It amazes me that we now have "graduations" for kindergarten, middle school, grade 9, etc. Kids can't be held back anymore, so they have simply been passed along on "social skills", and we celebrate with an out of control party? Nuts. Then we are surprised that Junior graduates high school, but can't count change. He can't read, or write, yet he "needs" a new car as a grad gift.
Growing up with a cousin same age as I (1960's)....she got clothing from an exclusive dept. store, mine came from a discount store....Senior year, she got a brand new Triumph Spitfire Convertible, I got to drive the family car one time to school, she looked down her nose at "regular kids" I would be friends with anyone.
Her parents and mine were about equal financially, BUT....her parents were in debt up to their eyeballs, filed bankrupt a couple of times and went about doing the same mess all over again, my aunt died in over the top debt.
She had all the things that girls like me would envy, but she ended up marrying a man that she thought would give her everything, and he did...his parents had money, but he turned out to be a child molester, his own daughter! She stayed with him, her health is in the toilet, two of her sons have been in trouble with the law, and her now adult daughter has issues for the rest of her life.....
Money, material greed, what price some people pay to "have it all".
I am actually kind of....taken aback at this whole "x grade graduation" thing, myself. It's not a graduation! You haven't earned a degree, you just passed a grade! It seems utterly ridiculous to me, and devalues the actual ACCOMPLISHMENT involved with graduating.
Well thank god somebody came along and said it! "Graduating" the 8th grade?????
On a business trip, a co-worker mentioned an 8th grade graduation and I voiced my opinion on it. She said, "Yeah, but this may be the only graduation most of these kids actually see." So the answer is do a phony one while they're still there instead of working and encouraging them to actually, you know, GRADUATE!!!??????
I don't consider moving from 8th grade to 9th grade a "milestone". Geesh, let's just throw a big party when they go from Algebra I to Algebra II or something! If people are going to be ridiculous about it, then you might as well go whole hog!
my middle child just "graduated" kindergarten two days ago, to me it was a milestone and I was proud of him for being such a great student... but no over the top cake, no party, just a special night out with the family to "celebrate"
when I graduated 8th grade it meant I moved to the high school, bigger and better things. Maybe this is where the "graduation" part comes in, the fact that they are moving up????
(still no party for me though 
)
I agree with indydebi, I never had an 8th grade graduation and when my oldest was moving from the 8th-9th grade I was told we needed a committee for there promotion (not graduation) I still felt like it was a silly thing to do. I have worked hard in life to achieve and move foward. This generation is being spoon fed.
when I graduated 8th grade it meant I moved to the high school, bigger and better things.
I must be an old fart, because my school had 7 thru 12 in the same building. A promotion from 8th to 9th grade just meant you were taller than the 7th graders.
I guess it depends on where you are as to when the 'graduations' are held. Here it's at the end of middle school (Gr 9) and High School (12). Also, from my experience at the end of Pre-School (which was fine - a certificate in front of the parents, treats and a mingle).
My son is finishing at his elementary school this year (Gr 6), and even for that they will have an assembly and a lunch. That seems ok, and at least they don't call it a graduation!
Many christenings, communions, confirmations, bar and bat mitzvahs are like mini-weddings. Over the top. My kids--at thirteen--went to bar mitzvahs at the Rainbow Room in NYC, and many other exclusive venues. I saw a child arrive at her First Communion ceremony in a limo.
.
Wait....let me understand this. A child celebrating her entry as a memeber into a christian church, a church that tells us to NOT put our faith in money, to give to the poor, to not worry about riches, arrived in a limo? LOL, does ANYONE else see the irony in this?
It is the drive to want more that makes us work harder, as child I was given everything I NEEDED, but not necessarily everything I wanted. Both my husband I worked our tushies off and got scholarships and summer jobs and came out of college debt free. I have friends who are so over their head in debt I wonder how they can breath. If I have to carry even a small balance on my credit card I have a minor panic attacks. Here's a concept if you don't have money....DON'T SPEND IT!!!!
I think I'm an older fart.
In 1965 I 'graduated' from the 8th grade. Shoot me.
Forty four freakin' years ago.
(So that's what's wrong with her you're thinking!)
My sister took me shopping and bought me two dresses, one for the banquet, one for graduation and a new pair of shoes--out of her own money--she's only 4 years older than me. And I did fall in love with this one dress that cost too much and she got it for me anyway!
She hung the fricken moon. My sister has never ever done anything wrong.
I can describe those dresses to this day.
I attended the services alone however. My Mom got me a pretty garnenia wristlette corsage and she got my hair done for me. And the guy that I had to walk with was not pissed anymore that he had to walk with me after all was said & done--nice that he did not treat me like toxic waste that night. It was that expensive dress I'm sure.
