Would You Take These To The Party???
Decorating By melysa Updated 22 Jan 2007 , 11:07am by carrielynnfields
ugh, got myself all stressed out over this. my friend and babysitter is getting married in 6 more weeks. I was asked at the beginning of the engagement to do the wedding and grooms cake and I of course agreed to do so. Tomorrow is their couples shower, hosted by another friend. I am invited, but was not asked to do a cake or anything, which at first, i was disappointed, but then again, i got over it because free stuff gets expensive! anyway, i wasnt told NOT to bring anything either so i made these cookies last night
http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&pos=-118363
afterwards, i freaked out and started thinking i should not take them afterall, because i dont want to come off as the pushy cake lady who always has to be in the spotlight. i mean, i dont. but...dont want others to think that since i know that the host has a desert planned (tiramisu). (i emailed her during the week and asked if she needed help with food, decorating, cake or cleaning and she left me a message friday saying that the food and desert were taken care of .) i dont want to just leave the cookies at home though, after i worked on them, and thought that my friend would like to see them.
so..should i just swallow it, and let the host enjoy hosting and give myself a break? (i am always the one making a cake for our friends and holidays) or just go ahead and bring them on a tray and let them get eaten? i dont want to intrude.
ok i am blabbering now. give me so opinions please. (i wont be offended at your honesty.) thanks!
Take the cookies along just in case. Just don't take them in. If the host askes "did you make anything to help out?" you are prepared. If she doesn't ask don't take them in but wrap them up neatly and use them to drop of at potential clients. That way if they aren't getting eaten for the bridal shower they could make you some serious customers later.
I can't say whether or not you should bring them in. It depends on the relationship that you have with your friends but you could always leave them in the car and if it seems like a good idea once you get there and see how things are going just say that you forgot to bring in the cookies that you made.
If it were me I wouldn't take anything. Since the hostess said it's taken care of I think it would be in bad taste to take another dessert. Go and be happy for this opportunity to just be a guest. You'll have plenty to do with the wedding later on. Have fun!
I have four parties a year. And I am clear that everything is taken care of and yet people will bring things, especially desserts.
I go to a great deal of planning every last detail. Not to be rude but I would rather they honor my request.
Everyone knows I love to cook/bake but if they request I don't bring anything, I don't.
bring them early and ask tell the hostess you made them for her - that she can serve them at the party if she chooses, or you won't have your feelings hurt if she just keeps them to herself! Say you don't want to step on her toes - but you just wanted to do something small for her and so you brought her these cookeis. That way you totally leave it in her court - and if she doesn't serve them at the party - don't get offended. It could be b/c she wants her dessert eaten too. I know I always get mad when I make a cake for my mom's bible study group and then someone brings a dessert - OR my mom actually puts out another dessert- then the cake doesn't always get eaten! That's frustrating. So just show up early so you can give them to the hostess and let her decide what to do with them.
Mmmm...this is a hard one...pretty as they are, I wouldn't take them..but I definitely would give them to the bride or groom as just a little present in a few days...
The bride is probably really excited about her wedding and she would just love to have some "wedding" cookies in a few days to share with friends..
JMHO
I would go and be a guest, relax and conserve your energy for the cake. BUT, I think that maybe after the party, perhaps the next day or so present the cookies (or a portion of them) to the hostess as a thank you for a great party. That way they won't go to waste and you won't be the pushy cake lady but an appreciative guest. 
I bet she is stressing out about the details like we all do and it would be a nice gesture and appreciated to be appreciated for all of her hard work.
Did I make sense? 
The cookies are great!
one other thing...Melysa, I totally understand where you're coming from. I look for any excuse to make a cake, cake balls, cookies, etc. and I'm always either serving them at home or bringing them to playgroup, school, etc. My thinking is it's a way to use something I've been doing a trial run on or use leftover cake scraps or cookie dough (plus a little free advertising) but I often get self-conscious that people might think I'm being pushy. I don't know the solution, I love to share what I create, just wanted to let you know I feel where you're coming from.
