Ok, I just made an army tank cake for my friend's son's birthday today. It is fairly heavy and I don't have it on plywood so I have a cooling rack under the cake board for support, just so we can transport it to the site of the party. Then I will take my rack back (hee hee, sorry) and go home. Now my DH was SUPPOSED to cut the plywood yesterday but that's another story. Anyways...it's on my calendar that the cake needs to be delivered to the site at 1:00 today, and I had also told my DH that mulitiple times all week and yesterday since he is delivering it. All good, right?...NOPE! I get up this morning to find the cake, two of my kids, and DH gone! He had called my friend to tell them he was going to bring the cake to their house this morning instead and he hoped they were ready for it!!!! Now , they have to bring the cake themselves to the site, along with their kids and kids friends, all jumping around in the car!!!! They also had to find their own board or something to support the cake weight since my DH was taking the cooling rack gome with him!!! Yes, they are friends, but really! They are stil paying for this cake and I put alot of time into it! The agreement had been for site delivery which I had SPECIFICALLY arranged for her to help them out!!! DH KNEW THIS!!! I am trying to tell myself he was trying to help, but I think he has plans later and wanted to get this "task" out of the way. I know this is really minor but I needed to vent to blow out some steam..if that cake gets wrecked because these poor people have to carry it there themselves, I am going to fondant my DH and put him by the side of the road for the highest bidder 
Aw, at least he tried.
Theresa
Boy, I disagree with THIS one! I don't want them to "try" .... I want them to "Do it!" .... and I mean do it right. It does me no good when he "tries" to help and it ends up costing me more work, a bad review from a customer, or a refund due to a poorly supported cake that collapsed when they moved it.
Imagine a husband's reaction if we "tried" to help by putting transmission fluid in the oil part of the engine. Think he'd be happy that we "tried" to help? 
Ah, but Debi, what we think is right, and what they think is right, are as different as Yin and Yang. Given this information, I have to give him credit for getting it to what he thought was right.
Theresa
I vote: FONDANT THE RAT!!!!!!!!! No! ~ Just kidding!! As I laugh to myself all alone, no husband to blame when things go O so wrong ~ things like this remind me why being single can be a "good thing" (as our old friend Martha Stewert would say) course that was "pre" prison days ... sorry, I digress ...
Ah, but Debi, what we think is right, and what they think is right, are as different as Yin and Yang. Given this information, I have to give him credit for getting it to what he thought was right.
Theresa
He thought wrong. When he's dealing with MY cake and MY customer and MY business, then he's doing it MY way .... he gets no vote and no opinion. 
Is your DH named Aaron???? I think it must be, pretty sure we are married to the same man Yup- I know we are.
I love it when they "help" cost us twice as much work and trouble, then get mad at us because we are pissy over the extra time it takes. Ugh!!!
indydebi - you are soooooo right. Heaven help us if we "help" them in the same capacity they help us.
Don't you love it when they "help" us check the quality of a product by licking the spoon and stick it BACK in to the product I was planning on using!!!! 
NOTE: the word WAS planning 
Oh I especially love it when he thinks it's not official until HE tells me about it. A lady lost her dog and asked if she could put a notice in my window. I said sure and helped her tape it up at eye level so folks would see it as they walked by. HUbby comes to the shop and says, "Did you know there's a big note on your window?"
Uh, no, honey! I only come to the shop every single day and walk thru the same door you just did so I guess there is NO WAY I'd see a bright neon yellow notice about a lost dog plastered right smack dab in the middle of my window! Thank GAWD you came along and told me about it!
He learned LONG ago to not comment on the decorating of a cake at all. If I'm in the middle of it, he has no idea what I'm GOING to do, and if I'm done with it, then I'm DONE with it and it can't be changed. So unless you're over here doing the work, shut the hell up.
Yeah....I'm kinda in a mood today. 
Men have selective hearing. So many times have I told my hubby "Now...on Friday I have to do such and such at such and such time and you'll have to watch the kids". I tell him several times.
Then Thurs. night comes and I say "Don't forget about tomorrow, when I'm gone...." WHAT?! WAIT!!!! You didn't say....I thought you meant....But....
Haha. Luckily it doesn't happen all the time. Plus I've learned to drop more reminders more often. And plus, he has alot of good characteristics to make up for the "typical male" ones!
So unless you're over here doing the work, shut the hell up.
Yeah....I'm kinda in a mood today.
LOL. That's great! My husband has learned as well! When I'm decorating a cake and am in a "trance" (sp? ) DON'T BOTHER ME. When I ask for some help, I want it done the way I have specified just like he does when he wants help from me.
If your fondant work is good, he might get some bids!
Oh I especially love it when he thinks it's not official until HE tells me about it. A lady lost her dog and asked if she could put a notice in my window. I said sure and helped her tape it up at eye level so folks would see it as they walked by. HUbby comes to the shop and says, "Did you know there's a big note on your window?"
Uh, no, honey! I only come to the shop every single day and walk thru the same door you just did so I guess there is NO WAY I'd see a bright neon yellow notice about a lost dog plastered right smack dab in the middle of my window! Thank GAWD you came along and told me about it!
