I'm a hobbyist, but I've done a few wedding cakes for deserving young couples who would have ended up with something from Costco otherwise...mostly military couples who want to get married before the groom ships out. So after one of these weddings, a friend of a friend calls and says, "I hear you just loooove doing cakes. Can I get one for my parents' 50th anniversary this weekend?"
So...what was your response to the friend of a friend? (I mean, after all,
"you just loooove doing cakes".)
After I got over the shock, I explained that this kind of cake takes me 3 days and is actually quite expensive to make...yada, yada. She acted insulted, like she was trying to do me a favor by "letting" me do her cake. 
... she asked how much she owed me I told her and she tells me she will put my check in the mail...
I'm a little confused. Why didn't she know before this moment how much it would cost? What if you told her $30 and she was shocked and said, "Oh, I thought it would be more like $10. I really can't afford that."
Yes, she is a schmuck for sending you a check, and I'm not defending her, but maybe it was more than she had on hand...or in the bank. Maybe it was more than she expected and so has to wait til payday to send you a check.
How does the cost not come up earlier? This is why you need to be clear about these things from the start.
Friend: Can you make a half sheet cake with buttercream roses for 1/18?
You: Sure. It'll be $xx.00 You can pay me when I drop it off (or whenever you decide it needs to be paid by. With me, that's always before I even start baking.)
Friend: Great! Thanks.
So, in my opinion, while she may be giving you the run around, it's partially your fault that this happened. Since there was no prearranged agreement, you really can't complain too much. If you both had agreed at the beginning that she would pay upon delivery, and the she told you she'd mail it, you'd have more of a right to say, "Oh, I'll save you the stamp" and go have a seat on her couch.
But you can't be too mad at people for not meeting expectations you never communicated to them.
Not trying to be harsh because I do understand how these things happen. But you can make it less likely to happen in future.
How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".
.
Are you serious that someone actually said this? What a loon! I'd have told "daddy" that a friend wouldn't try to take advantage of a real friend, so since they were trying to take advantage they weren't real friends, and their price just went up. Because they were getting the "friend" rate to begin with but they obviously aren't friends and they don't qualify for that rate anymore!
I love it! 
I never have the presence of mind to think of saying something witty like this!
Indydebi...just another prime example of needing that "LIKE" button. But in answer to your question...yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. They most certainly do...all the time. People who are freeloaders or moochers always expect something for nothing, and they are more than willing to give up friendships if you try to make them understand how "they are in the wrong and not you".
What gets me is, do they expect.......
free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?
You bet they do. I had a friend working retail, who was constantly asked by friends to not ring up their groceries, so they could get, say, 10 sodas for the price of 1 or expensive DVD's for free. So they basically asked this guy to steal and jeopardize his job. People are shameless in ways I could never imagine.
omg just when I think I've heard it all!
Ah it happens all the time. I worked retail for 30 yrs. Part department store, the majority grocery. You'd be shocked at how many fellow employees I've seen get fired, and in some cases charged with theft, for not ringing up all their friends groceries.
Ok, I know you are all going to hate me after I tell my story here........
When my husband and I were taking the Wilton classes, neighbors/friends of ours told us they were planning their wedding a few months away. Not expecting them to accept our sincere offer, we asked if we could by any chance "audition" to make their cake for them as a wedding present. They said forget the audition, yes, absolutely, from what they had seen they wanted us to do their "Nightmare Before Christmas" wedding cake for Halloween Day. We had an absolute ball and felt very honored that they entrusted us with this when we were so inexperienced. We couldn't be at the wedding, and the groom even took the cake with him and set it up himself (he's a chef so we trusted him with that). They loved the cake, everyone there loved the cake. Then imagine our shock when some months later we are at their house for dinner and they give us a wrapped package and tell us its their thanks for doing the cake for them. (We reminded them it was our wedding gift to them), but no, they know what it takes to make a cake like this, so we reluctantly open in the box. I thought my husband was going to die when he sees the box. They bought us a KA Artisan mixer as their "small" thank you. Wow, talk about appreciation....... Ok, you can all hate me now. 
That is way cool!
Would you recommend me if they need another cake?
That is way cool!
Would you recommend me if they need another cake?
Sureeeeee. np In fact, they'll be needing one in a few months, their sons first birthday cake. I got to do the babyshower cake, again, my present. Momma's been planning his birthday since before he was even born. lol And yet, still can't zero in on what she wants just yet. I think she's like to have 20 different cakes, just to be sure she has exactly what she wants.
What gets me is, do they expect.......
free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?
