to emails that don't make any kind sense, but are about a wedding, tell me to call with no other info as to "why" or what they need, or asking me how much my facility rental is. (no I don't work for or own a facility, btw).
If you can't compose a simple message about ordering a cake. I can't help you.
That is all.
LOL! They say you can't teach stupid, ya gotta be born with it, and you have met some blessed in abundance! 
Maybe a standard "Sorry I am unable to respond to your request because not enough information was supplied by you / I don't have venue information" kind of reply? You don't want to get a bad rep from someone.
They're all people who have written to me. I write back to them and tell them that you're more suited to help them.
But those are the same ones who write to me, so are you sending some my way, too? I think I know who to refer them to now! 
LOL! They say you can't teach stupid, ya gotta be born with it, and you have met some blessed in abundance!
ROFLOL! 
Dear Sir or Madam:
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, the requested information can not be provided at this time due to one or more of the following reasons:
- Insufficient information was included in the inquiry
- Unintelligible inquiry
- Invalid inquiry
If the first or second reason applies to your situation, please resubmit your inquiry using proper English grammar and spelling, being sure to include all pertinent information, such as, but not limited to, your name, your phone number, your email address, the flavor, size, and style of cake about which your are interested, and the occasion for which the cake is needed.
If the third reason applies to your situation, please contact the appropriate party with your inquiry.
Thank you for taking the time to read this reply. We look forward to receiving any future applicable, correctly communicated correspondence from you.
Sincerely,
[insert your name here]
I delete voicemail messages like that too. "Hi. This is blah blah. Give me a call at blah-blah".
No.
I hear yah....I had a few emails like that also....I need a cake...call me at..Yadda Yadda Yadda...Nope!!! You can email or call me!
They're all people who have written to me. I write back to them and tell them that you're more suited to help them.
this just made my day...
I get stupid requests from brides saying, we love your set-up, beautiful buffet table "decorations", and have heard nothing but rave reviews about your food, but we want to save money so can we just: A) get the food from Sam's or B) have our Aunt Bessie make it, and then you set it up and serve it?
Ummm 
no...
People, I swear.
I like the question "How much is a three-layer wedding cake?" Obviously they mean three tiers, not layers....Hmmmm, would that be 5" 6" 7" tiers, or 8" 14" 20" tiers?
I added JUST a few changes!! (in bold): 
Dear Sir or Madam:
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, the requested information can not be provided at this time due to one or more of the following reasons:
- Insufficient information was included in the inquiry
- Unintelligible inquiry
- Invalid inquiry
- You sound like a dumbass that I dont' want to work with.
If the first or second reason applies to your situation, please resubmit your inquiry using proper English grammar and spelling, being sure to include all pertinent information, such as, but not limited to, your name, your phone number, your email address, the flavor, size, and style of cake about which your are interested, and the occasion for which the cake is needed.
If the third reason applies to your situation, please contact the appropriate party with your inquiry.
If the fourth reason hits the nail on the head, please call (insert name of competitor who has recently p*ssed me off) who will be happy to waste, uh, spend their time with a twit.
Thank you for taking the time to read this reply. We look forward to receiving any future applicable, correctly communicated correspondence from you.
Sincerely,
[insert your name here]
Indydebi! You are hilarious!!!!!!!!!! Gotta love ya! lmbo!
I have a very hard time responding to someone who sends me an e-mail all in lower case. I feel like sending a response telling them when they can figure out where the CAP key is on their computer and write a request in complete sentences, then I can help them.
I know it's not nice, but those e-mails annoy the crap out of me. Are you really too lazy to hold down the cap key at the beginning of a sentence!?
Not as bad as the job applicant who wrote to me like she was writing a text message!
I want to work for u, please call me XXX-XXXX
Um, no?
I know, I hate those that say "i need a cake plz call me".
*delete*
or my favorite "How much are your cakes?" I don't even bother anymore, I just delete them.
I know, I hate those that say "i need a cake plz call me".
*delete*
or my favorite "How much are your cakes?" I don't even bother anymore, I just delete them.
I respond to these. I can't really afford to turn away what might actually be genuine business.
I tell them my cakes start at $3.25/serving, a serving is a standard 1 x 2 x 4 inch size, and that FYI, a round 8" cake serves 24. Then I let them do the math. Sometimes I hear back from them; sometimes I don't.
Wow I didn't know people did that. I'm getting ready to open a shop so I'll be getting my fair share of those. to be honest I too get annoyed with ditzy and selfish people but I need to find a way to deal with. I will probably set up few automated responses like big companies do and tell you not to respond back no one will read it.
i write in lowercase on forums, but not on business communications...at this moment, i'm doing it because i only have two hands, and one is occupied right now w/ a breastpump 
i write in lowercase on forums, but not on business communications...at this moment, i'm doing it because i only have two hands, and one is occupied right now w/ a breastpump
AH,the joys of mommyhood
i write in lowercase on forums, but not on business communications...at this moment, i'm doing it because i only have two hands, and one is occupied right now w/ a breastpump
I've done that too, when my son spilled something sticky over my keyboard, it was hard enough hitting the correct letters six times, I was not going to fight with the shift button, too. But that was just for emails with friends, and here on cc (I hope noone minded too much!)
Let me tell you what ticks me off; people who think I own a MAGIC SPATULA and can whip out a cake in a matter of minutes. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I work a full time job @ the office and @ home. It's only me baking and decorating. They think just because they have asked me about my cakes that I automatically hold dates for them. They've been told the policies. They don't listen. Back to the magic SPATULA again. They think you can whip out a cake to feed 200 people with, no deposit, no details and no freaking clue as to what actually goes into cake decorating. I just want to hit them in the head with that SPATULA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
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