Help.. My Sister's Best Friend Wants The Same Cake
Decorating By kirasmom Updated 18 Feb 2011 , 12:26pm by kirasmom
It's a nice non-unique design, but the work on it could be improved, so this is where I'm betting sis is getting her panties in a bunch. She'll be thinking that you'll probably do a better job second time around on the friend's cake 
!
I can understand that sister might be feeling a bit 'single white female-d', but have to agree that she doesn't get to 'keep' that design forever. And I hate to break it to her, but if you asked everyone at her wedding what her cake looked like, I suspect that 98% of guests wouldn't be able to tell you what it was like.
I do however agree that it's strange to copy her friends cake! Copying a strangers cake is one thing, but someone who is probably going to be in your bridal party... a bid odd.
This may be where my age makes me different.
"back in my day" ..... brides got their ideas from their friends and families weddings/events. No internet, no cake central, no google search. Just wedding magazines (which, as we've all noticed, rarely have pics of cakes in them!) and whatever you've seen at other weddings.
logically, we attend weddings of our family and friends. logically, we're not attending weddings of strangers. We would have had no way to copy a stranger's cake .... it was considered pretty rude to crash a wedding and tell the folks, "Oh ... just looking!" 
To me its just so logical to "copy" a cake (or any other part of the wedding) from a friend, making it the most normal thing in the world. I attended lots of weddings where a group of friends getting married about the same tiem, are in each other's wedding, and shared similar ideas.
Heck, I built quite a profitable income from selling chocolate fountains because brides had seen them at a friends wedding! Hate to think of the money I would have lost if I told a bride, "Sorry, you can't have a chocolate fountain because I've already done that for a wedding once."
How is this different than having the same buffet menu? Or the same style of music? Or using roses as centerpieces? Or even the same color scheme? Do we really expect a DJ to not play Elton John because someone else played the same song at another wedding? I can't tell you how often I heard "Butterfly Kisses" or "I Loved Her FIrst" as the father-daughter dance song. Should that not be allowed either? Was I really expected not to make my Chardonney Chicken because another bride had ordered it for her wedding? Goodness, look how often those bouquets are used that are just a handful of stocky stems with ribbon around them.
I guess I'm asking, "Where does the line get drawn?"
Or should there be a line at all?
I realize this is my 3rd post on this topic and I dont mean to sound like the OP is getting beat up over her sister's angst about duplicating her cake, but this is one of those things that just gets my goat and the frustration is directed at the issue, not at the OP. Call it selfish, entitlement, spoiled, "world revolves around ME" syndrome, what have you ...... of all the things in the world one can get upset over, this one I put under the column of "you've GOT to be kidding me!" 
Maybe it's my age, I'm old. But, I don't see one thing wrong with this. Your sister's wedding has past, she's had that day. I find it a great compliment that the best friend asked for the same cake.
It tells her friends what wonderful taste she has and she admires your work. Maybe she will go with a different color or twik the design.
When I started out in my marriage my sister-in-laws and friends along with myself always used the same ideas. Walk in my sister-in-laws kitchen and you saw mine. My best friend and I had the same living room. Furniture and wall hangings. I was flattered they wanted to copy me.
I've had a few brides come up to me at a wedding and tell me they want the same cake at their wedding. I never would cross my mind that the current bride would mind. Of coarse I would tell her in advance.
There is nothing sacred about a date or a cake design so stop getting yourself in a tizzy over someone thinking your choices were perfect and deciding to emulate them. (Shakes head in disbelief.) Talk about a tempest in a teapot.
It could be worse. Think of Kate Middleton. Merchants are selling inexpensive knock offs of her blue dress and the white one from the engagement photos and videos. How many young women are going to want knock offs of her wedding dress?
I was holding back not wanting to offend anyone but I say Indy said what I was thinking. I call this generation the "me generation". Not everyone falls in this catagory but it seems that girls now are selfish, spoiled, me, me, me.
When I first read the post my first reaction was, "you've got to be kidding me". Again no offense I just think it's much to do about nothing.