There was no party.
I did not attend high school graduation--it's no fun alone. Then again I've attended all the kids' graduations and my husband's and those ain't really a picnic either <cough boring cough>
when I graduated 8th grade it meant I moved to the high school, bigger and better things.
I must be an old fart, because my school had 7 thru 12 in the same building. A promotion from 8th to 9th grade just meant you were taller than the 7th graders.
actually, now that I think about it, I "graduated" 6th, and 8th, and 12th grades... the schools have changed a little since then though but my middle school only had 7th and 8th
i am only 29 and I considered myself an old fart compared to "kids" nowadays 
Some of the 8th grade graduations might be a tradition the schools have held onto from the time when going to high school was not expected or needed to make a living.
Our local schools have preschool, 8th grade and high school graduations. I don't THINK they do anything for the 5th graders, I'll find out next year I suppose.
I totally understand where the OP is coming from. No graduation until I graduated from High School. Then, just a party at the house with the relatives, and my present was a watch. Not a fancy watch with diamonds or gold, just a regular watch, because now I would be getting a job, and needed to be on time. I didn't realize I was missing out on so much!!!! My daughter just had her Junior Prom, and when we went dress shopping, most of the dresses were in the $300 - $500 dollar range. This is not a wedding dress for Gods sake, just a dress to wear to a dance for 1 night. Yet the girls had the expensive dresses, hair done, nails done, and oh ya, a very plush limo bus to take them to the venue. They do feel that each occasion needs to be bigger and better than the last! I don't feel that today
s children (and I include my own) really understand that material things are not what make people happy in life. I think society needs to take a step back, and appreciate other things! JMO
Just because you have money doesn't mean you need to spend it either. It goes back to celebrate a "true" accomplishement. If this continues, it won't be long before we have big bashes celebrating Potty Trained while parents flush their financial morals away!
Many christenings, communions, confirmations, bar and bat mitzvahs are like mini-weddings. Over the top. My kids--at thirteen--went to bar mitzvahs at the Rainbow Room in NYC, and many other exclusive venues. I saw a child arrive at her First Communion ceremony in a limo.
.
Wait....let me understand this. A child celebrating her entry as a memeber into a christian church, a church that tells us to NOT put our faith in money, to give to the poor, to not worry about riches, arrived in a limo? LOL, does ANYONE else see the irony in this?
Not so much. I mean a limo drive means you're a crappy non-religious person? A limo ride means you put your faith in money? Really?
my middle child just "graduated" kindergarten two days ago, to me it was a milestone and I was proud of him for being such a great student... but no over the top cake, no party, just a special night out with the family to "celebrate"
when I graduated 8th grade it meant I moved to the high school, bigger and better things. Maybe this is where the "graduation" part comes in, the fact that they are moving up????
(still no party for me though
)
It's one thing to have a dinner to celebrate moving on to the next grade--in fact, my family had a practice of rewarding me when I made honor roll by going out to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. (Actually, my mother took me out to lunch this afternoon to celebrate getting on the dean's list.) But by no means is this a graduation.
I looked it up. Webster's, Random House, and American Heritage all agree: "graduation" means "getting a degree or diploma." American Heritage even specifies "marking completion of studies."
(...go me! I finally figured out formatting!)
I think the wisest thing I've ever heard on this subject was from Robert A. Heinlein's The Notebooks of Lazarus Long: "Keep your children short on cash, but long on hugs."
I totally understand where the OP is coming from. No graduation until I graduated from High School. Then, just a party at the house with the relatives, and my present was a watch. Not a fancy watch with diamonds or gold, just a regular watch, because now I would be getting a job, and needed to be on time. I didn't realize I was missing out on so much!!!! My daughter just had her Junior Prom, and when we went dress shopping, most of the dresses were in the $300 - $500 dollar range. This is not a wedding dress for Gods sake, just a dress to wear to a dance for 1 night. Yet the girls had the expensive dresses, hair done, nails done, and oh ya, a very plush limo bus to take them to the venue. They do feel that each occasion needs to be bigger and better than the last! I don't feel that today
s children (and I include my own) really understand that material things are not what make people happy in life. I think society needs to take a step back, and appreciate other things! JMO
I already dread my DD's prom.... right now she's only 8! And of course there is Junior and Senior years, too...
Me, I didnt go, I worked part time and still couldnt afford or justify spending that kind of money, but I was sort of the type that didnt care much about it anyway... didnt dare ask my parents to pay for it either
You know what, I still could care less that I didnt go... but that's just me
.... but my middle school only had 7th and 8th
"Back in my day......." , there was no such thing as "middle" school. Elementary was 1 thru 6. Jr. High was 7th and 8th. High school was 9 thru 12. When the term "middle school" was introduced, I thought it sounded like a silly thing to call a phase of school.
