OK, so so I cut myself once. Have another cut, about like a long papercut, have no idea where that came from.

But the kicker: Eating chinese sesame noodles. Sucking up a noodle and the sauce comes back and splashes in my eye!!!! And there was jalapenos in it. Poor boyfriend didn't know what the heck was going on. I just held my eye and moaned and started yelling WATER WATER.

At least it wasn't Habanero sauce in my eye like a few years back...

I swear I'm so clumsy I could put Bella to shame (Twilight reference for you non-fans.)

What's the clumsiest thing you've done?

Well, I bounced down the stairway once and severely bruised my tailbone.

Of course, it was New Year's Eve and alcohol WAS involved.

Another time, when I managed a warehouse, the new logistics director was brought out to be introduced to all of us. Here I was, looking dang elegant in a white skirt suit with black trim, black heels-n-hose, with black and white earrings that matched the buttons on my suit, with a cup of coffee in my hand, standing around like I'm actually in charge. I'm introduced to the new guy. I trip over a skid, splash my coffee all over my white suit. I get coffee behind my contacts, so I'm looking thru brown water and can't see anything for awhile.

Yeah .... GREAT first impression!

He was hired about a month before our company Christmas dinner and we were at the same table and I met his wife. So I asked her, "Did he tell you about the great first impression I made when I met him?" and shared the story. She was busting a gut laughing and said, "oh yeah, he told me about that!"

I'm not sure if that made me feel better or not.

I'm pretty sure that beats just about anything I've got. Does make me remember a luncheon we had when I worked for The Telephone Company.

It was in our regular cafeteria but they tried to make it all formal and they scooted tables together and put white tablecloths over the tables. I was drinking some kind of red fruit juice and managed to set it down right at the point where two of the tables met and didn't quite line up. The cup spilled and the juice headed in a line, straight as an arrow, to an AVP type level that was seated across from me. He was known for being a sharp dresser and I would bet his suits were probably upwards of $400 bucks, maybe even twice that. I have never seen an older guy jump up so fast!!

Later in the dinner we were eating mousse out of these little boat shaped chocolate shells. The lady running the dinner said 'for entertainment, I was going to see if we could get someone to put this in their mouth (would look kind of sort of like chocolate lips). But I think Kristy took care of the entertainment portion for us!'.

Of course I had to laugh it off but inside I was mortified

One of my worst was one of those "skirt tucked into panty hose" moments, involving skirt, slip and all. Unfortunately I was in a very crowded karaoke club, walked out of the ladies room, felt a draft...you know...my entire backside exposed through panty hose.

Fortunately/unfortunately, I actually knew a lot of the people (I worked there part time as a blackjack dealer.)

I've also done the slip and slide down the stairs (no alcohol involved in this one) and got a two pound sausage size hematoma in my cheek (you know the one) and hip...great fun! Took forever for that thing to heal! At a trip to the doctor for something else a few weeks later, the doctor nearly had a fit that I hadn't come in to see about it, said he could have (and should have) drained the blood out of it...but I didn't know at the time that was possible.

I was texting my son last week as i walked out of a restaurant and promptly twisted my foot as i ended up face first in the parking lot.

But i really think the worst thing i ever did was rounding a corner at work and walked into a metal rack giving me a black eye for two weeks.

My name is Erin and I am a Klutz. yes with a capital K.

I am constantly clumsy. If I don't have a bandaid on for a whole week I'm doing very well. I always have bruises on my shins from walking into things - particularly our bed frame which sticks out a few inches on all sides about 5 inches. I'll walk out the bathroom door and start turning right before I'm out the door and slam my whole shoulder into the door jam - like a linebacker.

My latest dozy - which was sooo stupid and I knew it was going to happen. I was making breakfast and trying to slice frozen backbacon with my big very sharp chef's knife. I knew the bacon was going to slide because the piece was quite thin. Oh yes a very nice slice on my ring finger - about 2 cm long and 1 cm deep. Probably could use a couple of stitches but I'm not a fan of stitches. It was actually doing ok until I showered last night. then I couldn't lotion myself and had to ask my husband to. Then of course I had to show him my cut. He wants to ban me from the kitchen.

your OP reminded me of a few years ago and I was cutting up chilies. I get a lot of nose bleeds and thought I was getting one so I touched my nose before washing my hands - BURNING. I tried everything - including rinsing my nose with milk. I didn't have a nose bleed but it hurt for DAYS. Of course I washed my hands and then went back to cooking but I was so mad at myself.

I'm so clumsy lately too..

I'm heading into the gym and fall upstairs on the way in and graze my knee get to the treadmill and start my run 10mins left of my 9m run my left leg stops running and the rest of me continues crash down i come after being helped to my feet i attempt to limp to my locker and fall down the stairs i struggle to my feet can't put any weight on my leg at tis stage the receptionist hands me an ice pack and bandage on the way out the door i head for the car almost crawling and the wind blows the door into my face and i now have a huge lump growing out of my eyebrow

I manage to drive home (i've no idea how i managed) crawl in the door go straight to bed and crawl out if bed in the morning and the rest of the day see the pshysiotherapist a few days later to discover i have torn my calf muscle OUCH and will be out of action for 10-12 weeks.

It never rains but it pours

I'm massively clumsy.
I have tons of stories but I'll tell you the funniest one that involves my DH.
He was suntanning in our backyard in a lawn chair. I got a call when I was at work saying "Honey, I got a black eye". I asked how and he told me. I couldn't help but bust up laughing. He went to turn on the lawn chair to lay on his stomach and the chair came back and the metal frame of the lawn chair hit him in the face. He had a HUGE black eye. Looked like someone beat the snot out of him.

I'm not generally clumsy, but I do have a couple of doozies. My number one, though, was when I was about 21 ys. old. It was the middle of the night and I got into a cleaning mood. I was cleaning the bathroom and so had ajax in the toilet, sink, tub. and had the toilet seat up. I thought while the ajax set a while I'd reorganize the cabinet above. I was taking stuff out and grabbed a big bottle of perfume out by the top/cover which was made of plastic. The bottle was heavy and so fell out of the topper right onto the edge of the porcelain bowl, breaking off a triangular piece on the top and side. Water pours out everywhere. At the same moment Said piece of toilet bowl falls right onto my left foot (I have veiny feet and hands) and makes a nick which proceeds to gush a geyser of blood. I'm in a panic, screaming, trying to grab a towel for my foot and another for the floor. It was RIDICULOUS I swear, if it hadn't happened to ME I'd be calling myself a friggin' liar!