Agree with Indy. Janette et al but I would add that I try to add a different touch if I'm asked to duplicate a design which, as I have not been decorating for very long, isn't difficult to do. I can see problems in the future when I will have run out of ideas for these little touches and do think that over a year has gone by and the majority of people will not remember your sister's cake. I'd be more bothered about her choosing the same date as her best friend - I think that's kinda creepy! LOL
CP xxx
I LOVED the cake that you did for your sisters wedding. However, I think her friend is completely out of line for asking for the same cake. I would explain to her that it was something special that you created for your sister's wedding, for her day and out of respect you can't reproduce that exact cake but would be willing to create another one for her. If she doesn't understand that then forget (kindly said lol) her.... she doesn't sound like she's a true friend of your sister's anyway..
I dunno. It just seems tacky to me. I'd say if she wants you to do it, then do it....but to me it seems immature for her to want a replica of the cake unless they agreed to do it that way for fun!
That's like someone in our small church named her baby the identical name as another baby who was like 3 years older. I mean, there's nothing wrong with doing that...but...its not the BEST decision a person could make.
As nice as it may be, it's not a groundbreaking design that is so unique someone hasn't already done it before or would never come up with on their own. Now if it was a very unique and personalized cake that was meaningful to just your sister and her hubby then I could maybe see her being a bit miffed that her best friend wanted the same exact cake, but this is not the case. It a classic design that many people would gravitate toward so why make it a big deal?
I know- I was SOOO incensed when I found out that my daughter's name is on the top 10 list and other people are actually having the gall to name their daughters the same. I mean, now I'm constantly running into little copycats all over the place. Sheesh!
I agree with Janette and Indydebi 100% (and I'm part of this generation). 
If it was a super specfic, unique cake design, I'd probably have more issue with it. But honestly it isn't. Roses and ribbons and even bling bling have been done, many times. If best friend has the same simple style, then she just may feel the cake is perfect for her too.
You have the choice of doing the cake, as she asks, (isn't it her right to pick the cake she wants?), not doing the cake at all, or starting and sticking to the rule that you never, ever do two cakes that are alike.
As far as the date, as was said above, it's a date, maybe it just works perfectly for her schedule, maybe it is the only date the venue had available, maybe that date has personal signficance to her? Who knows, and really does it matter that much?
I think as was stated above. You need to decide if you are doing this as a personal thing or as a professional thing. If you are taking the professional route you have to take your personal feelings out of it. Leave it between your Sis and her BFF, that's where the issue is, and they need to work it out between them. Don't play the middle man, there is no point, and you are only just inviting negative drama into your life.
If someone wanted the same wedding cake as me I would be flattered. It's also a year after your sister's wedding so it's not that close together. I don't think it's weird to ask for a wedding cake you've seen elsewhere. Isn't that where most of our cakes come from? Other cakes the bride has seen and liked but with our own twist? If it bothers you that much to make the same exact cake maybe you could suggest some subtle changes that would suit this bride's personality and make it more her own.
Ditto. I would be flattered. If I already had it FIRST, it's really the best friend who's not going to have her OWN cake/own idea. Your sister already had her day. Everybody at the best friend's wedding will know that this cake already "happened." Doesn't take anything away from your sister.
there are times when i get "My panties in a bunch" when a friend/acquaintence copies / aquires etc things that are similar or the same as something i've had said done etc.. the last time it happened i made a comment about it- not directly but online and she called me on it. i just didn't have the grace then to admit my own insecurities and acknowledge it- which is very unusual for me.. normally i admit up front and plain clean my mistakes and apologize. and i regret not being honest about it till this day.
as for the marrying date and reading through this thread - thinking on both sides of the fence- hubby and i got married on- christmas eve.. nice eh? it was also his grandmothers birthday - his aunt's bday the day after christmas.. the family- and grandma- instead of being upset- rejoiced. they considered it a compliment- i never once thought of it being a possible faux pas till reading this thread. but knowing my family as i do- i Still look back at it as honoring a very special lady who's touched my life in ways i couldn't even begin to list- and a compliment to Us to be able to share such a special day with her- for the rest of our lives.
there's pros and cons to Everything.. its what you take away from it - is what will stay with you.
i tell my friends and family- there's "silver lining" in everything- you may just have to look,dig search and hell maybe even just make one up. it may not be apparent right away.. you may have to wait years for it- but its there none the less. find that good part about it and keep That with you. focusing on the negative part about it only poisons your own sense of well being
do i sound like i'm rambling - perhaps.. but it Is reflective of the Real point behind things and does have relevance..
ok i'm off my soap box now- lol sorry if i sounded preachative 
You wrote "This is a cake I made for my sister. I got inspiration from another cake on here".
