother upside his head for saying it was okay for you to bring cupcakes. I think he's not considering the feelings of the person who is making the cake.

*UPDATE*
So my bro messaged me yesterday and told me that the other Aunt is making a pull apart cupcake cake, and he asked me if I would email her and ask if she needed anything or if we could collaborate on something together. I emailed her and asked her about the cake shes making, and she messaged me back and wanted to know If I wanted to make anything. So I asked her if she would be ok with me making cookies after all. Turns out she is totally ok with it and we spent 30 minutes talking about cake decorating. So yay! Everyone wins!

Hooray!

I'm sure that whatever you make your nephew will love it since it came from you. Don't worry about your SIL and her sister. Think about your nephew. After all, it's his day.

I get that and am totally upset when their cutting the ugly supermarket sheet cake! But I suggest you outdo the cake. Grab back your cake ego and take the party by storm. Find out the theme and make cake pops and blow them away. Practice a few times! Then go to party with your pops and say oh cookies are so last year so I made these you'll feel good they'll get the point and it's a slap back in their face.. Lol I need some carbs!

Cayke, this issue has already been resolved so luckily the OP isn't going to take your suggestion. I'm assuming you were just joshing.

Anyway, one last word from me. I've been custom designing my gkids' cakes for a couple of years now. Last year the 8 year old wanted my cake, and also wanted a store bought Reese Piece's ice cream cake. Her dad had a mild heart attack a couple of days before her party and was still hospitalized the day of, so the party went on, but the store cake was saved for my g'daughter to have a special birthday party with her dad when he got home a few days later.

It's not worth it to be all cake judgmental over an event that isn't yours, because you just never know what might happen. (and by yours, I don't mean Cayke or the OP, I mean in general...anyone's) It should be about the event and the person honored, not the cake.

Wow, this is a long post and I'm so glad it has been resolved. I for one am the new cake baker in my family and my hubby's. No one else bakes cakes like I do, but that hasn't stopped some from ordering cakes from Walmart or wherever when they could have had them for FREE from me. I use to get my feelings hurt, but I've learned to not let family or friends get me down when they don't ask me to do the cake or when they don't thank me or comment on cakes I've done for them. Whatever.........I know my cakes turn out good and if they want to pay someone else for a cake, it's their money. I get enough compliments from other nice people and those are the ones I really appreciate.