[quote="indydebiWhen the term "middle school" was introduced, I thought it sounded like a silly thing to call a phase of school. [/quote]
Well, I wonder if it's an imported term, because I grew up in the UK, where you have Primary school, Middle school and Secondary school, which more or less correspond with Elementary, Middle and High school, but Middle makes more sense in that context! BTW No graduation for any of them!!
.... but my middle school only had 7th and 8th
"Back in my day......."
, there was no such thing as "middle" school. Elementary was 1 thru 6. Jr. High was 7th and 8th. High school was 9 thru 12. When the term "middle school" was introduced, I thought it sounded like a silly thing to call a phase of school.
We didn't have Jr High. We had 1st through 8th then 9th through 12th.
I didn't go to kindergarten either--wasn't necessary back then--besides a dinosaur might a stepped on one of those littlest K-5rs.
But can you believe they're not teaching cursive writing anymore??!! Is that true or a rumor?
God almighty there's no torture like Palmer Penmanship torture.
All 'em fricken circles and straight lines--I could never get it right!
I remember sitting through my high school graduation and mumbling, "This is not so different from any other year; I still am starting school again in September and I have four more years to go!" Graduating from college was the big relief for me, though, just because it was all finally OVER. My in-laws took me out to dinner. I didn't know I was supposed to ask for a huge party! (But, I was 8 months pregnant, so eating sounded like a party to me at the time! 
)
I didnt get anything for any graduation. Last yr I made my daughter a little cake for last day of kindergarten, no fancy dress, no party, she did wear a skirt to school that she had owned forever. We were proud of her that she did well because my kids first few years of school were difficult, we're military & we had to many neighbor's, friends & ppl hubby were stationed with who never made it back from Iraq. The worst for them was our neighbor, whose kids were my kids best little friends, broke our hearts, my girls took it hard, I really had to push them in school, they were upset badly & I had them talking to a counselor, so she got a cake for her hard work & to celebrate the end of the year. This year I made my brother a little cake to celebrate him going into high school, he is sooooo excited to finally be going into the high school I graduated from 11 yrs ago! He's 13, & just made it into NJHS & been on honor roll this whole past year. I made a cake in my hs's colors & he was happy. He was celebrating the end of the school year. My youngest brother just got done with 6th grade, his ceremony was this past Monday, they had 2 large cakes for the kids & parents & an award ceremony, which I thought was wrong, it was the same 9 kids who got all the awards. 40 some other kids had to sit there......I was BORED out of my mind!!!! My 2 yr old got so bored he fell asleep! I didnt make him anything, this next year no one "graduates" from any special grade, but I will make a "it's summer time to celebrate" cake.
Jr high does sound a little better than middle school,
I live one county over from where I grew up, its a very small area with only one high school... and at my kids; school that is k-8. All I wonder is, why are these huge 8th graders in a school with my babies (6 & 8yr olds)
It was easier as a little kid when it stopped at 6th and bigger kids had their own school
By the way Indydebi, you can't be an old fart... I just noticed your signature and you are on Twitter! I dont think they allow old farts on Twitter but I could be wrong!
I am actually kind of....taken aback at this whole "x grade graduation" thing, myself. It's not a graduation! You haven't earned a degree, you just passed a grade! It seems utterly ridiculous to me, and devalues the actual ACCOMPLISHMENT involved with graduating.
Well thank god somebody came along and said it! "Graduating" the 8th grade?????
On a business trip, a co-worker mentioned an 8th grade graduation and I voiced my opinion on it. She said, "Yeah, but this may be the only graduation most of these kids actually see." So the answer is do a phony one while they're still there instead of working and encouraging them to actually, you know, GRADUATE!!!??????
I don't consider moving from 8th grade to 9th grade a "milestone". Geesh, let's just throw a big party when they go from Algebra I to Algebra II or something! If people are going to be ridiculous about it, then you might as well go whole hog!
It's like Debi and I share a brain. Someone else posted on a thread about a 5th grade graduation and I thought to myself, "They celebrate it because the kid may not stick it out to graduate high school, gotta celebrate it when you can".
To each his own, I just know my kids better not think of coming to me talking about, "Mama, can you throw me a quinceñera and spend as much on it as you would my wedding? Oh! And then spend a fortune on my real graduation and prom, and theeeennnn spend another fortune on my wedding"...I'm not the brightest star in the sky, but I ain't the dullest either.
If I was capable of paying for my senior expenses with my part-time job and allowance money, putting myself through college (scholarships people), and paying for my own wedding they can do it too. It builds character and appreciation for your money. And I turned out to be normal despite not having a quince (not the fruit, the party)!