So now your sister's bff is getting inspiration from this one. I don't see the difference or the problem.
My bff of 32 years and I got married to our guys in a double ceremony. She died unexpectedly 8 years ago and I miss her every day. Tell your sister she's lucky to have a bff and to get over it.
2.3 million couples wed every year in the US. That breaks down to nearly 6,200 weddings a day I bet MANY brides have this cake, as IndyDebi said--- and play the same songs, and carry the same bouquet...
A wedding is a celebration of marriage between the bride and groom- an event celebrated for hundreds of years. Unique? Not so much...
I doubt seriously you will be able to duplicate this cake EXACTLY anyway! It may be the same design, but there will always be slight differences because each cake is different. You might find a better technique or use fondant to make the ribbon...I wouldn't worry about it. Surely this girl is going to use different colors! And if not, then that's her choice. You are but the vendor for this.
I doubt seriously you will be able to duplicate this cake EXACTLY anyway! It may be the same design, but there will always be slight differences because each cake is different. You might find a better technique or use fondant to make the ribbon...I wouldn't worry about it. Surely this girl is going to use different colors! And if not, then that's her choice. You are but the vendor for this.
i have several cake (not posted) that people have requested "just like that" and they never ever come out the same.. flavor is different. design varies somewhat, color.. its like an edible painting i tell folks.. unless you have a photo copier your not going to get the same.. even photocopies aren't true duplicates heh..
If the same date is used, does the BFF realize her BFF probably won't be at her wedding? She'll be celebrating her one year anniversary. Another thing to consider is the football schedule. I just saw an ad this week urging people to book a certain date now as it is the only Saturday this fall that OSU doesn't have a game.
If it's really that big of a deal, offer her X number of free servings if she allows you to "improve" on the design.
If the same date is used, does the BFF realize her BFF probably won't be at her wedding? She'll be celebrating her one year anniversary.
I must be a real cheap-o 'coz I'd jump on the chance to celebrate my anniversary at a party paid for by someone else! 
My sister isn't upset about having the same date. I mean her friend probably didn't have a choice when selecting a date. I just thought it was weird.
As far as the cake, I have talked to her about the cake, and she realized that with her venue and decor the cake was "not right." She said she would have loved to have that cake, but her venue is outside, and she is having a picnic theme reception. So after thinking about it, she thinks a cake with sunflowers on it would be a better fit.
This is all with me not saying a thing, and her and my sister talking about it between themselves. My sister is helping her plan her (the bff's) wedding after planning her own (my sister), so the friend (I guess) trust what my sister is saying about the cake.
It's not that my sister was REALLY upset knowing that her friend wanted the same cake, but just didn't like the idea. I think she was upset at first, and then calmed down about it and realized that it's her friends day now. And if that is what would make her happy, then she didn't care much.
My sister isn't upset about having the same date. I mean her friend probably didn't have a choice when selecting a date. I just thought it was weird.
As far as the cake, I have talked to her about the cake, and she realized that with her venue and decor the cake was "not right." She said she would have loved to have that cake, but her venue is outside, and she is having a picnic theme reception. So after thinking about it, she thinks a cake with sunflowers on it would be a better fit.
This is all with me not saying a thing, and her and my sister talking about it between themselves. My sister is helping her plan her (the bff's) wedding after planning her own (my sister), so the friend (I guess) trust what my sister is saying about the cake.
It's not that my sister was REALLY upset knowing that her friend wanted the same cake, but just didn't like the idea. I think she was upset at first, and then calmed down about it and realized that it's her friends day now. And if that is what would make her happy, then she didn't care much.
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%