My Daughter Will Be 6 And Weighs 60 Lbs...what Can I Do?

Lounge By Kiddiekakes Updated 6 Jan 2010 , 10:55pm by Pookie59

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Kiddiekakes Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 4:17pm
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My baby is turning 6 in 2 weeks and for the last year or so she has really put on weight. icon_cry.gif I know it was and is what she is eating so I stopped buying all the chips,pastries etc months ago.She just eats and eats...There are some days we will be home all day and she eats from morning to night...I have to admit I have gotten upset with her a few times which I know does't help! icon_redface.gif I just don't want a over weight child as I know hard it can be in school with peers and society treating over weight people so badly.I was chunky as a child and I know how hurtful it was.I have stopped buying junk...trying to get her to eat healthier and it has worked some but I really could use some tips,ideas and positive reinforcement that there is hope!!She wears a size 9-10 already... icon_cry.gif I blame myself..I should be able to say No!! icon_redface.gif


32 replies
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SecretAgentCakeBaker Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 4:29pm
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Perhaps she has a medical condition that is causing her to be hungry all the time. You might take her for a thorough workup. There are conditions in which people never feel full. I think there might be meds they can take to help that.

Also, get a Wii, and don't buy any of the video type games, only the sports type. (The Wii comes with Wii Sports-bowling, boxing, tennis, baseball, golf). My 6 year old loves it. She is homeschooled so we use it as part of our 'gym' period. She plays every day for 30-45 minutes. She moves the entire time. Now even my husband & I are getting exercise that we were not before.

Good luck!

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Deb_ Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 5:24pm
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I was going to suggest you have her checked for a thyroid condition. My friends 8 yr old just tested positive for this, it runs in their family. While it's not common in kids that age, it can happen.

The Wii is a great idea also sign her up for soccer or some other activity where she'll get some running around time.

Remember we are role models for our daughters, so be sure you are making healthy choices when snacking too. Go out for walks together. Try not to talk about weight in a negative way, girls especially are so sensitive about their weight and you don't want her to go to the other extreme of Anorexia.

You're already doing the right thing by not buying the junk food, if it's not around they can't eat it. Now you guys just need to get her to exercise a little more. Once the weather warms up she'll be outside running around and riding her bike.

It's been a while since I had a 6yr old, what is the appropriate weight? Is her doctor concerned?

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mbelgard Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 7:48pm
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The first thing I'd do is set regular snack and meal times. If it's not time to eat then the kids need to stay out of the kitchen. With a set time you can tell her that she has an hour or whatever until it's time to eat again so she has an idea of how much longer. It might also help you say "no" without feeling so bad.

Get a Wii and if you can find one get a Wii Fit to go with it. I believe they now have a cheerleading game that works with the Wii Fit and that might really get her going. Make a point of using it WITH her. If you get the Wii Fit I'd avoid the body tests for her because they tell you if you're overweight, she will have to do one to set up her profile but you don't have to do one again.

Remember that you aren't being mean when you tell her no, you're trying to help her.

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Kiddiekakes Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 9:51pm
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Thanks you all for the responses...Funny thing..Santa brought them Wii for Christmas so I will have to get the Wii fit and get more active with her.

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CakeForte Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 10:09pm
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First...check w/ the doc and make sure there isn't an underlying problem.

Then, like PP said, plan all meals and snacks, around every 3 hours.

Strive to make meal have a protein, a veggie, and a carb. I find it easier to add in fruits as a snack, dessert or with breakfast. She should be drinking plenty of water, low fat milk w/ dinner. Juices - those should be viewed as a special treat like cookies candy and cake because they have a lot of calories as well. A SMALL glass (4 ounces or so) once a day is really all she needs.

However, you also need to make sure the portion sizes are not out of control. No matter the food...if the portions are gigantic , weight will be gained.

I work as a private childcare provider and the schedule really helps a lot...for me and the children. We don't "ban" foods. We eat everything...just not all of the time, all day long. On valentines we got to eat a lot of candy and girl scout cookies....but it was ONE snack....out of many healthy meals and snacks. The child that I watch eats everything under the sun and the others are's not that I do anything special...I just think that he sees me eating everything he eats, and there is always a variety of food each day.

We also stay active by playing outside, going to parks, dancing to music inside. I'm in Texas so we didn't have to deal with really bad weather, but we also go to the indoor play places for children. Sometimes we walk the mall. Just anything to keep from sitting still basically.

ETA: Focus on the positive and nourish her self esteem. Don't make the focus of "she needs to lose weight" It will come of once the new habits become routine. If she gets in an activity such as dance or sports....her body will naturally adjust.