You bet they do. I had a friend working retail, who was constantly asked by friends to not ring up their groceries, so they could get, say, 10 sodas for the price of 1 or expensive DVD's for free. So they basically asked this guy to steal and jeopardize his job. People are shameless in ways I could never imagine.
omg just when I think I've heard it all!
Ah it happens all the time. I worked retail for 30 yrs. Part department store, the majority grocery. You'd be shocked at how many fellow employees I've seen get fired, and in some cases charged with theft, for not ringing up all their friends groceries.
I've obviously led a very sheltered life! Can't believe people do this.
Friend: Can you make a half sheet cake with buttercream roses for 1/18?
You: Sure. It'll be $xx.00 You can pay me when I drop it off (or whenever you decide it needs to be paid by. With me, that's always before I even start baking.Friend: Great! Thanks.
I will print this and put it next to my phone and wallet. this is helpful for more than just cakes. This is going to be my life motto. If I could just learn to communicate like this I would save so many misunderstandings and frustrations. simple and straight to the point.
cownsj, it is so nice to hear about someone doing 'the right thing' or at least doing right by someone else. That is a great story, and it will help you get past the people you just want to choke. You did something awesome for them, they returned the favor. Isn't it nice when life is like it should be?
Ah it happens all the time. I worked retail for 30 yrs. Part department store, the majority grocery. You'd be shocked at how many fellow employees I've seen get fired, and in some cases charged with theft, for not ringing up all their friends groceries.
When my brother's wife worked at a grocery store, her family members were not even allowed to go thru her checkout. I guess this is why, huh?
cownsj, it is so nice to hear about someone doing 'the right thing' or at least doing right by someone else. That is a great story, and it will help you get past the people you just want to choke.
You did something awesome for them, they returned the favor. Isn't it nice when life is like it should be?
It really is nice; and sadly, it doesn't happen in life often enough anymore. I was fortunate to grow up in a neighborhood where everyone did everything for each other. When someone needed a new patio, the entire neighborhood got together and built it. Need a new addition on the house? Same thing. Holidays, parties rotated throughout the year from house to house. Kids played together, adults played together, and everyone was there to help with everything. Boy did I grow up in a Norman Rockwell town and neighborhood. I thought all neighborhoods were like this, imagine my shock when I moved out on my own and discovered the real world.
Next time, take the cake, turn and start walking away. Tell her when you get the money she gets the cake.
I'm not one to give into negativity and assume the worst about people, but if she couldn't take a minute to write out the check in her own home, I have a feeling you will have a hard time getting that money.
People will treat you how you let them. Don't let them walk all over you!
That's what I did a long time ago -- a gal I knew ordered cakes from me every year and this year she says she want such and such a cake on such and such a date. Fine. Date comes, I arrive with cake -- nobody home. Fast forward to three days later -- STILL nobody home. 
Phone machine not taking messages either. I finally write nasty note and leave on her door -- I've been trying to deliver this cake since (the date) we agreed on and it's now several days later. Call me. Two days after that she calls "Oh I was out of town and forgot to call you." Ya think??? 
So what does she tell me?? "Deliver the cake next week Thursday." I inform her she would indeed be paying "rent" for the housing of said cake (which I did indeed charge her!) and also reminded her that because of this delivery date faux pas I'm NOT making a fresh cake and she could just deal with it. Which she did. And I've been busy every time she's called since... 
...imagine my shock when I moved out on my own and discovered the real world.
Oh cripes... that had to be an ugly day!
LOL Yes, it sure was. But it makes me appreciate all the more when I encounter people who are truly good and loving and giving of themselves. And I'm very lucky to say I have several of those kind of friends around me in my life.
I don't take any chances with my 'hobby' anymore. If you want a cake you give me 50% deposit and the rest when you pick it up or I deliver it, and if I don't get the money you don't get the cake.
We should ALL harden up and run it like a business (even if it isn't). If we were a shop based business, there is NO WAY anyone would be taking a cake out of the shop without paying; that would be STEALING! I can't see the people at Charm City Cakes (Ace of Cakes) or Carlo's Bakery (Cake Boss) letting a cake walk out their door without payment!
Not all people are mongrels, but there are some out there, and they can make all those good feelings you get from creating a piece of cake art disappear in one fell swoop! Is that fair?
Cake making is beautiful and 99% of our cakes are to celebrate something. You don't need a con artist masquerading under the guise of friendship to take the shine out of it. If that is the case you need new friends!
And what's the go with a cheque!! She knew you were delivering a cake, why didn't she have the cash there for you? WTF???
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