By the way Indydebi, you can't be an old fart... I just noticed your signature and you are on Twitter! I dont think they allow old farts on Twitter
but I could be wrong!
No, they do. Sorry Indy ((hug))
My daughter just had her Junior Prom, and when we went dress shopping, most of the dresses were in the $300 - $500 dollar range. This is not a wedding dress for Gods sake, just a dress to wear to a dance for 1 night.
Heh. Have you ever watched Say Yes to the Dress? Wedding dresses now are running into the thousands of dollars.
Dresses when I was ready for prom--senior prom; I didn't go or want to go to the junior prom--were in the $100-200 range. Mine was about $60 and it's still fantastically special to me because me, my mother, and my grandmother made it together. It was literally the last thing my grandmother ever sewed for me, too. I bought a $15 pair of gloves and shoes that cost a whole $25. We did have a fancy dinner, though, at the local gourmet place...where we got free desserts because my cousin worked there as a chef at the time. (We didn't ask, he sent them out.)
But my parents started letting me decide things when I was in my early teens. They would tell me that there was x dollar limit. I could invite 40 people and do a chips and dip party--I did that for high school graduation, since I could kind of tell my mother was dying for one--or I could invite 2 people and go to the local dinner theater that was much more expensive. I almost always chose the smaller but more expensive option.
Seriousy, the problem isn't that people are having massive expensive parties. Massive expensive parties are great fun! It's just that justifying massive expensive parties by making small kudos into OMG huge accomplishments!!! is doing more harm than good to our kids.
.... but my middle school only had 7th and 8th
"Back in my day......."
, there was no such thing as "middle" school. Elementary was 1 thru 6. Jr. High was 7th and 8th. High school was 9 thru 12. When the term "middle school" was introduced, I thought it sounded like a silly thing to call a phase of school. We didn't have Jr High. We had 1st through 8th then 9th through 12th.
I didn't go to kindergarten either--wasn't necessary back then--besides a dinosaur might a stepped on one of those littlest K-5rs.
But can you believe they're not teaching cursive writing anymore??!! Is that true or a rumor?
God almighty there's no torture like Palmer Penmanship torture.
All 'em fricken circles and straight lines--I could never get it right!
My DD was just starting cursive at near the end of 2nd grade, so I am sure they'll hit it head on next year... she likes it so far
But I tell ya, they teach the math so weird now I dont understand the method, simple double digit addition, even. She looks at me like I am crazy when I go over it with her.... I need to go to elementary school to learn how to help my kids with their homework apparently
My youngest brother just got done with 6th grade, his ceremony was this past Monday, they had 2 large cakes for the kids & parents & an award ceremony, which I thought was wrong, it was the same 9 kids who got all the awards. 40 some other kids had to sit there......I was BORED out of my mind!!!!
Not to be confrontational, but this is kind of what the whole thread is about. The same 9 kids got all the awards. Do you think they should have shared them out so that everyone got one? What about those kids who DID achieve more, DID work extra hard, run extra fast, whatever.
I'm sure the teachers thought long and hard and gave awards based on all those things, and as a parent of not-spectacularly-high-achieving kids, I'd RATHER they gave them to the kids who really deserved them, because then the awards actually have meaning, instead of being an everyone's a winner cop-out.
Totally OT - can anyone tell me how to put multiple quotes into one reply? Thx.
Totally OT - can anyone tell me how to put multiple quotes into one reply? Thx.
There might be a shorter way, but I open a Word document, then cut-n-paste the quote-screen onto the word document. Then add my comments ..... then cut-n-paste the whole thing into a response.
Seriousy, the problem isn't that people are having massive expensive parties. Massive expensive parties are great fun! It's just that justifying massive expensive parties by making small kudos into OMG huge accomplishments!!! is doing more harm than good to our kids.
I think you are right, here 
I am torn between wanting my kids to grow up grateful for what they have like I did, and wanting them to have what I didnt, but I am leaning more toward the grateful part
One modest birthday party per year, if that, is gonna have to be good enough for my kids... We will not go all out for each year you pass one grade to the next...
but I am considering a HUGE party if only it will help with potty training my 2 yr old (just kidding, of course, it wont help)
[quote="varika"]Heh. Have you ever watched Say Yes to the Dress? Wedding dresses now are running into the thousands of dollars./quote]
Yes, I watch that sometimes. You can actually tell how the girl has been brought up from their reactions to the prices. They often come in with a budget and find something that's quite a bit over, which they might love. Some sigh, stroke it lovingly and move on to something they CAN afford. Others (many more others, I think) bat their eyelashes and do the "Oh, daddy...?" thing, and it's theirs.
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