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MikeRowesHunny Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 10:10pm
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I have the same problem, my daughter is NEVER full and would eat all day long if I let her have free reign. I use this tool to keep a check on my daughter:

Only once has she strayed into the 'might be obese' category. She's always hovering around the 95th percentile, but weight with height she's OK, she was 9lb 2oz at birth and 22in long, so as she's always been around the 95th percentile the doc says this is normal for her. If you compare my daughter to the other kids in her class, although she's one of the youngest she TOWERS over most of the kids! Considering these are Dutch kids (the 2nd tallest nation on earth next to the Masai), and from English stock, that's quite a feat lol!

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maryjsgirl Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 11:29pm
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How is she eating "morning to night"? icon_confused.gif Is she allowed to help herself to the kitchen?

I have a son that is an eater. He wants to eat when he's bored and when he is stressed. He isn't truly hungry all of the time. So when he comes bugging for something I either find something else to entertain him or see if something is bothering him and talk.

For dinners I normally always have leftovers and if I let them sit out everyone tries to overstuff themselves with seconds. So I make everyone's plates and take the leftovers and make lunches, freeze, etc BEFORE calling everyone to dinner. Then when they start looking around for leftovers they see nothing is left, lol.

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koolaidstains Posted 21 Feb 2009 , 11:57pm
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Definately have her checked out with her ped and get a second opiniong if you have to.

Someone asked what's normal for six, I'v got a 5.5 year old boy who is just over 40 pounds, a 10 and 9 year old that are both around 70-75. I have no idea what my 7 year old is LOL. They are all in the normal range, my 9 year old is tall and skinny.

I do think having set meal and snack times is good, but I don't agree that no other snacking is a good idea. Kids go through lots of stages and some times they are growing and actually need more food. That being said, when it isn't a planned meal or snack time my kids can have fruits or vegetables. If they complain, I say, well then you must not be hungry! I keep fruits and veggies within easy reach and they don't even have to ask (but they always do icon_smile.gif ).

It's not really a diet, it's simply a way of living. Don't expect her to lose weight, expect she'll grow into her weight by having her live in the right way. I love the Wii idea, we have one too. Other than that get outside and get moving.

What kinds of things is she eating? You said you got rid of the junk, but there's a lot of "food" that I would consider junk. For example I think chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, mac and cheese and other typical kid foods are mostly junk. We don't even have juice on our house. Once in a while I'll get orange juice when it's on sale, but apple and grape juices aren't much better than soda! Your child is much better off eating an apple, orange or grapes and drinking water. Milk isn't even a necessity (although I LOVE milk and we go through 4plus gallons a week). Milk does have calories, and you can get calcium in other foods.

I think everything in moderation is a wonderful thing to teach our kids. There are no "bad" foods, just better choices. If 95% of your choices are good than some less than good choices aren't going to ruin you. I love that when my kids ask if they can have a piece of candy I say, if you have a fruit or veggie first. My son even asks for "fruit candy" now, meaning if he eats a fruit can he have a candy LOL.

If everything is okay medically I challenge you to really look at the food choices that you've got available in your house. Can you switch to whole wheat bread and pasta? Lower fat milk? Cooking more fresh food and using less convenience items that often have extra fat and sugar?

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susies1955 Posted 22 Feb 2009 , 12:23am
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Hum, my 6 1/2 year old grandson is 55 pounds and looks great. icon_smile.gif

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michellenj Posted 22 Feb 2009 , 1:50am
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My dd just turned 6 and is almost 60 pounds, but she is very tall and muscular. I got the dreaded BMI/your child is at risk of being overweight letter from the school, but she looks good.

My dd would have lots more snacks if I allowed them. I keep plenty of bananas, apples, grapes, and oranges in the house and my kids can eat as much of them as they want. Every meal I put salad and steamed veggies on teir plate first, so that there is less room for the "bad" stuff. If I brought them into the house, she would probably eat an entire bag of Oreos in one sitting (if I didn't get them first icon_redface.gif ). Low fat yogurt is something else that I keep around, and baby carrots.

It's kind of tough in the winter to keep active here, but in the spring, summer and fall we do soccer, softball, and swinning. I take them to the gym with me to help them see that it's important to keep your body healthy, and I sign her up for kids' races when they have local fun runs here.

Good luck!