If the host already stated that everything was taken care of I wouldn't bring them. They are very nice and it's such a waste to have put all the time into them. Why not just give them to the bride to be and she can share them with her family?
Maybe you can wrap them up, carry them with you and leave them in the car. After the party you can give them to Bride and Groom to be for them to enjoy later at home.
Or call her up the next day and tell her you have something you wanted to give her.
I have to agree with the people who said to not bring them. The hostess told you everything was taken care of. And it was nice of you to ask!
I'm also agreeing with the people who said to maybe save them for a few days after the party and give them to the bride-to-be!
thanks everyone. i think i felt the same way as most of you suggested to NOT bring them. these are all good friends and in a casual setting so i didnt THINK before i started making them (didnt really take much time actually). it was AFTER they were done that i freaked out and realized what i was doing was probably rude and intruding and had second thoughts. i am glad that you all were honest, it helped me decide and i think you all are right.
Janette (sp?) i am like you with the parties...SO detailed and it bugs me just like you said.
so....with all that said, i think it is best to leave it be and not stress out. i will go as a guest and friend and just have a good time. after all, the wedding cake is a huge honor in itself.
i did think about giving them to the couple as a gift, but the bride is on a diet for the wedding, so that may be a bad idea since she knows that i know that detail.
i'll feed them to my kids. they always feel left out when they dont get to eat my sparkly treats!
thanks again.
I would take them to the shower but give them to the bride as a gift before/after the shower. I would not take them to be put out by the hostess. As much as I know how you feel, as the hostess I would probably be a little upset after I had mentioned that everything was taken care of.
I am sure that your friend (bride) would love to have these all to herself anyways!!
Since the host said all the food was taken care of, I wpuld bite the bullet and leave them at home. Perhaps you could package them up and just give them to the bride later?
HTH
I agree. Wrap them up nicely for a gift and give them to the couple after the shower. They will love them and there won't be any complications at the shower.
I think that if you would take them and tell the hostess that she could use them or not, that would put her on the spot and she'd feel that she had to use them. I wouldn't take them because she specifically said not to. I'd wrap them up and give them to the bride later, after the party.
Maybe you could box them and present them to the hostess as a "hostess gift," and then she could decide whether to put them out.
I would do this. Don't bring them ready to serve at the party. Box them in a pretty box and present them as a gift.
i think there must have been a typo in my original post.... 
...the host did not say "dont" bring anything...she just said casually that food and dessert were taken care of. i really hadnt thought it was a big deal originally because the place where we had the party was a place were we usually have potluck style parties all the time.
ANYWAY...went to the shower this after noon and left the cookies at home for my family instead. glad that i did this because the lunch was very nice and formal, but i must say "ahem" that the dessert was in need of some help 
. not to float my boat LOL, (i am saying this all in good humor, plus these are my friends) but its a good thing i didnt bring anything because it would have looked bad for her. she made tiramisu, but a very poor version. i would have been the bad guy if i brought something that was yummier. instead, we all just hushed and ate it up politely 
i am very glad though that i was presented with this dilema. i saw myself in a new light. (yes i am the freaky women with a cake obsession ha ha). ..which can have its downside. i think for me to have to swallow my pride (i am by no means a professional- but a bit more into details when it comes to desert than all the people i know) and just take a break was a good learning experience. by the way the party was very fun.
oh yeah, i forgot to say that i decided not to talk about cake ath the party UNLESS someone else aproached me and initiated the conversation. well i was delighted that a lady was interested and brought it up after the party, and was so interested in seeing my cake photos (i usually keep a small book in my car). lots of them gathered around to ooh and aah over them all. the bride to be also let me know that see gave my number to someone else who is getting married in september and that her mother will be calling me.
i guess i dont have to prove myself to these people anymore by always bringing free treats whereever i go. ...it seems i am starting to have a rep as one who enjoys my hobby enough that THEY will come to me! another reason i was glad that i left the cookies at home!
Congrats on all the epiphanies and the fantastic feedback from your friends. I am happy for you.
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