. . . .
Yeah....I'm kinda in a mood today.
Oh, Indydebi! We have to introduce our husbands sometime--or maybe not! 
(Good thing I wasn't drinking my iced tea, or my screen would be wet!) He has many redeeming qualities, but I apparently don't notice anything until he tells me about it. 
I get up this morning to find the cake, two of my kids, and DH gone!
Out of your entire post this is the ONE thing that stuck out to me. I'm impressed that you could sleep through them getting up, getting dressed, and leaving the house...........WOW you must be one heavy sleeper!
Next time you need more support for a cake just glue 3 cake boards together with the grooves going in opposite directions. That way there's no worry about sending a cooling rack out with a paid cake order, that's kind of crazy.
edit to fix spelling errors
lol. well, my dh is kind of the opposite, bless his heart. he's such a perfectionist that he makes sure i get EVERY single detail correct. he makes sure the customers order is perfected. he's been a roofer for 20 years and he's a perfectionist in that too. i'm counting my blessings.
Men have selective hearing. So many times have I told my hubby "Now...on Friday I have to do such and such at such and such time and you'll have to watch the kids". I tell him several times.
Then Thurs. night comes and I say "Don't forget about tomorrow, when I'm gone...." WHAT?! WAIT!!!! You didn't say....I thought you meant....But....
Haha. Luckily it doesn't happen all the time. Plus I've learned to drop more reminders more often. And plus, he has alot of good characteristics to make up for the "typical male" ones!
My husband knows better than to "help" with anything regarding my cakes, unless I ask.
I have a GIANT calendar on our fridge that has everyone's activities/schedule on it, usually 6 weeks in advance. I warn him about upcoming stuff and tell him to pay attention to the calendar at least a week in advance. But when I say "Don't forget, we have (insert activity) this weekend" he'll say "You never told me about that!"
I swear! I think he must have nothing in his head most of the time, wakes up in a new world every day. And this is a VERY smart man. Pfft...it drives me crazy.
I have decided the difference between nagging and reminding is:
Nagging is telling someone, even once, about something he doesn't want to do,
but Reminding can be done 1000 times if it's something he wants to do.
But what I really have never understood is this:
Why does a father need to be told/reminded to watch his own kids? Shouldn't he KNOW to do that? I never got free time to go play with my friends when my son was small...why is it a given that a father gets to do that? Or that you have to make an appointment with him to watch the kids?
And why does he think it's "babysitting" if he is required to spend time with his own children while his wife, their mother, does something else like grocery shopping, a Dr's appt or whatever?
I am glad our son is grown now and living in his own house.
I do what I want now without asking permission. And I don't cook anymore, he's never home anyway.
And why does he think it's "babysitting" if he is required to spend time with his own children while his wife, their mother, does something else like grocery shopping, a Dr's appt or whatever?
Amen Sister!
My favorite quote from Roseanne: "Babysitting, hell! They're his kids, too!"
And I also agree with everything IndyDebi said regards to their "helping" during the cake process! Go away and come back when I'm done to tell me how beautiful it is!!
Mine now has it perfected - he goes to bed while I'm in the middle of decorating...then in the morning, he wakes to a fully decorated cake. He says he likes the "surprise" when he wakes up LOL. Actually, what he USED to do was stand over my shoulder and say, "I wouldn't do it that way. I don't know why you're doing that" etc... I finally made him a deal and told him I wouldn't pretend to know how to trim a house if he'd stop pretending to know how to decorate a cake!
You have to write it down for them. Bullet lists work well with men. Anything longer than one line they stop reading. Anything more complicated than that won't happen.
1. Cut board
2. Place board under cake
3. Check clock
4. At exactly 12:30pm put cake in car.
5. Drive to:_________________
6. Deliver cake, smile, and return home with rack. (they will forget the rack, that sentence is too long for them)
7. Come home.
8. Go lay down, you're done.
You have to write it down for them. Bullet lists work well with men. Anything longer than one line they stop reading. Anything more complicated than that won't happen.
1. Cut board
2. Place board under cake
3. Check clock
4. At exactly 12:30pm put cake in car.
5. Drive to:_________________
6. Deliver cake, smile, and return home with rack. (they will forget the rack, that sentence is too long for them)
7. Come home.
8. Go lay down, you're done.
OMG, I feel for you ladies. We have had a VERY VERY similar "discussion" at our house on Friday night where the new weekly whiteboard was unveiled along with a few promises:
A. I will not nag.
B. Nagging happens when I have long cause remember that you don't keep your word.
C. Therefore, let's push the "reset" button, Ill give you a fresh chance to keep your word.
D. I won't nag once you say you will do something by so-and-so time
E. If you continue to break your work, it becomes a junk bond and the next time, out comes the nagging, so I can be SURE you know I am not going to let you get away with not doing such task.
Men... can't live with them, can't shoot them in the back (cops always know).
Men... can't live with them, can't shoot them in the back (cops always know).