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costumeczar Posted 22 Feb 2009 , 5:07pm
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Check with her doctor first, because as long as she's okay on the height/weight charts it might just be how she's built. My daughter is 10 and is already 5'3", weights 128 and is perfectly healthy. She's always been right at the top of the height/weight scale, but she's just built solid, like my husband is. (and she has a black belt in karate and can kick the [email protected] out of you, so that will be handy when she's 16 and on a date with some little horndog! icon_twisted.gif )

Also, be aware the the Wii fit will tell you if you're overweight when you do the initial setup, but the scale isn't the most sensitive thing. It told my daughter that she was overweight, because you put your age in and it uses that to base it on. She knows that she's not overweight, and when she got on it again the next day it said that she had lost 4 pounds icon_confused.gif It's not completely accurate, shall we say. She loves it, too. Do the aerobic section and the balance section for the "fun" games like hula hooping and skiing.

Please emphasize health with your daughter, not weight. It sounds like you're doing that, but I know it's hard not to say the word "fat." It's good to get rid of junk food, but limiting snacking altogether can backfire when it just makes it look more attractive. It's a tough call, but if you're providing healthy food for her that's good.

Another person said that she might be going through a growth spurt, which does make my kids eat like there's no tomorrow, so that could be the case.

It's hard to have to worry about your kids...I think that no matter what we do we're going to feel guilty about it somehow! Just check with her doctor, keep providing healthy food, and you'll have done everything that you can.

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Kiddiekakes Posted 22 Feb 2009 , 5:11pm
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Costume Czar....Thanks for the laugh...Actualyy my son is in Karate and we are putting her in also in September too...I'm with yah on the 16 yr old Horndogs!!! That is why I would like her to do karate so she can $#&% Kick those horny boys!! HA!HA!

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costumeczar Posted 22 Feb 2009 , 8:03pm
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Karate's a great workout, they don't go-go-go the whole time like an aerobics class, but they come out of there all sweaty anyway!

I told my daughter that if she's ever on a date and a guy tries something, she should stop him. She said "I'll just kick him in the nuts." icon_lol.gif I guess that's what you get when you also have an older son to teach their sisters these things!

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jammjenks Posted 23 Feb 2009 , 3:37pm
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Hmmmm...Is she tall? My daughter is very tall, actually the tallest in her class by far. She is 6 1/2 and weighs 86 lbs. (She's the older one in my avatar) I guess 60 lbs seems skinny to me. My DD is very solid and has always weighed more than she looks like she would. You have received lots of valuable suggestions above.

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jer702 Posted 23 Feb 2009 , 5:33pm
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I am currently going through this with my 6 yr old daughter. She isn't a bad eater but I feel like she's not active enough. She's been taking ballet for the last year and I just signed her up for gymnastics and actually just bought her the Wii Fit yesterday. I don't want to make it such a big deal cause I wouldn't want to cause self esteem issues but I do try and sneak little things in to get her and us as a family healthier. I am definately interested to see the responses.

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jer702 Posted 23 Feb 2009 , 5:37pm
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I agree with you on the Wii, It also told her that she was overweight but I made sure to let her know that it was just a game and thankfully it didn't seem to bother her. She enjoyed doing the Aerobics part and also the yoga too since she's been taking yoga in school. Hopefully this will work, cause she's working out and having a blast at the same time.

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ziggytarheel Posted 23 Feb 2009 , 5:41pm
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I have 2 grown children who have always been quite thin. I think that is mostly due to good genes on my husband's side of the family! In adulthood, I think they stay very thin because they don't obsess about food. Neither one are incredibly active, but they aren't sedentary either.

Besides good genes and a healthy attitude generally about food, I think there were certain things that helped when they were growing up. We never had chips or soft drinks in the house unless it was for a very special occasion. Juice was a rarity. Drink options were usually skim milk or water. There was no food or drink that was forbidden, but certain foods and drinks were rarely available and better choices were typically available. Never bought sugary breakfast cereals.

I did buy simple, inexpensive cookies and graham crackers. And I did bake for them fairly often.

And, we almost never ate out, rarely had fast food.

Maybe something in there will be of help!

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mbelgard Posted 23 Feb 2009 , 7:11pm
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Originally Posted by jer702


I agree with you on the Wii, It also told her that she was overweight but I made sure to let her know that it was just a game and thankfully it didn't seem to bother her. She enjoyed doing the Aerobics part and also the yoga too since she's been taking yoga in school. Hopefully this will work, cause she's working out and having a blast at the same time.

That's why I said to avoid the body tests, I don't mind the weight thing but the BMI thing isn't something I like too much even for adults.

It might be a good idea to go in and raise her height a little bit to bring down the BMI to normal if you want to keep an eye on her weight with it or if she likes the rest of the body test. That way it won't tell her that she's overweight everytime she steps on it.

