Decorating By splash2splat Updated 10 Aug 2009 , 4:53am by cakenutz

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splash2splat Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 12:16am
post #1 of 13

Do you ever feel like people take advantage of you (especially family members) and when you choose to help them out they don't even care!!
My brother-in-law is getting married next friday and I told him I would do a topsy turvy for them like they wanted - (I got paid 200 for supplies, which didn't cover the supplies - but I figured that will be his gift plus so much more) then two weeks ago his bride comes and says her step mom won't pay for a cake at the second reception and could I please so I am doing a dummy wedding cake with a real tier on top problem is I am a jelly fish and agreed to a real top tier 8" dummy tiers 10, 12, 14 covered in fondant for 50 dollars because they don't have the money and then find out they are renting the honeymoon cabin at yellowstone for a week. Not to mention I am traveling a total of 16 + hours for all of the dumb ceremony/receptions!!. I know I am the one that agreed to it but they don't return calls they don't care and I am ready to allow the bride to wear the cake at her reception (harsh I know but I'm mad) Thanks for letting me vent. Last time I am helping family.

12 replies
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BeeBoos-8599_ Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 1:57am
post #2 of 13

I know how hard it is to deal with difficult people especially when they are "family". Sometimes we have to rise above it and be the bigger of the group. If what you have agreed to do is not within your means then I think you should be honest and tell the bride and groom. If on the otherhand it is really just more of an inconvenience and general iritation then buck up and do what will keep peace in the family. The wedding will be over soon enough and you can get back to life as usual. Now have a glass of wine and breath. icon_wink.gif

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diane Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 2:09am
post #3 of 13

when they're family, they feel like they have certain rights!!! icon_mad.gificon_confused.gif

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varika Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 2:11am
post #4 of 13

Woah, wait, time out.

SECOND reception!?

If they don't have money, maybe they should consider not holding TWO receptions!

This is clearly a case of more money than sense right here, and of taking "dear sister-in-law" for a RIDE. I would do the second cake in whatever fashion *I* pleased, and when the bride went, "But it's not RIGHT!" I would say, "You only paid me for $50 of it to be right, and there it is--three teirs. That's $50 of right."

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LaBellaFlor Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 2:14am
post #5 of 13

I have a saying "Family will use you quicker then a stranger". Don't get me wrong, I have some GREAT and very supportive family members...but I have some not so great ones. I have AWESOME friends and people I've cut loose for being those users. But family feels okay and its just not. I'm sorry for your frustration.

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splash2splat Posted 9 Aug 2009 , 11:58pm
post #6 of 13

Thanks for your comments and listening to me vent - I feel much better and in the end I'm fustrated about the cost but I will stick to my part and know that it is giving me experience. Then I will take my lesson's learned. I want the cakes to look good because my name is attached to them so I hope all turns out.

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zdebssweetsj Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 12:05am
post #7 of 13

Sympathy, Good Luck!

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Jen80 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 12:34am
post #8 of 13

It's hard to say no when you're craving to get experience. And it's so sad when people try to take advantage of that, especially family members.

Put this one down to the experience of getting the guts to say that you're worth more.

If they can't afford to pay real money for cakes they shouldn't be having two receptions.

Is this a new trend? I've never heard of it.

Hopefully this event will generate lots of future business for you.

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cylstrial Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 1:53am
post #9 of 13

Poor thing! Tell them that if they don't sit down and get serious with you, you're not going to be able to make their cake, as much as you would like to. (Ha. I knew you would love that last little bit).

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__Jamie__ Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 2:08am
post #10 of 13

Oh holy crap. That is so not right. That goes way beyond being generous.

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kansaswolf Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 3:00am
post #11 of 13

I told my siblings that I'll make them a wedding cake as my gift, and will attempt to incorporate their ideas (colors, flowers, cake shape, etc), but in the end, the design is still up to me. If they want TOTAL control, they can pay full price, thank you... icon_biggrin.gif Haven't had trouble yet! (with 4 out of 7 siblings still unmarried, that could change, but it's worked out so far!)

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CupCake_Caitlin Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 4:09am
post #12 of 13

I ALWAYS get the guilt trip act!
I moved out of home 12months ago, my partner and I are trying to save every penny, plus pay a home loan, car and engagment ring. But my mother, everytime it comes to someones birthday, whether it be a cousin, sister, brother, father, uncle, aunty, nan or pop! She comes to me to make it, not only am I working longer hours then her (she has school hours) I cant afford all the cooking ingrediants, that I pay, "becuase it goes towards them as my gift" that everyone takes credit for.

Now Sometimes I dont mind, but other times, I'm busy and i cant drop everthing and cook a cake in less then 1.5hours (She is a procrastinator) Also, if for once I say No, she always gives the guilt trip on my, "But Caitlin, you make the Best Chocolate cake, it always comes out perfect" and "You know I have all the house work to do, I never stop, its pay back for all the years I took care of you"

I am 20, i have a twin sister living at home a 17year old brother and a stay at home mum for an aunty... you would agree that I shouldnt be the first choice!!

Be angry, let your steam off, we have all been there!!

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cakenutz Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 4:53am
post #13 of 13

Here's my rule of thumb concerning everyone close to my heart. I will supply my talent as my gift but here is how much I need for all the supplies. I make sure they understand that supplies I already have need to be replaced. This weekend was a good ex. made a 2 foot tall r2d2 cake for a dear friends little boy. Before I fiqured it up she called a bakery and asked them what it would cost They said depending on design it would start at 300.00 When I called her and said I needed 110.00 she understood why no problem with guilt. The thing took about 18 pounds of fondant Don't let yourself go broke being the nice guy. I did for years now I know better.

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