How 'bout, send 'em down the slide* with a kid on their lap!!!!
*check her avatar.
And why does he think it's "babysitting" if he is required to spend time with his own children while his wife, their mother, does something else like grocery shopping, a Dr's appt or whatever?
Oh. My. God. I am speechless. It just clicked in my head that mine does this all the time! That's it. I am putting my foot down (and it is down!).
Strike! Strike! Strike! *walking in circle with a sign that says "Hire a babysitter, it is cheaper than a husband"
Since we are already on the subject of men, mine has a terrible habit of watching me slave over a cake all day while my kids rip the house apart and then coming over when I am done and telling me "oh, you should have done this different." WHAT?!?!?!? OK dear, here are the rules:
Cake Rules
1. Play with the kids and leave me alone while I am in cake world.
2. DO NOT EVER tell me how to do something that you don't know anything about. If you want to be in charge make your own cake.
3. No it's not perfect. I am still learning. When you can do better than me, I will listen. Until then shut up.
4. If the cake falls over and is covered in puke colored icing, you are to smile politely and tell me how very beautiful it is. There is no exception to this rule. Ever.
5. If momma ain't happy, nobody ain't happy.
6. When I finally cut into a cake that I have spent days making, you are to eat it. Never say any of the following: I am not hungry, I don't like cake, I have food poisoning and will just throw it back up, I am diabetic and will die from the sugar. You are to open your mouth, insert the cake and chew with a look of orgasmic rapture on your face.
*Failure to comply with any of the stated rules will result in the offending husband having said cake shoved quite violently in their face, making your own dinner and sleeping in the doghouse. The dog will come inside with me because he loves my cake.
Ahh. I feel better now. A terrible morning turned good. I can face my day now. Thank you. 
The Husband Helping Rules at our house:
Don't help.
If I do ask you to help, do not freelance. Do not think. Do EXACTLY what I asked.
If you do help when asked, finish the job.
End of Husband Helping Rules.
By the time he finishes "helping", he's ready to get out of the kitchen. Fast.
After all, this is the man who "helped" by emptying the dishwasher--and threw out the blade to my bread machine because he "didn't know what it was."!!!!
I love that man!
When I get tired of waiting for my husband to be to cut a board for me, I go to cut it myself. He doesn't think I can do anything that involved electrical tools. Either I cut it myself or he comes and does it then, on my terms.
Funny story...I offered to take my niece out next weekend, and he piped up that I can't as I have a wedding cake due that day (which I knew).
Cake Rules
1. Play with the kids and leave me alone while I am in cake world.
2. DO NOT EVER tell me how to do something that you don't know anything about. If you want to be in charge make your own cake.
3. No it's not perfect. I am still learning. When you can do better than me, I will listen. Until then shut up.
4. If the cake falls over and is covered in puke colored icing, you are to smile politely and tell me how very beautiful it is. There is no exception to this rule. Ever.
5. If momma ain't happy, nobody ain't happy.
6. When I finally cut into a cake that I have spent days making, you are to eat it. Never say any of the following: I am not hungry, I don't like cake, I have food poisoning and will just throw it back up, I am diabetic and will die from the sugar. You are to open your mouth, insert the cake and chew with a look of orgasmic rapture on your face.
*Failure to comply with any of the stated rules will result in the offending husband having said cake shoved quite violently in their face, making your own dinner and sleeping in the doghouse. The dog will come inside with me because he loves my cake.
Ahh. I feel better now. A terrible morning turned good. I can face my day now. Thank you.
LOL!!! #6 is my favorite...........
Fortunately, I am blessed to say that my husband follows all rules when it comes to cake making, but believe me--it took alot of training (read:nagging and reiteration). He used to offer "helpful suggestions" when he sensed my growing frustration level, now, like a well-trained lab, he hides in the other room as soon as the first kitchen tool flies!
And as far as delivery goes, he is always the driver so I have someone to blame when the cake collapses.
Luv him!!!
Men... can't live with them, can't shoot them in the back (cops always know).
How 'bout, send 'em down the slide* with a kid on their lap!!!!
*check her avatar.
K8, Love love love it!!! I've been looking for a slide like this for my two year old, alas... to no avail. They are "safe" and crap nowadays....
I actually have a sign of #5 hanging front and center in MY kitchen......
IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY - AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY!!
That is about one of the only things that made the transfer from my old kitchen to my remodled one!
That's funny! I wish I could find one!
I currently have 2 in my kitchen:
"Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back."
and
"I love you more today than I did yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off!"
I also have a "Beware of Children" next to my front door. (Just trying to give everyone fair warning! lol)
I love how I'm working on a cake and he comes into the kitchen and stares at it for a few minutes and then proceeds to tell me what I need to do to the cake. Like...it needs more of this...or How about you do that.....
I know they mean well but if I don't ask for your help then I really don't need it.
They only thing my DH is good for is lifting the heavy cakes to the car and eating the extra bits I have shaven off the cake.
Love him to death but Indydebi is right....it's our business...it's our WAY !!!!!
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