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margaretb Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 3:49am
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I have just started reading the book "Nurtureshock". I'm loving it -- it is looking at what actual science there is to back up the beliefs we have about children.

I just read the chapter that talks about sleep. I don't have the book beside me, but the research shows that kids are getting about half an hour or an hour less sleep a night these days than they did 30 years ago. And what else has changed in the last 30 years? Obesity rates. Obviously sleep is only one factor, but lack of sleep affects the chemicals in the brain, and one thing it does is either create more of the chemical that makes us hungry or less of the one that turns off the hungry one. Anyway, result -- overeating. Also, a tired child will be more lethargic and not be as active. (If you have teenagers and they start school at some crazy early hour before 8:30, you will be interested in the results from the schools that changed the start time an hour later and increased SAT scores by more than 50 or 75 points in a year and the one that reduced teen driving accidents by something like 25%).

Anyway, good luck. I have solid huge kids myself, and they will never ever be considered skinny or slender. They aren't fat, but they are just not built to ever be skinny.

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saffronica Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 4:43am
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There are a lot of good suggestions here, including the one to switch to whole wheat. My sister has a family full of big eaters, and she switched to whole wheat pasta recently. Not only is it more healthful, but the kids don't like it as well, so they eat a lot less!

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LaBellaFlor Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 5:32am
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I worked with severally overweight children. I'm talking about 8 yrs. old and weighing 387 lbs!!!! Three meals a day and 3 healthy snacks at proper meal times (nothing after 7) does WONDERS for kids. And yes, they have to be active. But you would be surprise it's what they eat and how they eat that does them in. My sweet little 8 year old did NOTHING for herself. She didn't even know how to bath herself! Her mother did everything for her, EVERYTHING! Not saying that's what your doing, just saying that any activity helps. And boy, did she LOOOVE me. I made her do EVERYTHING herself and eat ALL her food. No one else could, but I didn't play with her or give in to her. She used to love working with me, after a while that is. I'll never forget her saying,"Ms.LaBella, you know I don't like you right.", in her Tennesse accent. Me,"Yes, Dear". Her,"Ms.LaBella you don't care do you" Me,"Not at all dear, not at all". And yet she always wanted me to come work with her. Take control of your daughter's eating habits and she'll be fine. And by the way, I don't believe in that BWI crap either. Look at your child. That will tell you if she's okay or not.

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TexasSugar Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 7:55pm
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I'll echo what everyone has said, get her a check up and discuss your concerns with the doctor. I'd also say sit her down and talk to her. Has something major changed in her life? Adults mindless eat, but we all so eat when we are stressed or worried or upset. There is no rule saying that only adults do that, childern can also do the whole emotional eating thing.

Don't put her in a diet and try not to make a big deal about her weight or helping her lose it. This will put added pressure on her and we want her to have a healthy relationship with food, not another way. I'm heavy, have been since puberty hit. I can understand and think it is great that you want to help her now rather than let her continue down the path of gaining weight. Getting to and keeping a healthy weight can't be done with diet alone. It has to be a life style change.

She is at the age where you are able to control what is going on. I'm not saying it is your fault and beating yourself up on it isn't going to be good for either of you. She is the weight she is, other than figuring out the patterns and changing them, it doesn't matter. Look forward and not back ward.

Not buying snack foods is a great start. So would cutting out cokes or any sugary drinks she gets. Just because it is labled juice doesn't always mean it is healthy. Watch the empty calories and sugar in drinks. Replace the bad snack with healthy and fun choices. Also watch portion sizes when you are serving her snacks and meals. Don't do dinner family style but buffet style. If the food isn't sitting on the table we don't go back for seconds as much.

Also don't single her out when it comes to eating, or you will put added stress on her. Make healthy eating a part of everyone's lifes, as well as forms of exercise. Family walks, bike riding, games played in the back yard.

Good luck at helping your daughter get her weight under control now and teaching her the healthy path to eating.

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prterrell Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 10:01pm
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Definitely do NOT do what my mom did. I was always a chubby child and at 10 she put me on Slim-Fast. Do you know how hard it is to sit at the dinner table watching everyone else eat a yummy dinner while all you get is a nasty chalky "shake"? It was around that time that I started hiding food in my room, including cookie dough that I would make with margarine, sugar, and flour and keep in an old Cool Whip container in my bedroom closet. When I got older, I'd eat as much as possible when I got home from school, being sure to have all evidence cleaned up before my parents got home. All through my teen years and into my early 20s I had horrible food and body image issues.

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funcakes Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 11:02pm
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My daughter worked with children with feeding disorders. Most had to have their behavior modified to eat because they had feeding tubes and then were strong enough to eat food. Never chewed, swallowed or had solid food in their stomachs.
Some of the other kids had other health problems. One was overweight-more than 100 lbs. at 4 years old. She had a small tumor in her brain that stopped her from knowing that her stomach was full. Heart breaking! There could be so many reasons for your child's weight. I think it might be a journey to find the cause. Most ped. doctors do not see the type of problems the kids my daughter treated. She worked at a huge medical facility. You might start with your local doctor and the suggestions given and then if it doesn't produce the success you want move onto more specialized medical centers.
My best wishes for a quick resolution for this.

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LaBellaFlor Posted 1 Jan 2010 , 11:43pm
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This is true. I worked at a specialized hospital for children with behaviorial and/or medical issues.

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sadsmile Posted 3 Jan 2010 , 7:03pm
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I don't think the weight can be accurately judged from one child to another as everyones make up is unique. But 6 in size 10 is a red flag. Kids sizes are made by age and usually a healthy child will wear his or her number age or one number up or down. Buy a Trampoline ASAP kids love to bounce and that is a full body cardio work out. Take her to a play ground a few times a week to climb and run around. Make sure the food choices are healthy, whole grain, low sugar, low salt, low fat. Stay away from high calorie high fatty meats. Limit the bread and up the portion on veggies. Plenty of water or 100% juice 1/2 watered down-NO SODA. You can actually think you are hungry when in fact you are dehydrated and thirsty as anything. Change from ice cream to sorbet made of all fruit. No more seconds EVER!... because it's so good. It will be just as good as leftovers tomorrow. Buy smaller plates and bowls and make actual child sized portions. Cereal is bad- all of, it no matter what the box says(with exception of the ones that taste like cardboard icon_wink.gif ) as they all have too much sugar added. Let her chew gum instead of candy. Gum lasts longer and you usually burn more calories chewing it then it contains. Just stay away from the kid's hubba bubba and junky gum.

But by all means the most important thing is not to jump all over her or make a huge deal over this. Just make small changes and keep at it. Don't say because she has to lose weight or lose fat. Just say it's healthier and better for you. The way you handle it can cause either a healthy lifestyle or a very unhealthy attitude about food and herself.

I have a weight issue and my 12 yo is built like me- though she's not fat at all but more thicker in the thighs then her pencil thin friends. And I stopped letting her have seconds on anything and bingo no more issue. I limit the sweets to one or two cookies period for the day and only after a balanced meal. I have flopped our portions around and veggies are now the largest serving, meat the second and starches the smallest-if at all. Fresh fruit and healthy snacks, carrots sticks, raisins...

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mbelgard Posted 4 Jan 2010 , 10:04pm
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Originally Posted by sadsmile

I don't think the weight can be accurately judged from one child to another as everyones make up is unique. But 6 in size 10 is a red flag. Kids sizes are made by age and usually a healthy child will wear his or her number age or one number up or down.

The part about the weight is true, some people are either more muscular or have bigger bones, but the rest isn't even close.

If your child is tall enough for a size and is wearing either a regular or a slim they're at an ok weight no matter what the size. Those sizes were developed when people were shorter, the average height has gone up since then. Now if you're just buying shirts bigger because you can't find plus sizes in anything but pants that's different.

I really wish that my own kids would keep with their age because they go through clothes so fast it's driving us broke. My youngest was in an 8 by the time he started kindergarten and I hate buying him clothes because nothing fits since even the slims are too big around.

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sadsmile Posted 4 Jan 2010 , 10:21pm
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I was talking about around not tall. In your exception yes what you say is right for your kid. Your kids are too tall for their sizes not to big around. If a kid can't fit into his age size width wise because that size is to tight then that kids(depending on his bone structure) usually weighs to much for his age.

"but the rest isn't even close. " I don't like being told I'm not even close on something I know darn good and well is true. icon_wink.gif

- Sizes are based on ages and a general size at that age. Sizes Roughly Correspond To Age. Baby clothes, by month and then Toddler clothes by year, up until you hit the teen sizes then they start over and have nothing to do with age. At least in the USA that is the general size scale that is used for clothing. It is very different in different Countries. Also stores have size charts to understanding S,M,L and XL and they directly correlated those to the sizing system that is based on age.

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LaBellaFlor Posted 4 Jan 2010 , 10:57pm
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My daughter is 8, she barely started wearing a 6. And she was the one that weighed 8 lbs. 5 ozs. at birth! icon_smile.gif

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